With the festival right around the corner, and everyone bustling around her preparing Kani was quite put off by everything. She had been trying to avoid the hustle and bustle of everything for days, and had even kept to the shore in hopes of staying away from all of the events. Even so, more and more Matori had even managed to make their way to the shore trying to set up small things for Ubeli'ae of course. No matter which way she turned there was some sort of festival set up going on. It was enough to drive her mad! So when her father came to her with a request she all but jumped at the chance to escape the busy village. His request hadn't exactly been what she had in mind, but it was better than putting up decorations to say the least. She was supposed to go meet the village shaman in her hut outside of town. She was to bring her some supplies she was meant to bless for one of the rituals at the festival. Why her father couldn't take it to her while he was out, she hadn't a clue, but now it was her job to do and she would do it quickly. The hut where this woman lived was quite a good way out from the village, so much so that Kani felt the need to pack a lunch before she headed out.
She'd never met the shaman woman before. She'd never had a need to really. Now that she was headed out to her, she really didn't know what to expect. Shamans dealt with elements....or so she thought. She wasn't really sure what they did, but their shaman was powerful. Or so her father had explained. The hut she lived in didn't scream all powerful shaman though. It was pretty run down to be honest. Boards were missing out of the roof, the sand had practically covered the steps, and she swore there was a hoard of Alol nestled in her window. What sort of person could let their home get this way? It was not responsible whatsoever! Yet she was supposed to be some wise woman of the village? Hardly the case based off of this nonsense. She was appalled by it all, and she would have to go inside that place. It looked like it was being barely held together. Sighing, Kani made an attempt to smile as she went to knock on the door. Before she could even do that though, the door swung open and a Zanteer peaked out of it!
What sort of strange place is this??
"Uhm....hello? Is there anyone in here? Anyone at all besides this large furry monster?"
"Well of course there is! There's the Alol and this old kook too!" Kani nearly screeched at the sudden appearance of the old woman beside her. How had she even gotten there so fast? Without even making a sound either! She was a bit chubby and definitely withered in her old age. She seemed to have lost a bit of her eyesight in her right eye, but other than that she still looked to be aware of everything around her.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, miss. I came to drop off the items that needed your blessing for the festival," she explained, holding the items out to her. She was ready to drop them off and be done with it. No more festival nonsense for her. She was going to head home and hunt for shells or spend time with her brother. The woman took them from her and quickly placed them down on a table behind her before turning back to her. She was honestly surprised the woman could even move that fast in her old age.
"Now then, you don't like the festivals. Why not?" Kani opened her mouth to say something and then closed it again. How had she even known about it? Had someone come and told her about it? Why would they do? What were they trying to achieve by doing so?
"I do like the festivals." The old woman's face shriveled up as she frowned and shook her head, making Kani a little nervous. Had this been some sort of test or was she going to tell her father? Surely he wouldn't do anything like that.
"Girly there's no need to lie to old Aza. The earth tells me everything I need to know. Like how you hate the festivals even though you have so much promise." Okay this lady was really off her rocker. Earth talking to her? Telling her she had promise and something of the sort? She wasn't exactly sure if she could believe that or not. Shamans were supposedly all about the elements, but talking to them? Was that even possible?
"I'm not really sure if I believe all that or not. My father just sent me here to drop off the items. Nothing more."
"Oh hush girly. Why do you think you always feel calm by the ocean? Or how was it so easy for you to find me?"
"Because I followed the path?" Kani questioned, clearly confused by the old woman now. She was starting to really sound like a mad woman.
"Wrong! It's because the elements thought you were worthy! I have wards placed all over this home. If you aren't worthy you cannot enter. Simple as that. I've been sensing you for quite some time girly and was the one who got your father to get you out her. Now that you're here you've passed the test!"
"Test? What test?" The young Matori girl was incredibly concerned now. She didn't need any test to pass. She didn't want to do anything other than worry about her family.
"To become my apprentice of course. You've passed so now your training officially starts!" Oh no, no, no. She didn't want to be a kooky shaman like this lady. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever!
"I'm very sorry but I think I will have to pass on your offer, miss. All I wanted was to deliver these items and go back home." No shaman life for her.
"Are you really going to let your father and brother down by declining? It really is a great honor and they'd be oh so proud of you." Oh this lady was a shifty one! Going after exactly what she knew her weakness was.
