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kuropeco rolled 2 12-sided dice:
4, 1
Total: 5 (2-24)
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 Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 9:43 pm
( ignore the dice )
He really did not appreciate the whole "being ignored" thing, from both his girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend. If anything, it was this right here that made him feel the most inadequate; like he did not exist, like the two of them were in the midst of their own problems and their own world and he was not welcome.
Some of the calm slipped a little.
<< Gale. >>
If I stay, it's not like I can even contribute to the conversation. They're talking about things I have no memory of because I wasn't there. They have an entire past that I wasn't a part of, and I can't pretend to understand it.
<< If you leave, Jack will win. >>
If I stay, Jack will still win. She's not listening to me. Neither of them are.
He felt as though she were slipping through his fingers like sand. Stormy was entrenched within the pit that she'd dug herself into while dating Jack, and Gale was left without a rope to pull her out of it without pulling Jack up as well, someone he very much wanted to keep in that pit.
She doesn't want me here.
This last thought was successful in its shattering of the calm that Gale had just barely managed to pull back into himself, cutting into him like shards of glass. His fingers tightened around the gun in his hand, the only source of comfort in this entirely messed up situation that he'd somehow been thrown into.
He had never felt less wanted in his entire life.
Slowly Gale lifted the gun, directed it at Jack -
- and then he lowered it again, the rifle dissipating in a soft glow of warm white light, reappearing seconds later as the familiar silver banded ring on his left index finger. Gale stood there for a long moment, staring at Jack first, his face inscrutable.
"Fine."
The word was clipped and short, lacking any sort of emotion. Gale's eyes were still on the giant.
"If she wants to talk to you, she has the right," he said. "She's her own person, and I won't stand in that way. As for me...well, I'll just wait for you to fail on your own. You've already done a smashing job of that, so I'll just watch you as you sink further than you already have."
His eyes cut to Stormy, but nothing was said, not one word; instead a flash of pure, unabashed hurt came quickly across his face, fleeting before he turned and walked away, leaving the two of them entirely on their own.
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Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:13 pm
"Go ******** yourself, shithead," Jack snarled. "She wanted me instead, so why don't you ******** think on that."
It relieved her in the most guilty way to hear Gale agree; but that look shattered her on the inside. And when Gale left, it had no means of being pieces back together: the emotion Stormy had been locking up within since Jack had bothered them had nothing to hold it back.
"Good riddance," he added once they were alone, because he just couldn't stop trying to get the last line in. He turned to her, green eyes almost luminous--predatory. "And what a good girl."
And with that, she snapped.
----------
Everything gradually came to a cold clarity later. A red haze became lighter and lighter until Stormy recognized that she had just left her room. It was like one of her dazes that sometimes came when she walked, where she was consciously aware of moving but rarely about anything else. She was confused with her decision to not immediately go to Gale's house until she felt the weight over her shoulder. There was a plastic bag of presents inside.
. . . Right, from the resource gathering mission with Abbi. Christmas. Not quite Christmas, actually, as her phone told her that time had moved forward by about twenty minutes only. Christmas Eve still, then.
She stepped outside and took a deep breath of the cold air before marching forward, the bag nudging her uncomfortably every other step. Shouts still echoed in her ear, but for once Thane was actively soothing her rather than berating or scolding.
< < It needed to be done. The Fear I have taken will ease this Binding away faster, at least. > > She supposed it was meant to be poetic, but it just made her vaguely nauseous to have anything of Jack's inside her.
Giving the training fields a wide berth just in case, Stormy made her way to Gale's house and prayed she hadn't caused him even more grievance with the delay.
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Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:40 pm
He'd wandered for a while after leaving the disastrous thing that was supposed to have been just a quiet walk between him and his girlfriend, Gale wandering aimlessly about the training grounds. He hadn't wanted to head back to his house just yet, taking his time with slow steps and quiet conversations with Jinhai inside of his head. The dragon was being as reassuring as possible, doing what he could to soothe the ache inside of Gale's chest, but so far nothing could quite get rid of the hollow sensation he was feeling.
"Please head home."
She hadn't wanted him. She had chosen to talk to Jack over him, and there was nothing he could do about that, nothing he could say, nothing at all whatsoever because she had chosen Jack over him.
It stung.
When he finally made it back to the little yellow house, Gale didn't bother to kick off his shoes or change his clothes. Instead, he made his way to the kitchen to fetch the tea kettle and several bags of Earl Gray currently stashed away in the faded white cabinets, along with a book of matches. He busied himself at the stove, using the matches to light it, and set the kettle atop the rather meager flame.
