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 Posted: Wed May 21, 2014 2:48 pm
*Bam! Bam! Bam!*
"Buh?!" One of Rory's eyes (the red and purple one) snapped open at the sound of pounding on the hotel room door.
"Minibro! Bro-ry! Up and at 'em!" Nero called out in his typical upbeat way. Rory yawned and sat up. In just a few hours, they'd be at Scarie LeVeau's home! Rory felt a shiver of worry and anticipation as he recalled that soon he'd be meeting Marceline's family as well.
"We'll be up in a second!" Rory called out to Nero before turning to the other bed to shake Glen awake. Glen could sleep through the apocalypse, Rory was certain.
"Glen, it's time to....Glen?" Rory looked at the lumpy, but clearly empty bed. Glen was not there, nor was he in the bat-room. As a last resort, Rory even checked the closet, but he couldn't find any proof Glen had ever been in there, ever.
Normally, Rory's inclination would have been to hexpect the absolute worst. He would have suspected Glen had been swallowed by a wormhole or spontaneously combusted, or even kidnapped by crazed normies, but all the time spent fanging with his less-worrysome bros had taught him that he shouldn't always assume such improbable scenarios. Rory took a deep breath and logically jumped to a much less ridiculous possibility - Glen was probably really hungry and went down to eat freakfast already.
With that comforting thought in his head, Rory got dressed and ready for the day - perhaps just a little faster than usual since now there was the concern that Glen would eat up everything before the rest of them got downstairs.
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2014 9:18 am
Kai and Nero met up with Rory at the head of the stairway down to the lobby, where breakfast was being served."Sup, chromebro?" Nero asked, offering a claw for a fist-bump. Rory gently complied."Hey, where's Glen?" Kai asked, noting that their party seemed significantly less hyperactive than usual.
"Already downstairs, I think. He was up before I woke up." Rory replied as they headed down. There were a few different monsters already up and helping themselves to plates of cinnamon french ghoast covered with whipped scream or pancakes and maple fearup. Rory and Nero ran to stand in line with plates.
Kai held back. Maybe it was his were-cat genes, giving him a little bit of a sixth sense about something being not quite right. Scanning the dining room, he didn't see even a flash of green skin or a single opened can of Red Ghoul."Hey, grab me a plate, okay?" Kai asked Nero. "I'm going to look around for Glen." "Sure thing, bro." Nero nodded just as he started heaping a pile of french ghoast on his plate. Kai strolled out of the dining room and started looking around for Glen.
He wasn't in the sitting room. Kai glanced into the kitchen, where a very creaky corpse of a lady was preparing more food. No Glen there, either. Glen wasn't in the lobby, near the vending machine or fanging out by the brochures advertising local attractions to visit."Weird." Kai muttered to himself. His tail was rattling. Normally, his tail rattle was like an early warning system in Mad Science that something was about to explode and it was time to take cover, but this time Kai sensed that maybe something even more foreboding was taking place.
Stepping outside, Kai started scanning the parking lot to see if Glen had decided to come outside. The van was parked in one of the closest spots to the hotel, but looked untouched. Just to be sure, Kai reached down into his chain wallet to grab the keys and look inside.
It was just as his eyes swept the ground that he saw something that set his tail off rattling hardcore - it was Glen's iCoffin. There was no mistaking it, the back side had runes carved in it to convert it from just a hand communication device into a magic talisman that could focus his spell-casting powers. "Glen's wand!" Kai picked it up, hesitantly. There was no way Glen would ever lose his iCoffin. Without it, he was too young and inhexperienced of a witch to effectively cast many spells. Glen could be scatterbrained and maybe a little thoughtless, but forgetting his iCoffin was simply impossible.
Kai tapped the surface of the iCoffin and noted it was still recording. He hit the 'stop' button and loaded up the video it had been recording.Kai nearly dropped the iCoffin in shock. The next moment, he was using every bit of were-cat stealth he could manage to dash back into the hotel."Hey, there you are. Saved you some breakfast, bro!" Nero grinned and slid a plate heaping with food over to Kai. Kai shoved the plate to the side."Hey, aren't you hungry?" Rory asked. Kai set the iCoffin on the table and hit play.
Rory dropped his fork.
Nero's jaw dropped, sending an entire piece of french ghoast flopping into his lap."We've got trouble." Was all Kai needed to say.
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2014 2:31 pm
Nero carefully balanced a few more of Glen's bags on top of his pile. It was easier if they took everything out in one load and once Glen had run out of Red Ghoul everything was light enough to handle. Rory delicately handled a couple suitcases, just so he could feel helpful, while they rode the elevator down.
Nero hummed a little to the muzac before realizing it was a version of Grimma Gadda Davida.
ping!
As they exited into the lobby, Kai was still not-quite-shouting at the desk, trying to check out. He'd been trying for the last 30 minutes without success.
"I'm sorry, sir, but since the reservation isn't under your name you can't check out. Only a Miss....Glenda West can do that."
"It's GLEN. Glen DA West, and he can't check out because he's gone missing! We need to find him!"
"Yes, sir, you do, otherwise you'll be staying to do dishes and pay for your bill."
"ARG!"
Kai thunked his head onto the wooden reception desk and the host stepped back.
"Sir, if you insist on making a scene I'm going to telephone the police. If you cannot pay your bill..."
