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 Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 11:54 pm
The snarl that tore from Jaysen's throat was loud, causing the cat to hiss in response, which just prompted the teen to throw something at the bookcase.
"Who the ******** does she think she is. She could have killed you leaving you there, even if her damned youma was watching you." The blonde continued to hiss profanities as she glared at a spot past Alex's head. "You should have called me you ********. You could have just crashed here instead of masquerading around this trash hole of a ******** city."
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Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 12:10 am
"She was thinking she could prove a point, I think. I don't know, Jaysen, all I know is that I survived." In the face of the blonde's fury, he shrank back further, as if he was trying to become one with the couch. "There were medical officers checking on me, every once in a while- I mean, she wanted me to sober up, not die. I think."
He swallowed. "I wasn't thinking straight. I'd barely eaten, barely slept - you saw how tired I was. I - Jay, she asked me for a goal, and I told her I'd bring someone in for corruption. I'm going to sell someone else to this shitty organization to save my own skin." He buried his face in his hands, and it all crashed down on him at once.
"I'm a monster."
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 12:04 pm
"We'll I think you're nuts for even being around her." She wouldn't even begin to comment on the whole drinking thing. To each their own. Jaysen wasn't going to pick someone's poison for them. "Could have ******** fooled me." The blonde snapped.
"No s**t sherlock. That's what happens when you're drunker then the gods." Again the cat hissed at the noise shifting her position from her little bone nest. The blonde however, settled back into her chair with a scowl. "Cause that's just what we need... More ******** conversions thinking they know what's best." Given a different situation, Alex probably could have thought of a different "goal".
"You are a great many, many, ridiculous things Alex, but a monster is far from it. And before you even begin to argue my point, let's remember I sold my brother out in order to get him, and other Dark Mirrors potentially killed."
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Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2015 12:07 am
Alex looked like given a few more pushes, he would burst into actual tears. "How is what I'm doing any better? Just by scale?" He asked. "One person instead of multiple? I'm dragging someone in to be corrupted. I might as well be killing them, for all they'll lose."
He sobbed a little, a pathetic, choked noise. "I'm selling out someone I barely know - someone who's never been anything but kind to me." He sobbed again, and pressed his face into his hands harder, as if that would stop what was pretty obviously inevitable.
"His name is Caledonia Page of Cosmos and I'm going to ruin his life because I was a scared idiot and I couldn't think of anything else to tell her and what the ******** does that say, that that's what I came up with?"
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:46 pm
"Well for starters, you won't loose a hand if I decided I want to snap your wrist." She pointed out, probably a bit to leisurely for either of them. "Secondly, you're smart enough to not repeat the steps you take to get that way." He might still be ******** up, sure, but by changing one simple thing, it opened a whole slue of other options for him to go.
"It happens Kerberos. This time, you were given the option of what you wanted to do. Be glad this wasn't a forced decision that someone else made for you. Be glad Schorl didn't say that was unexceptionable and demand his starseed instead. Let them focus on the "new" guy. You can get out dodge at that point." She was beating around the bush really, but Alex had gotten off lucky with his suggestion. "What would you have done then, Alex? What would you have done if, not only were you suppose to get the seed, but you were followed to make sure it was the right one."
The blonde shifted in her chair, her legs stretching over the arm of the seat. "It's shitty, sure. But he'll still be alive won't he?" She rolled her eyes as the teen huffed at her, unhappy with the response. "Look. It says you paniced. It says that you were human and that you wanted to get out of there. Alex, other people have and will do the same thing. It's part of this s**t hole of a 'war' we're part of, and we need to accept it, whether we like the intentions and actions of others or not."
Noir Songbird RETURN OF THE HUMAN LELLOUCH. Run Kerberos
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 12:23 am
[ Alex was surprised, thoroughly, by how gentle Jaysen was being with him. She was trying to talk him back up, even if at the moment it wasn't really working. He wouldn't have expected that from her, but he was all too happy to accept it.
And in a way, she seemed to be speaking from experience. Maybe. "I - I guess, at least I don't have to..." At least Caledonia would still be alive, and maybe if enough of him made it through corruption intact, he would be able to find someone to save him on the Order side and bring him out. At least he wouldn't be delivering Schorl Caledonia's corpse.
