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 Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 6:05 pm
Zar unfortunately did not go away but remained stubbornly looming around the kelpie. "Oh I don't know, that looked like a smile to me. Jusssst there." he pointed with a long razor sharp claw to Calder's collarbone before pacing back to the opposite side of him where he was facing.
"Talk to Zar." he crooned playfully, flicking one of Calder's ears with his long tongue. "I pointed out the smile stalking you, the least you can do is tell me why it fell off in the firsssst place."
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 6:22 pm
His tail flicked at being touched and Calder glanced down where Zar's claw touched him before he sensed him to his side. He glanced over to him, and noticing him looking back, he turned his head again the other way.
"...you should know. "
He curled in a bit more to let his hair now touch the ground and his knees.
"Why did you have to go looking at ghoul parts? You should'a just - not."
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 6:31 pm
Zar raised a brow. "They were there, they were enticing, you are enticing. Of course I was going to look. Why is it a big deal? I have all sorts of parts, some parts I don't even know what to do with, what is the enormous panic about ghoul anything?"
More friendly and reassuring than usual, he reached up to take one of Calder's ears in the small teeth between his long canines in a nibble.
"Is that what this little huff is about? Are you scared of ghouls?"
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 6:48 pm
The nibble got him, and with Zar hovering over him, teasing him, he flickered a smile for a second before he frowned out of spite, and then frowned at the fact that Zar was trying to make him smile in the first place. This was all his fault in the first place.
"No." He grumbled back, and turned his head to look at Zar now, brows creased and he glared at him. "I don't care about other ghouls' parts. Those are fine. I like those parts. I just don't want you paying attention to MINE. "
He turned his head back down and glared at the ground. "I don't want anyone paying attention to em."
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 6:59 pm
"Yours were perfectly fine, more than fine in fact, all your ghoulish bits and pieces are splendid when you have them." He hummed thoughtfully. "Is this about me somehow?" he asked, rankling silently at what he was going to say. "If you want me to respect your..if you want me to treat you with distance or something like that I can?"
His tail withdrew and he sighed, not sure what to do about Calder's mood. "I don't understand why you resent what is so much a part of you. I tried that, I tried that for a very long time, it is destructive and nothing more. You resist your own fear, you resist yourself, it is only going to end negatively."
He stepped back, looking puzzled. "If you don't want anyone paying attention to them, why shape them in the first place."
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 7:08 pm
"I don't...look at em. Use em. .......know em." His voice was barely a whisper.
He remained look down at the ground and then glanced at his chest. ".....and I don't know. Just..........wondering if I could."
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 7:16 pm
"And? I didn't know how to do any number of things until recently. That is what learning is for, that is why we even try things. What is the shame in learning?" He had never seen Calder this confused and found himself mirroring those emotions.
"And it seems to me like you can just fine, better than me. I still struggle to shift.. " he gestured with a paw vaguely at Calder's chest. "It goes against my natural shape."
Grudgingly he looked away and exhaled through his gritted fangs. "Barth likes them you know. He'll like you even more than he already does, if you decide you like them." Admitting it practically caused him pain, but Calder seemed like he needed at least a little encouragement, even if that encouragement meant sacrificing his own doubts and fears.
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 7:26 pm
Calder's ears went back and he turned, narrowing his eyes at Zar. "Barth likes Lilith. I can't match that. Not as a ghoul." He hated that Barth had liked and did like Lilith, and if she never came around again, or gotten eaten, he would have been happy. But he hadn't had ghoul problems recently with Barth.
"I don't.....know how to feel when I'm like this. With any of it. I can't even say I feel good. Just......" He pressed his arms against his body. "....lumpy."
"When I'm her before, when I shift, it's just me. It doesn't feel different - but then you talked and said that stuff, and now it does."
With a final lean, he flopped down on the ground and just laid there. "Now I can't stop thinking about it."