"It's supposed to be covered already!" Kai wailed, muffled by the redwood.
"Uh oh, B'rory, I think we've got more trouble."
"Are they going to trap us into indentured servitude?!"
"Ummm....I hope not. Go find that Boostav to get our stuff to the van."
Rory hurried off, happy to avoid whatever confrontation was coming, and Nero dumped the bags to the floor before approaching the counter. Kai was trying to explain for the dozenth time.
"Look, just look at the reservation, it should already..."
"SIR! You are probably too young to realize how a hotel of such caliber works, now once again I must ask you to..."
"It's already paid f..."
"Nonesense! Now..."
"a-HEM," Nero's voice boomed.
The receptionist shut his mouth and looked Nero up...and up...and didn't quail even the slightest. No teenager, no matter how huge, was going to intimidate him. Not even one with that many tattoos. Goodness, there sure were a lot of them weren't there.
"Yes?" he asked, curling his lip a little.
"Please bring us the manager."
"He doesn't ha..."
"Now."
And with that, Nero loomed. Years of stage performances had given him quite a good loom.
"You know I think that is a hexcellent idea, we'll see what the manager has to say to the likes of you."
The receptionist scuttled off, his crab legs clicking irritably against the marble.
"Brutha," Kai moaned into the desktop, "we are doooooomed."
Nero gave him a pat on the back.
"Bro, you've got to learn how to handle these people."
"This isn't like the ghouls, you can't charm them. They are immune to charm. They are charm vacuums!"
"I don't have to. Remember when we checked in?"
Kai scrunched his face up.
"Uh...kinda, they gave us a hard time then too."
"Not the whole time," he grinned.
The receptionist came back with Normoan and Nero turned on his serious face.
"Yes, sirs, was there something wrong with the room?"
"No, the rooms were great. We need to check out early, our friend has gone missing and we need to find him. It sure would be a shame if his aunt, SCARIE LEVEAU, found out that you wouldn't let us leave."
Normoan began to blanch. Kai perked right up off the desktop.
"Yeah! We wouldn't want to have to tell MS. LEVEAU that you were rude to us."
"NO! No no, of course not, sirs, there will be no trouble. See I'm just bringing up the account now, oh look! It was paid in full and we'll refund you part of the night for your trouble, there's no need to bring Ms. L-L-eveau into this at all, ha ha ha ha, no reason at all! Wadsworth, you fool, didn't you know these were VIPs?!"
The receptionist, Wadsworth, turned a little purple. This was not the way he expected things to turn out.
"Mr. Bates, they were just..."
"HA HA HA, you are a funny devil, run along and go see if the kitchen needs any help, I'll handle things from here."
Wadsworth slunk away and Normoan faced the bros with a somewhat manic grin.
"Now, gentlemonsters, is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No, that will be all..."
"YES! Do you have security cameras in the parking lots?"
"Er, yes..."
"We need footage for the north..."
"South," Kai corrected automatically.
"South end of the lot."
"But that footage is private for the hotel only," Normoan balked, "for internal use only!"
"Shame, we'll just have to tell SCARE LEVEAU that you wouldn't help us find HER FAVORITE nephew."
A twitch began under Normoan's right eye that rapidly took over his whole face.
"I'LL GET IT RIGHT AWAY JUST WAIT HERE."
"This is why we get into all the clubs, isn't it?" Kai asked as Normoan ran towards the back.
"What can I say, I'm a people monster."
Rory came up behind them, Boostav to his left with a bag cart.
"So....do we have to wash dishes or not?"
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2014 8:59 pm
"Oh manster..." Rory fretted as Nero and Kai finished downloading the recording from the Bates Hotel security cameras. "I just KNEW something had gone wrong with Glen, but I ignored my instincts! I'm a mirror witch! It's my entire job in life to predict doom! I should have known better!"
Rory pulled out his iCoffin and started dialing as they all headed to the van.
"Woah, who are you calling?" Kai asked as he pulled out the keys.
"Glen's mom. Of course!" Rory replied. "She's going to want to know what happened!"
Kai and Nero looked at each other with wide eyes, and then leapt into action. Nero plucked the phone away from Rory as Kai started the van's ignition.
"You can't do that, chromebro!" Nero replied, quickly hanging up the phone. "Do you know what would happen if Glen's mom knew we let her precious little demon get monsternapped?!"
"She'd go ballistic!" Kai replied. "And then the entire South would be knee-deep in flying monkeys. And even worse, she'd probably tell our parents!"
"Wh....why would that be a problem?"
Kai peeled out of the Bates parking lot so quickly, Glen would have been proud, if he'd been there. Nero just shook his head.
"Bro. The last time we had a misadventure on a bro-ad trip, Kai got grounded for a month, and I lost my studio privileges. And that was just for going to Monte Scarlo-"
"We do NOT discuss Monte Scarlo!" Kai chimed in, zooming down the road. Rory gripped the sides of his seat.
"Imagine how long we'd be grounded for if they found out we lost a whole kid!" Nero replied. Kai made a choking sound.
"He's not lost! We're going to get him back! We're going to do that right now!" Kai's claws gripped the steering wheel so hard it started to bend in his hands. He quickly loosened his grip. "So, where is he?"
Both Nero and Kai looked at Rory. He raised one fractured eyebrow.
