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Otto's mouth hung open. His face went redder than a cherry. That was definitely intrusive.

"Uh...Um... wh-when uh..." He couldn't look at Zac while answering, his gaze lowering to the hem of his shirt instead. "No, not really. Used to have some rough stuff with Maebe when we first did it, but.. not.. like.. that stuff." No ropes, no restraints, really. Sometimes Maebe, or rather, often Maebe took the lead. Since dating her, it was tame and normal intimacy.

"W-w-wait, just what are you suggestn' I do?"

Otto turned away from Zac once the taller man hid in his hood. How the two of them ever managed to spend a night together was clearly the fault of booze. The two of them were too easily embarrassed for it to have happened any other way.

"N-n-n-o way!" He objected, suffering the sudden rise in temperature in his face and chest. "Sayin' I been actin' weird cause I want her t-to---No. No way she'd buy that." Would she? Even if it saved their relationship... oh, but there wasn't any possible way he could bring that up. It would show Maebe just how pathetic and weak he was. How deranged his preferences were. What a disreputable excuse of a man he was.

It was a good plan. It was simply out of Otto's comfort zone. He was much too private about himself to bring it up.

"She's just better off hating me. I wish she had someone who wasn't so screwed in the head."

Otto flinched when he was smacked, but he didn't look at Zac. All this set up sounded so daunting and surreal. Too planned for his liking.

"I appreciate it.. I do.. but it feels like a ruse." Otto murmured, wringing the fabric of his shirt between his hands. "I honestly can't touch her, knowing that I cheated. I can't look her in the eye, knowing that I'm lying." Or just not telling.

"You were more stupid." He grumbled beneath his breath. But Zac had already said that himself, anyway.

"I know I need to tell her the truth. I know..."

Otto felt the heavy weight of his sin and burden once more. He'd brought this darkness on himself, and the ones he claimed to love. If his friends knew, if his lovers knew, surely they'd look down on him. Their opinions of him would crumble. He'd be alone.

A hole grew in his heart.

"It's okay... ain't your problem. Forget about it." He murmured softly. He envied Zac's freedom. Something like this wasn't tearing something he'd built apart. Otto started to wish something.. he wished he could wipe his slate clean, and the slates of everyone who knew him. A quick fix. A way out.

"Um..." It seemed to dark now to bring up or talk of tattoos. He wasn't even sure he wanted one yet. "So anyway..."

He didn't want to tell her both. He didn't want his sexual preferences to be known by her. She was dangerous. She was judgmental. Vindictive. He feared her, and it was only now that he realized it. Why didn't he trust someone he claimed to be in love with? The plot thickened with self realization.

"We'll see." Was all he said to that.

Otto shifted his bag off from his back, rifling through the things inside until he produced a sketchbook. He kept it open to the page he'd doodled rough designs in. Most had a non-definitive look; not of items or things that were recognizable. Just lines and curves that twisted and fanned out. Some resembled what could be called Tribal art, some took on the appearance of celtic knots, and others took the form similar to a compass rose.

"Sure. Go ahead.. just don't look at the other stuff in it." He'd used that sketchbook to draw out nightmares he'd had; windows into his dark and troubled soul. "Just rip off the page, and gimme the book."

He shook his head, giving Zac a raised brow and an expression that told him he was an idiot. "If you were a villain we wouldn't be talkin' all civil like."

"It's fine. You're a friend."

Otto shrugged, then nodded. There was a lot of people he labeled as 'maybe won't punch in the mouth'. Usually, he aimed for the nose.

He carefully packed his sketchbook back into his bag, shouldering it and returning his gaze to Zac. "I don't wanna kick ya'll out. But um... I could use the floor, if you're offerin'. We'll see how it goes." He liked the idea of having a place to run and hide. Zac at least made him feel safe.

"What the ******** did you do? Or is she a nutjob?"

"Oh."

That.

"Well, glad someone did it. I didn't have the heart to punch you while you were already near dyin'." Which he truly did consider. Zac had been ridiculous.

Listening to Zac describe the girl, he wondered if he had a thing for this mystery girl. That, or once again Otto simply associated attraction for love. A flaw he was beginning to catch onto quickly now. The two were not the same thing. Not at all. While this situation was terrible and painful, he found himself learning valuable lessons about himself.

"I usually fall into that range." He remarked with ease. Smartass was home to him, when he was in a good mood.