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 Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 7:48 pm
Nevada's stuttering beginning gave her an odd sense of deja vu, as did Stormy's own words: you're not broken. Wasn't that the exact sentiment Gale had said to her? You are not a problem to be fixed. The feeling strengthened when Nevada crumpled to the ground, just like she had weeks and weeks ago, stopped by Gale on her warpath to give Jack a piece of her mind. Then, she had felt only misery and self-loathing--just like Nevada was now. And Gale had spoken with such enviable conviction--just like Stormy did now.
Full circle.
Stormy let go of her coat and silently knelt to the ground, wrapping her around around Nevada from behind, loose enough to let her breathe but fastened nevertheless. It was a position she was more than familiar with at this point and one she could hold for as long as necessary. Nevada's sobs broke her heart, but the same determination that had made her so decisively optimistic was also stalling the tears. She had to be the strong one now, the big sister.
"You didn't ruin us," she said as soothingly as she could manage, tucking her head behind Nevada's. Half of her words were muffled by hair. "I wasn't going anywhere, I-I swear I wasn't . . ." Both people closest to her had that same fear: that somehow if they didn't hold on tight enough, she'd float away . . . A small shiver went down Stormy's back, and she involuntarily clutched her best friend tighter. What sort of person was she to inspire these doubts?
No, no, that didn't matter now . . . Now she was going to make everything better. Somehow.
"I can. I'll help. I don't know how yet, but I'll--I'll figure something out, I promise. Two things, though: we need Leroy's tablet back." The thing she had forgotten to get in her rush to bring Nevada to the infirmary, Stormy remembered with a pinch of guilt. "The other is your coat. I know you threw it away, Nevada, along with that cupcake . . . But can you promise me you'll wear it anyway?" She was trying to smile, trying to give her words more of that light they both needed. "You worked hard to get here. Whatever happens, you should be proud to show your rank."
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Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:41 pm
"I was afraid you'd go like Alaska, because she left me." She hugged Stormy back tightly, clinging to the smaller girl. "She left me and we were twins, It was only a matter of time till you left me too. I didn't know what to do. And then you...you accepted things for Halloween and you accepted to help Aria...you were getting further away from me, so far away."
She rambled, she rambled until her face turned blue.
It was the multiple deaths, the scary choices you made Stormy, that made Nevada want to hold so tight. So tight she forgot that maybe Stormy was right.
"I don....We can try." She tried not to have that spark, but it still came out. It was still there. "We can try..." She would go back for the coat, but she wasn't sure if she'd wear it, ever again.
"I worked hard to die..." She gave the watery of chuckles, "I'll find it again. We can try to find Leroy...." She shuddered. "We can try."
All they could do was try.
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Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:38 pm
"We'll do more than try: we'll succeed." Crying was okay. Rambling was more okay, she did it all the time. Just as long as Nevada understood she wasn't going to just up and leave like that . . . The very idea of abandonment was too foreign in her head to even comprehend, let alone in this moment. Stormy had not known about the circumstances with Alaska, but it explained a lot. They really were more similar than appearances showed.
She didn't like those words (I worked hard to die), but she only clutched Nevada closer, swallowed down a breath to keep herself steady as her friend shuddered. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier," Stormy mumbled. "I shouldn't've gotten angry with you." Of course she shouldn't have, what was the point of anger now? All it did was create more wounds, made her sound petty. "I guess I just . . . I dunno. You're my sister, you're supposed to tell me everything, not someone else, not--not some boy." She gave a weak laugh; as always, her motives were childish. And maybe that was oversimplifying, but going back into detail again would only try to tear them apart, and she just couldn't handle that idea again when they had been so close just moments before.
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Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:59 pm
A sliver of hope, that's what Stormy gave Nevada. It was more dangerous then a neucler bomb. It was the reason people gave rises to revolutions to rebellion. And when it was crushed, it literally meant nothing was left. There was no fighting back, no other option.
It was a death all by itself. Nevada walked hand in hand with it.
"It's okay..." She offered, "If you didn't tell me, then you would've held on to it till it made you angry...and then we could've never made up. Especially if I do..die." She said it again, a shaky resolution.
She frowned. Then there was a semblance of the former Nevada as she gave Stormy a stern frown.
"You followed me to Otto's room?" She wiped away tears and stared at Stormy, waiting.
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Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:42 pm
Nevada was right, but she still felt the need to apologize nevertheless; then again, she apologized about everything, even things people had no reason to be. At her question, however, Stormy paused.
When she pulled away, it was with a sheepish look. "I didn't mean to spy," she said quickly, sliding her arms away until they rested in her lap. "I, um . . . Things were unresolved, but I couldn't just ignore you. So every once in a while, I'd sneak in and check on you in the infirmary, leave you your coat and stuff, leave so you wouldn't have to deal with me so soon after the mission. When I went in one day and you weren't there, I sort've, y'know, did my tailing thing . . . And if you weren't in our room or your old one, there really was only one place you'd be."
Her finger fiddling began. "I only meant to make sure you were doing okay and not doing something stupid, honest. So I listened in for a bit to make sure you were okay."
Stormy exagerrated the pause's awkwardness to lighten Nevada's mood; anything to pull her away from despair, even if it was just a moment in time she was pretending things were normal. It allowed the smile that came next to be easier to pull up.
"For the record, I'm glad you feel safe in that room, too."
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Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:52 pm
Nevada's arms even crossed, much like her former self would've. Much like herself would do, she had to correct herself. She was still Nevada, still the same girl....somewhere inside of her, she was still the same girl.
Nevada's eye even narrowed in suspicion at the other mist.
"You practiced tailing me...to Otto's room?" She wasn't even sure if she was suppose to be proud (because look at Stormy being all misty) or upset (Breach of personal space) or insulted (Well she had just come out of the infirmary and she wasn't the best at sneaking herself so...)
