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 Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 8:40 pm
"Cheap beer," he replied with a little smile. "Wasn' lookin' fer somethin' fancy this time." He had to start balancing his budget more anyway.
But there was no discomfort about Scout speaking about her mother. If anything, Dawson was eager to learn more about his shy friend, especially if it meant the questions turned towards her life rather than his. It made a strangely scenic picture in his head: a greasy, older version of Scout with her hair tied back serving as her mother, leaning against a nearly restored vintage car, puffing smoke as the car's exhaust pipe hummed and joined in.
"Sometimes bad things ain' so bad when you gotta cope," he said. It was neither a positive nor a negative remark on Scout's mother, more of an excuse for himself. They reached the stairwell, and he pushed it open and waited for her to go through first. "Mama used t'do the same, but she swore off it after she had JD. Said havin' us around made her too guilty to, we was her angels. Savin' Grace," he added with a nostalgic look.
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 8:46 pm
Scout listened carefully, walking through the stairwell entrance. Instead of pushing downwards, she actually started going up the stairs. If Dawson tripped or collapsed, it would be a lot better going up stairs than it would for him to fall down them.
"The roof will be nice," she told him to shortly excuse the choice. "JD- is that your brother's name?"
Oh- Dawson Grace. She got the joke just a second too late to react- Rigs squawked her approval.
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:00 pm
"Don' forget t'make cocoa first," Dawson added as they went up. The roof sounded nice, though; he probably should have gone up instead of wallow in the dark...
He bobbed his head to Scout's question, and it was nice he was having to hold the handrail tight anyway just in case. "James David," he clarified. "Two years younger 'an me. Kinda a punk, but all the younger ones are, I think. You have any siblings?"
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:30 pm
"Cocoa will come~" she ensured him. "We'll get situated and then I'll go make some." She patted his arm lightly in reassurance. Chocolate would happen.
She took the stairs slowly, mostly because Dawson was already naturally ... slow, but being drunk she didn't want to risk losing him. "James David is a nice name. All the younger ones- there were more?"
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 8:36 am
Trying to remember too much made him physically flinch. Family. Homesickness.
"Cousins, nieces, nephews," Dawson replied, gaze lowering to his feet to avoid stumbling. He took each step more carefully as if doing so provided a buffer for their conversation.
"Cocoa's real m'por'an, y'gotta unnerstand." He didn't know why he fixated on it. Maybe because it had been offered at all. He was so used to just giving, not receiving.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 9:14 am
"That sounds lovely. I do hope you've found a family here as well, though. It would be awfully lonely to go from a big family like that to a small one." She blinked and then covered her mouth. She was already thinking a thousand apologies about such a blunt statement, but it was already out there.
They reached the door to the roof, and she pushed it open for him. Thankfully Deus' roof had a fence, because one too many idiotic hunter had tried to jump off for a multitude of reasons. In this case, it worked as a wonderful barrier from keeping a drunk Dawson from falling off.
"Once you pick a spot to sit down, I'll go get your cocoa dear." She patted his arm and gestured in a "you pick" kind of way."I'll even steal some whip cream if you're good."
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 9:40 am
Dawson couldn't help but make a soft sound, almost like a whimper. Scout had hit the nail on the head, but he couldn't articulate it. Didn't want to. Maybe he should have brought another beer. He eyed the almost empty water bottle mournfully and plopped himself near the middle of the roof, covering his eyes against the dying sunlight.
At least he perked at the mention of whipped cream. "Pain pills too?" he pleaded meekly.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 10:10 am
"Dawson Grace," she said sternly, using her mothers voice. "I am not helping you hurt yourself. Now you stay put right here. I'm going to get cocoa and that's that." She gave him a look that implied if he moved, she would be very disappointed in him.
She actually let out a small hmph, stomped her foot and turned tail to go back down the stairs.
---
She came back up with two mugs of cocoa, both topped with whipped cream and colorful sprinkles. It was hardly gourmet, just being straight out of a package, but it was cocoa and you could never go wrong with cocoa. Cocoa in the middle of summer might have seemed a stupid idea, but Deus' clammy climate aided to it actually being pleasant.
The first words out of her mouth when she came through the door were, "Hey," and, "Listen I'm sorry ..."
