The Anesthesia
After the chill she'd taken outside, the soft (and warm, thanks to the heat here) hands rubbing her skin was a relief. The attentiveness with which Nera treated her was welcomed, but bittersweet in light of what they both had realized. Their attempt at living together, roughing it in the forest, had shown how dreadfully unprepared they were - children still. They needed more time to grow. As she spoke, Lucijah kept her eyes turned towards the fire, unwilling to look at Nera's features. As much as she knew she adored her sun-kissed lover, she also realized that she couldn't know how the girl would react to this - especially considering the many changes in her demeanor that surfaced after returning from the final battle. The pain she'd suffered had traveled with her, and Nera in the aftermath was akin to the molten iron of a sword plunged into water. Fiery and untouchable, burning in its radiance - then quenched to a cold blade. Such an experience would have shattered a lesser blade - but Nera had suffered through it, not broken... but definitely changed.
And Lucijah had struggled to become used to these changes, or to change along with them. They still fit together, so startlingly well, but Lucijah felt like an old, worn leather sheath, sliced by the keen, sharp blade Nera had become, and unable to accomodate her fully. She needed time - time to adjust to these changes, just as they needed time to properly plan for a future together - not just a new nest to build, but a change from the girl who had secretly hidden her lover away, like an ashamed hoarder, in a nest in the jungle. In contrast to this view of herself, the concept of traveling, side by side, on the roads with her lover, chins held high, and able to flaunt eachother's presence openly on the road... it pleased her, more than she could express. Even if the realization that Nera's mother, HER Nera's mother, had been the leading general was a something of a shock to her. Her eyes flashed briefly, uncertain how to process the realization, but she found herself less offended than she'd expected - more intrigued, and extremely pleased at her lover's influence. Knowing she was chosen by someone of apparent importance helped to smooth her ego, ruffled as it was by admitting defeat against the winter.
While the Nera of Before wouldn't have suggested splitting, it was the best course of action, even if the ramifications could be dire. They could split apart and never find one another again - and a part of Lucijah feared that back home, among comfort and without fear of being harmed again, Nera might come to regret her decisions here in the wild. Might see it as a an experience to think fondly back on, but not one to carry into the future. So Lucijah gazed at her lover, breath held in her throat before she released in a shaking stream, breath shuddering with evident emotion, even if her eyes were dry, and her features were determined. "It'll only be a short while before we're together again, emberling." Lucijah agreed warmly, reaching to hold each cheek in the palm of her hand, drawing her lover's face until their faces rested together - nuzzling her own numb, cold nose against Nera's flushed one, stealing a soft, lingering kiss from those pouty, full lips. "I would be intrigued to see your homeland - perhaps after winter, with the cheer of spring returning, you could escort me safely through your lands?"