Not if he could help it, at least.
He still started to cry, though, wrapping his arms around himself as his shoulders shook. "I don't like it," he said, and his voice broke. "I want out, Jay, I want out so bad it hurts but I can't leave, they'll just drag me back and kill me."
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Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 9:29 am
"You could be dead... He could be dead... You both could be dead." The blonde shrugged. "You're not. Neither of you are. Granted he's been corrupted but eh. Details."
"Tch. We've lost corrupts before. I don't know if you've noticed Alex but we're not exactly well liked. There are still agents among the Negaverse who think we're garbage and fit for nothing more then Grunt work. I'm sure it doesn't matter one way or the other where you are to them. They probably want you dead regardless of uniform color." Another shrug, this time more subtle.
"If you want out, then go. I won't stop you Alex. Just realize what you're getting into by doing something like this. Being on the other side, doesn't mean or make things any easier." Consequences would happen. Alex would still have to live with what he had done in life. Either as himself, or as Corrupt. He would never truly be 'free' like he wanted.
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2015 5:06 pm
Alex was, perhaps unfortunately for Jaysen, very much one for physical comfort. Part of him vaguely realized this was a terrible idea. He didn't care. He walked over to Jaysen, dropped himself in her lap, and curled up.
"I've noticed," he said, his voice soft. Melanite had all but dismissed him, most agents looked askance - but he didn't know if that was because of him being a corrupt, or just because it was him, the useless soldier. He certainly wasn't doing anyone any good.
There was a tiny sniffle. "I know it's not perfect. I know it'll be harder, they'll come for me as a traitor, I know all that, but at least I won't have to...to drain people, or take starseeds, and I won't be under that ******** b***h Schörl's thumb anymore because I'll be free." He sniffed again. "And I can't Ascend if I'm not corrupted."
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2015 12:04 pm
Jaysen scowled but did little more then growl as Alex climbed on her and got comfortable.
"Allegiance or not, most see us as nothing more then manual labor. In all honesty, I would not be surprised if someone tried something on us someday." Jaysen would let Alex fill in the blanks himself. "Just because you purify, doesn't mean it will be any easier. Just remember that."
"You could just.... Not ascend." She said flatly. "It's not like we're predestined to do it if we become a corrupt. They can't force it on you. Does it look like I have any plans to do it? Hell no."
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2015 11:26 pm
Alex reached up to play with the ends of her hair, an idle action of physical affection that once would have been absolutely normal for him, but which had been lacking for a long time.
"Schörl threatened it," he said softly, "that if I didn't shape up she would experiment on me. See if she could get me to stick with a youma." It sounded awful. "I dunno, Jaybird. It might not be easier, but it would be better. Do you really want to serve the Negaverse until it eats you up?"
He exhaled. "I don't know why I did it. I could...I don't know, end up in whatever dark place I was in then again, and..." He shook his head. "I want to get out. But I can't. I mean, who the hell is going to help me?" Never mind that people had offered, because when push came to shove they would forget, or drop their promises. He wasn't the sort of person people helped like that.
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2015 11:37 pm
Jay scowled as he watched his fingers play with her hair, yet she did not pull away.
The blonde rolled her eyes and waved her hand with a scowl. "Then she is an idiot and how she ever made it to the rank of general is beyond me. The youma hate us. If she thinks there is a way to bond and create a half then she is sorely mistaken. If she expects to create a whole... Well then she misses the point of 'sticking with' because at that point you have an imbecile bug who doesn't know how to think beyond starseeds, and should probably be crushed since it's not worth anyone's time."
"You ascended for reasons that have yet to happen. You know what these reasons are and you're smart enough not to make them a second time around Alex. Even if you stayed, you wouldn't revert back to that. In this timeline, you haven't become that. Who is to say you will." She leveled him with a flat stare at his last comment. She vaguely wondered if she had to point it out to him. Probably, he was quite the oblivious dumbass... "They would sooner help you then the likes of me. We both know that."Noir Songbird Lellouch's literal reaction. 
