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"Good, someone needs to break that b***h," Delphine announced a little too loudly. But hell, it was true. She couldn't bring herself to do it, but maybe Kam could, and maybe the guilt would somehow be taken away from her if Alkaid was destroyed by someone else's hands. The only reason the young woman would tell Kam not to do it was out of fear that Alkaid would break him instead. The last brush with the corrupted senshi had been way too close for comfort. She had nearly lost her friend, and she wasn't quite willing to feed him to the wolves just yet.

Kam could pile through his beer a lot quicker than Delphine could work down her own drink, though she put a considerable amount of effort into it. By the time Kamboja passed her the menu, she had finished her first glass and was ordering another. As Kam rattled off the list of food he was ordering, Delphine couldn't help but chuckle. It was almost a genuine laugh, her dark blue eyes lighting up for a moment. Sometimes it was easy to forget how much of a pig her roommate was, and she was almost embarrassed to be sitting next to someone who ordered enough food for an entire table.

But, hell, she wasn't going to just let Kam upstage her like that. "I'll start off with a salad wedge, blue cheese, lots of ranch. A cheeseburger, side of fries. Chicken fingers to goooo and a chocolate cake for dessert." ******** yeah, top that Garbage Disposal Kamboja.

"Someone who is watching their weight," Delphine replied casually, though considering what the rest of her order consisted of, she definitely wasn't watching her weight. It wasn't like she needed to, she had a naturally high metabolism, and coupled with all the physical activities and exertions she put herself through, it was no wonder she could stuff her face and still look slim. Unlike Kam, however, she wouldn't be able to eat her entire order in one sitting. The rest of it would probably be stuffed into a to-go box, so she could just reheat it in the microwave and have a meal later. She hardly did any grocery shopping before they left Destiny City, and the most sophisticated her home cooked meals got was mac 'n cheese. Sometimes she even used shell noodles.

The bartender passed her another one of her favorite fruity drinks, and she was content to sip on it quietly until their meals came. It was a strange, nostalgic feeling, being back in Destiny City after being on the road for two years. There was a lot she'd have to catch up on, and undoubtedly she'd return to being Sailor Nemesis soon. She couldn't shrug off that duty, that obligation to try and keep the Negaverse and the DMC at bay. Delphine wasn't sure she could win the war, but she'd die trying. It was perhaps why her life sometimes seemed to be going nowhere. Most things had been put on hold so she could dedicate herself to that war.

Helping Kamboja out had been a release from those duties, and it had been really nice. She could pretend she was normal for all of two years. Sure, they were on a crazy, fruitless quest to find Kam's missing brother, but she hadn't even powered up until the night Kam was attacked. It felt amazing to be Delphine, just Delphine. It was too bad that she couldn't hold onto that feeling forever. She couldn't be 'just Delphine'.

Kam's thanks caught her a little off guard, and she turned her head towards her friend, blinking at him. "Oh, yeah. You're welcome. It was..." But, Kam had said he didn't want to talk about it, and so Delphine decided not to elaborate on her train of thoughts. No, she'd let the subject lie until Kam decided to bring it up again. When he was ready to talk about it, they would talk. But, the trip had left a sore feeling in them both, and it would take time to get over most of it.

Honestly, she wasn't sure Kam would ever really feel better. If she was in his position, she knew she wouldn't be able to.

"Just a pizza? Do I at least get more than just pepperoni on it?" she answered with a wise a** grin.

Delphine had told Kam a little of what had gone on between herself and Alkaid, but it likely hadn't been the entire picture, and she wasn't even sure how much of the story had stuck with her friend. She had only confided so much of that in him because she had felt vulnerable, weak. Anything dealing with Alkaid made her feel so horribly incompetent. It reminded her of all her weaknesses, and brought forth none of her strengths. Delphine would always feel like she could have done something different to prevent Alkaid from becoming what she was now. There was a hesitant expression on the young woman's face. It was territory she hadn't expected to cover with Kam. Usually these sort of things were left alone unless she brought it up herself.

Her fingers tightened around her glass, and with a sigh she nodded her head. "Sure, yeah," she answered as nonchalantly as she could manage, implying that it was no big deal when it was. "Let's move to a booth." Delphine didn't want to talk about her past life's lover, or her horrendous failures as a senshi in a bar, but if she was going to do it she was going to have as much privacy as she could manage. The young woman slid out of the chair and carried her drink over to an open booth. It was only after she had taken a few slow sips that of her drink, that she started to talk. A wary glance was given to her surroundings, but no one seemed to be paying them too much attention.

"Okay, so you know that my past self and Alkaid's were fairly well tangled together, right? I think that is at least the most clear part. I almost regret spending so much time on my planet, because of what it's revealed to me. But, we were soul mates. There was not a person alive then who was that good to me, uh, yeah, me." Just because this was a different lifetime didn't mean she felt some connection to the person she had been. They were one and the same, only their circumstances and lifetimes made them different. "And I don't think there will be ever again. I'm not sure what's entirely up with Alkaid, but she's far gone, and I don't think she can come back from whatever she's made herself into, or what someone else has made her into." Again she glanced around the room, feeling unreasonably paranoid.

"She was a good senshi, you know. Her fighting skill wasn't all that great, but she had the right personality. She was good," in a way Delphine could never be. She wasn't a senshi others would rise up and follow. Maybe Alkaid could have been. "And I completely ******** ruined it. I'm pretty sure I'm the only reason she was corrupted. A Negaverser had me pinned, and here Alkaid comes, good-natured to rescue me, and high tail the hell outta there because I didn't want to die. Next thing I know, she's corrupted. Now she's something great for them, when maybe she could have been something monumental for us. I don't know, I just get the feeling that like she was the light, hope, for me in my past life, she could have been that way for everyone, all the senshi and knights now." And Delphine had blown it.

