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 Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 6:52 am
Aramis
~~~
Aramis' own lip had long since begun to curl, his pale blue eyes narrowing angrily at both his son's tone and his words. His pride at Falarnon's newly apparent backbone was long gone, thoroughly replaced by outrage and irritation that he was being talked to in such a manner, by one of his own sons. Perhaps it was hypocritical, to want his sons to have his mannerisms and behaviors but want them to ultimately remain suborniate to himself, his sense of honor, and his feelings of superiority. He was their father, end of story.
"I can't even begin to say how displeased I am, Falarnon, and I'm additionally shocked you think claiming adulthood or independence justify such behavior. You are my son, you owe me respect, period. And I'd appreciate it if you'd stop twisting my words around in an effort to make me out to be a villian. When have I ever been anything but supportive of you and your, shall we say, quirks?"
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 6:57 am
Falarnon
~~~
It took everything in Falarnon to keep from bursting out with a snort of shock and disbelief at Aramis' words. He knew that he himself was guilty of daydreaming and living in the clouds, but it was clear that he had nothing on his father. Thinking back on his childhood and young adult life, he couldn't think of one moment where Aramis had encouraged or embraced Falarnon's quirks; instead, Aramis had seemed to view every difference between father and son as a negative, something that needed to be 'fixed.' After all, wasn't that why they had come out here in the first place to practice that stupid hat trick? Because one of Falarnon's 'quirks' was a lack of dramatic flair?
The resultant silence hung between father and son with an almost tangible air. Aramis and Falarnon glared at each other, in that one moment their expressions nearly identical. Aramis looked a challenge, Falarnon a rebellion, but the same narrowed eyes, the same square set to their jaws, even the same rigidity in their stances; at that moment, they were truly father and son.
Finally, Falarnon broke the silence. "Tell me what quirks of mine you've ever supported, Father, and perhaps I'll believe you."
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 7:03 am
Aramis
~~~
Aramis couldn't believe this was happening. One minute, he'd been living in his own relatively peaceful world; sure, it was small and overly cloying, but he'd come to accept those terms in light of his control over everything in his power. Saiena might not be a variety of mares, but she was devoted and more loyal than just about anything; his in-laws might not be stoic and removed, but they were respectful and kind and let him be the boss in his relationship. His sons might be the reason he was tied to this life, but they were sons, and could carry on his bloodline and his noble ideals.
And here, in one fell swoop, Falarnon was shooting holes in Aramis' pleasant little life. Aramis' eyes blazed indignantly at Falarnon, practically willing him to back down. But the eyes that glared back at him were his own; icy blue, narrowed, and full of purpose. At once, Aramis saw that continuing this was pointless; he knew himself well enough to know what he was seeing. And with that indignation came something else; cracks appearing in the facade of his 'happy life.'
"I don't need to explain myself or my support to you, Falarnon. I am your father, and I have always been there for you. You have no idea what I've given up in order to be here for you and your brother."
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Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2014 7:13 am
Falarnon
~~~
Falarnon wished he could be surprised at Aramis' sudden blaze of anger and selfishness. However, children were often more perceptive than their parents gave them credit for, and there had always been hints that Aramis was restless with his life. But it was one thing to suspect, and another thing to know, to hear. Falarnon not only heard what Aramis was saying, but also what he did not say: Aramis had said that he'd sacrificed for Falarnon and Vencel, but nowhere in that sentence did he mention Saiena; either as a sacrifice or a reward. All that was stated was bitterness and disappointment.
He probably should have bitten his lip at that point, but Falarnon had been pushed too far. "And you think that you deserve what, a commendation? For being our father? For deigning to hang around and try to mold us into mini yous? I always try to show you respect, Father, but I don't know if it's possible to say this respectfully: I never asked you to make any sacrifice for me!"
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Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:08 pm
Aramis
~~~
"How dare you! How dare you continue to take that tone with me, and to presume to pass judgement on me! You are an ungrateful stallion, and I am thoroughly ashamed to think I had any part in raising you. Have you any idea how easy it would have been for me to leave you boys to your mother? Do you have any idea how often I considered doing that very thing? You have NO idea what kind of choices I was presented with, and how badly I wished things could have worked out another way. But that doesn't matter to you, does it? You think you're entitled to carry on, blithely judging me? How DARE you!"
Aramis couldn't recall feeling this angry in years. He had always been proud of his reserve, his restraint, his character carrying the day. Aramis was not a stallion who lost his temper, or who even raised his voice. But this...this had gone too far. He had tried to rein in Falarnon and failed; Falarnon had provoked him past the breaking point; well, now he got to pick up the pieces!
