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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 12:10 am
"Considered? I lay awake at night hoping it was a lie."
She shook her head again. "I've never said he was a bad guy. And I've certainly never said I never wanted to see him again." Confusion was toning down her tears. "What on earth would make either of you think I would want to never see him again?"
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 12:18 am
Chester sighed. "He thinks he's caused you enough troubles as is, though even then, I don't think he'd really have the willpower to stay away. But if you want to see him right now, then lend me your phone."
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 3:02 am
Sherry walked over and picked her phone up from where it lay on the bed. "He's doing a pretty good job of staying away," she muttered. Holding the phone out to Chester she continued, "Chester. How am I supposed to know which are the lies and which are the truth?" She was referring to...just about everything Jake had said to her.
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:34 am
"You're not." He took the phone from Sherry, and gave her a small smile. "He's supposed to tell you."
-----------------------------
Jake sat on the bed holding his phone, an uneasy expression on his face. Chester had told him not to worry, and to take his mind off it by doing some packing, but even then, he couldn't help BUT worry. The only sort of packing he did was that his clothes were now on the bed instead of the floor, and though it was probably nowhere near as much as Sherry, he had to admit the pile had grown.
Letting out a sigh, he left his phone on the bed, and made his way to the table. Though he had promised, it still made him nervous. How would she react when she knew everything? Would she still even want to talk to him? He placed a hand on the leather cover, running a finger over the engraved word "Holy". How had he come from such a background? Why had he lead such a messed-up life? If he could turn back time, perhaps he would have, but everything that had happened shaped him into who he was now. He wasn't sure if it was something he should be proud of, but what was done was done. There was no point in dwelling on the past.
A muffled vibrating sound made him turn his head, and he picked up the phone, feeling his heartbeat accelerate. You can come over now.
Jake closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. It was now or never.
-----------------------------
About 10 minutes later, Sherry would hear a knock on her door.
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 2:34 pm
“You just got mad at me because I don't know the difference.” She tossed her hands up before turning back to throw more things in the basket. Doing.something would help with her nerves. So would mumbling out loud. “I've tried to be good at this whole mess. I know his natural reaction is to push away from people, but I don't know what to do about it. Push back? Back off? I've done both. It doesn't seem to make a difference.” More things fell into the basket, and she didn't mutter the whole ten minutes, but the moments of silence were nearly unbearable. She almost jumped at the knock. Here to tell her the truth? Here to patch things up? Sherry wanted to be happy, but she was scared. The wounds on her heart were far more raw and tender than the ones she had returned from the mssion with. “But I have always been here when he needed me to be, or tried to be at least.” She didn't know why she was whspering this clarification at Chester. Maybe se felt like he had to understand. He had before. Or maybe it was more about needing his approval? Didn't matter rigt then, though. Sherry stepped over to open the door, and hoped it didn't look like she had been crying. “Hi.”
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 6:14 pm
"I only suggested the possibility of him not having been completely truthful. And I'd suggest keep pushing. He's bound to break sooner or later." It probably didn't help that Chester could hear Jake's thoughts, as well as get under the hunter's skin a lot easier than Sherry.
Chester turned as he heard the knock also, watching as Sherry went to open the door. "I know."
------------------------
Jake began to wonder if this was a good idea when the door opened, and was about to respond to her greeting when he saw her face. Letting his hand drop, he frowned, glanced over at Chester, and reached out to pull Sherry in for a hug. "I thought you were supposed to comfort her, not agitate her further." he hissed. Chester only shrugged.
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:22 pm
If they both kept pushing one of them was bound to break sooner or later. Sherry nearly had already. So she'd been surprised at how Jake greeted her. Surprised and confused. It didn't help that she wanted that hug, but right then she didn't know how to take it. She hesitated a moment before pulling back, and pulling Jake into the room so she could close the door properly. "He tried to comfort me. But we both got mad." Simple fact.
"What did you want to talk about?" She hoped she didn't sound mad. She wasn't really mad, just tired. And confused. And hurt.
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:56 pm
He was a little sad when she pulled away, but he let her lead him into the room, continuing to glare at his weapon. "That's not an excuse." It had been directed at Chester, but it probably didn't help that he was facing Sherry when he said it.