A while later, the front door of the house opened again and Gale stepped out, a cup of steaming hot tea clasped in one hand. Silently he slid down to sit on the steps of the porch; the walls of his house had felt oddly claustrophobic, as though they were pressing in on him, and he'd wanted air, wanted to breathe.
<< Gale. >> said Jinhai.
She chose him. He took a sip of his tea, the warmth familiar.
<< She chose to talk with him, not to be with him. >>
Same thing.
<< No, Gale. There is a difference, and you know it. >>
He closed his eyes, exhaling a long breath.
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Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 11:01 pm
Seeing his house, for once, didn't give her that little spark of happiness this time: rather, anxiety began to creep in when the spot of sunshine appeared, and each step closer to it seemed to make the bag feel heavier. He was on the porch looking peaceful with his cup of tea. Stormy had to wonder how long he had chosen to stay outside and felt more stabs of guilt.
< < You are so quick to blame yourself when this was necessary to stop him--though this pustule of a man could have been cut down before it became so needlessly dramatic. > >
I know. I know. But she had played the waiting game again, or more specifically wait and run. And after all the looks she had been given for her mistakes--at the Mist meeting, from Aria, and now from Gale--she was almost ready to just give up ever trusting her own judgment again.
< < Needlessly dramatic, > > Thane repeated.
Be quiet.
Cautiously Stormy approached the porch, her footfalls loud and heavy in the snow as the bag bumped against her. "That smells good," she greeted Gale, shooing her thoughts away so that she could be fully in the present. "What kind of tea is it?"
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Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 11:20 pm
Somehow, he had still expected her to come, even though she had been the one to tell him to go in the first place. There was no surprise on his face as Stormy appeared out of the semi-darkness, the bags in her hand hitting her legs noisily, no indication that he'd even seen her or heard her arrive. Gale curled his legs beneath him and stared out into the town around his little yellow house, the scent of Earl Gray drifting upwards from his teacup.
At first, he didn't speak. He merely waited for her to be the first to break the silence, Gale taking another small sip of tea and letting the heat of it scorch down his throat, remind him that he himself still existed in at least one world, even if that world did not include the girl he was in love with.
Maybe...
<< Stop. >>
It was not a request. Gale's thoughts lapsed back into quiet contemplation, and it was only when Stormy's voice - so familiar to him, so warm and wonderful, even when he felt as though he were carved from stone - cut through the silence that he spoke at all, out to some point above her head, rather than look straight at her.
"Earl Gray," he said mechanically, and took a swallow. "Fancy meeting you here, Ursalina Ortega."
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Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 11:59 pm
It was wrong to feel anxious about returning when she had said she would, but there it was: a cold lump that sat in her chest. But Stormy reasoned with herself that by agreeing with her, he had understood, somehow, why she had asked him to leave, and that he could still be hurt by the request (it was understandable, moreso in hindsight) but that ultimately she would come back with an explanation and an apology. She didn't realize the extent of how much Gale had been wounded by the whole thing until he spoke.
It wasn't quite as stunningly uncharacteristic as that cold tone had been, but . . . It was still foreign to her ears.
"I said I was going to find you afterwards, remember?" she said in a smaller voice, though her furrowed brow belied how wounded she was by his choice to call her by her old name. Gale wasn't even looking at her. Patience, she told herself, partially glad now that most of her emotional turbulence had been spent on Jack. Patience.
Nevertheless, Stormy's face fell at the less than warm greeting. Maybe she should have given him more time? But the last time she had given Gale space, he had thought almost obsessively about the collective bad parts of the tournament; who was to say he wouldn't do similar in this situation? All she wanted to do was find out how to fix everything, but it felt like that revolved around her just shutting up and being punished.
"You're mad at me. I understand." She sat the bag down to give her arm a rest, both it and her feet inches from the bottommost step of the porch. "D'you want me to just leave this and go?" Stormy asked with only sincerity and a tiredness that came out of the crash from too many rises and falls in her emotional state that day. "I don't want to bother you more than I already have," especially for Christmas of all holidays, "but I wanted to make sure I got you your presents before midnight."
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Posted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 11:00 pm
He wished he had the luxury of alcohol to numb his senses, remembered how that had gone the last time they'd both had something to drink, and thought better of it. The tea was soothing anyway, and holding the cup gave his hands something to do, Gale absently smoothing his thumb along the side of it.
"I remember," he answered her simply, and took another sip. "Just didn't know if that was still applicable, or whether you'd change your mind and decide otherwise. You're not obligated to do anything you don't want to do; it's not like we're married or anything."
He almost made it through saying all of it without breaking, but the cadence of his voice tripped slightly on the last few words, Gale's rapid blinking the only other sign that he was barely keeping everything in. Beneath the icy exterior lay a patina of anxiety mixed with the hurt from earlier.
