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Maebe was the master of denial. The Ancient of Deception. She was cold and empty and broken and reformed long ago, into something harder, wrapped in a delicate shell. She was not easily susceptible to bouts of emotion. She was a rock.

And in that moment, not the one where Otto admitted he got jealous, but the one where he admitted that with Cami, he didn't, Maebe finally realized what she had in the two of them, and felt dangerously close to admitting something to Otto that she laughingly would have never considered for the rest of her life, if she'd had it her way.

But she didn't. Otto did not need the added burden of knowing that Maebe had just changed the game. And the rules.

"That makes me," Was her voice betraying her? She tested it carefully, to make sure the shaky thrill was removed before continuing. "Very, very happy."

She removed her hand from his neck, and placed it on top of his, flattening it against her skin. Demanding as ever, Maebe slid his hand under her shirt, all the way up her side. She was all at once very needy for his touch - and as usual, made said needs easily known.

"If you'd asked me a month ago, I would have said this was impossible." She let out a long, careful breath. Too much, too much. "Funny how wrong I can be."

"I changed." She answered succinctly, easily distracted by the rise of his hands and the soft feel of his fingertips against her skin. "I think that's obvious. To more than just you and me, even." A soft, breathy snort left her bouncing, just once. She bent down and curled her head in the crook of his neck, but her hand never once left his hair, comforted by the security of being lost in it.

"You were the one who was supposed to change." She remembered just how far she'd gone to try and achieve that goal. Otto felt no different from the day she'd met him. If anything, his light shone even harder now.

"The best laid plans."

She had failed spectacularly. More than just a failure, she'd committed the greatest sin of her life, and she was stewing in it, sitting in its arms and losing herself in the feel of it. She couldn't deny how she felt about him, and she wanted to. She wanted to very, very bad. She was so good at denial, it was just.. slipping away from her.

Everything was.

"Yeah, well." Small, useless movements kept her body always in motion, just barely snuggling against him. As if it was necessary to constantly feel his presence. "I can't always be right. Only most of the time." Her head tilted, just enough to look at his cheek, so close to her face. Her finger reached up, brushing the skin of that cheek idly as she considered her thoughts carefully. It was easier to admit things when she didn't have to look into his eyes.

"I've got some really bad news for you, though." She sounded truly regretful. "But, I guess, really you only have yourself to blame." Her finger stopped moving, and she just stared at that cheek. "I care about you, too. A hell of a lot more than I should."

She would have felt so much more in control of the situation, if this news had disturbed or deterred him. She did not feel much in the way of control when she was around Otto, but this particular moment felt like it was spiralling somewhere so dangerous, so desirable, that she was never going to find her way out from wherever she was falling, again.

Otto solved half of her problems, by pulling her in and kissing her with so much rich intent, it stole her ability to think anymore. She couldn't worry, or over-analyze, or even remember her name, in that moment. That would be what frightened her the most, when she surfaced from the thoughtless depths he dragged her down into with him. But until then, she was just a girl, and he was just a boy, and this was just the moment they stopped being scared and just let themselves feel.

Her toes curled up inside of her socks.

Though long and meaningful, the kiss ended eventually, and time surged forward once more. She took a great big breath of air in, and kept her head rested on his forehead.

She was just a girl.

"Can I admit something." She whispered, her voice still shaky from what he'd just poured into one single kiss; and how deeply it had sunk into her.

His sass made everything easier. That was part of it, wasn't it? Otto's sass put her at ease, and he managed to worm his way so deep under her skin without her even noticing because of it.

It was too late to realize this, now. Far, far too late.

Her eyes were still closed, when she told him the truth; a truth she never wanted to admit, but he had to know. She whispered it reverently, her skin darkening at its admittance.

"I'm scared."

She'd unknowingly hoped Otto just understood, but he asked her why, and that made her flush even darker. Why couldn't he just know, why couldn't he just be a psychic? Stupid Otto.

"Because," Her whisper laced with a whine. "I don't know how to do this."

"No rules." She tried to accept that fact, even though even she knew that was bullshit, as everyone had rules - no matter what situation they were in - but it comforted her to know that Otto thought he had no rules, which meant that she wouldn't be held responsible if she broke them.

An offer like that was impossible to turn down; or be afraid of.

"You make a good point." She finally opened her eyes, and her own glittered with delight. "But everyone is scared of trying something for the first time. Give me a break." Her smirk tilted to one side, only slightly smug. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything."

That question made her suck a breath in through her teeth. Otto just kept prying, trying to make her say things she might not have been ready for, simply because he didn't understand them yet. But at least this question was just more sharing of her past, instead of planning a future. She'd already proven she could handle doing this, with him.

"First time being involved with someone I actually care about. And not just living for the moment. I hardly think that this comes as a surprise to you, Otto, that I don't really have a record of relationships. I have notches on my bed. People who fed me, clothed me, let me live. No one to worry about, no one to - " Well, it wasn't like she was exactly saying it to him, she told herself. This was an easier way to handle such a dangerous subject. "Love, or love me." There. She hadn't said oh, Otto, my darling, how I love thee! She wasn't some goddamn sap, trying to woo a poor boy with words and glances.

At least, not anymore.

"So. You know." She reached up, and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Firsts. Give me a damn break."