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 Posted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:31 pm
"But I don't know!" Otto insisted. He was quick to find his faults, but he just wasn't sure what more he could have done with Eva.
"She is selfless. She's too nice, too kind and too good for me." He flinched, staring into Nevada's eye after she'd grabbed him by the collar. "Yeah, and I'll never get anything back from it. No matter what I do or try, whether it be with Eva or this damn job." He growled unhappily.
The hug stunned him. Her words were honest and relatable to him. He hated hurting Eva with his pain. He hated not having someone he could be close to on an emotional and physical level. He'd broke up with her to ease the pain of losing someone close down the road, but the more he'd yelled the more he realized he had pent up anger and issues with her. He did love Eva, but no matter what happened, it felt as if she would always be untouchable.
"Yeah..."
HP: 53
Damage: his heart
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Posted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:40 pm
"Stop ******** saying that Otto." She hugged him tighter, "Did it ever bother to give you some value to your ******** self?" She started to get upset, feeling like she was looking a mirror, like she was talking to herself. he deserved to be happy, with a person that made him happy. Just as she deserved to be happy as well, with someone she thought could make her happy.
They deserved a real happiness, not one given by a ******** bunch of elves. To want in the middle of the night, something real, and never be able to do anything about it. They deserved to have real happiness on this s**t hole of a Island.
"You always go on about how selfless Eva is, and yes she can be. But she is just as equally selfish Otto. She takes and takes and takes from you? All your love, all your feelings. She might not even realize that she's doing it, but she does. She's taking away a confidence you should have. Goddamn Otto, your one of the best guys on this Island. You care about your friends..." Well except when he was running from missions, sneaky little escape artist, "You do your job and you do it well. Your 19 years old and full hunter. WITH A SPECILIZATION." She started to shake him.
"This isn't about Eva being too good for you, This is time for Otto to be too good for Eva." She shook her head, "I don't know if you guys will get better, or if you want too, but I do know one thing. You have to stop thinking that Eva is everything in this, Because Otto is just as important."
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Posted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 1:04 pm
Otto had a way with people. He had a way of upsetting them, apparently. How did not valuing himself hurt everyone else? He hated himself because he could only mess up his work and hurt Eva with his angry honesty. It was easier to blame himself. He didn't believe most of what she was saying. Best guy on the island? He was easily one of the worst. There wasn't anything good about him. He was a useless, temperamental idiot.
"Do what well!? I have a specialization that I fail at!" He yelled back, "I weaponize innocent people! I killed one the other day! I'm s**t, Nevada! Absolute s**t!"
"I'm nowhere near as important!"
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Posted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 1:20 pm
She could see the dip in attitude, the unreasonable...Trying for a new tactic, she narrowed her eyes.
"yes Otto, you're hot tempered, and grumpy. You don't share and you're WAY to sensitive about your height. You have this tendency to escape when trouble brews and you hoard all your candy. You say things that are mean and you have a specilization that kills..." She hissed and looked away, "Halloween creatures or turns them into weapons." Not that she cared for them after all.
"But under that all, you're very sweet. That candy hoard? You share when you want too, Your height? I think you're a good size. Grumpy? It's because your actually shy and have a hard time coming across friendly. Hot tempered is charming in it's own way, it makes you more honest." She listed back off at him, "You were there for me when I lost my eye, there at the Sahara when we got attacked by bugs, you are always there for us Otto, even if you know how to escape quick. Which makes you smart. You work in death, so you have to be smarter...like street smart."
"You save people.." She said quietly, "You save people who fear things in the dark, and face your own fears. Otto, you're brave. You weaponize only those who want to be. You give them a new beginning that they didn't have before. They make choices and you help them with it Otto. If you didn't care, if you didn't feel guilt over it, then you'd be s**t. Then you'd be the worse. Why can't you see these things Otto?" She started to shake him again, "No one on this island is perfect, not Eva, Not you, Not I. But you two are good people, better then most."
"You're important, you're important to your friends and to this island. You're important to me too. but more importantly, you're important to yourself Otto. You should be." She pinched him, "Wake up and realize that."
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Posted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 6:37 pm
Finally, someone admitted it aloud. She admitted his faults, clear as day. Even his complex over his height. But then she turned it around. She turned the flip side of those faults, revealing the good it did for him. She nailed every one of his positive traits and some of the things he tried to hide. She knew it all. She knew him better than most people did. She named off the times he'd been of help. Times he'd saved lives.
And she called him smart. No one ever said he was smart. He'd been convinced he was plain stupid, that being a Death Hunter was all done by mistake. Street smart was still smart, even if he didn't fully believe it. He made so many mistakes, he felt like the few accomplishments he had were of dumb luck.
His guilt made him human, even if it made him feel low. She was trying to make clear to him what he simply couldn't see out of sheer despair.
Otto calmed down some, nodding solemnly to her words. He still felt terrible, but maybe he hated himself a little less, if only because she believed in him. She didn't expect the world. Didn't expect him to change, but she wasn't disappointed with him. He wasn't weak, right? He'd been strong all this time, fighting that weakness.
His shoulders sagged. He still felt terrible. Almost sick. The stress of his days at Deus was eating away at him. "I don't think I wanna hit anything anymore.." He mumbled in regards to the spar.
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Posted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 6:48 pm
She was breathless after all that...staring at him. DARING him to argue with her now.
But he didn't and saved himself a lot more grief from her by admitting he didn't want to hit things.
"Now is the time for candy." She laughed, looping her arm through his. "Come on, I'll take you back to your room and we can eat till we pass out. Mind if I sleep over? I'll take the pillow pile if you don't mind." She squeezed his arm. "It'll get easier Otto, one day..."
She looked away now, because though she told him, she didn't believe it herself..."It'll be much easier."
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