He took another hasty swallow of tea, nearly upsetting the cup in the process, and set it carefully back down in the saucer. It trembled ever so slightly in his fingers, and Gale pressed them more firmly against the porcelain, hoping to hide them from view.
" 'm not mad," said Gale, which was mostly true. Hurt, certainly. Upset and confused, definitely. But what anger he'd felt so far was mostly reserved for Jack, rather than Stormy, seeing as how Jack was the outlet for his current swelling emotions.
Then the rest of Stormy's sentence clicked into place and Gale frowned slightly over his teacup, his gaze flickering towards the bag with an expression of bemusement.
"Presents?"
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Posted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 11:30 pm
"Presents." But she couldn't help but tilt her head at his curious choice of words, her furrowed brow turning less wounded and into something softer. The conversation with Candace echoed in her head which, juxtaposed to the rollercoaster that was their last meeting, made her wince on the inside. Even when Stormy thought she was completely comfortable with him, awkward still ended up being a great way to describe how things happened. Maybe that was her fault too. Never a straight path with Stormy Ortega, no, it always have to go this way and that and curve and bend and wind, up and down, down and up; Wonderland probably made more sense in comparison.
But it was that first answer that stung more somehow, even though it was quite neutral. Clutching the bag again, and more timidly than before, Stormy made her way up the steps of the porch. She bid her time by making sure both feet were on the step first before moving to the next level, and at the top she set it off to the side.
If she had been distracted, if some stray thought or memory had caught her mind's eye, then she wouldn't have noticed the trembling, the strain tapered off in his voice, the overall despondency that muted his reactions. But she wasn't. She wasn't distracted in the least, not even when remembering Candace and Dakota's happy announcement, because she had decided to be resolute in being in the present. And she was tired, very tired, but the cold air kept her focused with an odd clarity.
As if Gale was bound to run away if she moved too fast, Stormy moved slowly and with purpose: first to her knees behind him, and then her arms slid under his and brought him into a close embrace, leaving him free still to drink his tea. "I will never change my mind about you, Gale Gentry," she said softly into his hair, his newly dyed hair, the one that now reminded her not of sunrise but of sunset. "I'm sorry I made you doubt that. And I'm sorry my words weren't enough to prove it before."
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 4:27 pm
She'd brought him presents, which confused him, because he neither expected nor deserved them, not really. She might have thought differently, what with everything that had gone on, but for the most part Gale did not really feel all that worthy of gifts.
He wondered what sort of presents Stormy would have gotten him, remembered what he had gotten her, and then remembered that she had told him to leave her alone with Jack.
Why is everything so messed up?
Caught up in his own thoughts, Gale did not realize that Stormy had moved; not until he heard the creak of the wooden stairs beneath her feet, the soft thump as she got to her knees right behind him. And then, to his surprise, slender arms wrapped around his waist, warm and familiar and a startling reenactment of what he had done to her earlier, back in Stormy's room when she had been falling apart. All he'd done was wrap his arms around her from behind and give her the love he'd held inside of him for so long.
And now she was doing the same to him, her voice soft against his hair.
There was a sharp crash as the teacup slipped from Gale's fingers and landed on the steps, shattering instantly. He made no move to pick it up, however, no jolt of surprise ran through him, Gale frozen where he sat, his heart clenching, his chest aching. He raised a hand - it shook a little, fingers trembling - and laid it across Stormy's arms, holding them in place.
"Don't - " His voice cracked, galling him, his face flushed and hot. Every word was stuttered out through dry lips, his voice hoarse. "Don't - leave - "
He curled his fingers around hers, so tightly that his knuckles were white. "Don't leave me," Gale said through clenched teeth, and he leaned back into Stormy's warmth, selfishly and greedily drawing her arms more firmly around his waist so that he could cocoon himself within her grasp.
"Don't leave me, my love."
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 6:22 pm
She watched the teacup fall and braced for the loud crash, for once not startled by the noise even though it hurt her sensitive ears. Breaking things. That's what she seemed to be good at, through her actions, her decisions, her mere influence even.
And that was why Stormy had meant it when she told him she wanted to build something with her own hands: to remind herself that broken things didn't have to be her legacy. Even this that they had together...how often had she made a crack? Keeping Gale waiting, stressing over the newest dilemma, making the wrong choices with the right intent and dragging him along with her, or the next personal paradox revealed for confusion: that she could care for someone so much she was ready to do anything, even if it meant harm to herself, to make them safe and happy, and yet wouldn't lift a finger to do the same for herself.