"Why are you looking at me?"
"You're the one with the magical mirror powers. Can't you tell us where Glen is? Then we'll just drive there, pick him up, and be back on the road so fast no one will EVER have to know, especially not our parents."
Rory sat still for a bit, his eyes glowing purple. The light faded and he shook his head sadly.
"I'm sorry, guys. Wherever he is, there must not be any mirrors around. Judging from the Hotel footage and Glen's phone, those normies must not have seen their own reflections in years."
"Dang it!" Nero pounded one fist into his other claw. "What do we do now?"
"One of them mentioned a 'swamp' in Glen's iCoffin video." Kai replied. "Are there any of those close?"
"Only about a billion." Nero replied. "And it's not like any of us are familiar with the area."
"Aunt Scarie is." Rory replied. Kai and Nero looked at each other, and then at Rory. Kai shook his head sadly.
"I think Rory's right. I think the only choice we have is to tell Scarie and see if she can help us."
"Yeah, all right. I think that's our best chance. Maybe a little of the Du Sphinx charm will keep her from going right to our folks." Nero reluctantly agreed. "Besides, I'd endure a thousand groundings if it meant getting minibro back."
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2014 6:02 am
"Where are those men?" Ma Murk asked with a huff as she stomped out of the swamp shack she and the other Murks called home. She walked past Granny who sat in her rocking chair, peelin' taters while the water boiled over the fire. Ma turned to the matriarch of the Murks and seethed, "They been gone fer over a day!"
"Calm down, girl." Granny said in a voice that refused arguing. "They went an done themselves a good task. It ain't an easy thing, capturin' a witch, and any relation of that Voodoo Queen who been a thorn in our side for generations is gonna be a task."
"Well, still..." Ma mumbled. "They coulda checked in. Used our new talkin' boxes."
"Are you kiddin?" Granny looked up at her wide eyed. "Those two nit wits have trouble workin' the talkin' picture box! How would they manage a tellyophone call?"
"And yet you think they can catch themselves that there nephew of Scarie Leveau?"
"It's in our blood." Granny sniffed derisively. "Us Murks have been huntin' witches fer generations."
"Yeah, but when was the last time we managed to catch one?" Ma asked.
Granny snapped, "That's beside the point! We always..."
"Ma!" The voice called from the dirt path that led past the heavy swamp waters and into the vast forest surrounded by the Booisianna swamp. "Hey Ma!"
"See?" Granny said with a smile, proud of her son and grandson. "They're home. Now let's see what they brought us."
Pa and Cletus Murk appeared in the path, dragging a large box on wheels behind them by ropes tied around it. The two men folk were all a smiles and waving toward the women.
"What in tarnation?" Ma whispered as Pa started barking orders.
"Quick! Get the cameras started!" Pa hollered. "We're gonna want this recorded for our premiere!"
Cletus and Ma immediately moved to do as they were told, hurrying into the cabin and coming straight back out with rather old fashioned video cameras and tripods which they set up around the box and Pa, readying to capture this moment in Murk Family history.
"You'll never guess what we got, Ma!" Cletus guffawed.
"Oh Pa!" Ma glowed. "You plum remembered our anniversary!"
"ER, yeah." Pa blanched. "Jest now. Anyway, we done it! Are the cameras recordin'?"
"Sure are Pa!" Cletus saluted his pop as Granny approached to get a good look-see.
"Good lad!" Pa clapped his boy on the shoulder, and then turned to look directly into the first camera.
He said into the recording, "Today marks the start of a Period of Greatness for the Murks, the greatest Witch Hunters in history! Today we begin what will be the start of freeing New Goreleans from the clutches of that right nasty VooDoo witch, Scarie LeVeau!"
"Hey!" A muddled voice from inside the box called out indignantly.
Pa continued, "We set us out to capture the perfect bait to lure that blight to all that is good an' proper, to lead her to do battle with us on OUR territory fer once, an' NOT her's! May we present to you..."
Cletus Murk lifted the box, revealing a wooden cage and a frightened Glen Da West!
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2014 8:43 am
"Booisianna.....we're here." Kai replied as the van pulled up in front of Scarie LeVeau's expansive home. The three boos crawled out of the car and walked up to the front door.
"Well....go ahead and knock." Nero lightly shoved Kai forward. Kai's tail twitched. After all the stress, his nerve was failing him.
"You knock. You're Mr. PRguy." Kai stepped behind Nero and tried to shove him forward instead, but he may as well have been trying to shove a pyramid.
"I'LL knock." Rory replied, reaching out one mirrored arm and lightly tapping on the door. The knocks echoed inside, seeming to get louder and louder as they echoed through the mansion. Finally, Rory realized what they were hearing wasn't echoes, but rather footsteps. The door cr-rr-rreaked open. A shadow fell across all three of them.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't my nephews and de rest of de boys. You're early!"
"We...we drove at a good pace, ma'am." Kai replied, a bit sheepishly. In fact, his foot was sore from pressing down the gas pedal.
"Well dat's all right den!" The statuesque witch replied, looking each boo over with her elegant yellow cats-eyes. "I can give you de gran' tour of de bayou. Let's get your bags settled an'-"
"Er....Um..." Rory, who was front and center between Nero and Kai, rubbed the back of his neck and struggled to speak up. "It's just that...there's this issue...you see..."