She'd remember to pat herself on the shoulder for it later.

"A lot more," Delphine agreed, but her mood had worsened considerably. She wasn't even done with her first drink when another was brought to her, she merely nodded her head in thanks to the server, and continued to nurse the drink cupped in her hands. Maybe later she'd slam down a couple of beers to try to take the edge off of her emotions, but at the moment she could only stare blandly at her food. There was no way she was going to be able to eat all of it now, and for a few minutes all she did was pick through her fries to find the ones with the crispier ends to eat. What she didn't end up eating was unlikely to go to waste, she'd have it later when she was in a better mood, or let Kam finish it off for her.

"The more you visit, the stronger the connection to the past feels. I'm sure if you want to figure out who she is, you can." It was with that attitude that Delphine had pursued her own past life, though the results were far from favorable. Her past self had been miserable, had felt trapped and secluded. Delphine had to wonder if those emotions would continue to carry on from one life to the next. The only light the past Nemesis had was Alkaid, and if she wanted to find warm memories, all she had to do was look to the Alkaid of the past. But, trying to do that now only would make her feel guiltier, and Delphine wasn't sure she could handle feeling any more terrible over Alkaid.

"It wasn't even bad luck, it was bad decisions. I only have myself to blame and somehow it's just... so much worse." She smiled, as if forcing some mediocre happy expression would help fight the surge of negative emotions. The conversation was clearly taxing her, but Delphine figured it was better to trudge along with it. It'd be nice for Kam to understand, or at least know. "Even her power sphere hinted at something great for us. Guidance. I don't know, she could have led us. It's not even that she could have been an amazing asset, that's a bonus. It's just that my decision possibly ended all other directions her life could have taken. I practically condemned her. I had loved her, and she had been everything to that me, and this is how I repay her? I let her next lifetime fall into darkness, the very thing she had drawn me out of."

It looked like she had more to say, but Delphine cut her words off, instead turning her attention to her drink, which was finished off quickly, and the one still waiting for her had been taken care of just as easily. "I just, I ******** suck. I keep thinking that I can avoid my mistakes or make up for them by trudging forward, by picking up battle after battle, winning small victories. I fought, and fought, and fought, but I still ******** suck. I feel terrible. It's why I was eager enough to come with you, to help yes, because Khal is my friend too and he is your brother. But it was probably more running, picking up a different fight, ignoring the fact that I can't do anything about this fight but make it worse." God, she needed another drink.

Kam definitely wasn't the best at coaching a girl through her emotions, but that he put the effort in at least seemed to make Delphine's rapid train of thoughts pause. She stared at him, and slowly stuffed another fry into her mouth while she mulled his words over. He had a point, but it didn't really ease the guilt she felt over it. She knew she couldn't do anything to save Alkaid now. There was no way she could go into the past and change that single event, though if there was a way, she'd selfishly take the chance just to rid herself of the burden weighing on her shoulders. "I just think that it doesn't matter what great sacrifice she's made if her life was completely ruined in the process."

Delphine sighed, and reached for her burger and took a more satisfying bite out of it. Still chewing some of her food, she continued with, "But, you're right. I can't change the past, but maybe I can still be of some good for this side of the war. Even if I don't deserve a second chance, you know I'll take it. I can kick more a** than most of the people on our side, last I figured." That was her general go-to response. She was just going to have to even the sides a little bit. All the strength Alkaid gave to the Negaverse, Nemesis would find a way to take it away from them.

Alkaid was magically stronger, and in a fight Nemesis would surely be outmatched. But, she was reckless, strong-willed, and she simply wouldn't give up. She'd keep on fighting for the senshi, because Alkaid couldn't. "God, I was looking forward to a little more time off. I didn't want to jump right back into things, since I'm bent out of shape." But knowing her, tomorrow night she'd start patrolling, whether with Gehenna or without him.

Delphine, despite her words, still looked a little somber and far too mellow. It would take some time for her to process her own emotions, but she was trying not to drag Kam through the process as well. "Sorry," she mumbled with a shrug of her shoulders. She figured it was trying on Kam to put up with girly bullshit, and the worst part was that Delphine wasn't even on her period. It was better that she got it off her chest now before that combo hit her. Kam could consider himself lucky, really.

"We'll win," Delphine promised, because there was simply no other option. She had no idea how victory would come, but she was damned determined to see it happen. The Negaverse wouldn't last for long, and once that threat was out of the way, the DMC would likewise fall. She had no idea what other evil forces had risen up during their time away, but she'd crush them. Delphine would do what Delphine simply was good at - being a senshi. Out of the potential courses her life could have taken, this was by far the most interesting one of them all.

"Deal, I'll hold you to that. Hell, I'm going to make you take on the first youma we find. Promise." A more genuine smile was won from the young smile, and she raised her glass with his'. As predicted, Delphine was unable to make it through most of her meal, and ended up putting it in a few to-go boxes and stuffing those boxes in a bag. Kam had, unsurprisingly, gulped all of his down with the gusto Delphine thought only teenage boys or really obese men could possess.

The walk home was lengthier than the way to the bar, Delphine well past the point of being tipsy. But that was the point, it was their one night of celebration, their 'welcome home' of sorts. She was going to enjoy it, and then tomorrow business would be as usual. She'd try her best to go back to being the Sailor Nemesis that had disappeared two years ago. Truthfully, Delphine wasn't sure if she looked forward to it or not. It was simply something she was going to do, and nothing was going to stop her.

(--fin--)