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Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2015 1:57 am
Alex shrugged. "I don't think she cared much what came out," he said, "or maybe she didn't mean it. But I should have taken that, let her do it - I don't want to corrupt someone," he said, and his voice broke, a little. He curled tighter into her, and his hands dropped from her hair, so he could wrap his arms around himself instead.
"Who's to say I won't?" He asked, quietly. "I mena, I don't want to, but I..." He stopped, exhaled. "If I don't become that, then something else. A youma, or someone so broken down I don't care anymore." He shook his head. "I'm sure if you reached out - I could help you, maybe, point you to the right people. I'm sure they'll help you. You're better than me."
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Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2015 9:09 pm
"If you chose that option, then you would have turned out to be the murder you fear. The Youma are no better. Were the Negaverse see Senshi and Knights as potential recruits, Youma see them as nothing more than a food source. I can't imagine you'd prefer that option, if presented with it again. It's not worth it. Full or Half." She'd seen both. "Those who think they can handle it are fooling themselves." But then again, she had always thought most people in the Negaverse were idiots. Save for one or two people.
"Do you think someone wouldn't stop you? What of..." Damn. The name escaped her. "That... guy you crush on who has a boyfriend or whatever?" Jaysen waved a hand absently. "...Do you think that little of me that you think I'd let you do that all over again? Did you forget already, that we were together during those times? You act as you alone did those things. I remember how you were, how you acted, what you thought and the pet you kept. Friendly reminder you didn't go through that alone." Jaysen scowled, with half a mind to shove him off her. "I believe you said that pet was the same one you crush on? I doubt he would want to see you like that."
"Reached out to who Alex? I have only bothered learning a handful of people on the side of order, and most of them are just as imbecilic in their ways as those here. The right people for you do not make them the right people for me." The blonde scoffed, propping an arm up and resting her head on it. "I sold out my brother to Wolframite in hopes of getting him killed, and you've seen what I was rewarded with because of it. You know of what I did in those dreams. If anything, it is you who is better than me."
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 12:46 am
He swallowed. She was right - he didn't really want to become some kind of horrible, twisted creature. But it was still hard to imagine that he was going to end up hurting someone - corrupting them - making them the thing he was, the thing he hated so much - just to save his own skin.
He inhaled sharply. It wasn't fair of her, to invoke Des like that. Because it was true - neither of them would let him slide, if they could help it. "I..." He swallowed. "I just. I'm not strong enough." He locked his eyes on hers. "Promise me you won't let me become that again." He would pull the same promise out of Des, too. Because he could trust both of them, even if there was no way he could trust himself. "I need you to promise me."
He wiggle,d a little, to get more comfortable in her lap. "They'll help you." He said, with absolute surety. "The Knight who's been helping me - I murdered her as an Ascendant. Sucked her dry of energy. She knows exactly what I became. She won't judge you for what you haven't done yet. She might not even judge you for what you have done. And I mean - your brother survived, didn't he? They all made it out of that warehouse."
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2015 8:16 pm
"That's what your friends or allies are for aren't they? To be strong when you can't?" The blonde shrugged as best she could with their seating arrangement. She scowled though, her eyes narrowing. "I will not repeat myself Alex. If you think that little of me, then that is your own problem. Not mine."
Then the little s**t was back to trying to bring her over to the side of Order.
"You'd think they'd help me." She mumbled, grunting as he elbowed her in the stomach. A roll of her eyes accompanied his talk of his 'future' ascension. What she hadn't done... What she had done. "On top of trying to get my brother killed in the past, in the future I killed both Persephone and Leto." A fluke by her guess, but one that happened all the same. "Leto watched as I ripped that brat's seed out of her chest, crushed it and then ate the dust residue right in front of her. After that, I killed Tantalus." On top of a few other things that weren't worth mentioning. "My brother survived because Wolframite's 'idea' turned out to be flawed. My brother survived because Zinkenite showed his smug face. Do not remind me that he survived." She hissed. "We both know I am not fit for either side. So where I am makes no difference in the end."
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![[Mistress Morbid]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/3e/dd/5052589139dd3e_flip.png?t=1545372613_6.00_11)