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:19 am
He wouldn't have moved anyway; it was the implication of disappointing someone else again that really froze Dawson in place. He sat statuesque and blankly stared at the horizon until Scout returned, at best moving to wipe his nose or get rid of another stray tear before it could be seen.
It actually hurt to turn his head. She was greeted with a wince, followed by an apologetic look. "Don' be," Dawson rumbled. "S'okay." Then he noticed the sprinkles and blinked in surprise. "Aww, shii-oooot, love sprinkles!" He pat the space next to him eagerly. "I owe ya."
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:28 am
She frowned, noting that Dawson didn't fully understand what she'd been trying to say (or rather, that in his timidness he had actually cut her of from finishing her thought). Scout was too much of a coward to say anything though, so she sat down next to him and handed him the mug.
She sat quietly for the time being, spooning off the top of her whip cream before mixing everything together slowly. Dawson could talk when he wanted to.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:42 am
He was quiet for a length of time, carefully lapping up the whipped cream and sprinkles and blowing on his drink so he didn't scald his mouth. Only after he was able to safely take a sip did he ask, "Y'ever miss yer fam?"
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:48 am
Quiet never bothered Scout. The way Dawson was acting so strange did.
"More than anything," she admitted quietly, stirring her cocoa and taking a deep breath into the light breeze that picked up. "Thinking about how sad my momma must be makes me ..." She let out an exasperated noise, not quite being able to say it in words. She shook her head. "But nevermind that. I'm here now and I have many people to look after me." She gave him a look that indicated yes, you too.
Dawson had had his question, Scout had hers. "You know ... you don't have to be perfect. I don't know what could be so bad that a gentleman would get drunk at 2 over it ... but I'd like to, if that's alright."
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 10:02 am
Scout would never get a coherent answer at this rate, because she happened to say the right thing at the wrong time. There it was again, that stupid word: didn't have to be perfect. A ripple seemed to go through Dawson's body like she had released him from something, and then it became apparent she'd unlocked the floodgates again.
He felt extremely guilty because he knew Scout wasn't a particularly touchy person and hated putting her in this awkward position, but he longed to just pull her in and bury his head and cry right into her. Dawson didn't know anyone who honestly missed their family, and he hadn't realized how much he had held back until he met someone who had similar sentiments. Neither Chance nor Maebe nor Horace nor Abbi had ever expressed interest in their pasts (hell, he knew at least Chance lost no love at all about it), and Chris had Chel, and hell even Claude had a half brother on Deus. In a way he felt almost validated now. Felt it was okay to still feel homesick and wish his family was there, or at the very least alive so they could miss him. Not everyone had positive experiences to look back on before this job, sure, but God damn it...
Dawson tried to keep it to a slow leak. Suppressed sobs, hiccuped breath, steady streaming tears, fisted hands around the mug so they didn't tremble. He bent inward slightly and shut his eyes, feeling incredibly stupid.
"I-I-I m-miss 'em s-so bayad," he whimpered. "M-Months n' months, I-I shouldn'..."
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 10:13 am
Scout had expected a sob story, "I'm sorry about that hun, I'm here for you" and then they drank their cocoa in quiet.
Not this.
She was concerned and her face showed it of course, but a guilty part of her was praying to every god that he didn't try to hug her or something. This isn't about you right now, she thought guiltily, but the discomfort still persisted.
"Shouldn't what, dear?" she coaxed him, reaching out a hand to pat his back (that was safe- a hand could be retracted at any time). "Shouldn't miss them?" Her nose scrunched up and the freckles on her face distorted with it. "Of all the- who told you that nonsense?"
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Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 9:50 am
I did. "N-Nob-body..." It was the old conflict of letting it go or keeping it in. Dawson was far more inclined towards the latter, but his body wasn't very good at listening right now.
He set the mug aside and cradled his face in his hands for a few moments, breaths stuttering and lips pressed tight. This had been a bad idea. Validated or not, poor sweet Scout didn't deserve seeing him fall apart.
"Sawry," he mumbled thickly after a moment, sniffling. "Jus'...just give m-me a mo'..." Dawson lifted the bottom of his shirt up and scrubbed his face hastily, coming out ruddy colored and pink eyed, thick eyebrows even wilder looking when askew. He still trembled just a little, but it was getting better. "Wasn' real perfeshal've me, huh?"
He picked up his mug and went back to sipping it slowly.
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