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 Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 12:21 pm
Rep listened curiously, surprised that Felicia wasn't actually picky in her tastes, trying to wrap his mind around what it would be like to not care and in the process conceding that perhaps his standards were more flexible than he comfortably admitted.
"I'm picky like. But on the upper end of the scale you know? I look for a ten for like, a relationship, something long term. But my d**k isnae all that picky either. I guess like my bottom tier of would not ********> is really really low. Any port in a storm sort of thing. Though I have ******** run into some absolutely louping mingers in my day." And because there was no such thing as a boundary of crassness or oversharing for Rep he added. "I had to like, get a frenal ladder thing just to get off with some of those ******** ratty slappers, banana in a hallway didnae do it justice."
He shook his head. "I guess like for me, I'd get annoyed by too smart. Especially if it was that kind of patronising, competitive smart shite. Dumb is easier, dumb I can control, dumb listens. Well, certain kinds of dumb, Ace is dumb, he doesn't listen."
The objection to clinginess to him seemed completely alien. "But if they aren't clingy like, how do you make sure they won't run off? They won't leave?"
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 12:24 pm
Felicia had so many things to say, but it was all washed away when Rep, on his very own, explained to her about his piercings. "Can I see?" she asked, cupping her chin in her hands, elbows on the table. "N-no hetero. Just w-want to see what it looks like!" A pause. "Also, I g-guess I don't care if they leave, usually. Both my b-boyfriends cheated on me, but I kind of knew. I d-didn't mind so m-much."
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 12:33 pm
Rep raised a brow, but when it came to nudity, he had a long time ago on Deus ceased to give a ********. He wasn't exactly a Russian Missile Crisis but he was average or thereabouts and by now was pretty ******** proud of his d**k and its adventures.
"Eh, I'm no wearing any of my fancy piercings, I've got ones with like, gems and s**t in, to match -" he tapped the huge blue gem around his throat.
He undid his belt. "And I ******** care a LOT if people leave. I'd sooner they DIED than left, you know?"
Felicia was presented with some uncut Scottish prime and Rep shrugged his shoulders. "Can't imagine life without it now, I like body mod s**t. Used to be para though with guy's they'd ******** hate it or something. But no, it's fine." He returned to a state of modesty and re-did his belt, rolling his shoulders.
"Shame it couldnae fix the ******** ginger pubes though."
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 2:08 pm
Felicia made a not bad face and a nod of appreciation. "Gems! That s-sounds fun. I want to get my nipples done, you know, f-for like, decoration? Bare w-walls and all." She gave Rep a solemn thumbs up. "I h-have a magnet in my finger," she offered, wiggling her right pointer. "S-Sensory augmentation is rad. Like, w-when I use the m-microwave, I feel it. Or, I used t-to. Runic is different, none of that h-happens. I went on leave and it scared the s**t out of me." What's stopping her now, anyway? From getting more body mods? Huhm. Maybe something to file away. "I don't think I've ever c-cared if anyone left," Felicia noted, "Dwight's n-not dead to the world, just high profile f-fancy secret clearance stuff." She waved a hand. "And red hair is lovely and s-so is your firecr-crotch, don't you w-worry."
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 2:56 pm
"I had one n****e pierced." Rep said. "Till it got punched inside my ******** chest cavity, I've been meaning to get the other one done, but never really got the time. Every time I get leave I use it for other s**t." He did seem to approve though. "Pierced tits are hot as ******** though, I'd defo crank you up a few ******** notches on the hottie scale of you got some metal. Maybe I just like steel."
He raised a brow curiously at the idea of having that sort of sensory addition, intrigued while also cautious of any possible problems it could present.
"I care a lot when people leave. A lot." he set his mouth in a thin line. "They take something of me with them that I'll never get back, and there's something violating man, about them taking those pieces of me and exposing them to people I don't know and maybe don't want to know. It makes me sick to think of it. Especially here. Before the island it was fine, here its like too dangerous, too close."