"It is my duty to help and it's what my parents would want," she sighed, knowing she had been roped into this one way or another. It looked like her life as a shaman was set into stone whether she wanted it to be or not.
Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2015 12:30 pm
Kani
Solo: Shaman Training 101
Word Count: 1,120
"You have to focus, girly! How are you ever going to work the elements with an awful form like that?" Aza shouted, smacking the back of her leg with a cane.
They had been going over and over again for hours. She was tired and just wanted to go home. She had been conned into this as it was, and the old lady was ruthless in reminding her. She wasn't allowed to rest for more than a second before the batty woman was throwing sand at her and sending her Zanteer to knock her over. The evil furry beast of a thing she was. Nevermind the fact that Aza was always ranting. You had to respect the elements to use them and learn to work with them. Meditation was ke yand all that rubish. She had tried everything she had said and still nothing. There was no sudden spark of magic, no working of the elements. She couldn't even manage a simple spell at the moment. What she had saw in her she would never know. She wasn't some grand magic worker. She was just plain old seashell hunting Kani. Nothing special or important about her other than the fact that she was decent at caring for her family. What Aza really needed was a super powerful apprentice who was good at practicing and studying. Perhaps someone who had been in Matori their whole life. Or even just someone who cared more. Anyone but her would be amazing. Perhaps she could even ask around and see if anyone was interested.
"Don't you go thinkin' you can find someone else to take ya place! I want you as my apprentice and no one else you stubborn girl! No one is gon' change my mind about it either, ya hear?" Aza chided, bringing her out of her thoughts. Kani sighed softly and brushed a hand slowly through her hair. The old lady was a mind reader or something. That was the only logical explanation as to how she could figure out just what she was planning. Maybe it was her mystical shaman powers that let her do it. It was a good guess at least. Then again it could just be the fact that she was old and knew lots of things from experience.
"It's not like I am any good at this, Aza! We've been trying for weeks to get some sort of magical whatever it is out of me, and there has been no luck! I'm not cut out to do this sort of thing. I'm meant to stay home and help my family. Not become some great mysterious shaman or whatever it is. You made a mistake picking me and we just both need to come to terms with the fact that neither of us can work well enough with the other to have this whole thing work. Just go on and find some other willing Matori to be your apprentice. I'm sure there are plenty around who would absolutely love it," Kani finally shouted at the woman as she became fed up with the whole ordeal. It was a rare occurrence for Kani to lose her calm, but this woman knew how to push all the right buttons to rile her up. It wasn't her fault she didn't have the ability to do what the old lady wanted.
"Now you listen to me, girly. I chose you because I know you have the potential. Not because I think you have it, but because I know you do. You may not see it but you have such a strong potential for this work. You just have to work at it and stop giving up so easily, child. Just try meditating again. One more time without thinking or stressing about it. Clear your head of everything but the sound of my voice," Aza told her, looking at her expectantly. Fine, fine. She would do what she wanted if only to get out after she attempted it again. All this earth listening and wind talking wasn't her thing, but she would do whatever it took to get out of there faster. She had errands to run for her father, and she hadn't been able to see her brother in days because of all the training.
Closing her eyes, Kani tried to clear her thoughts of all the anger and insecurities she felt normally. It was a hard thing to do, especially under these circumstances. Her mind was always active with the things she couldn't bring herself to say out loud. Trying to clear that all out meant attempting to truly be calm for once and just stop everything. No stressing about her family, no worrying about the festival, just focusing on herself and not bothering with anything else like she usually did. Slowly she began to relax little by little until she could almost feel herself drifting off. It was an odd weightless feeling and she could vaguely sense Aza inching closer to her as she sat there.
"Am I supposed to be doing or feeling anything?" Kani asked softly, her voice nothing more than a whisper at this point. She felt like speaking any louder would break whatever it was she was potentially trying to do. Aza grabbed her hands suddenly, causing Kani to nearly open her eyes.
"You have to take small steps to accomplish anything. You aren't going to be able to summon a lightning storm or call the wind to your aid right from the start, dear one. It takes time and it takes dedication. You may have the potential, but you still have to want it. You have to put in the effort and willingly accept what you're doing. Don't do it for your family, even if I know that's really what you're focusing on right now. Do it for yourself."