"No, I don' see..." Scarie cut off Rory, as her eyes darted around. "In fact, I don' see my little green jumpin' bean. Where is Glen?"
"That's why we're early." Kai replied, pulling out Glen's iCoffin. "Please, we need your help. Glen's been witchnapped!"
Kai hit 'play' on the device and Glen's last video started to play. As it went on, Scarie snatched up the iCoffin, gripping it so hard in her hands that Rory feared it was going to crack. As the video came to an abrupt end, Scarie looked up with flashes of lightning in her amazing eyes.
"Dose Murks! Always able to ruin a perfectly nice howliday!"
"You KNOW those normies?!" Nero exclaimed.
"I do, unfortunately." Scarie replied, handing the iCoffin back to Kai. "De Murk 'Dynasty' as dey call demsel'. Dey are witch hunters, a famous family of monster hunters on par wit' de Van Hellsings. But dat was two hundred fears ago. De current batch are about as smart as a dead stump in de swamp. I don' normally pay dem no mind on account'a how useless dey are at witch huntin'."
"Will they hurt Glen?" Rory asked, worridly. Scarie snorted in a decidedly undignified way.
"Gorey be, I doubt dey have any idea what to do with a witch now dat dey done caught one. Scarie sighed, and whisked the boys out of the foyer into her large, frightfully decorated sitting doom. "I shoulda dealt wit' dem a long time ago, but I thought dey was harmless. Dis is all my fault."
Nero nudged Kai and mouthed 'not our fault!' The two of them shared the tiniest of solemn bro-fists.
"What do we do, ma'am?" Rory asked, wringing his hands. "I tried to find Glen using mirror-magic, but I couldn't locate him. What do we do? What do we do?!"
"Well first, chile, you can stop callin' me ma'am. It's auntie Scarie to you, jus' like it is to all de monster children I keep under my protection. And as for what we do now....we have tea."
"Tea?" Asked Nero.
"Tea?" Asked Kai.
"Tee?" Asked Rory, misunderstanding the stitchuation completely.
"Yes. We have tea an' we wait. De Murks will make dere next move soon 'nuff..."
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2014 1:05 am
"This angle! Right here!" Pa Murk called as he and Junior were busy rearranging the cameras to better accommodate the light over their home territory in the Boosiana swamp.
"How's this?" Ma Murk asked as she set the one camera less than ten feet away from a bewildered but none the less scared Glen Da West who, without his wand, was pretty much left to the mercy of these oddball normies. He wasn't even sure if his beasties were aware something had happened to him yet.
"Perfect ma!" Pa said with a gap toothed smile. "That'll be the one we use fer closeups when we finish this recordin' for Scarie."
"What do you have against my Aunty?" Glen asked with a frown. Scared, yes, but he was still quite loyal to family -- even if said family scared the boojeebers out of him. "She didn't do anything to you!"
Pa turned with a dark look in his eyes and started to walk towards the cage, shaking a finger at the witch boy trapped inside. He said, "That 'aunty' of yours is a blight on all that's good in Booisianna, boy! A blight we mean to clean up, and you're gonna be the bait fer our..."
*ZAP!*
Pa got close enough that Glen reached through the bars and touched his beard, igniting it in a charge of static magical energy -- resulting in Pa's grizzled beard now resembling cotton candy!
"Cut! Cut!" Pa bellowed out as Cletus ran forward with a comb that was missing several teeth and tried to yank it through the beard of his old man, but it proved to be quite impossible what with years of neglect and matting. Pa turned to Glen and glared, "Boy! I should..."
"Hey NOW I remember you!" Glen's eyes widened. "You're the Murks!"
Pa and Cletus blinked, and smiles crept up slowly on their dirty faces.
"That's right!" Pa said proudly. "How did ye..."
"Didn't you have a reality show that got cancelled after half an episode?"
"EDIT!!!"
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2014 10:45 am
Glen watched as Cletus and Pa Murk wandered back into the house to get a fresh batch of whatever video tape was, because apparently Glen's questions and points of interest had caused them to use up what they had installed in the cameras for the original 'take'. Granny Murk, the wizened old matriarch of the Murks, continued fanning the flames of the outdoor brick oven, preparing their food.
"Say, what are you making for supper?" Glen asked, his curiosity overriding his natural fear at being a prisoner to those unwashed normies. "Smells like kelpie stew."
"It's rabbit stew, not..." Granny Murk frowned and looked over at the cage. "What in tarnation is kelpie stew?"
"W-what's..." Glen looked aghast that smeone, even a normie, didn't know what the best, most absofantastical food in monsterdom was! "It's just the BEAST food imaginable! My mom's chef makes it for me at least once a week!"
"She a good cook?" Ma Murk asked.
"My mom?"
"No!" Granny Murk barked. "Yer ma's chef!"
"Oh my mom's chef isn't a 'she'." Glen shook his head. "It's a 'he'."
The sound of a ladle being dropped clattered over the stones the brick oven was built on and Glen found the two Murk women staring at him with wonder.
"What? What is it?" Glen fidgeted and then rubbed his nose. "I got a boog?"
Ma Murk crept closer and asked, "Are you tellin' us that a man does the cookin' in yer home?"
