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 Posted: Fri May 23, 2014 6:32 pm
Chester watched her, eyebrows lifting a bit in surprise as she asked him if he really thought she was beautiful. He would have thought she was well aware of how enchanting she was. He had been, after all, completely under her spell from the get go, and had never been able to lift a finger in his own defense. He was lost and he could not be happier, falling and falling without any hope of finding his way up again, if that was even where he wanted to be. Where ever he was falling, he was looking forward to the landing.
"I think you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen," he said, taking a deep breath to prepare himself for the struggle to put his thoughts into words ahead. He shifted, moved her back from his forehead for a moment so he could look at her directly, his eyes level with hers as she perched on him.
"You keep telling me about all these flaws you see in yourself, or warning me against some of your habits, but I find them all to be worthwhile and just... part of what makes you perfect. You're perfect, and beautiful, because you're you, Zia. Whatever comes along with that, it's perfect and beautiful too."
He was not the best at this kind of stuff, but he tried to put his thoughts out there at last. Some of the words came slowly, and he had to think of the proper way to phrase what he wanted to say, but he chugged along as best he could.
His smile was small and tired looking, but it was warm and it was only for her. No one else would ever see that look, or hear him try and say anything close to what he was trying to tell her now.
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2014 8:34 pm
"Hm," Zia's lips pursed in kind of an ornery semblance of a smile when he mentioned she was trying to warn him about her flaws.
In all honesty, she had never really shared her outright disdain or fear for other people being close to her before. Chester was the first to hear of it so bluntly, and one of the very few exempt from it.
But she wouldn't argue it was a warning, although from her awkward and dubious perspective she saw it as a compliment as she took the hand she had held captive and moved it to press his knuckles against her lips and halfway hiding as if she was playing coy.
But that was before it seemed to fully sink in. And it was noticeable when it did. She stared at him like a deer caught in headlights as she found herself trapped making eye contact. Green eyes. Which seemed totally irrelevant as he told her how perfect she was, flaws and personality and everything else wrapped up.
He might not have thought he was well spoken, but in Zia's ears it rang. Zia, who never thought she was beautiful inside or out. Who had always related herself to romantic interests as an object to be possessed and vice versa.
All at once Chester made her feel cherished, but cherished for something she coveted and craved so passionately. Autonomy. Humanity, flaws and all. She would've settled for someone acknowledging she had these things she didn't quite believe she did. But he not only declared recognition; He said she was beautiful.
"I-- I..." She stammered, but her lips struggled for words before she gave up and went quiet, dropping her grip on him looking completely fallen as her glance veered off in space to the floor, and then back to his eyes. Gorgeous, handsome green eyes and his rare smile.
Zia had been successfully rendered speechless.
"N--...nn..." She seemed lost and helpless in a wave of realizations and emotional fall out before she hid her mouth behind her hands and glanced away, cheeks fading cheeks flushed again. "No one's ever been so nice to me before," She half whimpered out. Which was half true. Zia acknowledged she had fantastic, supportive friends. But such validation and safety in a romantic partner was unprecedented when her norm was unhealthy and twisted relationships between broken people.
She didn't feel like Chester was a fellow, broken individual. He was a whole person who respected her as a whole person. Made her feel like a whole person.
Which made it super weird all these weird emotions intermingling at the pit of her stomach and ready to burst out of her rib cage seemed be drawing tears to the corners of her eyes while she strained not to look so overwhelmed.
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2014 1:04 am
Chester very much liked it when Zia was speechless, and resorted to making little sounds and strange, but limited, efforts at finding words when she clearly could not. It was not because he liked her not speaking, but he liked the fact that he could render her so speechless. The idea that he had that kind of an effect on anyone, let alone the woman that was easily capturing his heart, was intoxicating to him.
He would never get used to it, and that was what made it so desirable.
Watching her kiss his hand, he felt his chest burning. He could see, could feel, that she was happy, even as she was overwhelmed and struggling to understand what he said. He did not have it in him to ever lie to her, and he knew that if he ever tried he would never succeed. She had a very keen ability to see right through him, regardless of which way his mood was tending. So he did not bother trying to speak around any subject, telling her as accurately as he was capable of exactly how he felt.
"I'm not just being nice," Chester said to her, running his hand through her hair and trying to calm her, not wanting her to feel too overwhelmed. "I'm telling you the truth. You deserve to hear it, and if no one has told you before then they're all fools. They didn't see what they should have."
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2014 8:19 am
While Chester was becoming the only man to touch Zia's hair and survive to tell the story later, Zia awkwardly tried to wipe away tears that hadn't quite fallen without smudging her make up and forced out a strained half chuckle.
Chester might've thought he was stumbling through cheesy platitudes or standard confessions but he had hit on something she had been fighting for, to have and be recognized for, and to be accepted that way was unprecedented. It was pain and relief all at once.
When people reached out to touch her, especially around her vainly prized ringlets or around her face, Zia usually flinched or froze. But as Chester employed this maneuver to calm her down it seemed to work as she comfortably leaned into it without realizing.
She sniffled and was glancing around in thought. It was hard to accept being built up in such a massive way, because it usually came with the fear of being torn down. Apprehension sunk in as she realized how very hard she had fallen. And she couldn't say when. Chester was just Chester and always there, and when he said things it only served to open her yes to just how valuable he always had been to her. And that also meant the gaping wound he could leave if he chose to.
Part of that was her own skittishness. Usually every charge she'd thrown her lot in broke her heart. They died, the corrupted, they vanished. Her history with boys was unimpressive and full of naive pitfalls and poor choices and shaky foundations that started with lust and ended in heartbreak. Zia was quick to love but constant breakage left her slow to trust, and but she could fine both for Chester who had more dangerous ability than she could really remember anyone ever having before. There was a foundation here, and a beginning based on something more solid than shallow lust or silly teenage ideals.
She cautiously made eye contact again and breathlessly tried to get a grip. Mental repetitions started as she tried to fight back her tendency to fear the worst and run away from emotional risks. He would never. It'll be okay. Take the leap.
The teary eyed look stayed, but her smile slowly returned in earnest. She threw both arms over his shoulders and kissed him with new fervor before whispering against his lips, "Don't you dare break my heart, Chester Riley."
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 6:55 pm
Chester was not sure he liked to see her cry, even if they were happier tears than they could have been. He liked her happy and smiling, though he did like this moment for what it was. He felt like he was connecting to her in a way he had not imagined he would ever be able to put out there in the open. Maybe he could imagine it in the back of his mind, and he stole some private ideas for himself, but he never thought it would be real.
Chester was a very simple, very private man, for all his complexities and the fact that he was a ring master for a carnival style theme park. He kept quiet, he stuck to himself, and most of his life was spent being alone. He had never really pursued relationships, and anyone that did manage to enter his very private life, usually left it quickly and without note.
This was all very different to anything he had ever known before, but he liked it for that.
He was surprised when she kissed him, but closed his eyes and wrapped his strong arms around her, holding her to him as if he expected everything around them to explode, and only he could keep her safe. He cherished her, and would never let anything harm her.
Most certainly not something he could do.
"I never will. I told you before. I'm always here for you. I'm yours."
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Posted: Sat May 31, 2014 1:33 pm
This was definitely not talking about space, but here in her safe corner under the stars and wrapped tightly in his arms, Zia could forego space for once.
Because this was comfortable, and this was right, and she could stay here held tightly and slowly exploring new territory in his promises and kisses as long as he’d stay.
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