Every strained word that left him made her bite the inside of her lip harder in a bid not to cry, because it was only while in this position that she recognized it for what it was: a parallel to what had happened in her room. The only difference was that Gale had never left her side, while she had. And it didn't matter that she had done so in order to stop them both from being pulled under into that nasty vortex that seemed to surround Jack, it didn't matter that she made herself perfectly clear as far as what would happen the next time he caused trouble, and it didn't matter that for once she had triumphed over her ex, because she had sent Gale away when he had only been defending her.
"I'm so sorry." Stormy couldn't tell if she was hot or cold anymore, or if the trembling in her hands and arms was only from the force of pulling him in so close she could scarcely breathe. "I-I'm so sorry I hurt you..." Keep calm. Her grip remained secure and tight as he leaned back, though even that closeness didn't feel enough to make up for everything.
Kissing his hair, she let her head rest over his shoulder and took a shaky, deep breath. "I'm...I'm not like you, Gale. Sometimes I need to go here and there, and sometimes why doesn't make sense. But I will never leave this spot no matter what happens," she declared quietly. "Never again. I might float off in a cloud or get lost at sea in my head, but I swear to you I'll always come back and be at your side, no matter what happens around us. And I will be here to hold and support you when you don't feel brave or strong or smart or important until you remember that you are and get back up again, so long as you let me." She was prepared to stay curled around him for as long as he needed, frosty night or not; it was the least she could do after what he had done for her.
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 6:51 pm
He didn't deserve her, didn't deserve any of it, but he needed her so badly that sometimes it hurt, that sometimes he felt overwhelmed by the sheer amount of feelings that he held towards her. Maybe it was because he'd never been in a relationship before, or maybe because it was he'd spent most of his life watching everyone around him be happy that he'd never really understood what it felt until right here in this moment.
It was pathetic, the way his fingers trembled, and the way that his heart seemed to beat right out of his chest, but Gale kept himself wrapped close to Stormy, as close as he could be, his back against her chest, feeling the pulse of her heart in the wrist his fingers lay across.
"I know that," he said softly, and dragged one of her hands up to his lips, kissing the palm of it. "I know that, but I...hated when you told me to go, because it felt like you didn't...that you were sending me away because you didn't want me anymore, that you wanted...him."
Just thinking about Jack sent a wave of anger washing over him, Gale closing his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, he was a little calmer, and he drew in a ragged breath. "I don't want to lose you, ever," he said quietly. "I know I told you that I would still love you even if you decided you didn't love me, and I still stand by that...but it doesn't mean that I ever want to let you go, because I can't. I need you."
Gale pushed forward, breaking free of Stormy's hold and twisting around on his knees. One hand slid through her hair, cradling the back of her head, and the other the side of her face and he kissed her, desperation and fear and hurt and affection all rolled into one.
He leaned his forehead against hers, fingers against the back of her neck.
"I love you," he mumbled, and it was shy and hesitant and quiet, Gale biting his lower lip. "Please stay with me."
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 7:59 pm
Stormy thought she had words ready for a response, but it still hurt her to know that he could doubt her when it came to Jack., that of all the people he would fear losing her to, it would be him. Her mouth closed temporarily for the same reason he needed to shut his eyes, and then she took another deep breath through her nose and exhaled. "Did . . . you really think I could say no thanks, just like that?" she couldn't help but ask in an undertone before she could stop herself, unable to hide sounding at least a little hurt. "After everything?"
< < Is this the sort of trust you have engendered? How flimsy. > >
I told you, be quiet.
Gale met resistance when he pushed out of her grasp, a small panic running through her at the prospect of speaking face to face after that. She hadn't realized just how much she had collapsed herself around him until her body began to relax back out, his warmth replaced with cold air. Stormy quickly made two decisions (to explain and to hug herself), but then Gale was pulling her in and she completely forgot them, eager to keep him close again. Tired before, somehow the kiss invigorated her with how emotionally charged he made it, and her arms snaked around his neck to keep her steady throughout; it was so hard not to just lose herself in it as she had many times before, but it was important, in her mind, to be steady for him, not needy as she was tempted to show.
She responded first with another kiss, short and soft. "Of course. I don't want to be anywhere else." Then Stormy paused, and with a little smile added, "Except maybe inside. I'll get the presents if you get more tea?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 9:30 pm
Stormy's injured voice matched the hurt that he had felt when she had told him to leave. Gale closed his eyes against the sound because it made his heart ache. "I don't know what to think anymore," he said softly. "Not because of this, but because he makes me crazy, and sometimes I feel like even I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know you like he does, I don't have all the memories of you that you shared with him - "
His voice broke a little, and he stopped, Gale exhaling a long, shakey breath. The insecurities and doubts that he always liked to pretend he didn't have, that he buried beneath the calm and collected facades were simmering just beneath the surface, threatening to spill over and taint everything they touched.