"Sure." Glen shrugged, not seeing what the big deal was. "The chef's a manster. So are half the staff, actually. Cooking, laundry, cleaning..."
"Cleanin'!?" Ma's jaw almost hit the ground and she turned to look at Granny who seemed just as surprised by this little tidbit of news. "AND laundry!?"
"That there's jest unnatural." Granny muttered and turned back to tending to the meal.
Only then did Ma turn back to the caged witch boo and found his eyes misting over, looking woeful and sad, much like a critter.
"What's going to happen to me?" Glen asked with a combination sniffle and choked back sob.
"The men haven't decided yet." Ma Murk answered. "I reckon they'll figure it out once they take care of that aunty of yers."
"B-but.. *hiccup* ... I want to g-g- h-h-home!" Glen stuttered. "I *hiccup* miss m-m-m-my friends!"
"Land sakes..." Ma muttered as she found herself lost in those darling, puppy dog eyes. She had a hound with eyes much like that and loved that pooch something fierce. And here this poor little boy, er, boo, was in a case and he reminded her so much. "You poor dear. Here. I jest can't stand to see you..."
But just as soon as she started to unlatch the lock on the cage's door, another hand swung up and snapped it shut again, almost catching Glen's finger's.
"Ma! What do you think yer doin'!?" Pa Murk demanded. "We need him to catch Scarie!"
"Settin' this poor boy free, that's what!" Ma answered and started to open the latch again, but again Pa shut it right back in place. "We got no right keepin' him here against his..."
"Boy!" Pa barked and straight away, Cletus came bounding out of the Murk shack. "Take yer Ma inside! She's done been bewitched by this here boy's EVIL EYE!"
"Oh no! Ma!" Cletus cried and he shuffled the protesting Ma Murk inside of the home, right past Granny.
Only then did Pa turn back to look at his prisoner and his eyes flashed in anger and annoyance and Glen swallowed, taking a step back.
"Think yer clever, huh boy? Rotten apples don't fall far from the tree, I'll tell ya that!"
"Um... huh?"
"Don't you worry none!" Pa smiled. "We know what to do with witches around these here parts!"
And that being said, Pa grabbed the bars of the cage and started rolling it down towards... Glen's eyes widened... the lake! Glen's head whipped back around and shook his head.
"Please... no!"
"Oh yes!" Pa snorted back a laugh. "Scared now, are ya? Good! That'll jest make this even sweeter!"
"Don't!" Glen cried but Pa Murk simply pushed the wooden cage onto the water where it acted like a raft and floated out toward the middle of the swamp's lake.
Glen was effectively trapped, alone and scared. He couldn't do much magic without his wand, but he had one spell down pat and slowly levitated up to make certain his ruby sneakers didn't get touched by any water that might soak through the logs of the cage's bottom -- but how long could he do this?
"Now!" Pa turned back as Cletus emerged again with a fresh video tape for the camera. "To send that Voodoo witch a message with our demands!"
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 9:39 am
Nero tried not to fidget with the teacup in his big hands. He was used to handling mics, cable, heavy things that needed to be lifted up somewhere...this delicate little bowl of gore-celain felt like it could shatter at any moment. Scarie didn't seem the type to keep red plastic cups around for substitute.
Kai and Nero perched self-consciously among the pillows on the divan. Nero, though a sick dresser with impeccable taste, didn't wear a lot of bling when he traveled. He felt positively under-dressed. Kai managed to clash extra hard with everything in the room and tried to edge away slowly from the leopard pillows. Rory was relieved to settle down in in a pile of throw pillows and soft quilted blankets on a fauteuil. Quackford respectfully sat in a nearby punch bowl Scarie thoughtfully had filled with water and set atop an end table.
A zombie came in and set a plate of macadoomia nut brownies between the bros.
Scarie sat across from them, staring intimidatingly with her wide yellow eyes.
"Dees are from de beast bakery in New Goreleans. De chef likes to tip my salon in baked goods and while I don' normally encourage dis, I make exceptions."
"One of the perks!" Nero said cheerfully, putting his cup down gratefully and grabbing a much less breakable brownie.
"So, 'ow was dee drive?" Scarie asked.
Kai and Nero hexchanged looks.
"Fine."
"Uneventful."
"Nothing unusual happened at all."
"We never got lost."
"Especially not twice."
"Yeah, espec- wait whut?"
"We saw a giant ball of string!"
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Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 8:07 am
*Bwa ha ha ha*Scarie's computer pinged with an ominous laugh, and she rose from the couch."Sounds like someone just e-mauled my salon."The boys all crowded around Scarie as she sat at the computer and clicked on the new e-maul.Quote: From: Pa@MurkDynasty.tvSubject: WE GOT UR BOY SCARIE LEVOO WE GOT UR BOY!!11!!! IF U WANT HIM U SURRENDER 2 US WE PROMISE!!!1111!!!! "Didn't you say that these guys once had a television deal? How can you work in TV if you can't even turn off the caps lock button?" Scarie shrugged."Dere show only lasted part of one episode. Like I told ya boos, de Murk Dynasty ain't what it used to be. Dey clingin' to a way of life dat shoulda gone de way of de dodo." "Hey...." Rory tapped Marie's shoulder. "There's an attachment on the e-maul.""They've figured out how to do attachments! We're all doomed!" Nero added, sarcastically. Scarie smirked."Sit down, my boos. Let's see what de Murk Dynasty has to say...." She downloaded the attachment and pressed 'play.'
