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 Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 5:33 pm
The question stung to his surprise, and he turned away, looking down as he crossed his arms. "Which color? You make it sound like I'm just going to go through the rainbow of failure." He muttered, watching the water just creep a puddle close to where he stood under the shelter.
Quiet a moment, he looked out at the sky, as if he could see HER again just like that night – but that name, that inspiration, was gone.
"I don't think any now. I only used the name to honor Tanzanite. She sacrificed a lot to save us when we were about to be slaughtered, and after………..she just…….started still suffered. She never wanted me to go after the Dark Moon Court. She wanted me to just do what was better for the whole, to move on despite how much it hurt all of us, but then……she just left. Left like all the other good ones. Charonite. Nealite. Tanzanite. Just…..I couldn't listen to her for once. I think being what I am now, I can't even use her image anymore. I went against her back then, but I was still on her side. Now…."
Now he was a traitor to her too. "…she would hate me." He gave up on the Negaverse. He left them because he wanted to kill the DMC more than being with them. To get some freedom …and to be with Wyatt.
He wasn't a good solider anymore. He was selfish.
"They sacrificed all for the cause. I just ….gave up on it." But for good reasons, just…..reasons that still didn't mean he didn't feel a sense of loss.
He looked up at her briefly, just a flicker, before he looked away. "So I'm open to any name. I don't know if anyone will want to try again. I was used as a pretty good example of why NOT to join my side. I can change sides but that still burns too."
A sigh came as he leaned back, looking over at her. "I don't have any plans. Just wants. I don't exactly have a good …..hold of things at the moment. Everything is still new. Do……….I still seem normal to you?" She'd known him a little while before the change. Did he still act like his former self?
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 12:25 am
Europa, took a step back - she hadn't meant to insult him. Quite the opposite, she'd been trying to be lighthearted. But then, the significance of the name had been lost on her in the first place. It was a stupid cause, she thought, biting the inside of her cheek. And a terrible cross to martyr yourself on. Gevaudan was too freshly free of Chaos's taint for that kind of talk, she thought. They were friendly right now, but she didn't want to chance it. "We can work on it," she said gently. "See what we come up with. I don't have any plans, either, but I have plenty of time." She considered him. "You seem like your usual cheerful self to me," said Europa, smirking slightly, "but we've always been strictly business - you remember that much. I know it can be a strange change to come through. People who keep their civilian memories are more or less the same. People who lose those... I think they wind up like their old selves but more... intense. They have their basic traits distilled. They're not filtered through experience or ego anymore. You are who you always were." "You could come by for dinner sometime," she suggested, crossing her arms over her chest. "I make a killer lasagna." My husband's ex-negaverse, too. You can exchange notes. Except that seemed a little on the nose, so she held back from saying so.
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Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2015 8:49 pm
He gave a bit of a embarrassed smile back. "Yeah, not a great question to ask. Sorry I even said it. It wasn't like I was social with my own gorup either. I was a General that didn't have a team assembled." Which he should have gotten a lot more flack from his superiors for not doing as it was one of their duties to train the younger officers. While he did take them on lessons, he never did what was more acceptable in taking a few under his wing and assembling a team to supervise.
Outside of that, he also didn't hang out with many ofifcers, talking to them when they passed by the hallways of headquarters or while out on patrol, but not going out of his way to really meet regularly. His time had always been patrolling and working for the cause, but he had failed to really connect near the end. He also knew why, and while he lost the memories of his civilian life, he did not loose the memories of all the people he saw brutally murdered before him.
Europa's officer had him looking at her. Just like his other life, this llife woudl see pain and blood. It would see destruction and death.
"....yeah. I guess. I'll....have to talk it over with someone." If Europa died, he would at least hope she died taking someone of worth out, and while he liked her for being by his side against the DMC, he wondered how much it would hurt things by knowing more abotu her.
Also, she was still a senshi, and he still had feelings abotu associating himself with what he still saw as the enemy not to mention a lingering paranoia about being attacked even when they shared the same aura.
It felt dangerous.
"Are you still training?" He asked, hoping to change the subject.
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Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2015 11:56 pm
Europa shrugged. "I'm not much for leadership, either," she admitted, "so I'm not going to hold it against you that you weren't mentoring the future minions of darkness." The Negaverse might have cared, but Gevaudan was now so far beyond their grasp that they could reach, and reach, and no choke collar would ever be able to drag him back to Leto's side. A strange look crossed her face at his last question, a sort of awkward hesitation. "As much as I can," said Europa, flexing her hands. "I - I didn't want to bring it up when we were on opposite sides of the war, but my health's kind of... unreliable." She sighed. That made her sound like she probably shouldn't be a senshi at all. "I mean," she assured him, "I'm a lot better than I was this time two years ago! But I have good days and bad days. I do my best - but I'm not going to run a marathon any time soon." Cringing, she added, "Sorry. You looked behind the curtain and all you found was a kind of mediocre senshi. Maybe don't tell anyone? I have a reputation to maintain as a hardass know-it-all."
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