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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2015 2:39 pm
I saw a whale in the ocean, once. It leapt up in the air, quite majestic for it's size. When it came down again, it landed on a small boat. It was a good little boat; it was only doing it's job. The boat shattered, cracking, and falling flat on the sea bed. Another boat sailed over, to see if there were any survivors. The waves kept it at bay.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 1:45 pm
[The winner of this contest is Tiger Hat via poetry-smackdown pinfall.]
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 3:10 pm
Hitting Tiger with the sensational senton, Salem sat up and stood straight, stalking over towards the announce table while fans reacted to the flashy maneuver.
The commentators froze as "The Copperhead" approached, leaning over the desk with his palms flat to the paneling and his eyes locked on their frightened faces. Smiling, Salem suddenly tore the cover off, tossing the plastic faceplate aside before taking wires and monitors and following suit with them. Backing up, one announcer tried to come around the table and slink to the timekeeper, but Salem caught the man with a hand to his chest, snatching the headset off with his other arm.
"Bah gawd, it looks like business is abouta pick up!" he said into the receiver, tossing it aside before turning around in the direction of where Tiger had been left lying.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 3:53 pm
As Tiger Hat began to stand - With table crashing near - Another stood, his kin, to fight No slightest hint of fear.
As man-hands clutched the barricade, To struggle from his bind, She lifted arm, and arm in arm A shade of two defined.
As one man shook his head to side To his her eyes were fixed A loving glare of worried health Against him stayed affixed.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 4:28 pm
Salem took notice of Tiger Girl helping his foe back to his feet, stomping over with a menacing stride to stop it by shoving her aside. Fans across the arena - mostly the men - booed this unchivalrous act, but the former BBW Champ and present Seasons Champ paid them no mind. This was a fight, and fights didn't have rules. If you got in the way, you only had yourself to blame.
So, snatching Tiger by the ear, Salem dragged the man back up to his feet and away from the barricade, twisting it to both heighten the pain and turn his face towards him. Then, suddenly, Salem lurched forward with his teeth, looking to bite Tiger viciously on the cheek with the intent to tear flesh and draw blood, holding the sides of his head tightly to facilitate this end!
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 5:03 pm
Today, Salem got paid to push a woman over and bite a man on the face. I want you to let that sink in for a moment. Every year, people starve to death in the land of plenty, because they live outside of a system, disregarded by it for their perceived lack of value to humanity. With no job, they have no money. With no money, they have no food. With no food, they have no life.
And yet, here is Salem, biting and shoving. It'd be poetic if it wasn't so pathetic. Scratching and clawing his way up, pushing those in his way out of his path. A true story of grit, triumph, and sacrifice.
But no. Forget the metaphors. Salem shoved a woman and bit someone. And he's being paid six figures for it. This is not justice. This is a disgrace. ******** you, America.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 9:14 pm
Pulling his head back with a snarl, Salem sported a bloody mask as a HOLY s**t!" spread throughout the arena, the Seasons Champion's face dripping with Tiger blood (winning). Spitting a chunk of flesh to the arena floor, Salem snarled at his victim, having just Tyson'd one of wrestling's favorite heroes. Ignoring the boos that blended in with the chants, Salem looked like a man possessed as he snatched Tiger by the wrist and flung him towards the barricade next to the announce table with a ferocious Irish Whip - stepping into the move to achieve maximum velocity!
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2015 8:21 pm
[Puppetry done with permission.]Salem sent Tiger barreling towards the barricade next to the announce table, the product of Saint Joey almost going over the security wall from the force of the Irish Whip! Slumped at the foot of the barrier, Tiger looked dazed as blood seeped from the open wound on his face, gruesome enough to look like an infectious bite from "The Walking Dead". Salem sure seemed to be treating Tiger like a zombie at this point, or at least one of the soon-to-be-deceased, the way he did a little spin for the crowd with his arms spread wide. Some applauded the gratuitous showmanship, but most were still stunned by the level of aggression the Seasons Champion was showing, who was now reaching down to grab the apron and lift it up. Dragging a ladder from beneath the ring, Salem held it up and braced his feet, leering over at Tiger with ill-intent. Just as the fans started to prepare themselves for another sick spot, however, "The Copperhead" tossed the steel inside the ring, instead, laughing to himself at the idea. His moment of self-awareness was interrupted by a sudden shove, though, from Tiger's pretty partner!
"Why did you do that?!" Tiger Girl hissed, the fury in her eyes showing that she was unafraid to tussle with the sadistic Salem. Instead of getting angry back, Croft stepped forward, a twisted smirk on his face. Tiger Girl backed up a step, her sense of danger and self-preservation kicking in as Salem got closer, almost chest-to-chest with the fair maiden. With a snap of his hands, Salem shoved the woman right back, pushing her to a seated position on the arena floor.