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Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 7:45 am
Scarie sat at the chair in front of her desk, her cat-like gaze glued to the computer as Rory, Kai and Nero gathered around near her so that they too might see what had just been delivered to her through the miracles of modern technology -- a miracle in itself given that the Murks managed to figure out how to actually accomplish anything remotely technological.
The video finished downloading, and the moment Scarie pressed 'play', the video player popped up with a closeup of what appeared to be a wiry brillow pad.
"Boy! Ye got that dern camera facin' the wrong way!"
"No pop! It's aimin' right atcha!"
"You nincompoop! It's aimed into yer own beard!"
"Well I'll be! An' here ah thought ah had me a closeup of Granny's chin!"
*THWAP!*
"Ow! Granny! What was that fer!?"
Scarie glanced back up at the three boos and exhaled in a sigh of supreme annoyance.
"How dose fools ever managed to trap my li'l Jumpin' Bean is beyond me!"
Their eyes turned back to the computer screen as the video shot was forcibly turned around so that the camera was now aimed in the general direction of Pa Murk in front of the large swamp lake that surrounded the shack of the Murk family and dead center of the Booisianna Bayou.
Pa Murk announced with a grand sweep of his arms, "An' now we are fixin' to present to ye the next excitin' edition of the Murk Dynasty, where the world' famous and most universally respected family of witch hunters come to you live with a message for none other than the Scourge of Booisianna, the Voodoo Queen herself, Scarie Leveau!"
Cletus Murk applauded politely with a "Hooray." but then stopped and looked around at his family members glaring at him. "Sorry. Thought we was s'possed to applaud celebrities like her."
"Boy!" Granny barked, making the young Murk flinch. "She ain't no celebrity! She's an abomination to all that's good n' pure in our world!"
"Right!" Pa Murk agreed and turned back to face the camera. "An' that there is what we intend to correct on this the latest edition of the Murk Dynasty!"
Ma Murk chorused, "Dun dun DUN!"
"They could really use a sound effects team." Nero murmured between his fangs.
"This message," Pa Murk said. "Is being sent directly to the Voodoo Queen herself. You are to come to the Bayou Swamp where we live -- alone! Unarmed! None of yer fancy voodoo tricks on ye! You will surrender to us so we can air yer cleansin' live! So that we will prove that the MURKS are the most dominant family of monster hunters alive today -- an' NOT the Van Helscreams!"
"Does he really hexpect you to...?" Rory started to say aloud.
"And to ensure you do exactly what we say..." Pa Murk smiled, showing his teeth -- all eight of them. "Well, every mouse trap needs a bit of cheese."
Pa stepped aside and showed what none of them watching hexpected.
A very frightened Glen stranded on a caged raft in the middle of the swamp lake, floating up to keep his feet from getting wet and thus, melting into the swamp itself. Somehow the Murks had accidentally fallen into a very smart tactic against their quarry.
"Oh no..."
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Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 12:12 pm
"They're gonna melt him!" Nero wrung his claws. "They're gonna melt minibro!"
"This is decidedly not gnarly." Kai agreed. Maybe they'd made a mistake not going straight to Glen's mom, threats of grounding forever or not. None of them wanted to see their little green bro turned into a puddle of goo. "Scarie, what's a 'cleansing?' I mean, they don't really just want you to take a bath or something, do they?"
"That'd be pretty hypocritical of them." Rory chimed in, wrinkling his shiny nose. "I don't think any of them have seen the business end of a bathtub this century."
"De 'cleansing' isn't like dat." Scarie replied, standing up and sashaying over to her looming bookshelf on the other side of the parlor. "It's a ritual dat Witch Hunters created t'rob a witch of her powers an' render her harmless. Here. You see what it involved in dese diagrams."
She flipped open a book and set it down on a coffee table for the young boos to look at. Rory took one glance, felt dizzy and staggered away, covering his mouth. Kai's tail started rattling. Even Nero, who'd traveled the world and seen things that would turn your fur white, looked a little pale.
"Th....that's what they want to do to you?"
"The spikes, the ferretts!" Rory moaned. "I don't care if the word is forbitten, those diagrams look DANGEROUS!"
Scarie slapped the cover of the book shut, to everyone's relief.
"It is dangerous, mon petit Rory. When witch hunters fell out of style, so did de cleansing ritual, 'cept for the backwater inbred morons of dis' Murk Dynasty."
"I don't want you to be cleansed, Aunt Scarie, especially not on our first Fangsgiving." Rory pleaded. "But how are we gonna save Glen and prevent that? There are so many of them, and only a few of us."
Kai scratched his head at the base of one of his horns.
"Well, we have lots of advantages over them."
"What's that, bro?" Nero asked.
"We've got a sphinx who benches boulders on the freakend, a mirror witch, we've got my stealth and my early warning system-" Kai pointed at his tail. "And we've got the Voodoo Queen on our side! Plus, don't forget the most important thing."
Kai tapped his temple.
"We have more than half a brain between all of us."
Rory and Nero looked at each other and nodded.
"You're right! We just need a plan." Scarie and the boos fell silent as they brainscorned. Rory looked at one of the beautiful, rot-iron-framed mirrors Scarie had mounted on the parlor wall.