She clasped her hands. "So you heard me and Otto having sex?" Just to you know...clear the air.
She sighed and rubbed her eye.
"It's hard to feel safe anywhere else. My room is under constant watch, our room is always broken in by somebody, you should think about new locks. Otto....Otto is the only other person I know on the Island not to turn me away." She could've gone to Ian but the poor man didn't need a clinging mess of her on him right now. He was one of her closest friends. Add him to Otto and Stormy, Nevada had her soulmates all in the same place. The three perfect people for her. But none of them deserved her mess. It was by Otto's misfortune that he had been stuck with her...and it ended up being more...just more for her.
"I told Otto about Aria a couple days before the mission. I had a feeling I would see her if I left the Island." She looked up at Stormy, "I asked him to protect you, should anything happen."
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Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 8:09 pm
To the first question, Stormy bobbed her head bashfully. To the second, another and even more sheepish nod of the head. "I didn't creep or anything, but once that started, I figured it was, y'know . . . safe." To say the least.
"Let's be fair: I think the only people who broke into our room were from Mist, so . . . better locks wouldn't help anyway," she pointed out with a little smile. It died when she mentioned telling Otto, however. For a moment she almost wanted to ask her why, but . . . then again, look at what she had done with Gale. She didn't need to know why, she already did thanks to her own reasoning: safety. "I told Gale about it some, too. Didn't name names or anything--good thing too, I guess, since I was kinda tipsy and nearing drunk at the time . . ."
Stormy sighed a little and took Nevada's hands. "I don't want protection: I want you to be safe and sound again. Let's focus on that. We'll get your weapon and coat back, and from there . . . From there, I can do some research." She squeezed her hands a little. "There's gotta be a way to bring the bond back. I'll enlist anyone and everyone who can help, okay?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 10:21 pm
She gave a raised brow.
"Well since you heard some of it...Otto was bery good to me." She huffed. It was odd thinking that anyone knew that her and Otto were involved...She had told him one night. But she wanted more. If she didn't think it so selfish, didn't want to give Otto hopes that she would be here longer then she really was.
But she wanted to stay with him as long as she could. It was hard...It was hard to keep the promise to herself.
"Like that makes it any better." She waved her hand, quieting. "I thought you might, at least you told him smartly. I told Lance first, and then I told Otto. I didn't tell Otto about Cass though, just you and me." At least she thought she did.
"I want protection for you." She sighed, "And for Otto and Ian and Sherry and Gale and Candace and Lance. All my friends. I want all my friends to be protected." How would they be when she left? All those people she had bonded with. Would they forget? Move on? Both? She hoped they moved on, of course, but never forget her.
"I'll try to help but..." Nevada looked away, "I don't think I have the right state of mind. Sometimes..." She cut off, "sometimes my thoughts are scary, so...This isn't goodbye but I would feel better if I stayed in my old room for now...I don't know what I'll be like for the next...few weeks..." She smiled weakly.
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Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 11:21 pm
That's okay, Nevada, she didn't need further details.
< < That one does not keep her lips sealed very well, > > Thane remarked dryly. < < Your blind loyalty has been rewarded so well thus far. > >
Shushing him, Stormy kept up a confident face for her best friend's sake. "Don't worry about all of that," she told Nevada gently, still keeping a hold of her hands. "Your job is to take it easy and relax. Nap the day away even~ Once we get your weapon back, maybe we can try a few different things: exposure to Fear to try and bring it back and all." Life was not her forte, she didn't know the intricacies of how Fear and the weapon bond of a Hunter worked . . . But she would read all of the books the library provided without break if that's what it took.
The idea of not still being in the same room together, however, gave her pause. It was change. Stormy didn't welcome it, because the only other times Nevada wasn't actively sleeping in her room had been when they had fights or when she was off on a mission. Being alone again . . . Her first answer was going to be no simply because that image was wrong on so many levels to her: it wasn't just loneliness, it was like giving an inch away that would soon turn into a mile before she knew it. But Stormy only gave a sympathetic smile and squeezed Nevada's hands again.
"If that's what you want, then we'll do it."
But it's when you're alone that the worst thoughts come out.
"D'you need help moving some things over there, then?"
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Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 11:44 pm
"I would...yes." Nevada nodded. "Not much, I'll come back here to watch movies again, I just...it's best if I sleep alone for sometime."
She didn't want Stormy to see or hear when she didn't sleep. She hadn't slept since she woke from her little bout anyways.
Less worry for her friend, more secrets for her to keep.
"I'm just going to take this..." Nevada got up and rested her hand on the small duffell bag of clothes. "I'll be around if you need me, and you know where to find me." She smiled sadly.
"I love you Stormy." She reached over and pulled Stormy into a hug.
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Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 5:49 pm
"Alright." She felt it, though: that first quiet sign of pulling away, of backsliding. There was no reason to be alone, not in her eyes . . . But Stormy was afraid that pushing would result in another fight, or at best would strain what was clearly taxing her best friend's mental and emotional state. Concede to this one thing, she told herself, and not another: a lonely room for a living Nevada.
Her arms were like steel traps around Nevada, clingy and tight and communicating the anxiety she was trying so hard to hide behind her smile. "Love you too, big sis."
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Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 5:53 pm
Nevada nodded, knowing that leaving Stormy was probably worse for the girl then herself.
but she didn't want to cause problems, and she didn't know what she would become.
So she hugged tight, for a moment longer before letting her arms drop and easing out of it. "Okay, I'll be around..." she couldn't say bye yet, after all. She went to her small packed bag, smiled at Stormy again before letting herself out and away.
Just some solitude to figure out what was going to happen to her.
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