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 Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 2:08 pm
"It matters because it ******** matters." Rep said. "Because all women are ******** sneaky, they aren't like you or me, they aren't straight-shooting guys. Its all ******** hormones and stuff, they are just like.." he patted his chest. "Evil right deep down. They say one thing, always mean another. Before they taste sex they are like, less dangerous, they are dependent on their daddies, and then once they taste sex that changes and every ******** guy becomes their daddy." he snorted. "Except nae c**t is ever good enough for them, you'll never be that ideal male. They'll leave or they'll cheat. They aren't worth the time. Their amount of sex is their threat level."
He sauntered over to the fridge, opening it and taking out a fudge yoghurt for himself and tucking into it. "A b***h who has had a ******** queue of dicks up her is getting manic, getting real ******** dangerous in that hunt for the ideal man, you'll be a ******** check mark, they'll chew you up and spit you out."
"Guys are easier, way ******** easier." he said. "Most of them mean what they say, we have priorities like ********' pudding and if we are going to come back from a ******** mission. And even the most ravenous whore can't give head like someone with an actual c**k." he shrugged.
"And I dunno what I expected. More seductive maybe. Its a ******** pudding of tears."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 2:16 pm
What was worse now. That Otto was hearing Rep out, and actually believing him? It all sounded valid. Women were strange, he gave him that. He was never certain what they really wanted, or what they really meant. Nothing was plain or honest. Secrets, and words that said one thing or meant another.
Rationally, he knew Rep was delusional and off base. But then again, sometimes those delusions made perfect sense. Otto wasn't convinced it had much to do with sex, but he did feel like girls were a lot more trouble than they were worth, sometimes.
Otto dipped his head down. "Women ain't the only ones who cheat, yanno." Or leave. "Guys do it all the time." He wished he wasn't talking about himself. He knew guys were the usual perpetrators from what media told him. But now he was one of them.
He gave Rep a sassy eyebrow raised high. "I ain't gunna eat my food seductively for you. For a lot of reasons."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 2:41 pm
"Guys can't cheat on women." Rep said sternly. "When a guy sleeps around he's just being a guy. Unless he's made a promise to another guy, in that case you are bound cause we have to mean our word even when the bitches don't."
He gave Otto a grave look, staring in a wild, dangerous sort of way, spoon half way to his mouth. "Actual cheating is completely unforgivable and deserves nothing more than death." The yoghurt was devoured with malice.
He frowned. "But why the ******** not? I think you'd be good at it, I'm like surely you are a minx in the sack, it can't all be ******** bitches wanting to mother you or they'd get bored. I mean I know they can't have babies here but seriously."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 2:54 pm
"That doesn't make sense." Otto deadpanned with a dry tone. "A girl can't fool around cause she's a girl. But dudes can? What exactly does cheating mean to you, anyway?" Why did guys get off so easy to Rep? Obviously the man was scorned something awful in his past.
Still, once again, he compared it all to his own situation. He recalled light flirting done by his girls on Twitter, and he'd always despised it. It was rare, though, and not something he could hold against them. Really he could only think of one time it happened while they were together, but his own memory was always shaky and unreliable.
He swallowed hard though. "By death? That's a bit much over sex." He gave the man a hard stare despite his nerves stirring uncomfortably within.
He tried not to dwell on the fact Rep seemed convinced Otto was good in bed. "I really don't know what to tell ya." He murmured, sliding the empty pudding container down. "I don't flirt. I don't do seductive anything. Pretty sure the girls who dig me are funny in the head in the first place."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 3:10 pm
"No one said bitches can't ******** around, they will anyway no matter what. Its just in their nature. Its like those birds that like, ******** a whole bunch of male birds so they'll have a bunch of ********' morons to feed their babies, all of them hoping that the chicks are theirs. It's in a bitches' interest to ******** what she can where she can. Its just what they ******** do, even when you think they are devoted they'll be out feeling out for an upgrade all the while doing what they can to keep you neutered and enslaved." he snorted. "Guys sleep around because they've figured that ******** game out. The smart guys like me learned you could just ******** all of those bitches and give them nothing back, they could never cheat on me because they never had me, and if I ever managed to knock any of them up I'll never know, some other guy, some sucker would be the one raising those brats."
He licked the pot and left it on the counter, seeming not to think even for a second to put it in the bin. "Its the way s**t works. But when its two guys its like. Its tighter. Its like those male lions who work together to gather a pride and defend each other no matter what. Its tight, its locked, its a million times better. And there's none of the ******** unreasonable expectations." He pointedly looked over the room which was despite the mess wall to wall mancave.
"But naw, death isn't too much. You are doing people a favour if you kill them over that s**t. Cause like." he smirked. "They are broken. They are ******** in the head. The kind of men who cheat no matter what are the kind of ******** who don't care what they do, what they hurt. Half the time they are ******** like, pillaging people's lives all day every day, nothing is out of bounds there are no morals. They are a ******** wildfire that needs to be put out by force." And it was clear by the severity of his tone he meant this in a personal and absolute way.
