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"Threat still stands, sugar," he warned her before grabbing a chip and dipping with great gusto. Only the skills of a master could have gotten as much cheese as he did on it without causing the "boat" to crack. "Ain' lettin' ya sit in a sty all the time. Not healthy."

Dawson swallowed the chip whole and chewed with a deeply satisfied hum.

"Een if ya make goo' cheezes," he added with his mouth full.

green with

"Rep said that too, you know? That I should b-be thankful that what I f-feel is muted, like listening for a h-heartbeat through a wall. That's what it's l-like. I strain r-really really hard, b-but all I can hear is s-something dulled."

She shrugged.

"We h-hang out, Dawson, and t-that's cool. I'd p-put you up there in my preferred company. B-but are we friends? Shared m-moments aren't friendship. We g-get along, but you don't know me, and I don't know you. Is that okay? I t-think it is. You g-get a facet of who I am, and isn't that okay, too? You're n-not the same to me as you are to others, and that does't make you d-duplicitous. Yet, by b-being aware of the parts of me that never cease m-moving, I usually feel like I'm not g-genuine."

Felicia sighed, fishing up an open bag of stale tortilla chips, crunching on them thoughtlessly. "I d-don't mean to be a d-downer. I've just b-been thinking about s**t I guess."

karaoke

"Yeah, you s-s-should be sorry!" Felicia poked him in the rib with a bony finger, blowing a raspberry. "N-no, not really. B-but I used to karaoke lots. Africa and D-d-desert Rose and I L-love Rock and Roll- s**t like that gets played a lot."

green with

Her and chance shared a lot of things, but even he had gotten together with someone, had reached down deep for a connection and let it form. Why couldn't she?

"Well," Felicia said, folding her legs into a pretzel, "you're n-not the same to me as you are others, right? And I'm not the same to you as I am to others. To Dwight I'm w-w-way more obnoxious, but also I c-can talk tech with him more than anyone. To Rep I'm c-careful and want to know what he has to say, and what he thinks, b-because that's important. To Chance I can c-clinically observe with him, and we understand each other and that n-none of it's personal, like, n-none of it. We are m-multi-faceted beings, and it's not like we w-wear masks to other people, but we know how p-people are and how they w-want to be treated, or at least we know w-what to avoid stepping on to not c-cause any explosions."

She started to braid her hair, messily and without much rhyme or reason. "I just f-feel like I'm hyper-aware of that, m-more than usual. I have a hard time c-caring, like, if someone h-has a bad day I'd r-rather just avoid them, until they feel better. It's n-not my job to modulate someone's emotions, and if they w-wanted my help they'd ask for it, and there's a t-ton of other people more equipped to help eager t-to drop everything and do just that. And I think that's why you're b-better than me-- you c-care, and I've just got an absence of it."

green with

"I know it's s-s-smart," she said, looking a bit like she'd sucked on a lemon. "I'm p-pretty intelligent, technically speaking. My b-brain remembers a lot of what most people have trouble with, n-not just rote memorization of numbers b-but the theories behind it, how pieces s-slot together to form a whole. It's why I d-dropped everything to learn about r-runic and fear s**t, because I wanna know, to take things apart and p-put them back together because that's easy." The braid was left abandoned. "B-but smart means little w-when you gotta start over learning like everyone else, so now I'm a l-leg behind in both the organic and inorganic c-circles, you know? N-not trying earns no one any g-good will, Dawson."

Felicia hummed thoughtfully, and poked him in the belly.

"F-frankly, aesthetics f-first. P-people are attractive, and it's nice to p-put them into categories, cos I'm n-not picky. And then I w-want to know what makes them upset, m-mostly so I can avoid stepping on the landmines. You say you treat everyone the same, b-but if you know someone is deathly afraid of something, do you t-try not to mention it? It's just like that. Just...m-more."

She shrugged. "I d-don't really have anywhere I'm g-going with this, didn't mean t-to drag you into a ramble about how t-to treat people. B-but you can g-get closer to people, r-reach out and t-touch them and their hearts, and it's so w-weird to me that people just leave themselves open. Like g-going to sleep with the door unlocked, it's j-just asking for trouble. Then I r-realize that being open is how you m-make friends and what friendship is about. S-shared vulnerability, and I've g-got a bulletproof door I don't even know h-how to open."

green with

She nodded affirmative as permission, although it was such a shitty braid Dawson was going to have to start over. Felicia offered him a thick brush-- one of many, around the room, although most of them were snapped due to her impatience with tangles-- to help.

"I g-guess. I'd b-bang about anyone, so l-long as I don't have to h-hug them afterwards, like I said b-before. Like, b-bedtime cuddling. Or t-talking about my day nicely. Just w-weirds me out. I think it'd b-be best if I just b-banged someone who already has the emotional c-connection somewhere else, b-but that usually means that they're cheating on them."

Felicia leaned against him, content to just share the space as him with nothing more than, maybe, what could be a friendship.

"I think you're r-right, Mister Grace. I j-just am doing it b-blind, so I can't tell what p-progress I've made or am m-making. You'll k-keep me updated? On how I'm d-doing?"

green with

"D-don't need to," she replied, gently patting his thigh. "You d-don't need to pretend, d-dude. It's c-cool if you'd want to. I'm j-just not, like. Hardwired for it. And," Felicia added, with a poker face, "you s-smell like a mess anyhow."

Dawson had a lot of patience, but Felicia's hair had a fighting chance. It was thick and wild, and due for about three thinnings.

"Heh! Yeah, that's f-fair. Ms. Shepherd is my m-mom, even if she is a doctor these d-days. And r-remarried." She'd kept her surname, though, because no Shepherd needed no man. Wanted, sure, but never needed.

In the back of her mind, Felicia filed this away as neutral activity, not just for Dawson, but for others.

"Pretty n-neat, honestly. D-Dwight's not dead to the real world, like m-most of us. We just knew he h-had a super cool top secret job, and that he d-didn't visit much. I grew up seeing him every so often, family g-get togethers and stuff, yeah?" Felicia fidgeted, tugging away from a particularly tight feeling on her scalp, not that it did her any good. "I got t-to stay in his super awesome s-second floor room for a while. I m-moved out like, r-right before the carnage. His room was ******** trashed, I think he moved somewhere and w-won't tell me where."

She tapped her chin.

"G-guess I'm mostly talking about the situations, not how it f-feels. It's cool t-to see he's a genius, and that he's m-made success for himself. It makes me w-want my own. I'm finally gonna get a promotion, I think. It's so c-close I can almost taste it."