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Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 3:10 pm
"Owwww!" She clutched her nips in sympathy. "S-sounds like you do. I knew a girl once w-with a lot of piercings, like everywhere. I think my f-favourite were her hip anchors, though. She had l-little diamonds!" Felicia flopped back against her chair, sprawled lazily. "Huh. I n-never thought of it that way. But I d-don't think I give anything away. S-showing something isn't the same as f-forking it over. It's still me and mine, and if they t-take themselves away, I don't go anywhere."
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 2:45 pm
"It was so much ******** ow." he said grimly. "I've been tempted to get like surface piercings and s**t, but never bothered cause so much s**t can rip things out of you in this line of work it'd just be another target, maybe someday."
She did get a baffled look however for her comments about relationships. "That must be really ******** handy." he said. "For me its like, bits of my soul get taken, even if I don't want them to and its just ******** horrendous. Its fine if I trust the other person to have that bit of me, but like, if I don't? Then its like being robbed."
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 3:02 pm
"I can ******** imagine. But, still...I'm t-tempted. Aesthetics, you know." A little shrug. The danger was real and loomed on the horizon, but she still hadn't seen enough to truly understand it. It was yet another inconvenient truth, pushed aside to make room for other things. "D-dang, that sounds rough. B-but also, like. Real, I think. You're r-really grounded, head on your shoulders and f-feet on the ground. I always feel, like. I d-dunno. Floating? It's hard to t-touch down. But I want to."
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 3:29 pm
"Aye, its good to feel good, its why I even have as much as I do. I've ******** hurt my lip a good few times thanks to these snake bites. Maybe sometime. Main thing I want to get done is ******** stripes dyed into my hair. I need to get time to do it though." He'd realised the other day that fate had given him what was essentially tiger hair and he was only a small step away from taking it the whole haul.
"Eh I'd rather be floating sometimes, you don't really want to end up on the ground, that way everyone can get to you, up there no one can really ******** injure you, tear you apart easily. I'm always so ******** vulnerable."
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 3:44 pm
"Oh my g-g-god!" Felicia yelped, slamming her fists on the table in excited fervor, kicking her feet gleefully as well. "Yasss! Like a c-c-c-cat!" She flashed him thumbs up. "I've only ever d-d-dyed wigs, or I'd offer. And with w-wigs I can just, g-glue stuff in, you know?" She leaned down to pick up a few fallen photographs, as they'd slid off the table with all her racket. "Yeah, b-but vulnerability can be good. You have all these f-feelings, acutely, intensely. Like a fire. I'm lucky if I get a spark. Why d-do you think I'm so invested in like, other p-people's relationships, and shipping? It's like, I g-get to watch, over and over, human b-beings being vulnerable. It's awesome, and I m-mean, the great and v-vast kind of definition of the word. L-larger than life, a t-tidal wave poised to crash and sweep people away in love or agony. I would k-kill to feel it, good or bad. It's r- real."
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 7:47 pm
Rep looked surprisingly pleased with this reaction to his idea, he hadn't really voiced it to anyone yet, it had just been something he'd been thinking about doing, musing on. Partially it was a way for him to not loathe the colour of his hair, not to look in the mirror and think ginger and all the attached connotations of that label. He'd rather look and think of something good, something dangerous.
"Aye I'd probably go find some fancy salon or some s**t to get it done, I guess we can like choose from anywhere at all for that kind of thing."
He doubted that vulnerability was a good thing, he'd watched Cael function on a level that did not require the input of anyone else, H didn't need anyone. All the people with real power and control were detached and cold, separate from everyone else and from relationships. "I dunno man, it's too much. It gets in the way of efficiency, like I can't just ******** use people the way I'd want to, I can't just like, climb the ladder, I'm always too ******** hurt by the s**t I do, it makes me ******** weak. People are always banging on about what a shitty person I am and I'd like to be PROPERLY able to be that thing. If I have to kill someone I just.. think about it for ever and ever and how much better than me they were and just fixate. I would be something colder, something less dangerous to myself any ******** day."