Do it for herself? She'd never really done anything for herself. She was always running and doing things for everyone else. She'd never had a chance to think about what she wanted. As much as she hated to admit it, since starting her training she had really started to enjoy being able to do something no one else could. She didn't have to help anyone. It was her fault if she passed or failed.
"Now look there, you stop worrying for one second and you're already better, ya?" Aza commented, making Kani open her eyes. There in her hands sat a small little orb of water, barely the size of a small coin.
"I did that?"
"I told you that you had the talent, girly. You just have to stop doubting yourself." Perhaps continuing training on her own terms wouldn't be so bad after all.
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Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2015 11:45 am
Kani
Quote:
Beliefs and Values Prompt 3
Solo or RP Format Can be used toward Solo or RP req
Summer was drawing closer and closer and the different villages around Tendaji were beginning to plan their summer festivals. It was a tradition in Tendaji - to celebrate the Gods every year in the summer when spirits were high and food was at its most abundant.
All the races had their own gods to celebrate, whatever those might have been, and every person had their own feelings one way or the other.
What did they mean to you? With the summer fast approaching, it must be somewhere (no matter how small) on everyone’s thoughts. And what are your thoughts on the other culture’s gods?
Water: The people of Matori, due to their close though rather forced relationship with Oba, believe in the same pantheon of Gods and Goddesses as their former enslavers, though a few of the names seem to have shifted and evolved. There is always a different name to pray to depending on the situation at hand. The major players in their pantheon include: Nessat - King of Gods, god of judgement (Oba: Nerad) Ome Essd - Queen of Gods, goddess of life and death (Oba: Essd) Drach’ti - God of storms and rain (Oba: Drach) On’os - God of time and fortune Len - Goddess of fishing and feasts (Oba: Lenoxe) Kiyom - God of wood and lumber Hatald - Goddess of fertility, marriage, and women Jonal - God of men and war Ubeli’ae - Godess of the moon and ocean (Oba: Ubeli) Atun - God of the sun, forging fires, and desert
Word Count: 770
It was close to the time of all the festivals, and honestly Kani wasn't too pleased about it. Festivals meant loud events and crowds of people around the villages, especially in the taverns to celebrate. She didn't like festivals, especially since they reminded her of when they were still under Oban control. With their gods and goddesses practically being the same, it was hard to find faith in them when they were so similar to the gods of her oppressors. It was something she struggled with even after escaping. She couldn't find her faith in anything, not in the gods and not in people themselves. While others celebrated and prepared for the inevitable coming of the festival spirit, Kani would have no part in it unless her father requested it. The gods had done them no favors after all. They hadn't been there when they had been taken away to be slaves, nor had they been there to help them when her mother was being sought after by an Oban noble. Why worship them when they let her mother die because of the same oppressors that worshiped them? No, the gods were not there to help them, especially when they needed them the most. They were there for the Obans, the true worshipers. She was sure her father would request she be a part of the festivals though. Even with everything that had happened he was still a staunch believer in the gods and goddesses. Even though they had failed him as well. Throwing a fit would do nothing to change what was happening much to her displeasure. She would have to accept whatever her father suggested she do. For them to benefit as a family instead of just her wishes.
"I'm so sick of this. I don't care about the festivals. I don't care about anything besides my family," she sighed, frustrated at the entire situation. Ever since her mother had passed she had lost faith and hope in everything. She went about life in an odd sort of haze, the only time it changing when she met others outside of her family. Even then they always left and it was back to the same routine. She couldn't seem to bring herself out of the rut she was stuck in, and it was slowly draining her of the will to do anything. Could her lack of faith and hope really be draining her so much? Sure, she never got out much and stuck to just doing what her father asked her to for the most part, but it couldn't affect her that bad. At least she didn't think it could.
Her father had told her once that her mother had been a very firm worshiper of Ubeli’ae. It figured as much, seeing how her mother and her were so similar. Kani always felt calm and happier when she was by the ocean, maybe it was because her mother was looking out for her there. She could hope at least. She missed her mother so much, and hadn't prayed or been to the small grave they had made for her since they'd gotten back. What reason was there? She wasn't actually there. They'd never found her body and they hadn't been able to because of how they rushed them out of Oba. All that had been left of her mother was the necklace representing Ubeli’ae. Looked like it hadn't helped her out any. Maybe if she had pretended to be an Oban and prayed to their version of Ubeli’ae, Ubeli she thought it was, the goddess would have helped her out. As it was she had seen no help from the pantheon since then either. All was quiet and she highly doubted they would come to their aid even if they asked for it during their festival.
