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 Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 10:30 pm
Nadia was not the best comforter. She didn't know how else to besides physical contact. She didn't know how to achieve that when she needed Colin and Lorne to help her.
She shut down instead.
"You knew him." She breathed out and looked away, "We all knew him." She reached over to Colin and held his hands up. "I can't do this the easy way. We fought, we tried. A General Queen came in. She held him up like a trophy. I didn't want her to get Lorne...me, anyone else." She held out her hands and let them fall. "I couldn't stop a general queen..." She brought the hands up to her face. "I couldn't even stop a corrupt."
Lorne left and Nadia reached out to Colin. "I don't...I don't know what to do for him." She wanted to something but.."Colin, Please. I don't have anything left." She reached for his face, kissing the cheeks gently. "Can you help Lorne?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 12:02 am
What could he even say? He'd been messed up from the Sandrassacre already, from the loss of one of the people he depended on to help him deal with his crazy life...and now he was being told that his comrades had gotten FUBAR over a friend being corrupted forcibly. It was too much. Lorne stammered an apology that fell on deaf ears, reaching out for him but deciding not to complete the action. Long limbs pushed from the couch and moved away stiltedly, like a somnambulist, leaving Colin and Nadia. The click of the lock, the crashing sound of something being thrown, all these things grated on his raw nerves further, but the blond knew he needed to get it together. They needed him and he wouldn't let them down. He could mourn privately, later. Nadia held his hands, voice imploring that he afford her some sort of absolution in having left Ploutonion behind. Colin squeezed her hands back, compartmentalizing the twisting emotions once more. "You did right, Nadia. You both did right. There's no going against a General Queen or King as we are." Wiping his hands on his shirt, Colin touched her shoulder gently before leaning in to press his forehead against hers. We need to train, to fight...we need to do more so this doesn't happen again. They look to me, I guess...I'm the one who's gotta figure this out. "You did just right and I"m so glad you guys are here" And alive.Nadia's hands were warm but against his flushed face they felt cool; "It's okay, you just rest now. I'll take care of you both." He would get up to fetch a bottle of Powerade (blue!) and give it to her before attempting to rouse Lorne from his bathroom. Nadia needed to rehydrate, now that her wounds were gooped up. Technically he should have wrapped gauze over them, but he would do that once he'd gotten his other friend settled some. "Lorne? Can we talk?" Soft, gentle raps on the door; Colin knew he'd thrown something, knew his friend was taking this so hard...and he didn't want to push him to breaking completely. The frustration of being able to do nothing but basically watch was known to him as well, so he empathized. "I know it's ******** right now...but we're in this together. We'll get stronger - strong enough to protect the ones we love. I swear it." "If you don't want to come out, I can come in?" And then, lower and with some urgency, "Ce n'est pas de ta faute."
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 12:28 am
Lorne wasn't crying. He'd sobbed in the beginning, desperately wanting some sort of release - but his eyes had remained dry, his throat had grown scratchy, and he was - he didn't know what he was. It wasn't angry, exactly, or sadness. The best way he could have even attempted to describe it was a weight sitting in the dead center of his chest, pressing down and making it hard to draw a breath.
Colin's voice at the door, followed by the soft raps of his knuckles, made Lorne feel sick to his stomach. No, no no. You shouldn't have had to come here. He tucked his knees tighter against himself, burying his face against them. I shouldn't even be - leave me alone. Please, Colin, just go. He sucked in a shaking breath. He's the one hurting, Nadia's the one hurt, and I should be helping them, but I can't -
Then, French came through the door. It wasn't just the language itself but the surprise of hearing the words fall from Colin's lips that his head snapped up. The thing in him flared up, and even if his words were his own, it felt like they came from someone else's mouth. "I wish you would stop saying things like that."
Even so - there was a click to announce the door was unlocked.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 12:33 am
Nadia's head dropped against Colin's, much like two precious pups communicating without words. It was comforting, and she knew she could count on Colin to be....what she couldn't. The leader. The tower that held them up, the glue to keep them together. The voice of reason, when they weren't the most reasonable.
Just having him tell her she did it right. That she had done what she needed to made her smile sadly. And she leaned back on the couch and let the goop do its work. She was stronger then tears. So she didn't cry.
But she closed her eyes and she let the thoughts start drifting away.