"It's too bad there isn't a mirror in their lair," Rory lamented. "That would make everything a lot easier."
Kai blinked. He looked at Nero, who looked at Scarie. A smile started to creep across her face, as she caught on.
"Dat's good," She replied, "Dat's very, very good! After all, what proper Voodoo Queen comes a'callin' to someone's abode, and doesn't present dem wit' a housewarmin' gift first?"
Scarie's skirts swept up as she walked over to the wall and started unfastening the mirror....
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Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2014 10:47 am
Thursday Morning. Fangsgiving for some, Thanksgiving for others.
A goodly distance away from any paved road, a courier truck bounced up and down the uneven muddy ruts worn into the ground as it carefully wound its way to a rickety old shack in front of a great, steamy swamp.
The courier truck had the name "DeadEx" emblazoned on the side. The driver, an emaciated zombie, moaned as he made the last turn and slowly skidded to a stop in front of the ramshackle shanty. With a determined, loping gait, he pulled a large package out of the back of his truck and slowly carried it to the front door.
*Knock. Knock. Knock.*
He rapped on the door, which nearly caved in with every knock. Inside of the shack, there was the sound of movement and shouting. Finally, the door swung open, and the gristled, bearded face of Pa Murk poked out.
"Whaddaya want?! This better not be the start of some cotton-pickin' zombie invasion! We're witch hunters! Not zombie-slayers! That's not our department!"
"Uuuuhhgggghhh." The courier held up the package. Pa raised a suspicious eyebrow.
"What's dis now? Well, well, well. If'n dat return address isn't Scarie LeVeau's hersel'n. CLETUS! Git yore worthless hide over hyar right now!"
More sounds of scuffling rang out from inside of the Murk residence. Cletus sleepily poked his head outside the door too.
"Whut is it, pa?" He asked, rubbing his crusty eyes.
"De Voodoo Queen done sent us somethin' and I need you to open it on account'a it's probably a bomb or a trap'a some kind."
"Whut? Why would I open it if'n it's a bomb?! I don't wanna be blowed tuh pieces!"
"You want yore pa tuh open it instead? An' have me be blowed tuh smithereens? On Thanksgivin'?! Cletus Murk, I am disappointed in you. Tuh think you'd wish that on yore own paw!" Pa Murk shook his head, causing some crumbs to tumble out of his beard. Cletus looked nearly ready to cry after his tongue-lashing.
"I'm a-sorry, paw! I'll open it right now, even if'n I do get blowed tuh bits!" And with that, Cletus snatched the package away from the zombie courier who groaned and held out a pen for Pa Murk to sign for the package. As Cletus tore into the paper and the box, Pa positioned himself carefully behind the zombie courier in case of any Cleus-shaped shrapnel, and signed for the box.
"Hey, Pa! Good news! It ain't no bomb!" Cletus called out with a joyful yelp. The zombie courier groaned and shuffled back to his truck. "It's a mirror!"
"A mirror?! Now dat sure'n sounds like somethin' tricksy comin' from Scarie LeVeau. Better smash dat thing into a million pieces right now!" Pa held up an improvised club, made from the handle of the nearest rocking chair sitting on the Murk house porch. Cletus blinked and scratched his head.
"But Pa! Ain't breakin' a mirror a right unlucky thing tuh do? Breakin' a mirror gives yuh seven years bad luck, don't it?!"
Pa hesitated, looking down at the fancy, expensive-looking mirror. He admired his reflection in it. Grizzled beard, crazy overlong eyebrows, gray hairs shooting up everywhere - that there sure was a handsome face staring back at him!
"You're right, Clete!" Pa agreed, lowering his club. "Dat's probably what dat nasty witch was plannin' all along. She was gonna curse us with black magic bad luck afore comin' here tuh get her cleansin'! Well, we'll show her!"
Cletus, proud at having figured out Scarie's plan, grinned as wide as his nearly-empty mouth would allow him and scooped the mirror up. Pa turned it towards himself, admiring his look as he licked his hand and patted down the hairs left on the top of his head.
"Yessir, dis a mighty fine turn of events for us Murks," He posited. "We done outthought Scarie LeVeau again. Here, hang dis mirror up right here in de hallway, Cletus. Dat way I can admire how handsome I am every time afore I go do my bidness in the outhouse."
"Shore thing, Pa!" Cletus replied, fastening the mirror on the wall with a large, rusty nail. "Done!"
"Great! Now git on over here an' check on dat little green witchling while yore ma and I finish wrangling de ferrets for de cleansin."
"You got it, Pa!" Cletus paused, taking a little time to check out his own reflection in the mirror, sticking out his tongue and licking his lips before striking a pose he'd seen just last Friday when he'd snuck into the Monster Cinema and watched the newest Veronica Von Vamp film. "Loo-kin' sharp!"
He gave his reflection a thumbs up before turning to head out to the swamp to check on Glen. Little did he realize, as he left, that his reflection remained. It lowered the thumbs up, looked left and right, and smirked a little bit.
"It worked!" Rory informed his cohorts, quietly. "We're in!"
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Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:01 pm
"Hexcellent!" Scarie said, and before they knew it, Rory's talents with mirror magic saw them suddenly switched from the foyer of Scarie's grand Booisianna manor, to the rickety old shack hallway of the Murk shack.