Even with her sour outlook to the gods and goddesses she would still get roped into doing things and helping to prepare. All her father would have to do is ask and she would gladly do it for him. If not for him than for Arthanon. It would really be his first time getting to participate in a festival he was old enough to remember. Her lack of faith wouldn't get in the way of her brother having a good time. She would see to that. She would put aside her own shortcomings in order for him to have a good time. That was what a big sister was supposed to do. That was what she always did. She'd pretend to accept the gods if only to do what was expected of her.
Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 12:08 pm
Kani
Solo: Getting Stronger
Word Count: 345
While Kani hadn't wanted Gael to leave to Oba without her, she knew it was something he had to do. It was for his family of course, and she couldn't blame him for wanting to go and do what he thought was best for them. It didn't mean she had to like it though. He was always going off without her and working hard to improve himself while she stood around and did nothing, or so it seemed. It was enough to drive her mad, and with all the other stresses in her life she didn't need to be worrying about this too. He would be fine and he would come back and she would prove that she could travel with him. Maybe then he wouldn't keep leaving her behind. To prove that though she had to get stronger. She had to work for it. She couldn't stand idly by while he continued to grow. It was her turn to grow too. It was why she was back with Old Lady Aza now. She hadn't bothered with training for a good while, not after everything that had happened with the Alkidike, but now here she was. Of course the old woman had everything to say about her coming back, but after a bit she settled down and the really improving began. If she didn't know any better she would think the old woman was trying to kill her. Day after day she worked, from sunrise to sunset. Her father and brother both voiced their worry over how hard she was pushing herself, even going so far as to attempt to stop her from leaving a time or two. She could see the worry clear on their faces, but every time she had told them the same thing. She was doing this to better herself and plan for her adventure to come. Without it she would be unprepared and unable to do anything. They just had to understand that she was determined in her hunt to find Gael, no matter what it took out of her.
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2016 10:26 pm
Kani
Solo: Ultimatum
Word Count: 1,218
There was something going on here. Kani could feel it. Both her father and brother were at the door blocking her from leaving, and honestly it was a little disconcerting. She hadn't seen them for more than a few moments at a time, and now here they both were looking ready for a fight. She did not have time for any of this. They knew it and yet they refused to budge in any sort of way. It seemed even Zoryn was on their side as he hid away from everyone. Great help he was after everything. Her father was the first to step forward then, hands coming to rest on her shoulders. She feared he was about to drop some horrible news on her, or threaten her if she didn't stop training. He had to know by now that she was doing it for a greater purpose than just herself. She had to work hard to prove that she was worth something and could go save Gael! There was no time for all of this nonsense.
"Look father, whatever it is it will have to-" He held up his hand then, cutting her off from speaking more. Well that was rude. He looked her over for a moment, his eyes stern and void of any sort of hint as to what this was all about. Her brother simply stood behind him, looking like a small version of him. When had he gotten so tall? Looking at him now she realized her once little brother was catching up in height to her. Soon she was sure he would even surpass her. Had she really been missing out on so much? The thought pained her a bit, but she couldn't focus on that now. There was nothing to be gained by worrying about it at the moment. Clearing his throat, her father forced her attention back on him before he spoke.
"We need to talk, Kani." Well she assumed that one was obvious. Why else would she have been stopped by them? She would play their game though and listen to what they had to say. She could do it for a small amount of time at least until she was ready to head back out and work with Aza or by herself again.
"Okay, what is it we need to talk about?" he motioned for her to sit down then, taking a seat himself across from the chair. Was this some sort of interrogation or intervention? It was a bit uncomfortable in all honesty.
"We're worried about you. You aren't eating that much. We barely see you. What exactly is going on? We miss you," he started to explain, concern lacing his every word. A nod from her brother made her question the words she wanted to say. She knew it wasn't the best situation to be in, but it was the situation she had to see through to the end.