He only softened when he went on. "They just saw you were an easy mark, any c**t can see you are a hard shell round a soft and gooey centre. You had a ******** bullseye painted on you, they smelled your weakness and you took the path of least resistance into a pair of ******** v****a dentata that will one day tear you right in ******** two."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 3:18 pm
Otto's gaze went a bit fuzzy as he listened to Rep. It was nothing new. He'd read these views before. The man spoke as if this was all biology and credible facts. He hardly believed two guys as a pair was in any way superior.
"So what if it was a guy who had himself a girl, but cheated on her with a dude? By your standards of men being so ********' superior, is that cheating?" He asked cautiously, coming off as irritated, but honestly, he was a little scared. As if there was Death awaiting him depending on the answer. He didn't want to be broken, but maybe it was true. Maybe Otto was beyond saving, and needed to be stopped before he truly harmed Maebe and Cami with his selfish whims. His sick, selfish whims.
"So... you think Maebe and Cami will ******** me over in the end." Maebe was an easy target, but what of Cami?
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 3:33 pm
"Naw it wouldn't be cheating. But they'd need to ******** mean it with the guy, if it was just some one night thing then it is cheating cause its just sex. Its just meaningless unattached sex and that is always ******** cheating, its cheating the supposed relationship and its cheating yourself. If sex is that ******** important that anything can like, make it more important than the relationship, its not a relationship." Rep's views didn't have to hang together, he seemed completely oblivious to any gaps and overlap in what he said. "If you can't tell this s**t already maybe you are ******** in the head, I know you are young but seriously its just ******** instinct, it's the truth of s**t."
He nodded though. "They will ******** you over in the end. I mean haven't you been ******** over before? I guess you need it to happen a few more times before you get it. I got an accelerated front row view of it in my life. All the men that came to ******** my mum had stories about their bitches ******** them over and then later I had to deal with ******** SO MANY bitches who would have ******** me over and tried. But no one can do s**t for you, you'll need to find it out yourself. Maybe one day they'll rip that soft gooey inside out of you and all that will be left is just a hollow shell of sexuality going through the ******** motions and hating himself more and more every single ******** day."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 3:47 pm
It was stupid to hope he hadn't done anything wrong. Even Rep knew what he'd done was evil, and he was a nutcase. Otto silently nodded, feeling a grave feeling of doom sit and rot in his gut. Really, it didn't matter if it had been more than a one night stand anyway. Cheating was cheating, especially seeing as he kept on hanging around the guy he'd done it with.
"No, ain't gotten ******** over.... well..." Otto leaned back a bit. "First girlfriend left me, but I was kind of an a**. So really it was on me." Second was Eva, and she'd treated him the same as every other hunter on the island rather than a boyfriend. Then was Nevada, but she sort of.... And now Maebe and Cami. "Wow that's a lot of girls.." He murmured, scratching his head. To Otto, that was a lot of girls. He kind of felt like the whore Rep always talked about, even if he didn't sleep with all of them.
"Whatever. According to you, everything is damned depressing and everyone is out to get you. I ain't gotta listen to this."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 3:53 pm
"Don't listen then." Rep said, shrugging his shoulders and moving away, as if washing his hands of Otto. "If you want someone who is going to blow sunshine up your a** then go find someone else, you've got plenty of people queueing up to do just that."
He swigged from a carton of expired milk, make a face and put it back. "Everything is depressing and everyone is out to get us. Never let yourself think ******** otherwise. But its no depressing. Its just a ******** challenge, its a state of mind, you keep your guard up, you don't get hurt. If it depresses you you are too soft and one day it'll come crashing down on you and that will be the ******** end."
He smirked. "For a guy calling me depressing you seem to have your s**t in a hell of a knot."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 4:02 pm
Otto sulked. Maybe he really did prefer the lies and the hope of solid reality.
"You got no idea." He muttered back. A knot was an understatement. His life was currently a state of emergency. Or a car wrapped around a telephone pole. Or like being trapped in a room slowly filling with water and no way out.
He was so ******** over. He was scared of losing what he had, but at the same time, wishing he could be rid of it. Maybe what he wanted most was to keep his reputation clean. But when things came to light, and they would, his squeaky clean slate would be tarnished. Rep would think him worthy of death. What of everyone else he knew? What would they think of him? Where could he go after that?
The pudding in his stomach was now a twisting and painful pill that wouldn't digest.
"If anything bad happens to me, it'll be my own fault anyway. So whatever." He pushed himself off the counter he'd been leaning on, surveying the messy room as he considered his fate.
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 4:40 pm
"Or maybe it won't be your fault, maybe it'll just be a random ******** horrible thing like so many other ******** horrible things." he shrugged. "Mostly though aye, we make our own mistakes. We hold our own fate."
He sauntered over to the couch and threw the duvet - enormous and probably from his bed, across his shoulders, it was hot in the room but there was just a natural security instinct he couldn't help. "You never seem very happy to me." he said. "Its kind of sad, cause when you are happy you are an endearing insufferable little s**t." his smile turned more teeth than mirth. "You just keep getting ******** over by your weakness for soft curvy bits."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 4:50 pm
Something Otto and Rep had in common was a security issue with duvets. Their soft and squishy nature healed all wounds of the heart. He was jealous Rep was sitting so snug with one at that moment. Only a little bit though. He had one of his own at home. For a dude like Rep who claimed to hate the heat, it was rather amusing he chose to drape the thing on himself now.
