[PRP] Undertow (Lex/Ami)

[chiickadee]

"Do not," she bellowed, "beg." She took a step away from him, away from the situation. Like she would walk out the door to find the real Lex there. They could fight off this figment together. There had been talk of clones on the island right?

Junpei was silent for the first time in his existence as a weapon. Aghast.

The pain didn't come from the action, but from the fact that, "You knew. You knew, you knew." That was as much as she could choke out before another round of sobs got her. Junpei surged brighter, he filled in the gaps that she couldn't form. They had been together for a long time, he knew her energy. Junpei was as much Ami as Ami was Junpei.

Lex knew what Adam had done to her, what little pieces of a heart she had left. She was a walking shell and she thought Lex had accepted that, but to discover that he had not only not accepted, but rebelled in it. Change had come too swiftly and Ami required monotony. Black and white. Stay or leave.  

[Carhop Cavalier]

Lex was stunned for a moment by how loud Ami was being. Ami was never loud, always controlled, always in control of her self and every damn thing around her. Now the control was lost, monotony had toppled her kingdom. He hated it. Junpei was whole, but Lex would still not draw Regal.

Never on Ami. Let her spear him through the stomach; he would heal in time. The gryphon may be ignoring him, but he was still there - and so was the FEAR shield. Unless she battered him down to nothing.

He deserved it, frankly.

"I knew. I know." Lex confessed in a harsh whisper, cowed by Ami's loudness. He knew what Adam had done, what it would mean to be the second Adam. Lex had promised her that he'd never be Adam, he promised he wouldn't do what he did.

Another broken promise.

"Amalie, my love - it won't happen again. You're perfect; I'm flawed. Please, please, Ami."  

[chiickadee]

"You- Don't-" It wasn't often that Ami was at a loss for words. She always had a quip, a comment, a silence. Her words were carefully placed with precautions and barriers, not wasted in hesitance and drivel.

She couldn't raise Junpei to Lex. She recalled a conversation long ago with Marcus, staring at a training dummy. Could you hit Cass, even then? But the weapon felt solid in her hands, it felt right. She needed the soft yellow glow.

If he was calling her perfect, he had already misunderstood. It was not about being perfect. It was about accepting imperfection.

"Leave," she repeated, her knuckles white on the table she was gripping. Even now, she was holding it together, building her walls. She would build them higher. They would be impenetrable. She would be untouched, unsullied. "Now." If he had any respect for her, he would.  

[Carhop Cavalier]

<< Just go. >>

When Regal spoke, Lex listened. He knew the fight was lost, it had been lost the second he talked with Maebe about playing make believe. It had been over the very moment Lex internalized everything he perceived as wrong with Ami and their relationship, instead of communicating.

Lex had never been more than a surface level person. Of course he couldn't hope to match Ami's deep, impregnable depths. Her mind was just too much for him.

"Y-yes. Straight away." Lex finally met her demand, turning his back to Ami and leaving without another word, but only one simple action: the decanter of whiskey was taken from the sitting room, and when he had traveled far enough down the shore line, Lex threw it against a dilapidated house, shattering it and his borderline reliance on the stuff.

If she looked outside, Alexei was nowhere to be seen.  

[chiickadee]

It was only when he was gone, and he was truly out of sight that she crumpled to the ground and sobbed openly, loudly, fully. Maybe where he was he would hear the echoes.

She cried for the three years of her life she had lost to Alexei Evan Jamil, and the part of her heart she would never recover because he'd stolen it.