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 Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2016 11:05 pm
"Nah. I wasn't." Otto replied with a shrug. "I was homeschooled, mostly, so I didn't know anybody, let alone make a band with anybody." He'd been lucky enough to get a girlfriend from the next town over, even if it was ill-fated. "Jerry wanted to make some kinda music club on the island, but I always avoided him about it. Hell knows what's happened to him since I last heard of'im." Otto being the anti-social sort of guy he was avoided most kinds of organized socializing. Bands, clubs and otherwise. "I don't think I could be in a band anyway. Bein' on a stage scares me shitless. Don't like too many eyes on me."
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 8:25 am
Melvin had no idea what Jerry had been up to, but the island wasn't any less quiet without him. He had chalked it up to a transfer and imagined him playing his guitar in some other cafeteria. It was better to think of than the other possibility of why he wasn't around.
"Really? I never took you as having stage fright. You always came off to me as someone who is very confidence and caring less about what others think. I guess it doesn't matter since it could only be a hobby anyways. I don't think planning gigs would work out for any hunters." The band members could die and you'd be left without a lead singer or bass guitarist let alone having to make sure you never made a name for yourself to draw attention.
Pro: .........
Melvin tapped his pen against the notebook and looked back over to him.
"If you were homeschooled, did you leave your family to be here?"
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 7:37 pm
"Just cause I say what I think don't mean I think I'm Top s**t." Otto grumbled back, idly picking at his nails. More often than not, Otto was a polar opposite of someone with confidence. He cared a little too much about what others thought, but still found himself spewing whatever cranky comments came to mind. "Yeah, I left'em." He eyed Melvin with a sneer, just waiting for the man to make some kind of absentminded judgement about his choices.
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 7:53 pm
Pro: She said she was happy.
Con:
she's gone
He stared at the paper before looking back at Otto slowly. "Oh....I guess its just me then. i think Suns come off as very confident. Probably cause you deal with so much on the battlefield. Sorry."
He went back to his notebook.
It took a while for his mind to come back to the surface again. "I left my family too. I miss them a lot sometimes, but they are probably better off. I ....stopped checking their facebook accounts on leave." It only made him depressed if he did, and he secretly worried he would be found out and they would suffer.
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 8:06 pm
"Dude, you coulda gotten in trouble for that. We ain't supposed to check on them. Don't matter if it was on a computer." Melvin seemed less a rational adult the more he talked to him. "I could care less what happened to my family. Those jack-asses can rot in Hell." Otto's curiosity finally got the better of him as he gestured to Melvin's notebook. "The ******** you writin' about anyway?"
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 8:19 pm
Bittiface Always fun Convos for Otto. Sorry dude.
At the notebook, he only looked down at it, not sure what answer to give Otto. He clearly said whatever he felt, and while that could lead to honest opinions, he wasn't sure how much he could take.
"I'm.........sorting things out.....that i need to do. All of....Rin's things. ...with her passing on."
"If i should do them. Thought a list would help me out."
it was more just a long derailed list of pointless thoughts that weren't leading to any real solution or helping him make any major decisions.
"It's not working." All of it made him feel far too tired.
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 9:05 pm
As much as Otto wanted to chide Melvin for holding onto Rin's stuff this long, he himself was no stranger to grief too. However... "It's been a long time, dude. Holdin' on too long won't do you no good. Just keep a couple small things that you can fit in a box and toss the rest. Give it away or burn it or bury it."
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 9:10 pm
He gave a simple "Hmm" of agreement on that. He had boxes upon boxes of her things that he had unpacked and had to repack. It was deciding what to do with it that was the hard part. "I'm trying to figure out what."
And then there were bigger problems.
"I think I'd get in trouble if I burned a greenhouse down though." Not that he wanted to considering it had been so important to Rin.
He closed the note book, tossing it to his side before putting placing the pen behind one ear where he usually put Saliva.