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Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:13 pm
Falarnon
~~~
Falarnon had never seen his father like this before, never heard him like this before. In a way, it was satisfying, to know that there was a real stallion behind the facade. In fact, he could almost respect Aramis more for being a Soquili and not a poster child for perfection. But those were the thoughts of rationality, and right now both father and son were beyond the point of rationality. As Aramis' voice rang out across the clearing, Falarnon listened with bared teeth and raised hackles. Every word out of Aramis' mouth only served to underscore the deep upset Falarnon was already feeling.
"Yes, yes, I understand, Father. I understand that you behaved like a cad towards Mother, and when you found out she was expecting you decided to temper that caddishness by staying, like the 'honorable, upright' stallion you were." Falarnon's voice was level, but each word was laced with biting sarcasm as he surveyed the stallion who had raised him. Had any of that been for Falarnon's own sake, for Vencel's sake, for Saiena's sake? From the sound of things, the answer to that was no!
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Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:22 pm
Aramis
~~~
Aramis could feel the pieces of his life shattering around him. For years, he had lived this life, built up the dream. He had presented the perfect facade to the world: doting mate, caring father, dutiful son-in-law. It had been so convincing, he'd practically convinced himself it was real. But now, as he stood yelling at his son, he realized just how brittle that facade had been, how easy it was to destroy. In a few ill-chosen words, he'd destroyed the image he'd been cultivating since he first fell in with Saiena.
But at the moment, he was past caring. "And there you are, continuing to judge me. I behaved with nothing but honor towards your mother; there was nothing I took that was not offered, nothing I did that was not encouraged. It was neither or our intention to procreate; it was never my intention for our arrangement to be permanent! If Saiena felt differently, for that I am sorry; however, my actions were always above board. And for what? For what did I give up my freedom and my world? For THIS!"
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Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:28 pm
Falarnon
~~~
Falarnon had been feeling incensed for his own sake at first, followed shortly thereafter by indignation on his brother's account as well. But as the enormity of Aramis' words struck him, he was almost physically staggered. He had always known that Saiena was more demonstrative towards Aramis than the reverse; he had chalked it up to Aramis' natural reticence. But this...this was beyond everything. By Aramis' own admission, he had used Saiena and meant to leave her; whatever Aramis might have thought, Falarnon knew his mother well enough to know she would have been devastated by that knowledge.
Aramis had used her, and stayed out of a sense of 'honor' when he found out she was pregnant. He had never loved her, never meant to be loyal to her. All of Falarnon's life, the image of his happily mated parents had been there before him...and it was now ripped away.
It was Falarnon's voice, but it was as if someone else was speaking the words. As if he was in a dream, Falarnon heard himself saying in a low, menacing voice, "You, Sir, are a b*****d in the truest, most well-deserved sense of the word."
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:08 pm
Aramis
~~~
Falarnon's words hung in the air between the two stallions as though suspended on wires. The tension between father and son was already extreme, but with Falarnon's latest salvo the dynamic had taken on a new element. Father and son stood glaring at each other, icy blue eyes boring into identical eyes. For a long, hideously awkward moment, neither stallion moved, and nothing further was said.
Aramis was furious. He had had no idea that his son harbored any of these thoughts; today had been one rude wake up call after another. He had attempted to remind Falarnon of the respect due to his father; really, it was the respect due to any older stallion. But his words had fallen on deaf ears; it was as though with each new reproach, Falarnon had gathered greater confidence for his horrible conduct. But this...this!
He couldn't believe his ears. To think that a son he had raised would stoop to say such a thing to him! In hindsight, Aramis knew that he never should have allowed the heat of the argument to let him speak his true sentiments about Saiena and family life. It was a horrible slip of the control he had spent a lifetime cultivating, and it had been patently obvious before he said anything that Falarnon would not, and could not, understand. But for him to stand there and say to Aramis' face that he was a b*****d! Really, it was something completely beyond Aramis' expectations or beliefs.
It took Aramis several long moments to collect himself after that comment; as appalling as Falarnon's words and behavior continued to be, the fact he felt justified in using such terms was an indication that Aramis needed to rein himself in. This was why he hated emotional displays; when the tempers started to rise, then good sense and manners tended to fly out the window. How many relationships of any sort had been ruined throughout the years by an injudicious word, said in anger or some other extreme emotion?
Well, Aramis thought grimly, it was obvious that his relationship with his younger son could be added to that list. They might still be blood relations, but there could be no going back after an insult like that one. Through his narrowed eyes, he studied the young stallion before him as though he were looking at a stranger; an ironic state of affairs, given how close this particular son resembled Aramis himself. They had the same strong build, the same dark coat, the same silvery hair; Falarnon differed only in the purple streaks in his mane and tail, and the spots on his back. But everything else was Aramis.
