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Oliver covered his mouth again with one hand, this time in a shy, self-conscious gesture. "S-sorry," came his automatic reply. He wasn't sure why he was apologizing, if it was for laughing at his cereal or for not smiling much before now, or just a general reaction to such scrutiny. But he couldn't be too nervous, not when Arorangi had, for once, used a quieter and more Oliver-appropriate volume.

"I... um, I've never been outside my town, not until I came here," the boy admitted. It was easy for him to be more talkative when he was low on sleep, the part of him that stifled his expression was sleepy as well. "There's nowhere to go, really... We had a train, and boats and planes, but no roads between us and nearby places. Except the island in the winter, the ice was so thick you could drive right across the river."

The hilarity had passed, and Oliver was once again able to take a bite of cereal.

When Oliver felt his cheeks heating up he suddenly wanted to hide his whole face, not just his smile. He had to settle for staring at his bowl and poking the cereal around aimlessly with his spoon, it felt odd to be told something so nice, he wasn't entirely sure how to take the advice gracefully.

A wayward thought crossed the boy's mind, and his shy smile faltered slightly. It was hard to forget all those times he had used a smile simply to put other people at ease. Oliver had no reason to lie to Arorangi, but he had years of fake smiles behind him, summoned up in an instant when someone was troubled enough to worry about him. A smile could keep people at a distance, once you smiled they stopped looking at you, and stopped being troubled by you.

Without realizing it, that was exactly what happened next. "I-it's okay," Oliver replied, that smile returning to cover his sad memories. "I don't think I'm made for adventure, things like flying sound really scary... Oh, m-my town is in Canada, right at the bottom of James Bay. Moosonee."

Oliver missed the concern, looking down and poking his soggy cereal around was a good activity when he was on the edge of withdrawing back into his shy self. Then as if reading his mind, Arorangi spoke up again and Oliver felt his smile slip. He didn't reply right away, or glance up from his cereal, for a minute or two he just listened to the other trainee's confident voice. How could he be so sure of everything?

The teen left the smiling comment alone, storing it in his mind to ruminate over later. For now he would focus on the other points of interest.

"Um... I think i-it's okay if I don't go out looking for it..." Oliver replied, finally glancing back up. His smile was gone, but he didn't seem unhappy. It was more of a pensive expression. "Especially if... uh... you are going to say it like that."

There was something inadvertently ominous about such a big guy cheerfully saying they would take their lives. Even though Oliver knew what Arorangi had meant. Sometimes it felt like one and the same anyway, leaving for the island had shortened his lifespan considerably, leaving on an adventure might just be the final nail in his coffin.

The tired kid looked at his soggy cereal, and then his eyes wandered to the slices of toast Arorangi had pushed towards him earlier.

There it was again, those solid reassurances that could have come straight out of a motivational calendar. But they weren't corny, practiced lines. Oliver was starting to realize that this was just how Arorangi was. Silver linings everywhere, even for small, lost kids like himself.

He took a deep breath and glanced up with shiny eyes, unable to hold the eye contact longer than half a second before looking away. Not down, but... away. And it appeared to take every ounce of effort he had in him to resist returning his gaze to his cereal. He knew there were so many reasons for being the way he was, but everything was starting to get jumbled up in his mind.

"I d-don't know," Oliver finally replied, wiping at the tears gathering in his tired eyes. "I think... I think I'm lost..."

Oliver didn't want to look up, and he offered a weak resistance before allowing Arorangi to see his face. Despite the Mist trainee's appearance, every gesture from the touch to the smile on his face was the most gentle thing, and just having someone be so kind to him made something twist painfully in his chest. The kid's lip quivered, and then as Arorangi sat back down, the tears overwhelmed his resistance.

"A-Aro..." He started weakly, but his throat was tight and he could only let out a small sob. Oliver was so tired of rubbing his eyes, but the tears wouldn't stop. Nor would the quiet hiccups and sobs. Had he been out of sight, nobody would even notice he was crying.

After a minute he rubbed his face with the sleeve of his coat more determinedly, and took a deep, halting breath. "I-I th-think I'm just t-tired," Oliver said, trying to sound as casual as possible for someone who was trying to hide his distress. "I-I'll b-be okay s-soon... P-please, y-you don't h-have to worry about me."

Oliver couldn't refuse the handkerchief, it would be rude when his coat cuffs were as damp as they were. Each wipe at his eyes felt more like it was merely smearing around the snot and tears. And the soft, worn fabric was gentle on his face. "Th-thank you..." He whimpered in a tiny voice.

The kid was silent as he mopped up the last of the tears on his face, whatever sadness left still inside him was content to settle, and not continue to spill over. It weighed Oliver down, showing itself in the way the boy hung his head, and the way his shoulders slumped. He clutched the handkerchief like it was the tiniest security blanket.

"P-please don't worry, t-too much then..."

"I-I still think it was an mistake... or something..." Oliver muttered, although his words were still fairly negative, there seemed to be less gloom in his tone. He let his head get pushed around with the rubbing. "I'm not really a kid anymore, so they should have picked someone who wasn't afraid of everything."

He sniffed in a distracted way, rubbing his nose on his sleeve even though he had the handkerchief still in one hand. It made him feel warm inside, the thought of having someone to figure things out with, but it was also scary too. He didn't know how to trust someone else. Even the smallest acts of kindness were enough to knock over his emotional floodgates.

Oliver sighed, resting his elbows on the table, and his chin on his hands. It felt good after being wrung out first by the late night, and then the tears. "Can we... pretend... I wasn't just crying?" He finally asked.