"Don't you ever touch me like--gah!" he gasped, not noticing that Tiger Hat had seen the exchange and bum-rushed him with a chair from the timekeeper's area. Leaping over his compatriot, the feline fighter had swung for the fences, cracking Salem in the skull with a shot that echoed through the arena, instantly bringing the crowd to its feet with cheers. Salem, meanwhile, had staggered backward and stumbled down to a knee, reaching up to rub his head after eating the faceful of steel! Not wasting any time, Tiger pounced, knocking Salem to his back so that he could start delivering furious fists from a full-mount!
Each blow Tiger rained down brought the crowd to life more and more, their applause becoming deafening, Salem losing his wherewithal with each concussive hit he took. After a few seconds of swinging haymakers, Tiger got back up, a newfound fire in his eyes as he grabbed Salem by the wrist and slung him into the same barricade he'd been sent into, earlier - the Seasons Champ hitting the wall shoulder-first before falling to the ground. Reaching out, he tried to claw his way towards the announce table, but Tiger was fast on his heels, picking him up and running his hunched frame into the side of the desk! Grunting in pain, "The Copperhead" reached up to grasp the edge of the table, trying to pull himself up while Tiger created some distance. Once Salem shambled back up to his feet, however, T.H. lurched forward, leaping to deliver a sick dropkick that sent the Seasons Champion rolling over onto the table, announcers clearing the vicinity. Picking up another nearby steel chair, he swung it down into Salem's gut, adding emphatic pain while leaving the steel draped across his body. Slinking back into the ring, Tiger leaned over the top rope, crowd getting anxious as the fan favorite leaped off the ropes and extended his legs, driving his body down onto the chair and Salem both, collapsing the desk beneath them!
More "HOLY s**t!" chants sprang up through the arena as Tiger sat up following the sick leg drop, Salem prone and hazy after the attack. Standing up, Tiger grasped at Salem's wrist, lifting him and throwing him in the same motion towards the apron, causing "The Copperhead" to roll back onto the canvas before taking a moment to catch his breath. Looking around at the appreciative fans, Tiger hardened his resolve and slid back into the ring, hooking Salem's leg for a quick cover that the crowd counted along with. "ONE! TWO! TH-OHHH!" they groaned in unison, Salem bucking a shoulder up at the last second. Frustrated, Tiger slapped the mat and started pulling Salem back up, immediately jumping onto his back to sink in a rear-mounted headlock to try and weaken the Seasons Champion down!
Stumbling a bit, Salem appeared to not know where he was, the pain and lack of circulation affecting his spatial skills. The referee approached to try lifting Salem's hand and see if he had any strength or awareness in him to fight out, but he was stumbling so awkwardly that the official couldn't perform it properly. Pausing in place, it looked like Salem was about to take a knee, when suddenly the Seasons Champ heaved himself forward - trying to reverse the tides by converting Tiger's sleeper into a senton! With Croft's weight coming full circle and landing on his smaller frame, Tiger broke the hold and gasped, Salem instinctively hooking a leg to try a cover of his own!
"ONE! TWO! TH-YAAAY!" the audience cheered, Tiger managing to shoulder up just in time to prevent being pinned. Sitting up with an expression that bordered disbelief and disorientation, Salem felt some spark return to his body, standing up on pure muscle memory to try and drag Tiger back up to his feet. Keeping a grip on the man's arm as he stood, "The Copperhead" would jerk Tiger forward for a short-arm clothesline, only to have the smaller adversary duck and reverse Salem with an Irish Whip into the ropes! Bouncing off the colored cables, Tiger planted Salem back down into the mat with another dropkick that sent shockwaves through the stands! Fans were almost riotously supporting Tiger, who got back up to his feet and looked around at the awestruck audience. Salem, meanwhile, was struggling to sit up as Tiger tipped his hat to the crowd, oblivious to "The Copperhead" who was starting to get up onto his knees.
Turning around, Tiger caught sight of the recovering Croft, running for the ropes himself to bounce off and prepare for his signature Tiger Knee, a running knee lift meant to crack Salem's jaw in two! Before Tiger could get close enough to deliver, though, Salem sprung forward from his knees to a full-on dive, delivering an explosive clothesline that killed both Tiger's and the fans' momentum. Catching his breath, Salem sat up and smirked at the audience, tapping his head cerebrally to take the piss out further. Getting onto his feet once more, Salem leaned against the ropes, pointing down at Tiger who was at this point trying to sit back up, himself.