"I..." Jake never got to continue as right then, Chester walked up to the two, gave Jake a pointed stare as if to "don't screw this up again", and then left the room.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, he dragged a hand down his face, wondering why he had even agreed to letting Chester out into a golem. "Sorry."
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 8:05 pm
Sherry shrugged. It wasn't an excuse, but it was what happened. She didn't get the chance to say anything more about it before Chester just up and left.
Sherry turned back to Jake. "For what?"
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 8:23 pm
"For... well, everything." He had meant to apologize for Chester's behaviour, but it wasn't like he had been much better. "I know I've really hurt you, and even now, it's probably selfish of me just showing up and hoping I can just fix everything just like that, but... I want to try. And for that, I need to be completely honest with you."
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 8:42 pm
Sherry just stood there looking at Jake for a very long moment. Then she shook her head, internally scolding herself. She could think of a million spiteful things to say, and she wanted to say them. He couldn't know just how badly he'd cut her with the things he'd said and done. She wasn't sure she should tell him. She'd started to try and tell Chester, and all it had done was make him mad. It was rather terrible of her.
"You need to be completely honest anyway," she said with a sigh. With a wave and nod she indicated the bed, then moved to sit herself down on it. "And you need to be sure you want to 'fix' things. Not that... what we had before was..." She nearly regretted sitting down, it left her with only her hands to fidget with as she tried not to cry. Deep breaths. "What do you need to tell me?"
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 9:31 pm
She didn't need to, because he knew. He knew his words had hurt her far more than he hoped, and instead of having the effect he had wanted, it only backfired on him. And even then, even after he tried to sever the connection, he still found some way to being her back, to make her deal with the pain of being rejected and unwanted over and over again. Just thinking about his now sickened him, and he hated himself for it.
"I do." He had followed her to the bed and sat down, taking one of her hands in his as a way to let her know he had meant no harm. Or, at least that was the effect he hoped for. It was too bad things usually didn't go as planned.
"I... I remember why I forgot you. Or, at least I think I know the reason why. You... weren't the first. There was... someone else before you."
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Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:35 am
Sherry didn't know how she was supposed to read his hand holding. A kind gesture to be sure, but to what end? What was all of this? Another heart-to-heart meant to end in tears? Why did she almost not care? Why did she care? What made it all worth it? She sighed again, squeezing his hand, still not sure if she wanted to be touched right then. "The girl that died?" She didn't mean to jump to conclusions, and she didn't mean grow as rigid as she did. Her muscles tightened, and she could feel a pain in her chest. She knew she shouldn't be jealous, but she also knew the pangs were tinged with it. Sherry hated herself for that, but she pressed on. "I've been told a little about her, and I know she was dear to you..." But no one had mentioned her in a girlfriend sense, though she should have guessed. "Lot's of people... lot's of people have exes. You never said you did, but..." Fidgeting, she sat staring at her hands in her lap. She didn't want to go making accusations about anything, or even make it sound like she was. Sherry pulled her hand away, taking another deep breath. Too soon. This was all too soon after the heartbreak, too soon after nearly dying. Far too soon. And she didn't even have Armagnac to try and help her reign in her emotions. Hurt, love, anger, fear, jealousy, guilt... they all swirled around inside and Sherry realized that now was not a good time to deal with this. She was just too emotional. But Jake was already there, willing to talk. "So you decided to forget me." It was a confirmation as much as a prompt to continue. And Chester wondered why she didn't believe he cared. The sensation in her chest was odd, tight and hollow all at the same time.
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Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 10:21 pm
"No." He reached out to take her hand again, intertwining his fingers with hers. "Please, let me finish."
He knew the truth might hurt her more, but she needed to know. He needed to stop lying to her, and lying to himself. And perhaps, once she knew, he could finally put his past behind him and move on.
"She... she was important to me, yes, but she wasn't a lover. At least, she didn't see me as one. I admit, I was infatuated with her once, but she never saw me as something more than a kid brother. She was my whole world."
"I grew up in an orphanage. Never knew my parents. Whether they purposely left me there or if something happened, I'll never know, but it doesn't matter now. I didn't like how things were being run there, so I left, but, where I grew up..."
