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 Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:35 pm
"Mmmm..." Ikkio was intrigued. She'd never seen her parents fight, and the idea that they could be capable of something so novel was baffling to her.
She considered Ikuri's question, the first time she'd considered anything her sister said with any real weight. "I don't think so..." she said finally, her eyes intent and cold on her mother, seeking and searching. She didn't know. Mommy had just shown herself to be capable of anything. Maybe she would try to play the game with them.
"But even if she does..." she turned to look at her sister, her smile unpleasant yet, oddly, charming - a rare moment of honesty for her face, "We know what she's doing. We'll win." she said, confident and cheerful... and cruel. She turned back to the scene unfolding in front of them.
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:00 pm
Her voice was so cold. He could feel her sharp words cutting away at him, like a blade of wrath and shame. He flinched away, though she did not hit him or yell at him.
There were things he could say in his defense. I assumed that Yaholo's boys were being looked after, so I assumed our girls were as well. or I didn't have time to think or I was so busy. Those were all excuses he could make.
But no words could leave while she told him off. They died between his brain, his throat, and his mouth.
It was very clear now. He had not done well. He hadn't been a good father. He'd failed his wife and his girls. They could have been hurt, kidnapped, or worse. And it was his fault. His. Only his. He believed her. He wanted to cry.
But then, he realized. Zuri had said the girls were safe. The girls. Were. Safe. His girls had kept themselves safe.
Anger began to spark under the shame, and it grew and grew until it consumed it. Why was it all somehow his fault? He had been there, lending his hands to the war effort. He had worked hard, and directed others to work hard, and they had saved lives. Saved them. How many lives had she taken?
"Zuri..." he murmured, finding his voice. He had done so much. Seen so much. She wasn't going to belittle him anymore. And she was not going to treat him like the villain. He would not let her. "ZURI." he'd been in a cringing and submissive posture, but he straightened, looking her in the eyes, his face flushed with his own anger. "Have you any idea how many star's-crossed lives I've saved today?! While you were out there fighting, I was here. Yes. I... I failed." his voice caught at the memory of the people who he hadn't been able to save, not even with the legion of helpers at his disposal. People who died in his arms, at his hands, or simply the moment he'd looked away. The memory made him even angrier. "I failed many times today, and those failures now lie, graveless, in a small Jahuaran meadow. I succeeded, too, and those successes are now here, recovering, resting..." he crossed his arms. "Alive." he had to stand up on his toes slightly to stare her in the eyes, but he did it anyway. "And the girls, as you have admitted, are fine.So forgive me" he said, his voice clipped, a hint of heat and lightning in his words, "If I don't count that as one of my failures."
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:35 pm
When he started to talk, straightening up and looking at her with anger in his eyes she was in disbelief. Why was he mad at her? She had done nothing wrong. Their deal was that she would go to war to protect them all and he would stay with the girls. She had done her part of the deal, she had gone and risked her life to keep them all safe. He was the one who hadn't kept his end of the bargain up. No he was not allowed to be mad at her.
She left him finish, her arms crossed before her chest and the icey look she was giving him like none she had ever given. He could he count dead people that they didn't know as failures, but not the loss of his daughters? Wasn't his daughters more important than anyone else? She surely thought so, and was aghast to find out that he didn't.
"I don't care if you saved a million lives, it wouldn't make a difference to me. Those people chose to go out to fight, they chose to possibly end their life. Our girls didn't choose anything. You are right, they are fine, but they should be fine because of their father. Ikuri was with the boys, but Ikkio was with some woman I've never seen before the whole time! The girls are fine because of luck, and that isn't okay. I can't believe you put more value on the lives of strangers than your own daughters..." by the end her voice was not just anger, it was pain and astonishment. Was this the man she married? The man whose children she had?
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:39 pm
Ikuri nodded slowly. She didn't think that her mom would play the game with them, if so she would have done it already when she found them apart or when they were both finally together. So that meant it was just their father getting in trouble...
When her sister turned at her she nodded. Ikkio was right, they already knew about the game so they could win the game. "But is that game even one that doesn't start can win?" she asked curiously. She didn't play games like that one, they weren't that fun and were kind of mean. But she knew that her sister could play them. As long as Ikkio knew how than maybe they had some hope.
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 5:13 pm
"You don't care?!" he snapped back, "They chose to fight to protect the freedom of me, and you, and our girls. None of them went out there to die, Zuri... But some of them did." He was tense now, exhaustion quickly burning away to an anger that was red and raw and keep and not entirely directed at Zuri.
"You were fighting out there too, Zuri. If you had gotten hurt..." which she hadn't, "Wouldn't you have wanted all hands and beds and magic to be available to you?" he gestured, dramatically and violently, to himself. "I would have wanted that. I would have wanted you to be taken care of, not shunted to some holding area in favor of some other poor b*****d. So that is what I made sure happened." His words were enunciated and fervent, his stammer lost in the wrath. "And maybe you shouldn't have gone to war, or we should have left them with Reshel, or... or..." he made an exasperated sound, "I don't know. But obviously, they took care of themselves. So..." His voice became a growl "Why don't you stop being selfish and acknowledge that?!" he regretted the words the moment they flew from his mouth, like avenging sprites out for mischeif. "How can you refuse to believe" he couldn;t believe it as his mouth just kept going. "...that it wasn't just luck that kept them from harm?!"