"He...he wanted this!" Salem chided, aggravating many who were supporting the high-flying feline. Taking notice of Tiger finally getting into a crouched position, Salem quit resting on the ropes and stumbled towards Tiger, wrapping an arm around his neck to sink in his trademark Guillotine Choke! Instantly, fans began clapping for Tiger to recover, seeing the glassy coat to his eyes as he had the blood halted in his veins en route to his brain. This time, the ref managed to intervene, grasping one of Tiger's hands to lift it. But before he could watch it fall, Tiger let his body go limp, dragging Salem forward to roll him up and convert the submission into a pinning attempt! Once more, the referee dropped to the mat for the count, crowd counting in unison:
"ONE! TWO!" they said, before quickly silencing as Salem rolled over onto his stomach, still not relinquishing the hold! The Seasons Champion refused to give in, this time leaning back himself to deepen the choke as much as possible. The official approached once more, this time lifting one of Tiger's arms and watching it fall back down lifelessly. This happened a second time, fans now starting up across the venue with "LET'S GO TI-GER!" chants, hoping that their hero would persevere through the third hand raise. As if he heard their pleas, Tiger's hand clenched on the third check, fists suddenly lunging at Salem's gut in wild fashion, pummeling the champion's ribs to the point that he let go and backed away, bending at the waist to cradle his ribs and catch his stolen breath. Meanwhile, Tiger was straightening up, Tiger Girl slapping the mat enthusiastically as her ally bounced off the ropes and lunged forward for his patented knee lift once again!
...this time, it connected! Salem's head snapped back, causing the Seasons Champion to stagger and stumble forward towards the center of the ring like a zombie, himself! Falling to the mat face-first, it seemed that the knee had done the trick, Salem not bothering to move once he'd fallen down. Walking over to his opponent, Tiger Hat kicked Salem in the ribs over onto his back, looking around at the audience one more time for some kind of sign. Though they cheered, Tiger seemed hesitant to go for the cover - instead, pointing his finger towards the ladder Salem had thrown into the ring, previously. This sparked the crowd's excitement more than anything thus far, knowing that a cat on a perch was much more dangerous than on the ground. Smiling and nodding, Tiger moved over towards the ladder, spreading it open and turning it upside down, leaning it against a nearby corner.
Salem was starting to stir, trying to roll onto his side and sit up, but failing to accomplish the latter part. Tiger, meanwhile, was working on his 'ladder' part, scaling the turnbuckle to stare down at Salem from between the raised legs of the ladder while atop the turnbuckles. Salem was starting to sit up, getting up to a knee as the student of Saint Joey stood up, pointing menacingly down at "The Copperhead", primed to pounce from on-high! The crowd ecstatic, so eager to see another highlight reel moment from their favorite feline, cameras flashing all around the arena as he handplanted through the ladder off its legs, extending his own for the leg drop once again! But just as Tiger came through the air, Salem stood up and caught the man on his shoulders, dropping Tiger's back between the ladder's spread legs, causing them to snap shut in a sick fashion against the fan favorite! Like a venus fly trap, the steel ladder closed, causing the back of Tiger's head to hit the turnbuckle on the way down!
Falling to his knees following the improvised powerbomb, Salem ran a hand through his hair, looking over at the mangled wreckage of metal and flesh that he'd left in his wake. The crowd, meanwhile, gasped in unison, unsure of how someone could survive such a fall! Surely Tiger had his neck snapped, ribs broken, the way he was so lifeless lying in the corner. Not looking to take time and check the level of damage he'd caused, Salem dragged his possibly lifeless body by the ankle away from the twisted ladder and towards the center of the ring, lying over him to hook a leg and attempt another pin!
"ONE! TWO! THREE!" the audience exclaimed, some booing in disappointment while others cheered at the sheer ruthlessness this bout had brought out in both competitors. Breathing heavily, Salem smirked, wiping some blood from his lips that had started filling his mouth following the Tiger Knee, mixing with remnants of Tiger's blood from the nice flesh wound he'd left the fan favorite with. The referee remained ambiguous to the whole affair, raising Salem's hand in victory before the Seasons Champion jerked it away, shuffling tiredly over towards the opposite corner where he'd left his Seasons Championship. Draping it over his shoulder, Salem ducked under the top rope and started down the ring steps, almost falling over his own feet on the way to the arena floor. Tiger Girl was already in the ring, worriedly tending to Tiger Hat while barking at the referee to get some medical staff to the ring. Turning to watch the scene with his own eyes rather than the image plastered across the big screen, Salem backed up the ramp with heavy feet, admiring his handiwork as EMTs passed him on the ramp. Raising his Seasons Championship high, the champ turned around on the stage, making his way through the curtain and back from whence he'd came.
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