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 5:55 pm
"So ******** expensive, though." She was the type of person to blow half a grand on computer parts, but baulk at a twenty dollar bottle of shampoo. "B-but is efficiency what really matters? Do w-we need power to be successful?" she asked, the questions half rhetorical. "Would you r-really trade love for power?" Felicia frowned. "C-cold doesn't mean any less impulsive, though. I still j-just do what I want, and t-the consequences j-just don't register until after. I think that c-can be normal, if that's your nature, you know?"
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 1:48 pm
"Aye its ******** expensive, but sometimes a bit of vanity is worth it, the tatts cost me a ******** mint. I really like to like, feel decent, I can't ******** face the day if I like, don't feel good in my own skin. It doesn't matter about looking GOOD like, you know? I'm no some ******** vain metro c**t, I just like to feel vicious. I'll pay whatever for that." But apparently the cost of a free shower was too high and not vicious enough.
"We need power for everything." he said without hesitation. "It's the main thing that matters, its the real thing that matters. Even love is nothing like, if you can't keep it, if you can't control it." And there was something approaching panic in his voice. "It leaves you so ******** vulnerable, it can ******** kill you. If something happened to Ace... that's it, it'd all be over. Your life gets stretched out like into two bodies and it makes you twice as open to getting hurt."
He looked doubtful. "I dunno though, cold just..distance seems so much more desirable, like armour that's built in."
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 3:56 pm
They were so different in nearly every way. "I d-don't think I've ever r-really thought much about my skin," she said, idly thinking out loud. "I m-mean, on a d-day to day basis. Sometimes I think about the s-scar or the no curves, b-but it's like, not something I f-fixate on. We're all lucky if I r-r-remember p-pants in the morning." She brushed her hair exactly never, and showered about as often, and did laundry even less often than that. Lumpself. That would be her otherkin pronoun, if she had one. "Power d-d-doesn't make it any easier to keep love, does it?" Felicia asked, deeply confused. "I m-mean, you can't change how other p-people feel about you. If they c-change their mind, power won't keep any of it. I think? I d-don't know, you're the expert." She crossed her arms on the table laying her head down in it. "But it's n-not an armor you can take off on your own, I think. Nothing gets in, b-but that's good or bad, and not a lot g-gets out, either. Ugh! This is all so...vast. Expressing yourself is h- hard."
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Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 10:54 am
"I think about my skin all the time." he said. "Where I come from if you've got freckles you might as well have some kind of ******** veneral disease. It's like having some kind of crappy birthmark, people feel sorry for you like oh man it must suck going through life looking like that. People make ginger jokes, they think they are being witty making connect the dots comments, they constantly ******** bring it up. When you blush its hilarious it makes all of you go ******** bright red to them, when you sunburn that's really ******** funny too. It's a ******** blight so I always wanted to take attention away from it. Let them look at something that isn't the ******** spotty mess, let them pay attention to something I control." he set his mouth in a grim line. Rep's hygiene and lifestyle left a tremendous amount to be desired, but there was some part of him underneath it all that seemed to suggest that deep down he would prefer to be able to be openly ******** fabulous, that this masculinity stuff just did not seem entirely to fit.
"It does." Rep corrected. "If you are strong enough it doesn't matter if they change their mind, you'll have their strings, you'll have them in your hands and it won't matter one bit. They won't be able to leave cause you'll just haul them back again like. No. Don't go. And they'll come back." It sounded simple out loud, but it wasn't, he'd almost lost Jordan because he hadn't been strong enough and the other man coming back had had nothing to do with power and everything to do with forgiveness and understanding.
He patted her shoulder. "It's pretty ******** hard, I like to think I'm good at expressing myself, but then everyone around here ******** hates me, so maybe I'm no as good as I like to think. I dunno man. You seem fine the way you are though, and better off than a lot of the really needy cunts on this rock."
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