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 Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 8:20 pm
He stared at her face as she held his cheeks, his gaze dropping after she spoke. She felt better with him, just like he felt at ease with her. His best friend, right here, and she was dying as she spoke. How long? He wanted to know but.. to ask her? Now? It seemed... he couldn't summon the courage. Maybe he didn't want to know.
No control over her condition. Nothing he could do but be there.
He looked her in the eye again, pain in his eyes, and an obvious attempt not to look too torn. He could man up and be string for her. He had to prove he could. She needed a rock, he was sure of it.
Her request hadn't seemed odd until she became shy about it. His brows furrowed, lips parted in confusion. "Well.. yeah. I mean.. you're always allowed to sleep here.." Did she mean her usual bed in the pillow pile? Or in his bed where he'd made her stay that one night when he didn't trust her not to leave and never return. He wasn't used to her being so shy. It threw him off, made him uneasy. It was a hard thing to hide.
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 8:36 pm
She laughed...and it was a geninue laugh because even when she changed...he didn't.
"No...uh..." she shook her head.."I mean...Can I..." she tried to gesture and settled instead for leaning over and kissing him on the lips.
Then she moved back and waited. If he rejected her, it was her own fault. She was taking advantage of him at the moment, she knew it, but she didn't think he would mind. Before she died, she wanted to be with Otto, to feel all that care...that love that she expected from others.
That loved she had looked for in others and never found....It was right here, because she already had it. She could never fill the void of carrying that torch for Otto, so she burrowed all those feelings away. Tried to cover it with Tuck...With Chelsea. Expected from them what she always wanted.
She waited, staring intently at him.
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 8:49 pm
His busy mind shut down all of the sudden.
It wasn't the first time Nevada had kissed him. In fact, she was the first person on the island he'd gone on a date with. The only woman there who'd ever treated him as an equal, or as a man. He stared back at her as she pulled away, nothing going on upstairs for a moment or so. But soon the thoughts returned to duty. After all this time, was Nevada still interested in him that way? Or was it just something she needed to get her mind off of.. well...
His heart started to beat a little faster, his cheeks flushing despite himself.
"Oh.." He finally made a word.
Maybe more words were needed.
"Y....yeah.." Yeah, that was a word. Good word. "I mean... yeah."
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 9:15 pm
She waited, and then stared at him.
"Y...Yeah?" She blinked, actually surprised. "you know I mean...together...and in bed and..." She kind of smooshed her hands together after gesturing to each other.
She thought about it more before realizing she might have to clarify.
"I'm not...I hope you don't think that..." She rubbed her palms on her knee's..."I don't want to just forget the thing that happened to me. I'm not using you for that, because no matter what...I won't forget I failed a promo, that my weapon is gone...That I am pathetically human and that I am eventually gonna die. I can't forget those, with no amount of physcial distraction...with emotional..." She reached over and touched his heart.
"I don't want you to think I am using you Otto...because when I am with you, I try to be as sincere as possible. I don't ask it of you...if I wasn't sincere.." She smiled sadly, "I just want one memory with you Otto, One memory where I got what I wanted before I died, and maybe it'll be easier to accept. One memory...That I won't ever regret doing..." She took his hands now..
"But only if you're sure..."
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 9:23 pm
"I know." He answered, though her rather humorous hand gesture made it obvious now. He knew what she meant, and he couldn't say it didn't make him a little happy. Really.. no one ever asked him stuff like that. Maebe did, but she was just being cruel. She was making fun of him. Nevada didn't do things like that. She was real...
His heart that lay just behind her hand, was aching in pain.
"..it should have been you." He murmured after she;'d spoken, assuring him it wasn't just a physical need. He frowned despite himself. "All this time, I think.. it should've been you. Maybe none of this woulda happened."
"I..." His voice shook a moment, before he cleared his throat. "When you first told me you liked me? I should have said yes." He bent his head low, as if in shame. "I like you too, but I was so bent on chasing after Eva, even though I think I knew it was pointless."
As pointless as chasing a falling star. Impossible, and light years away from him. Nevada, there and now, felt more real to him than Eva ever had.
"I'm sorry." He reached for her hand, nervously and uncertain what his words might do. "And I'm sure."
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 9:33 pm
Only to Otto and Stormy was Nevada real. Ian was a kindred spirit but even then she held some of herself back. But with Otto and Stormy, she didn't hide anything. She couldn't.
"It would've happened..." She shook her head and smiled sadly, such a calm acceptance..."I'm not made for this island Otto, I would've gotten myself killed some other way." It hurt, and maybe it was cause she was broken she felt so negative but...her heart soared even a little. To think he might've thought about this...to think perhaps he even wanted to be together...It was nice.
There was a grim satisfaction, that even on the verge of her death that she was closer to Otto then Eva was, that she had something over the girl...someone she was jealous and envious of. Eva was selfless and kind. Nevada was flirty, but selfish and secretive.
Her hand laced through his, when he reached for it. "Thank you..." She whispered, bringing it up to her cheek. Slowly she unfolded herself from the pillow pile, pulling him up with her.
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 9:40 pm
He didn't want to believe she'd let such a thing happen. If she wasn't cut out to be a hunter, what right did he have either? He should have died ten times over. He was only alive because he was good at running away. Only alive because someone rescued him. He had nothing to offer this island. Nothing at all.
So why did he get to live? Why did she have to die?
Otto came to stand with her, a sudden bashfulness overtaking him. "Uh..." His face flushed again, which he tried to wave off by turning his head and rubbing his neck. "It's... been a while so.." So don't expect much. Yes, even here in this complicated moment, he was more than worried he'd disappoint. Hell, it terrified him. Girls and women on the island saw him as a child. Cute. Like a pet or a....
.. or a puppy.
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 9:57 pm
She snorted.
Kind of substanially ruining the moment for just a second because it was so hilarious to her that he would even like...
"I'm sure you still know how to use it Otto." She teased, feeling somewhat normal, because this was normal. Even when it wasn't.
"We have all of tonight to figure it out you know..." She raised her eyebrow and pushed him on the bed, leaning down to kiss him again, gently touching lips to his. "you're not a puppy Otto, I'm not going to be disappointed in you, I can't be..." She whispered against his lips. She would never be disappointed by anything he did.
"Take care of me..." She added, caging him under her.
--
Hours...it felt like days because her mind couldn't fathom what she did. she stayed with Otto that night, slept besides him because she couldn't bear to leave him.
She left her heart here with him, because that's what she had left.
And when morning came and she had to leave, she would keep it here with him and remember. For one night, He chose her like she always wanted.
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 10:07 pm
Her laughing actually helped. It made him feel so much less tense. Normal. Hell, he even smiled too. Shyly, of course. It was pretty funny.
Taken off guard for that moment as she pushed him down, staring up at her as his heart began beating even harder in his chest. His gaze glazed over after their kiss, a pleasant fog wrapping his mind despite the frantic heartbeat. She always knew what to say. She knew everything about him. Every insecurity. It really should have been her, all that time. Who knew him better than anyone else? Only her.
She caged him over with her embrace, and everything after that was...
--
He'd needed that. He'd needed her. He slept more soundly than he had in years that night, heavily and deeply. He had a warm body right there next to him. Someone close, someone he trusted with his body and heart. Despite the circumstances, and despite it all, he felt better.
Otto wanted nothing more than to have that someone next to him every night.
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