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 5:21 pm
Ikkio didn't answer, though she could, because daddy was doing something he had never done before.
He had never yelled like that, not at her, or Ikuri, or Zuri. At the man, yes. But never to any of them.
But here he was, yelling, snarling, growling, at Mommy.
Mommy was playing games, Daddy was yelling... Ikkio's universe was turning on its head. She stared at them, a little frightened. This was not how the world was supposed to work. She was supposed to know these things. She frowned, only now concerned.
It was one thing for Mommy to be smart. It was another thing for DAddy to be angry. She had seen little bits of both before, so it was a surprise - and yet not - that they were these things.
But to see it so... naked. So wild and confusing... this was just unnerving. For a moment, Ikkio wondered if she really wanted to see this at all. Any of this.
But she had to keep watching. Maybe then it would make sense. She moved a little closer to Ikuri, leaning against her sister slightly. She didn't know why she did it, only that it was good to have a constant there.
Unless... Unless ikuri did something unexpected and confusing and not a part of Ikkio's unknown (even to herself) master plan. Anything could happen in this strange world.
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 6:15 pm
He was yelling at her, and it was starting to draw some attention. She had not yelled on purpose, they were not in private enough that yelling was okay. It was embarrassing to Zuri, to have strangers watch their marriage crumble. And crumble it was, in her mind. Her husband had never yelled at her before this, and she did not like it one bit. Still she would remain calm, cold, but calm.
"But everyone who went out there knew that they could die. They went out there to protect our freedom, and were willing to die for it. They died and they died heroes. But it is what it is." she said back to him. She went out there knowing there was a possibility that she could have been hurt, or killed, but knowing she wouldn't die. "I was hurt, and I'm thankful for those who healed me..." she took a deep breath. "However if the man who healed me had children he had to take care of, I rather he take care of them." she said with a final nod of her head. Children were the future, if she died she died, if something happened to her children... No that wouldn't happen.
When he said that she should have stayed she laughed. "I said I would stay, I offered to stay. YOU were the one who said I could go and that you would watch them. If I thought for a second you wouldn't hold true to you're word I wouldn't have gone." she spit out at him. Her hands were cold with the little ice magic she possessed. This was not going well. And than he dared to call her selfish! How dare he! "Selfish? I'm selfish? I went out to risk my life for the better of everyone, something that you and I agreed on. Please do tell me how I'm being selfish?" she said with a shake of her head.
"Oh I know it was more than just luck. It was the Gods watching over them, and the brains they were blessed with. They are smart girls and that also had to do with them being smart. However that wasn't what should have kept them safe. What should have kept them safe was their father." no he wasn't going to convince her that he was right, because in no way was he.
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 6:18 pm
Ikkio didn't answer her, and that made her almost more worried than what was happening in front of her. Her father was screaming at her mom. Screaming, and her mom was just standing there being cold. She was mean also, but it was a different kind of mean, that much Ikuri knew... She didn't like this at all. Her parents never fought, they did gross things like kiss and bring each other gifts, but they didn't fight.
When her sister moved closer to her Ikuri took Ikkio's hand. "I'm scared..." she admitted silently to her sister. They should have listened to her mom and gone and played... Now there was no turning back from what she was seeing and hearing.
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 8:55 am
Ikkio wasn't sure if she regretted her curiosity. Things were out of her control and she didn't like that. She didn't like what was happening. She didn't like any of this. She squeezed her sister's hand for comfort, her eyes locked on the scene below them. She was quiet for a moment as the argument continued to unfold.
"Me too." she admitted, even quieter, if that was possible.
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 9:24 am
At least he'd gotten her to say it. That their girls were smart. Smart and beautiful and independent. Just like their mother.
"And don't you think those children would rather he take care of you?!" he wasn't even trying not to scream anymore. He was angry. Just plain angry. "Don't you think they'd rather you not die because of them?!"
He knew it was a weak argument, but despite the fact that she made sense and that the 'usual him' wanted to back down and give in and bow down before her mercy, he was just too... angry. At the Obans. At her. At the world. He had to fight something, and he wasn't going to let her say these things to him. Not today.
"Yes. You did. You went out to fight the war for everyone." he acquiesced, "But right now you're just caring about yourself. About us. Not about the bigger picture." He could feel his magic rising to the surface again, trying to lash out in his anger. He'd spent the whole day forcing it to mend, and he could feel it longing to destroy. But not his wife. He refused to let it loose. Stay. he told it, stay. but he could feel its heat just below his skin.