"Just don't want that to go back to being nothing though." He sighed, rubbing a hand under his glasses as if it would help alleviate the strain.
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 9:27 pm
"Get someone to look after the greenhouse, then. I mean, it'd be helpful to have around." As long as the island remained fog free, they may as well grow their own food. Not that Otto was a fan of veggies anyway. "Attachin' memories to s**t will hold you back. Photos are enough."
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2016 9:42 pm
He had given up any pretense that he was actually doing any work here and instead looked up where the ceiling met the wall in front of them.
"So someone can let it go to hell? There was a lot of work that went into making it run again. It was her project." Her baby, as much as a hunter could have something called that.
Then, more somber, he considered what few photos he actually had of Rin.
"I didn't take enough photos."
He had just assumed he'd have time to accumulate more as they went on. It wasn't like anyone told him he would start to forget how she looked like and it would be best if he took moments that were important. Not just times they went out on dates on leave, but everyday pictures in his mind. Of her sleeping, of her smiling, of her being annoyed or angry over something (usually something he did), and the moments where she would think of something so important to her that he'd actually start to get concerned over the silence.
"I guess it's more that her things.....the greenhouse......no one would really appreciate them as much as I do. They'd just be objects devoid of any real meaning."
The feelings and care placed in them in her lifetime. It was like saying she had no meaning when she was alive. He pressed his lips tightly, keeping himself from wanting to just stand up and leave suddenly. Small thoughts like that would invade his mind and he knew when those moments gripped, he had to immediately seek some sort of shelter or else he'd break down again.
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Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2016 6:23 am
"Yeah, it was hers. But she ain't here no more. Either let it go to Hell, or take a chance that someone'll do good for it." Otto's patience was thin, especially when it came to dealing with the soft and fragile feelings of people he didn't even care for. Therefore, his tone had dropped from indifference to impatient, even if he meant well. "Yer right. Her s**t won't mean much to someone else. The only person that'll give a s**t what happens to it is you."
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Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2016 8:47 am
It was a very split decision and a very simple one in how Otto delivered it. It made it feel easier than it really was, like playing a game of Inny-Minny-Minnie-Moe would resolve.
"You're right." He said, before he thought about it. There was one other thing though. Who else would care about her things more than him? Who had had her approval? Noah was someone Rin welcomed to the greenhouse and Rep was her dear friend. If anything, the greenhouse and her things could go to each.
He looked back to Otto. "Thank you. I know I'm not easy to talk to." Otto didn't have to be a debt person to him right now, but he listened and gave him his opinion instead of belittling him for caring about something he valued as important.
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 6:46 am
"That's okay. I'm told I ain't easy to talk to sometimes too." Otto grumbled back. "I ain't exactly sensitive neither. But I lost a lot of people in my life. So.. I know it ain't easy just lettin' s**t go." He gave a dismissive shrug, as if he didn't want to let the weight of the conversation settle on his shoulders. "She was a really cool chic. Rin, I mean. I'm sorry, man."
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:23 am
He gave a slow nod as he looked out, not able to look at Otto for fear of letting his weak composure slip. "Yeah. - She was."
The apology was kind and he could see the other man was trying his best.
"And it's ok. It's not like it's your fault." It was just his,but Rin had told him to move after she left Jan.
"Have you....gotten used to this? The idea of possibly loosing someone close?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 7:48 am
"I don't think I can ever get used to it." He answered honestly. "I mean, sometimes I don't feel much of anything. Mostly cause I don't want to.. so s**t just gets closed off and I can pretend I'm fine. But knowin' I can lose it all over again gets to me sometimes." "But I can't live without it.. um.. you know. Havin' someone close. The fear of losin' someone is bad.. and like.. super real. But choosin' to live without love is worse." Whether they died, or whether he'd messed things up. Loss was loss. Friends and lovers alike, it always hurt. Like someone tearing out a piece of yourself, and having to live with the knowledge that it would never grow back.
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