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Oliver still had doubts. He wanted to take that advice, but for now, while he was still weak and scared, it was impossible. Pain might be temporary, but the finality of death was something the boy was already familiar with. He had been the survivor once, and he had no desire to survive again if it was at the cost of someone else's life.

Something disrupting the waves a ways out in the sea caught Oliver's eye, a large fish(monster) breaching the surface, and his head whipped around to watch it's pointed tail disappear. The trainee was so startled he almost spilled the cup of water all over his pants. It was only by some miracle the water hit the floor instead.

"Ah, s-sorry, I thought... um... I thought there was something, b-but it's gone now..." He looked around nervously, at everything except Lex. "I-I s-should, uh, find something t-to clean this up... S-sorry..."

Oliver seemed to brighten at the mention of using his scarf rather than showing further dismay. Having grown up the way he had, the kid was a supporter of sock-mops and pant-kerchiefs, and unwinding his scarf to let one end drop onto the wet floor did not phase him at all. He pushed it around with the toe of his boots until the rest would quickly dry on it's own.

"Ah, there," he muttered to himself, a mere trace of a smile on his face. But when he wound the scarf back around his neck, letting the wet and dirty end fall down his back, it was all serious once again. "Do those things always stay so far away? I've seen the little ones, really close to the shore... And if those big ones out there aren't dangerous, what are we really looking out for?"

His pale eyes were full of anxiety once more, wide and frightened like a puppy dropped in a lion's den. Even as he watched Lex pacing in front of the windows, his glance darted towards the sea beyond. Oliver would have made a superb lookout had he not been so prone to panicking over the smallest movement in the distance.

Oliver seemed temporarily placated. The sensitive young trainee had no reason to doubt Lex when it came to such reassurances, despite his continued glances towards the waves, the tension in his shoulders had started to disappear.

Unfortunately it was one step forward, and two steps backwards.

"Ah... s-sorry, I can't... I-I don't know, I c-cant help it..." Oliver stammered, for a second glancing at Lex with pleading eyes before staring down at the floor. How was he supposed to do that, swallow his fears? Just the thought of facing down monsters had him trembling in his boots. "E-everything is just... I c-can't..."

Oliver didn't know what the other was talking about, an hour or two, a few weeks? It was like Lex had suddenly started talking nonsense. The best solution for this problem was to send the kid out on a mission and let him get killed. Or shove him back in a pod. Forever. If he couldn't at least be benignly useless, what was the point in even keeping him?

The trainee's eyes were suddenly very watery. He wasn't crying yet, but it was very close. He had made a surprising number of friends on the island, people he really cared about, and he couldn't bear the thought of causing them harm.

Oliver turned his head, avoiding Lex's eyes. "Why don't... they just let me die..."

Oliver couldn't. He flinched away from the tightened grip, not because it was painful, but because it was so sincere. The boy didn't want sincere, at that moment he didn't want kindness, or concern, or any of those gestures meant to comfort and reassure.

It was impossible for him to do what Lex had asked, in fact he did the exact opposite, turning his head further away and squeezing his eyes shut as he shook his head. The tear that had been merely threatening a minute ago slid down the boy's cheek.

The young trainee still didn't look up, didn't dare open his eyes. Not right away. When the hand left his shoulder he forcefully bit down on his lower lip, and when the scarf touched his cheek he took a long, shuddering breath. The only way he could manage composure at this stage was by stuffing down all the fear and sadness. After a minute he opened his eyes again, but still couldn't look up at Lex let alone make eye contact.

"I-I'l be okay... I'm s-sorry to make you worry..." Oliver said by route, like he had done it a million times before.

Oliver shook his head weakly, and his shoulders slumped. It was as though merely keeping down the tears had taken every little bit of energy he could muster, and that little gesture was the only means he had left to show his defeat. In that heavy fog of misery he didn't believe he could ever deserve the best, and didn't deserve to even look in the direction of success let alone actually reach for it.

But his throat was tight, and he couldn't voice any more protests. Fear was exhausting.

Oliver seemed to become even smaller as Lex let go, and instead of his hands clenched in front of him, he held his arms across his slim chest in a tight hug. The dismissal, as gentle as it was, had been the outcome Oliver was expecting.

He nodded bleakly, stood, and without a word headed towards the stairs. Even if he made it back to his room without a well-meaning "what's wrong" triggering his tears all over again, it would be a long time before he was able to sleep that night.