"How dare you imply" his voice was searing, the words like magma, "That I do not love my children." he jabbed a finger at her, "I would tear out my heart, with my own hands. I'd burn this whole star's-damned forest to ashes. I'd kill - I have killed..." and he still - STILL remembered the screams, "for our girls. For you. and you know it. " He leaned in, his face close and flushed, his breath hissing and hot. "But there are more important things than you, or me, or - yes - our daughters" he hated the words as he said them, hated himself for saying them. But, he realized, with a sadness that settled, like the evening mist of Jahuar, heavily on his soul, they were true. He took a deep breath, recovering from his own statement. "We're fighting for a whole land Zuri. A whole people. A whole way of life." he drew back, breathing heavily, "A whole future." he finished, "And you'll just have to deal with it." he felt himself beginning to wilt, exhaustion reaching his tendrils into him, bit by bit, replacing fury with.. nothing. Bit by bit.
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 9:54 am
"Of course no child wants to lose their parents. But you who is looking at the 'bigger picture' should see that the future is in the children. Let's say we win the whole war, but all the children are taken from us, does it really matter that we won in the first time? No." she said trying to throw his point in his face. "No I found for my family. And being selfish is if I went for me, but I went for us and that is not selfish." she jabbed at him.
When he jabbed his finger at her her ice leaped towards his hand. It wasn't something she meant to do, she would never want to hurt her husband, but she was just trying to learn to control the magic inside of her and it seemed when her temper flared up her ability to control the ice inside of her decreased. However she was so mad that she barely noticed, her anger consuming her at this point.
He was right in one thing, she knew that he cared about the girls, she knew that he killed for them. However he was very wrong in saying that there was anything more important than their daughters. "You are wrong Biroki. Wrong in thinking that anything will ever be more important than them. The whole land could be taken over by the Oban's, and as long as they are fine I wouldn't care. If I thought we were really going to lose and I saw a chance to take our daughters to safety I would. They matter more than anything." this was something she would never back down on, and she was astonished that she had to fight her husband on.
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 9:57 am
Mommy used magic, and against their father! She had only seen magic from her father, he was the one teaching her, but never from her mother. Even if her mother did have magic she wouldn't use it against their father, he wasn't a bad guy. This scared her more and for a second she looked down at the hand that held her sisters. She would never use magic to hurt Ikkio, no matter how mad she was she would never do it.
"Maybe we should go play now..." she suggested halfheartedly. She knew that they couldn't go play now, it wouldn't be the same, she couldn't do and she was pretty sure her sister couldn't either.
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 10:45 am
"I wasn't talking about losing their parents. Do you think any child wants to be responsible for a death?! Do you think anybody wants to be responsible for a death?!"
He felt, to his surprise, ice encase his hand with a deadly, alien cold. His own magic reacted, flaring up, the ice melting away from his hand.
His nerves tingled in the wake of freeze and thaw, but also in his wake, he felt more of that empty void. He had used so much magic today, even though he'd tried to be frugal with it. He was out. Spent.
He was, he realized, so very tired. He wavered.
Couldn't this fight just stop? Couldn't he just give in, tell his wife that she was right, and be done?
No. he had to keep going. He couldn't give up without a fight. "You went for us." he repeated, "Not for our tribe, not for our allies, but for us. Thats a different kind of selfishness, but its still selfish." He didn't know what was keeping him standing. Ire? That had to be it. Pure frustration.
"If the Obans take over, what sort of life would that be?!" He snapped, "Slavery?! Humiliation?! Fear?!" Death? "No, it would not be all right, they would not be all right, nobody would be all right then."
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 10:52 am
Mommy used magic on daddy. Daddy did not use magic on mommy. Mommy and daddy were shouting at each other. Mommy and daddy were angry at each other. And ikuri was unhappy.
The universe was falling apart.
She couldn't stop it.
Everything was wrong.
Ikkio was scared.
She shook her head slowly at her sisters comment. She didn't want to play right now. She wasn't playing right now. All the rules were broken, and the game wasn't very fun right now.
She was very close to her sister now, and she was surprised to find wetness on her hand, like a raindrop.
It wasn't raining.
She looked at her sister, but her sister wasn't crying.
Wetness on her face.
She was crying.
Ikkio had never REALLY cried before. She fake-cried, and she cried when she was upset, but never out of fear or sadness. This was wrong. It felt wrong.
Another rule broken.
She looked away, closing her eyes. She didn't know why she was crying. She didn't feel anything but terror, frustration, and anger. She wasn't sad... But she was crying, and now that she knew it, she couldn't make it stop...
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 4:31 pm
"What? What do you mean responsible for death? Why would children be responsible for death? Now you are just talking stupid." she said dismissing him. He was stupid, and now just talking nonsense. He just wanted to win, and he wasn't going to win this one. She was sure of that.
He was wrong, that isn't selfish. That is being selfless. She was willing to die for others, that is selfless. "You are wrong. If I went to kill, or just to protect myself that would be selfish. Going for us isn't selfish."
"If they take over I'm taking our daughters somewhere the Oban won't reach. I'm sure I can find somewhere in Zena where we would be safe." she said with a frown. No she wouldn't do that, she wouldn't let the Oban's win, that was the not the world she wanted her girls to grow up in.
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