"I miss me. Do you think I like doing this? It is something I have to do. If not I'll never be able to prove I'm good enough. I have to get stronger and make sure I don't fail ever again." It was the first time she had admitted what was really going on, and it scared her. The whole reason she had started on this wild training spree was to go to Oba in search of Gael, but if she was being honest with herself it was more than that. It was the struggle of bringing herself back from the fight with the extremist. It was every mistake she made. One way or another she had to work past it, and she had decided to do so by training until she dropped. It was all she could focus on. If she stopped training for even a second she fell back into the slump she had been in before Gael had left. While before it was a bit easier to deal with while he was around, now that he was gone her voice of reason disappeared as well. She was alone in her struggle, or so it seemed, and the only way to distract herself from it was to keep working in a ridiculous attempt to better herself. She didn't know if it was working or not. She felt physically stronger, but as far as everything else went she didn't think she was any better. All she had was the urge to work harder, get better.
"Before you go on about how you have to do this, perhaps you should think about why you're doing it in the first place. Are you doing this to save your friend? Or are you doing this to ignore whatever it is that's got you acting in such a way? Until you can figure that out you'll keep going on this path. It's not like you Kani, and frankly I'm concerned. I miss my sweet child. I miss the girl who grudgingly helped people, but even so knew exactly who she was. All I see now is a lost girl with no concern for her wellbeing. I want you to take a long look inside yourself and figure out just what you want to accomplish and where you want to go from here. Once you can do that and tell me why exactly you want to go to Oba I will allow you to leave. If you can't do that then I will just have to keep you here." She felt enraged at this, more so than really necessary. How dare he make such a ridiculous statement! Like he could keep her as his captive. She may be his daughter, but she was an adult now. She could do whatever she wanted. As if he expected her anger, he simply continued speaking and pretended to not notice it. Her brother on the other hand sat uncomfortably next to him, eyes shifting back and forth between the two of them.
"You may be an adult now, Kani, but I am still your father and I do know that your teacher would back me up on this as well. Whether you like it or not you are going to have to have some serious self reflection before anyone lets you out of their sights. The entire village is worried for your health and here you are only concerned about getting stronger. Can't you see what all of this is doing to you? Can't you see how sick and withered you look right now?" Kani hadn't really expected that response, but thinking on it she hadn't bothered to look at her reflection or deal with anyone in quite some time other than in passing. She had even been foregoing Old Lady Aza's place in exchange for her own rigorous training. She had just wanted so desperately to catch up to everyone and prove herself, or so she had thought. She was confused and afraid now, worried that she had been doing everything for the wrong reason. She couldn't have these doubts right now. There was too much at stake. If there was something wrong with her she needed to figure it out. Slipping up and making a mistake now would be unforgivable.
"I will....think about what you have said. I can promise that much."
Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2016 7:38 pm
Kani
Solo: Revelations
Word Count: 1,334
Ever since the discussion with her father Kani had been struggling. Struggling to work, struggling to even think about what she was doing. Everything she had thought she believed in had been shattered by what he had said and now she wasn't even sure she was ready to set out for Oba. It had been all she had been working for, but was she doing it for the right reasons? It had been on her mind more than anything else, and she felt as if she were drowning in her doubts. They were always there threatening to pull her under and she was continuously having to fight to pull herself above the water before it was too late. Her father and brother hadn't stopped to speak to her or give her any thoughts on her choices since that day, and that alone was stressful enough. On top of her other problems it just felt like too much. She couldn't do this. She needed to figure out everything. Find her center or whatever it was that Aza kept trying to tell her. Even that sounded ridiculous to her. Why should she find her center when the real thing she should be finding was Gael? She knew this, but even still she couldn't ignore that there was some truth to what everyone was saying. She hadn't been eating much lately, she'd been doing nothing but training. Even now she had been so focused on what she was doing that she hadn't realized she'd missed out on so much. Her brother in particular pained her. He was getting so tall now, and it seemed like he was aging quickly over all. She didn't think it had been that long since she'd interacted with him, but they were practically strangers to each other now.