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 7:58 pm
"Lilith." Zar repeated the name aloud as if it would help to envision what she had looked like. He had no idea what the ghoul had been like other than the fact that she was beautiful and Barth had apparently doted on her enough to rankle Calder. If he was honest, it made him worry that all it would really take was someone who was a pure ghoul to show up and oust Calder and him both regardless of their abilities to move between genders. There was always something to be said for a thoroughbred. "I assume I could not compete either."
He tried not to think about it, down that road lay depression and being absolutely useless for Calder and anything else.
"If you don't feel comfortable then don't force it. Relax and let yourself be whatever you really want to be. It might just be that you aren't used to it however, you probably want to give it a chance before you write it off for ever."
He did smile toothily, moving over to nudge the prone kelpie's butt with his nose in a fond sort of way.
"I am a demon, I cannot rightly apologise for lifting the veil of innocence from your eyes."
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 8:11 pm
"Hmm. I'd like to see you bite her head off." He grumbled, finding that both an entertaining and rather alluring idea.
At the nudge, he didn't move, but glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah, you're a demon...and a pain in my a**." He added, before slowly rolling onto his back. Hands holding his jacket shut, he looked up at Zar.
"Do they.........." He had to drop his eyes and let them circle the stable a moment. "....do they look weird?"
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 9:13 pm
Zar grinned in a way that uncovered all his long razor sharp teeth right down to his black gums. "That isn't normally my style, normally it's whole or nothing, but I could make a special exception with no small amount of pleasure. I have no intention of giving Barth's wandering nature free reign without a fight and I do not doubt that you are the same."
When Calder rolled onto his back, Zar put a large fuzzy paw on his tummy harmlessly and leaned right in to look the kelpie in the eyes, inches from his nose.
"Hmmmm....." he said, feigning deep thought. ".....no. They look very nice, the only thing I would say is you might suit them just a smidge smaller, but as they are right now they are just fine."
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MoonKitsune rolled 0-sided dice:
Total: 0 (-0)
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 4:43 am
it felt strange for Zar to be this tender and soft spoken towards him without his words laced with agitation or tired frustration. Often times, Calder felt his presence was more taxing on Zar than welcomed.
Paw on his stomach, he took a deep breath to calm his rattled nerves and tissue thin confidence before he reached two hands to touch his chest. Closing his eyes tightlu, he focused on making them smaller, but in front if an audience, he felt nervous again and could only make them shrink barely a fraction before he exhauled loudly and dropped his hands back down.
He set his thin fingers on Zar's paw instead, letting them touch the long claws and fur for a moment.
He looked back into those large eyes again. "Are... My mare parts normal too?"
He looked back down at the paw.
"Would you like me more if I was a ghoul too? Like... All the time."
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 9:08 am
Zar watched with a relaxed sort of curiosity as Calder worked, finding it interesting to observe how other people reshaped their fear, for him it was less like construction, more a reaction to the needs of other people and what they desired. Without the link he was hopeless and understood somewhat why the kelpie found it so difficult to find an ideal point to stop at.
"Why wouldn't they be?" he asked. "They are completely normal to me. Well. Perhaps not normal, that implies average. You are not average, you are better than average." He flexed his paw slightly as he thought.
"I would like you just fine either way Calder. If being a ghoul meant you were like this all the time, self concious and upset, I would find that irritating and concerning. I prefer you happy or at the very least at ease. Whichever gender you are you present certain degrees of a threat to me, and that simply cannot be helped."
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 10:39 am
He watched the paw flex on him and continued to strike it slowly now to help ease his own nerves. "You said you liked me as a mare. That you didn't get upset around me. Isn't that better?"
His eyes remained on the paw. "You think Barth would like me more this way?"
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Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2015 5:15 pm
"I do prefer you as a mare, but that is no reason to change yourself, my preferences should not dictate what you do or what you are. I simply find females more alluring, perhaps more natural prey. You as a stallion I see simply as a rival. But I would not wish you to be uncomfortable."
He looked concerned at the other question and looked away. "He seems to like ...squashy things quite a bit. Perhaps. I would not bow to his preferences either. If you are unhappy do not let yourself get lost." He drummed his claws and removed his paw finally.
"Because frankly, Barth is a - pardon my language - bit of a p***k."
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