Every now again though, she took sips from the bottle. She had a dancers body still, and it needed to be taken care of, even if she mentally, did not thing so.
She listened but did so without the intention to intrude. She rested, because soon, she would need to help Colin with what had happened. Soon the acceptance that they had lost one of their own would tear at them.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 12:50 am
Sharp words came through the door even as Colin was looking back to check on Nadia's resting form. She was okay for now. He would be okay. Lorne was biting back, snapping at him like a wounded animal. Good. Hold onto your anger Lorne, it will help you get through this."Not gonna happen my friend." The door clicked over to unlocked and Colin slowly opened it, peering in first with his head and then stepping in with the whole of his body before shutting it behind him. Privacy to mourn and bleed as was needed, but with support. These were things he wanted to give his friend, if possible. "Besides, it's true. You guys tried. It's not your fault we've been thrown into a ******** war without preparation or training." Colin went straight over to the dark haired page and put his arms around his stiff shoulders. "She's alive and so are you. I'm so ******** grateful. None of what happened was your fault. I'll say it a thousand times, Lorne. Because it's true."
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 1:13 am
The touch from his friend, even if he was stiff and unreceptive at first, did something. He didn't look at Colin, though, he still couldn't. "You don't understand, Colin." Lorne drew in a sharp, shallow breath. He couldn't know he was shaking. When the words started, a torrent flowed. "I told myself when I got there that today would be different. I knew where I'd messed up last time, so I - I was careful and I tried to head straight for him, and - and then I didn't do that."
He could still see it playing out before his eyes in a million different ways. "I got distracted. A guy attacked me. - I left a kid with that guy when I thought Na - Methone was - and she still - and then - " A strangled, frustrated sound that wasn't quite a sob bubbled in the back of his throat. "I came all the way back here, and for what? - I don't even learn, I just keep making the same ******** mistakes! That's my fault! Even if I couldn't change a damn thing, I - even this! This thing I'm doing right now!"
Lorne squeezed his eyes shut, hissing between his teeth. "I should be the one making you feel better - you did this for me last time! He was your friend, and I just - I don't - I don't know what's wrong with me." The last part wasn't frustrated or angry; it was softer, sad, and maybe a little desperate.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 1:32 am
He listened and held onto Lorne, one hand smoothing gently across his back. It was like lancing a boil, it needed to come out or it would fester terribly. In many ways, it already had - the nightmare that had been the corruption of the red-and-blue senshi clearly still haunted his friend. It also haunted him, as did a great many other things. Lorne shook against him, anger and frustration and hurt all coalescing into one moment; the situation called to mind a bit of poetry - he never remembered much but this one had stood out and stuck with him. This shaking keeps me steady. I should know. What falls away is always. And is near. I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I learn by going where I have to go.Truth stood in those lines. They learned by going and doing, but often the lesson was brutal and keen to cut. The bled out before the lesson finished and walked about half broken with nightmares and anxieties. "Hey, I've got you. I get it. I get it." Colin straightened a bit and cupped Lorne's face in his hands, leaning in to put their foreheads together much as he'd done with Nadia. "Nothing's wrong with you. We are kids playing at war... in a real war with consequences we have to take to the grave. Untrained and unprepared, remember? There's nothing wrong with you that isn't wrong with me or Nadia or any of the others." And perhaps, there were many things they could do to work at having something like this never happen again, though realistically it would be a long shot with even the best odds. "Ne me fais pas de vous embrasser à nouveau . Je vais le faire. Tu sais que je le ferai." He quipped sadly, green eyes bright from emotion restrained under a brow furrowed with concern. frayedflower just fixing some broken code
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 1:59 am
For the first time, Lorne seemed to let those words of comfort slip in - with nowhere to look but at Colin, he didn't have a choice. Tears welled at the corners of his eyes, at last, but he desperately tried to blink them away, exhaling slowly through his mouth. "Thank you Colin, I - There is though, Colin, " his voice cracked, and he dropped his voice to a whisper because he desperately needed Nadia not to hear him. "If I told you, I - you'd think I'm insane - but there is something wrong with me, very wrong." His hand was on Colin's arm as he spoke, gripping him tightly now.
Those words prompted a sound out of him that was almost a sob, but came closer to a laugh in the end. "Je ne savais pas que vous parliez français, " he choked out, forcing the laughter to go on because it was the best weapon he had right now.