"You're still having problems, huh girl?" The voice was familiar, and if Kani was being honest with herself it was also very unwelcome at the moment. She didn't want to hear her teacher scold her for not being a proper shaman, on top of how she was wasting her talent. She knew these things. She knew she needed to get better. She didn't need to have a constant reminder about how much of a failure she was being. She waited for the scolding to begin, but Aza didn't start. She just looked at her expectantly and waited for her to say something instead. She wasn't sure what she was expecting her to say about it. She already knew just what as going on with her. She didn't think that would need explaining. Yet she continued to stand there waiting for her to speak.
"I uh...yeah I guess so. If you call training and trying to make my way to Oba a problem," Kani replied, lying about what she was talking about. Better to veil confusion than to admit she had a problem. Admitting she had a problem meant that she would have to deal with it at some point or another. Aza did not seem to want to have that though, and stepped even closer to her in order to level her fierce old gaze on her.
"Don't you go around giving me lip, girlie. I know you are having problems and I am here to help you with it whether you like it or not. At the request of your father and brother of course," she cackled, grabbing her by the arm. The sudden contact caused her to flinch away, but before she could really reject to the matter Aza had began to drag her away to who knew where. She assumed she would be taking her to her hut, but that was in the exact opposite direction of where they were headed. She thought about asking her, but the look on the old woman's face made her decided against it.
"Now then," Aza finally spoke, coming to a stop beside the water. It was in a secluded area, but it still just seemed like any old spot to her. She half wondered if the woman was going mad. "I want you to sit there and think about what you're doing. Why you're doing it. I've tried every other option with you girlie, but this time I'm not playing nice. Sit there and find yourself or don't come back seeking my training. I won't give it to you. Not like you are now. You're hurting more than yourself, you know, and we're worried about you."
The panic that set in at her words made Kani abruptly sit down. How was she hurting others? This was the first time since everything had went down that she had really tried to think. Really the first thing she could think of was how her brother had looked at her. She knew they had grown distant, but he had acted like she was some foreign being and not his big sister. Then there was her father. He hadn't looked disappointed in her at all, he never did, but there was something about how he had looked at her that had caused her to worry. They were all acting like she was someone else, and she wasn't. She was still just plain Kani. She just....she knew why she was acting the way she did. She had wanted so badly to prove herself before during the extremist attack, had even sided with the Obans against her better judgement, and all it had gotten her was a scar and hurt pride. She hadn't been ready, and wasn't sure if she ever would be. That thought had been what had been haunting her the whole time. Then Gael had disappeared and her support pillar had crumbled. She'd been left alone again, and by herself she was nothing. Just a sad Matori with weak powers. She didn't want to be that way. She wanted to be able to talk to her family and be someone people could rely on. She was tired of thinking she had failed everyone and could help no one.
"You look like you're starting to get an idea, girlie," Aza said, sitting beside her.
"Yes. I think I am. Uh...thank you." She didn't know how to word it, maybe Aza had done some strange magic to help, but suddenly she did feel a bit better. She wasn't magically cured, but her head felt a bit clearer. "I need to make myself better. Not how I was trying to before. I just, maybe if I travel. Maybe if I get out of Matori and see the rest of Tendaji I can figure it out."
"Sulking here definitely won't help you. I could have told you that. Now that you have yourself a plan though, you best stick to it. I don't want you coming back and trying to fall back into the same old sadness."
No, she refused to go back to being that way. She wasn't ever going to go back to how she was working before. She of course still wanted to find Gael. That hadn't changed, but now she was doing it for herself. She would go to Oba and prove to not only him, but her family and teacher as well that she could handle herself and was stronger than she looked. She wouldn't let herself get pulled back into the slump she had been in for so long. She was going to help herself and do what she wanted to do no matter how hard she had to fight for it. Nothing was going to stop her other than her own doubt, and she would fight it as hard as she possibly could. It was not going to get the best of her this time. She would make sure of that. After months of feeling like she was drowning in her doubt and fear, she felt like she could finally begin to pull her head above the water and stay afloat. Now was the time for change and she welcomed it with open arms.
Quote:
Ever since the war with the Extremist, Kani has been in a slump of depression and unable to focus on anything but that. With Gael's disappearance she began to hyper focus on it in hopes of pushing herself out of the depression and make herself a capable being again, but in fact only made it worse by isolating herself from everyone else she cared about. With this she has to come to terms with what she's being doing and how she's been feeling, and finally decides to leave Matori for herself and her own growth rather than stay and continue on in her current state.