Scarie gave Rory a pat on the shoulder for his good work, earning a smile on the face of the mirror witch. Why his cousin Glen seemed so skittish around their mutual "Auntie" was beyond him.
Kai's tail then started to rattle and he quickly grabbed it with both hands, attempting to silence it. What set off his 'danger alarm' was evident enough as they heard clopping foot steps in the hall and the quartet quickly ducked for cover! Scarie hid behind the drapes! Rory grabbed the lamp shade from the lone lamp and fit it over his own head! Kai dove behind the ratty old sofa, and Nero looked around wildly for but a brief moment before he grabbed the old animal coats and held them at arms length, pretending to be a coat rack.
They remained that way as Granny Murk muttered to herself as she moved past the front room of the shack and toward the kitchen to continue with the vittles for the Murk Thanksgiving. She paused a moment where Nero was standing and looked over their 'coat rack', straightened Pa's raccoon jacket, then went on her way.
Once she was gone, the three boos and Scarie came out of hiding, all four covered with the dust that seemed caked on -- everything! They whispered each in hushed tones, so as not to alert the Murks.
"Whew!" Rory wiped a bead of sweat from his brow. "That was close!"
"I thought the old gal would think something was up." Nero observed, knowing she was looking right at him at the time.
"I'm s'prised she didn'." Scarie said as she stepped lightly down the hall and checked on Granny who was busying herself in the kitchen, banging pots and pans. She rejoined them and shook her head, "Dat dere was Granny Murk, the only real dangerous one of dem all." She looked at Nero and shook her finger at the large Sphinx boo. "None o' dat charm of yours would be workin' on her."
"Where do you think Glen is being kept?" Kai asked and everyone turned to Rory.
He answered, "I overheard the two mansters, er, men, through the mirror. He's being kept outside while the two parents round up the... ferrets." Rory shuddered.
"An' that dumb bag o' bricks boo of deirs is guardin' Glen, which works well enough for us." Scarie said. "But we have to act quickly. I imagine Glen's been up all night, tryin' to stay levitatin'."
"What's the plan?" Nero asked, adjusting his glasses.
"You, come wit' me." Scarie answered, much to Nero's delight. "You can handle that big foo' Cletus Murk I am certain." Rory and Kai could almost swear they saw Nero flex a bicep at this prospect.
"Kai dere will act as our warnin' system. Anyone starts comin' back, he'll know. An' Rory will be ready to get us back outta here. You." She then looked to Kai. "You bring Glen's wand?"
"Yeah." Kai nodded, reaching into his pocket and withdrawing Glen's iCoffin. "But how are we supposed to get it to him? He's in the middle of a swamp lake."
Scarie frowned for a moment, unsure herself on the answer when she glanced at Nero, and the new friend the big boo had made during the bro-ad trip to New Goreleans. Nero followed her golden cat-eyes and to where he was idly scratching Quackford's feathers.
"Airmail." Scarie smiled.
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 7:53 am
As Nero and Scarie snuck out to circle around to the front of the shack, Kai and Rory made their way further into the Murk Dynasty home. Kai had no problem blending into the shadows and Quackford was small enough to avoid detection, but Rory just reflected the shines of the gaslamps on the walls, casting lights everywhere as he moved. Kai put a claw on Rory's shoulder.
"Rory, bro. You're going to attract too much attention. Isn't there anything you can do about that?"
"Hm..." Rory thought for a bit. His eyes glowed purple briefly, and-
"Woah!" Suddenly, Kai was looking at an identical copy of himself. Or, rather, a mirror image of himself. Rory could have passed as Kai's twin brother, except with everything reversed. Kai gave his look an appraising nod. Plaid pants, striped bowling shirt, tasteful paisley tie - that was one good-looking manster standing in front of him. "I didn't know you could do that!"
"As long as you're close enough for me to reflect, I can." Rory replied, in what was decidedly his own voice and not Kai's. "That's better, right? Stealthier?"
"Yeah, much better. Very much improved!" Kai paused long enough to run a claw through his bangs and check his teeth. Rory gave him a little nudge. "Oops. Sorry! Let's go."
Turning a corner, the two boos and Quackford came upon what had to be the kitchen. It was slightly less filthy and dust-covered than the rest of the house. Also-
"Look!" Kai pointed towards the furthest part of the kitchen. There was clearly a back door there, slightly ajar. As the breeze blew across the swamp, the door clattered in the frame, revealing the pathway down to the swamp, where a large wooden cage was floating.
"That's the way to Glen!" Rory-as-Kai hexclaimed. "What are we waiting for?!"
"Wait!" Kai hissed in a whisper. His tail gave off a warning rattle. He pointed to a corner near the stove. Blocking their path to the door was a lumpy figure seated in a kitchen chair near the stove...Ma Murk. Her head was lolled off to one side. A fly landed on her chin, and she gave off a snoring snort.
That was some bad luck right there. If either of them awoke Ma Murk, she'd raise the alarm and the rest of the Murks would know that Scarie hadn't come alone. It could have endangered their entire plan. Kai looked at Rory, and Rory looked back at Kai.
There was nothing they could do now, but wait until Scarie LeVeau 'arrived' and attracted all of the attention to the front of the house...
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