Then, abruptly, he stopped, and the color returned to his face. "... vous savez ce que je dis à Nadia?" he asked hesitantly; being embarrassed was bad, but it was still better than... well, any of this.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 2:21 am
Colin pulled back just a bit so he could shake his head, "I won't think you're insane Lorne. Believe me. If I can deal with magical girls and boys, talking alien cats, people trying to rip my soul from my chest, and alternate realities, I can deal with anything you wanna dish." There would be bruises, later, from the strength in Lorne's grip but if the blond felt pain from his fingers digging in, he didn't show it. There was such urgency there, such anxiety and hurt and a deep, pervasive sadness in his friend's eyes. "Whatever it is, I've got you." "Ballet utilise beaucoup de Français , il était donc utile. Et le plaisir." His lips quirked a bit; Lorne was laughing, but it was high and riding the edge of hysteria. Still, it was much better than the near-crying and self-flagellation that had been going on previously. And to think, he hadn't even had to use his Ultimate Technique! Score one for the home team. Briefly the blond considered his reply, then shrugged a bit. "Yeah, but..." Again he pitched his voice down, knowing Lorne didn't want their lovely friend to know - why else would he have spoken in a language she didn't understand? "Je ne vais pas dire à Nadia . Voilà entre vous deux ."
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 2:41 am
"Alternate... realities?" Lorne blinked once or twice when he heard those words, and for a moment, he allowed himself to hope. Maybe Colin wouldn't think he was completely insane after all. "The reason I came back, " Lorne realized he'd never said this out loud before, shuddering as he reflected on it. "Last fall, I - I had this - it was a dream. But it didn't feel like a dream." It didn't sound any less crazy to him out loud than it had in his head, but there was no choice now but to push on. "It felt so real, Colin, like... like years were going by. Everything was so vivid, I could - I could feel the days passing and - and - "
How to even say it? He looked down again. "I killed someone, someone from the negaverse, and I - I snapped... and I lost it, Colin. I don't mean like a breakdown, I mean - they locked me up, Colin." He choked on his words; this was something he'd carried for almost a year without so much as a word. "And I woke up, but I - I remember everything. I remember how that felt. And this guy, this kid I killed, I - I still dream about this. None of them like the first, but - I thought maybe it was the Code or whatever the hell it was trying to pull me back, but it hasn't stopped, and I keep wondering when - when is this going to happen? When am I going back to the cell?"
He looked up, almost defiantly - or would have been if it weren't Lorne, still struggling to hold back tears. "Still think there's nothing wrong with me?"
That made sense... and even if it was the slightest thing, Lorne knew later he'd be truly delighted to have someone to speak with. "Vous parlez très bien. Cette vérité est..." He was blushing, his shoulders dropping a little as he glanced almost sheepishly at his friend. "Nous sorte de allés sur une date et ... je ne sais pas ce qu'elle voit en moi mais je l'aime vraiment."
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 3:01 am
"Yep. And all the rest of this crap. I turn into some sort of magical girl using a sparkly stick a cat gave me. I watch Star Trek. I've talked to people that told me about horrible futures full of nasty things." His friend now looked hopeful and like he wanted - no, needed - to get this sort of s**t off his chest, needed to tell someone or it would burn him from the inside. Hollow him out. Colin was good with being his confidante, if that's what he needed. As the story progressed, the blond felt his guts twisting more and more; what a horrible thing to have gone through, whether it had been just a very vivid nightmare or an actual future. The blond simply listened, nodding and making appropriate noises while gently threading his fingers through Lorne's fluffy hair. "Hey. Lorne. Look at me, okay. I know it was bad. I can see it written all over your face. But it could just be some...memory or like I said, some alternate future not guaranteed to happen." "I absolutely think there's nothing wrong with you." His expression shifted to something amused, teasing still. "At least, nothing getting laid wouldn't help." Hopefully his voice was low enough, quiet enough, that Nadia didn't hear it. "Thanks. I'm really bad at it." Oh ho, there was something interesting - Lorne and Nadia...on a date? Splendid! "Ce sont d'excellentes nouvelles ! Allez-vous à nouveau ? Je soutiens ce , absolument . Les gars, vous êtes à la fois merveilleux et méritez d'être heureux ." Some words he tripped over, because they were slightly unfamiliar, but mostly he got it out okay. "There's only one bed, I was gonna share it with you, but..."
