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 Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2014 8:01 pm
Persephone nodded. "And some of us are so young - have you met many Chibi Senshi?" She knew that some of her fellow officers, those who were inclined to accuse Order of horrible crimes, often chose the Awakening of Chibis as a point of superiority. Chaos could not touch the hearts of children, after all.
She exhaled faintly. "But it's not the shift in responsibility - not really. I have every bit the authority of a General. I can command people to kill, and to die, on my word. But I know that no one will die on me again because I'm too slow to save them. Because I couldn't carry them quick enough to medical attention. It's the knowledge that while I do have responsibility - a duty to every officer below me - I actually have the capability to shoulder that responsibility."
It made sense to her, at least.
"Biela died because I was weak. I'm not weak anymore."
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Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 6:56 am
Here, at last, Persephone lost her. You call it strength and weakness. 'You were weak, now you're strong' -- but you sold your values to someone who had the obscene, disgusting nerve to stroke your hair as you came to them on your knees for the child they'd killed -- and when you licked your oppressors' feet, when they'd broken you, they gave you a promotion for it.
You sold your convictions like cheap costume jewelry so that you wouldn't have to feel insecure anymore. It wasn't strength Chaos gave you -- it was just power. Power doesn't cure cowardice -- it just gives it something to stand behind.She wondered what it was Persephone was fighting for. Did she think it didn't matter what side of the war she was on, so long as she could be personally successful? Did she ever question her superiors? Did she look her former comrades in the eye and order her new ones to kill them? "No many, no," Hvergelmir said. "I can't imagine." But Persephone hadn't killed Biela. She hadn't stopped her heart or stilled her lungs -- a Negaverse officer had done that. "Do you want to fight?" she asked, considering a new strategy. Persephone seemed gentle, for all that she took pride in her rank. Maybe -- maybe the best tactic with her wasn't to go around, but through. "I don't get that impression."
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Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:46 pm
Persephone bit the inside of her cheek. There it was, the question she liked the least. Admitting the answer felt like weakness, like she was admitting she was still terrible and incompetent and her corruption hadn't been worth anything, in the end.
"No. I hate fighting. I hate violence, I hate killing - I hate when I have to do it, rare as that is." She said. And if Hvergelmir ever told anyone, she would be sunk, she was sure of that. "I would rather talk with people - it's so much easier." It hurt to think that someday, she might break someone else the way Mica's spear through Biela had broken her. And that for that other person, it would not be reparable.
"I don't like what I have to do, but I had to fight as an Order Senshi too, and at least now I can protect the people I care about in a way more effective way than desperately lighting a warehouse on fire to cover a retreat that came too late anyway."
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Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2014 8:22 pm
Hvergelmir took a breath. This next one was a big one -- or at least it could be. "Then work with me," she said with soft conviction. "You've traded so much in exchange for power and authority -- use them. Help me make this war better." To clarify what she was suggesting, she went on, "There's no such thing as White Moon lies and White Moon propaganda. You know better -- when you hear people claiming those kinds of things, don't let it pass unchallenged. Learn what you can about this war, about our history -- learn everything you can. And tell anyone who'll listen. Never believe an order deserves to go unquestioned. Never believe people deserve to fight and kill in ignorance. Never corrupt someone into this war without them understanding it. Never corrupt a teenager. Never -- just never corrupt more people at all. Don't add to this conflict." Hvergelmir looked the corrupted senshi dead in the eye. "It's asking a lot -- but you have a lot to be asked. You chose this -- the power to save lives, the authority to mete out death. But no one deserves power and authority if they don't try to use it as well as they possibly can." Songstress Kitsune hey i just met you and this is crazy, but here's some risky s**t i'd like you to do, so conspire with me maybe
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Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 3:28 pm
Persephone felt her breath hitch in her throat.
Oh, god, what Hver was asking seemed so nice, so easy. But she also knew that it was borderline treasonous - and there was a part of her that was afraid. She could so easily visualize Zinkenite's terrible anger, directed at Wolframite and the others who had attacked the Dark Mirror with him, and it was just as easy to picture it turned on her, for associating too closely with Order, for making herself look a traitor or a potential traitor...
But Hvergelmir was right. She had traded her very soul for the strength to save people, and she would serve nothing and no one by squandering it.
"I - I'll think about it." She said, because it was a tall order, and it sort of frightened her. "But I can already promise you not to bring anyone in. That's a cheap freebie. I can't, you see." She exhaled. "Chaos does...really bizarre things when it interacts with a Senshi starseed I guess, and it can give us some of the abilities of an officer, but not all of them. And uh, some things officers can't do, since I know for a fact they can't remove their own starseeds and stay conscious." She broke from meeting Hver's eyes and stared at her lap, fingers curling in her skirt.
"The other stuff...I don't know. I can't promise you anything right now." How could she be sure that Hvergelmir wasn't going to report her for treason? "My position is fragile enough, so...I might want to help you, but I don't know if I'll be of any use."
She preached how much stronger she was, but every time she thought she was going to prove it, she failed. Again.
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Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:19 am
I'll think about it. That was as much as Hvergelmir could really hope for. It was less than she wanted, surely -- but Persephone was still nearly a stranger. All she could do was hope she'd planted some kind of a seed. Rome wasn't built in a day. I'll keep trying with her."I can understand that. It's your choice -- take some time with it. I haven't walked a mile in your shoes," she agreed. "Promise me something else, then. Come and see me again."
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Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:14 pm
Persephone looked back up, and nodded rapidly. That she could do. She liked Hvergelmir - she was the first one to listen to her story and not judge, or call her stupid or foolish or deluded for joining the Negaverse.
"I'll come see you again. I'd like to come see you again." It would be nice to talk to someone who didn't see her as a monster or a moron.
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 4:03 am
Hvergelmir grinned. "Then I'm at your disposal. Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays, you'll find me here." She put out a hand to shake. "Be well, Persephone. I'm happy I met you." Songstress Kitsune quick fin on your tag I'm guessing?
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:56 am
Persephone nodded. She could remember that. Three days a week, she could come here and have a nice conversation with a sweet girl.
She stood up off the bench. "Take care of yourself, Hvergelmir," she said, and then she curtsied and vanished.
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