Kissing her, at least, while not an explanation, was a reassurance, something that reminded him of her warmth and her solidarity. Gale kept his forehead against hers and his eyes were still closed, his fingers curling where they lay against the sides of her neck.
Her lips touched his, gentle and soft. Gale leaned into the responding kiss, feeling pathetic because this time it was not Stormy that he was comforting or consoling, it was Stormy comforting and consoling him.
"Inside is better," he mumbled, and forced himself to stand, pulling Stormy with him, the blood rushing to his legs. He slid his hand against Stormy's, interlacing their fingers in an iron tight grip as though he were afraid if he let go, she would float away again.
Then he pulled her inside and shut the door, the cold slipping free in favor of the little warmth of his house, though Gale was reluctant to release his hold on Stormy's fingers to get the tea; evident by the way he leaned back against the door, still looking at the floor and holding her hand.
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 10:14 pm
She should have just kept quiet. But Stormy swallowed back the impulse to apologize and merely gave him a sympathetic look before letting him lead her in, grabbing the bag of presents on the way over.
"Sometimes I feel like even I don't know who I am anymore."
God, did that hit home. She had to steel herself against pursuing that topic just yet.
The silence might have frightened her if Gale's grip hadn't been so tight; at least with that, she understood he was engaged in one of his internal battles with Jack as the trigger. Stormy hesitated for a moment before speaking. "He has that effect," she mumbled, "though he didn't use to." She was afraid to go on further in case it triggered something else, though it ached to see him like that. Maybe it was best just to go a little at a time, then.
"Here, I'll help."
Wiggling her fingers in his iron grip just to show that there was still life, she began to try and lead him from the door and into the living room first. The going was slow, the steps measured almost like a dance and punctuated by aimless humming until she came across the carol she wanted: "Night of Silence". Then, humming the intro as best she could, Stormy dropped the bag by the couch and began to since the first verse as she turned them back to the kitchen. Other times she had sounded hesitant at first when singing, but tonight while her voice was still softer than average, it was by no means timid. She wanted to keep the silence away because it was the kind that hovered and darkened moods, that sapped optimism and replaced it with doubt.
After the first verse, Stormy reverted to "Silent Night" since the words were practically ingrained in her head by this point, and she needed to somewhat concentrate to remember where Gale put his pots and teabags and then attend to them with one hand. As water filled the kettle, she tapped a beat lightly against it. "They're my favorite carols," she explained to Gale as she pulled it up and slid it towards the stove, switching it on afterwards. "You can actually sing them together at the same time. Even though it's hard to make out the words to both at the same time, it's the combined melodies that really gets you, I think."
Talking, singing, anything with her voice to keep the silence out.
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 11:21 pm
The silence had the same effect on Gale that it was having on Stormy; it was the sort of quiet that slipped in with sticky fingers and dragged you down, pulled you beneath the surface and made one wallow in the mire of self doubts and depression. It was stifling, overwhelming, and Gale was glad of the fact that Stormy seemed to understand this, because she kept talking and it kept the silence at bay.
"Though he didn't use to" sounded like it could either be a defense or a weary fact, Gale decided to go with the latter, rather than the former for the sole reason of keeping things the way they were. Not only that, but he knew Stormy at least well enough to understand that she was not defending her ex-boyfriend, but merely giving a small bit of insight into his history with her.
The history that Gale had not been a part of.
He listened mutely to Stormy's humming, the sound of her voice and the music soothing him as she pulled him into the tiny kitchen in the little yellow house. Holding her hand was perhaps hindering the process, but Gale was afraid of breaking the connection, of letting go of Stormy only to watch her drift away.
So instead, he annoyingly kept his fingers laced with hers, refusing to budge on his stance. He reached for a lighter and fiddled with it momentarily until it finally lit the stove (which was acting up, as usual). Merry flames flickered warmly beneath the teapot, and Gale lifted his free hand to one of the cabinets, pulling down a set of saucers and teacups one by one before placing them neatly on the counter, a spoon and a teabag lying beside them.
"I always liked O Holy Night," said Gale quietly, as he shifted one of the teabags. While he wasn't speaking mechanically, there was a muted tone to his voice, less because of hurt or anger, and more because he was doing the same thing she was; answering questions and replying to keep the silence from consuming him.
"Though it always sounded a little wonky when sung as a pop song. There are just some songs that shouldn't be remixed or remade, and that's one of them."
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