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 3:16 am
Lorne was looking vaguely amused at Colin's onslaught of weird things - which were all true, to be fair - but then his eyes widened at the last part, and he inhaled sharply again. "So other people - this has happened to other people?" he asked. "It wasn't - it's not just me?"
The way Colin reacted, with the touches and the soft words and more than anything the acceptance and the possibility that he might not really be insane at all, Lorne was so relieved he could have burst. He reached out, ready to snatch his friend up in the tightest hug he could muster, when --
"SSSHHH, " he hissed, and oh the colors he turned, then promptly slapped his hand over his face and dragged it down. - which was honestly probably the single most Lorne-like thing he'd done all night, so maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.
"No, no, you're really very good!" Lorne coaxed him. The fantastic array of colors didn't go anywhere when Colin lent his support in another area, but he was beaming - up until - "Oh mon Dieu, Colin!" he groaned, sliding down until he was all but laying on the floor. Not straight out of course, because he was more than six feet. He was more just a pile of gangly, toned limbs on the floor. His shirt rose up, exposing a glorious spectacle of bruising along his side, although he didn't seem to notice.
"... Merci beaucoup, " he whispered, glancing up at him somberly, but sweetly. "For everything. - and I'm so sorry about Rhys. I can't even put into words how sorry I am."
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 3:39 am
"Yeah, apparently. A corrupt senshi named Kerberos told me about how he went batshit-horrible in some weird future too. It's not just you." While Colin himself did not have such memories, he didn't know if that was due to his being dead in that future or...god only knew what other things. Colin just didn't think about that too much, he had enough to worry about without such things. But it was helping Lorne and that was important. Nadia had asked him to comfort the page (though he would have even without her request) and he was going to do his best. Lorne was about to put his arms around Colin and hug him when the blond's risque little comment sunk in and he started behaving more like himself. And there we go, another brilliant win via sexual innuendo.He snickered first, then started chuckling the more colors Lorne turned, the more exasperated and embarrassed his friend seemed to get. The pile of limbs on his floor afforded him another gander at the page's body and his sharp eyes immediately were drawn to the exposed skin...and the bruising. "It's. It's not okay but I'll be fine. There will be time to remember him later." Colin dropped down to half sit on his friend's legs, "Qu'est-ce que c'est que ça? Vous êtes blessé aussi! Où d'autre? Montrez-moi." He hissed and tugged at Lorne's shirt before muttering how he couldn't let them out of his sight for a ******** second. "Strip. Now."
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 3:49 am
"Man, that's literally the worst thing I've ever taken comfort in pretty much ever, " but it was still comforting, and the oddness of the situation wasn't lost on him; he laughed again, and it was more genuine this time. Lighter, even. Even if he was insane, at least he wasn't alone - after that, he couldn't stomach being alone anymore.
Lorne looked genuinely surprised when Colin perched over him, and even more confused at the string of questions. "Huh? Que voulez-vous dire?" He wiggled a little when his friend started tugging at his shirt, realization finally sinking in when he saw the bruising on his skin. "Oh, that! Un capitaine me jeta . D'une certaine manière . Ne demandez pas, " he groaned that last part, cracking a smile. "It doesn't hurt though."
Strip? WAIT. "No, no, really! I-It's just a bruise, it's no big deal! It doesn't even hurt, see?" He jabbed his side with his index finger and promptly regretted it. But really, what bruise didn't ache when you poked it?! "See, totally fine!"
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 4:05 am
"With how crazy things get, take comfort when and where you can my friend." Truthfully, they got pushed against so many awful and painful things...if they could take some comfort in anything it was good. Important, even. A captain chucked him? Hard enough to leave bruises. "Wow." What more could Colin say, that was ******** impressive. "I'm not asking Lorne. I'm telling you." Colin leaned his face in real close, green eyes narrowed and jaw set stubbornly. "Si vous ne vous sentez pas comme le décapage, je vais le faire pour vous. Avertissement juste." As a means to reassure his friend that he actually meant to make good on his threat, Colin slipped a hand under the hem of his shirt and pulled it up a few inches, murmuring so that this little exchange was only between them. "Keep your shorts, but I want to make sure you're okay and not ignoring an injury."
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