Otto kept from smiling at Rep's comment about being endearing, turning his head away and keeping his mouth a firm line of defiance. He tried to remember the last time he was actually truly happy. He was never able to settle well. Never able to rest.
"Maybe you're right. s**t only goes wrong when I got a girl." He murmured idly, scratching at his bottom lip as he stared at a window. Otto knew he had a tendency to fall in love a little too easily. It was so easy to let people get a hold of him when they came with promises of love, attention.
"It ain't that simple though. I can't just cast them aside. That'd really be selfish." And he really didn't deserve the freedom he sought. "I don't wanna see'em hurt, anyway. Especially if it was me hurtin' 'em."
"Besides. It's lonely without them."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 5:01 pm
"I guess that's why you aren't happy." Rep said matter-of-factly. "You said it right there. You've made other people's happiness more important than your own. Oh I can't do this or that, because it might upset someone, I might make them hurt. Life ******** hurts, they can man the ******** up and deal with it. But I guess like. You enjoy being bled to death, till you forget how to be even a little bit ******** happy. And that's fine I guess, some people enjoy being hurt, nothing wrong with like." And he walked his fingertips along the edge of the duvet distantly, his eyes wild and thoughts somewhere else. "A bit of masochism." And he looked back to Otto. "But seriously, even masochists do it because it makes them happy in some way, you just seem miserable alllll the time. Well except when you ate that first spoonful of pudding, that was good to see. Before you got all ******** sad and grim."
He gestured to the couch which he currently resided on in an invitation. "What's the deal anyway?" he asked. "I mean they seem like a couple of harpies, but you didnae seem to mind before."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 5:07 pm
Putting the happiness of others before his own. Wasn't selfless things like that supposed to grant him happiness? That's what most scriptures and self help books would always preach. But it never brought him that. Nothing seemed to make him happy for long.
He gave the couch a long glance, eyeing it and it's occupant wearily. He hesitated, crossing his arms around his torso and staying where he was. If Rep knew what was truly wrong, he would not have offered him a seat at his couch.
"I didn't mind." He agreed, his stomach twisting in knots again. "But I dunno.. stuff went wrong, and now it don't sit right anymore." Why hadn't he been satisfied with what he had? Why had he strayed? Why did he still want the freedom to stray again?
"Maybe I just don't like bein' tied down anymore. 'Specially since like.. life spans here ain't for sure. It's like you said.. I'm livin' for their happiness. I don't even know what I want anymore."
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 5:25 pm
"There's nothing wrong with feeling like you aren't in the right place any more." he said. "Everybody like, has a right to their own happiness. A relationship isn't a ball and chain and if it is it isn't a ******** relationship. If you want to be some kind of slut then so be it. It's a choice you could make. And none of it would be cheating because you'd never be in a relationship. It'd just be sorting out a need like breathing. But it never made me happy, I can tell you. It just made me want to die. But I put way too much ******** focus on that s**t." his expression glossed over momentarily.
"I used to do a ******** of coke just to be able to pretend I could tolerate people, I used to sleep around with people cause somewhere I figured the more bitches you could bed the more of a man you were. But every ******** time I lost something of myself. Cause there are people out there way better at that s**t than you or I. I feel like in some ways you are like me I guess. I mean no entirely like me, don't get all ******** offended or anything, but you get too involved, you get close you start to feel like other cunts pain is your own pain till all you are doing is carrying around a whole ******** of pain with you and the ******** satisfaction you were after isn't worth it any longer. Was how I felt. Whenever someone tried to go steady with me I'd ******** feel like they were ...real? When I hurt them it hurt me, it was a ******** weakness and they didn't make me strong, they made me hate myself. So I'd ******** get rid of them."
There was an edge of sympathy as he looked over Otto, stubbornly refusing his hospitality in traditional Otto fashion. "I'd rather be free than unhappy. I got by that way just fine. When I stopped giving a ******** about relationships here that was when I found something ******** better, a partner, someone I wanted to work alongside all the ******** time, in everything. It wasn't me smiling and saying what he wanted to hear. It was like finding the ******** part of me that was letting the rest of me slowly bleed out. It stopped the ******** wound. The ******** was incidental." he waved his hand. "Ended up excellent because it was something to work on together. A project. It wasn't a chore. If it was I'd just not have done it. I would just have focused on my ******** work here, on being strong on friends."
He shrugged. "I don't want to gross you out with my ******** gay s**t. I know its not your thing but. Its just. It was something important. I thought I was just ******** fine on my own but what I needed was someone like me. Someone who understood me. Without the expectation of like YAAAY DATING AND KISSING AND YAAAY, all the usual s**t people feel like they should do and then just make themselves sad."
He tilted his head slightly. "It's fine to enjoy your own company. Its crueller to lie to people to keep a ******** status quo that you resent. Better to hurt someone once in a huge way than kill them and you like a slow cancer for the rest of their life."
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