Or everything else had been Aramis. The eyes that glared back at him, the eyes that matched his own, belonged to a stranger now; someone that Aramis could never again trust or respect.
In a very low voice, Aramis responded, "You have truly forgotten yourself, Falarnon."
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Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 9:45 am
Falarnon
~~~
He'd forgotten himself, Aramis had said. No, not said, accused. Falaranon had never been close to his father, but he knew him well enough to know what Aramis was feeling when his father broke out 'the low voice.' That had always been Aramis' way; the angrier he'd gotten, the quieter he'd gotten; his father had been a lot of things over the course of Falarnon's life, but he'd never been unpredictable. Falarnon knew he shouldn't be surprised at Aramis' reaction; he'd never before spoken so forcefully to his fahter, never mind rudely. Though they would have to continue to disagree on just what entailed 'rude;' if they were to reconcile in the next few minutes, it would not be because Falarnon had backed down.
Really, had he forgotten himself? Or had he finally figured out what his relationship with his father was meant to be like? Finally figured out that he didn't have to meekly nod and follow along in Aramis' footsteps, doing whatever his father 'suggested,' striving for approval that was never really coming? Finally figured out that whatever he was meant to be, it was not someone that his father would ever understand or approve of. Finally figured out that where his family was concerned, 'normal' would never be his reality, but that what he had was...
What he had was what, exactly? No one could doubt the love his mother had for Falarnon and Vencel, and always had. No one could doubt that she loved them unconditionally, in spite of all their quirks and weird ways. Ditto with Vencel; he had never minded that Falarnon was timid and paranoid, that Falarnon was always wanting to hang back and let Vencel blaze the way. They understood each other on a soul level, and there had never been any need for explanations. It had never been anywhere near that easy with Aramis, and a part of Falarnon had always wondered if his father ever even tried to understand him. Or had he tried, but simply dismissed the idea as too outlandish?
Whatever had happened in the past, the present was proving one thing to Falarnon. His relationship was his father, fragile as it had ever been, had finally broken. It was too early to say whether that break was permanent, but Falarnon knew his father and himself too well to think that it would be any time soon that they would be able to have a civilized conversation. Even now, Falarnon got the sense that if he looked away, eye contact would be impossible to reestablish.
So they just stayed as they were, eyes coldly boring into each other's as a million thoughts raced through their minds. FInally, Falarnon found the words to respond. "No, Father, I think going off of that 'secret' you just revealed, you're the one who forgot yourself. Or maybe you just remembered yourself; the self that is a completely selfish cad."
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Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 10:01 am
Aramis
~~~
He was trying so hard to reign in his temper; why was it so hard to keep a level keel? Aramis had always been a king when it came to keeping his cool; nothing ever got to him to the point of displaying outward negativity. Hadn't he just admitted as much, that he had spent the last several years living a life he'd never wanted, that he couldn't stomach, just to avoid the risk of unpleasantness? In all that time, he'd never been tempted to blow up; never felt the desire to yell and scream, or to use vulgar language. He had been in perfect control; if not originally of his procreative abilities, then of how he reacted to their results. He had become a father through accident, but he had been as much a part of that accident as Saiena. He knew that there were many contemptible elements in how he'd behaved towards Saiena, but to his credit he had never blamed her for what happened.
That was Saiena, though; right now, he was dealing with Falarnon. Saiena had been many things, but she had first and formost been in love with Aramis. It was a strange sensation, having a mare in love with him, but he hadn't really minded. It meant that no matter what, she always found him wonderful. In all their time together, they had never had a fight; she had never disagreed with him, never found fault with him. He respected her for her sentiments, and still retained a fondness for her. It had never been her fault; none of this had been her fault. It wasn't even her fault that their younger son was standing here right now, showing Aramis the most disgusting amount of disrespect!
And even when he left, he would never hold Saiena accountable for this. Poor girl, it would be hard enough on her to deal with everything else; she didn't need these details dropped in her head. He might not be the classic definition of a gentleman anymore, but he would never be the cad that Falarnon had just accused him of being! Cad, indeed; would a cad be so direct with his family? No, a cad would just slink out in the dead of night, never to be seen again; Aramis was no slinker. But something had just chimed within him, something that he hadn't felt in years. With his revelation to Falarnon, he had opened wide the door to his secret. Now that that door was open, there was no going back.
And honestly, now that he truly considered it...Aramis didn't want to go back. It had been so long; he'd given up so much. And for what? Falarnon's outburst was the last straw in a lifetime of last straws; Aramis was simply done dealing with this. And for that matter, he was done dealing with Falarnon. With one last cold stare, he sized up the stallion who had so recently been his his son. Then without so much as a final word, he turned and strode away.
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