This was nice. Being here was nice. Having a solid place to stay with a ******** ton of new opportunities in a new city was nice times a thousand. Staying on couches was fine for a while, but it got to be a drag. You never got to have anything of your own because you never had a place to put any of it, and there was always that chance someone was going to steal your s**t or ******** it up, or someone was going to get mad and throw you out on your a** before you had another place to go...
Sid liked to travel. She didn't like floating in the wind so much any more.
Silence stretched companionably between them and the buzz of a good high left her feeling light and relaxed, at peace with just about everything. But, as she had expected and rather hoped he wouldn't, the inevitable question was asked. The peaceful feeling faded as Sid let her head fall back to rest against the chair back, giving her a view of the blue sky over the walls of the garden, studded with puffy clouds.
What the ******** happened in New York? Good ******** question. Sid was quiet for a while, running her studded tongue across her studded lips. She weighed what she wanted to say, and then she shrugged boney shoulders.
"Stuff, you know?" She hedged. "Ice and I moved there from Chicago because we got restless. It was a lot of fun for a while. We even decided we were going to get married."
The ghost of a smile flitted across her face at the memory, the expression sweet and kinda self-deprecating, like she still couldn't really believe it after all this time. It faded quickly as she lifted her head, reaching to pick up the pipe again. Thin fingers played with the striker on the lighter as she cradled the bowl in her hand.
"Then Ice got hurt and ended up in the hospital. We thought it was a good thing, after. We decided we were going to be better, do things better, so when we got married, things would be good, you know? We'd have an apartment, maybe a house, and a dog or a cat or something. But like... things changed." She shifted in her seat, abruptly taking a break to take another hit from her pipe. She drew hard this time, burning up what was left of what she'd packed it with. When she spoke again, her voice was strained with holding in the smoke before she let it out.
"Ice changed. I changed, I don't know. It just wasn't the same any more, that's all. Like... it just got hard. Relationships are really ******** hard sometimes, and sometimes they get better and sometimes they don't. I just... woke up one morning and it was like... 'I don't think this is ever going to get better. Do I really want to marry a guy when its so ******** hard all the time?'. You're supposed to know, when you wanna marry someone, right? And I thought I did, but then suddenly I didn't. And I didn't want to get married if I didn't know, so... we broke up. Well... I broke up, with him." She said as she knocked the bowl out against the arm of the chair, inspecting it for last embers before she wrapped it up and shoved it back into her bag. "Loaded up all my s**t in my car and I left. It wasn't fair to hang around like that. I figured, the sooner it was done, the cleaner the break, the better, right? I've just been... couch surfing with friends, ever since. Trying to get my music out there. No bites though, and New York is all full of memories of Ice. So. Here I am."
tatterpixie