He sighed, almost wishing he could forget. "It... was hard. I learned early on that trust was a superficial thing. People betrayed too easily, and words were just empty promises. Those who I once considered my friends, turned out to be my enemies and... well, let's just say I didn't really get along well with them." His free hand rubbed subconsciously at the scars on his arm.
"They nearly killed me. Left me for dead. I would have died if she didn't come along. She barely knew me, and yet she was willing to help a stranger like me. At first I was weary, questioning her intentions, but she was... she was different from the others. The more I spent time with her, the more I began to have hope in humanity again. I thought that I could finally put the past behind me, lead a happy life, but-"
He let out a harsh bitter laugh. "life is funny that way. The moment you find hope, despair soon follows. It wasn't long after that those guys found out I wasn't dead. They had known for some time, but she was protecting me. I had no idea until it was too late." He gave Sherry a sad look, a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Do you know what she said to me right before she died? She told me not to hate them. Told me to forgive them, and look to the good things in life. She, who was a somebody, died for someone like me. A street urchin. Filth. A nobody. And yet she had the nerve to tell me to let it go."
There was a strange sound coming from his throat, sounding like the cross between a strangled sob and laugh. "She made me promise, but it wasn't a promise I could keep. I murdered those bastards. Gave them what they had coming to them. I thought after avenging her death, I would feel better, but I didn't. I only felt miserable and lonely. Life without her was meaningless, and I had considered just endin it then and there. It wasn't long after though that I ended up here. Whether it was fate or another form of punishment life had in store for me, I didn't know."
"After what happened, I tried to keep my distance from everyone. Asides from the forced weapon bond, it wasn't too hard. Everyone else had their own problems to worry about, so they didn't have to bother with me. But then I met you." At this, he turned to look at her, giving a sad smile. "Though I can't recall what happened up until recently, I do remember forgetting something. I wanted to forget the pain and hurt, and perhaps, if I forgot my past, I could finally move on. If I forgot the person who had affected me so much, perhaps it would lessen the pain. Unfortunately, the memories I forgot were but temporary, and it didn't take me long to remember again. I realize now I did care a lot about her, but it's a different feeling, more adoration and respect."
His hand lifted to touch gently at the cross around his neck, and he gave Sherry's hand a soft squeeze, reaching out with his other hand to take both her hands. "The one I love and care about the most right now is you. You're my whole world, and I'm sorry it took me to realize it. I pushed you away because I wanted to keep you safe from me, but it hurt me just as much to know that I may never be with you. Even now, I don't know if I'm making the right decision, but I'll listen to what my heart tells me this time. I want to be with you Sherry. I want to make things right. Will you give me that chance?"
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Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 3:42 am
Sherry didn't pull her hand away as Jake began to tell her what he'd come to say. Pulling it away would have made her sad and let her be upset longer. It would have been meant to hurt him, and only hurt her. So she left her hand in his, conscious of the comfort it gave her. She sat there and she listened. Pieces filled in where holes used to be. She'd known some of what he said, heard it in bits and pieces from Jake and Chester before. He told her of sadness and anger. And she was sad, for him, just as she was angry with herself for having been jealous. She supposed she should have been shocked or appalled at some of his tale, but she wasn't. Not anymore, not after things she'd done. Sherry shuddered at the thought of killing another, but she still listened. And then he was squeezing her hand and telling her that he loved her, that he wanted to be with her. She was almost amazed at how numb she felt, but really, it was a lot to take in. Confessions and answers, all handed to her at once. Silence filled the room as Sherry tried to absorb everything. The silence only made it harder to think, like it was pressing down on her brain. "I'm sorry," she whispered staring at their hands. It was a place to start, and something to break the silence. "I'm sorry that you lost her, and that you lived like that. Jake, a--" She didn't know what else to say about his past, so she didn't say anything. "And I-" Her voice caught in her throat, and stuck. Sherry let it sit, unsure of what to say about this part, too. Too much, all at once. But the silence this time didn't feel quite as crushing or as cold as it had before. Her heart weighed her down now, it was still heavy. Heavy, dark, and broken. She swallowed, and shuddered again. He'd said so much to her, so much that hurt. "I've never taken that chance away. But I- I-- Are you sure? Because..." She had too many reasons to doubt, she didn't know where to begin.
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