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 Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2013 2:52 pm
He had to laugh at that, though it was slightly less cheerful than it normally would have been, his breath ghost across Shiloh's face. "Jeez," said Ian, and pulled him down for another kiss, mouth open and insistent, his fingers tangling in Shiloh's hair. "You're so hot, I hope you realize that."
He pulled away and lay back, his other arm wrapped Shiloh's waist, his expression softening. "Hot, sexy, wonderful," said Ian quietly, his hand gliding tenderly over Shiloh's collarbone. "And endlessly patient for putting up with someone like me."
His fingers touched raised skin; one of the scars on Shiloh's chest, and Ian's breath hitched abruptly, pressing his lips together. Slowly he traced one of the lines, his eyes following where his fingers moved. "I meant...what I said earlier," Ian muttered, not looking at Shiloh, but still fixed on the scars that he felt unbelievably, terribly responsible for. "I ******** around a lot before I came here, Alistaire wasn't lying about that. I don't - I didn't," he corrected himself, "do relationships, not really. What I wanted, I went after, and after I got it, well, that was that."
Ian's hand stilled, then pressed flat against Shiloh's chest, searching for the beat of his heart. "But I want you," he said, and still his eyes were focused on the scars, as though he couldn't tear his gaze away; either that, or he was too flustered and embarrassed to look at Shiloh in the face, too scared to wonder if he'd ******** things up again. "I want you...in my life...for as long as you'll have me in it."
Admitting it out loud was hard, and every word was stilted, awkward, tense, Ian's face flushed from a combination of nerves and their earlier activities. He finally found Shiloh's heart and pressed the palm of his hand flat over it, wanting to feel it.
"I'm stupid," he said softly. "I don't know why, and I don't know if I can do it, because I've never been in just a regular relationship before, a normal one, but ********, if there was ever a time that I wanted to be in one, it's right now."
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Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:20 pm
Shiloh shook his head as Ian pulled away, breathy all over again as he leaned over Ian. “Not so sure about that,” he said with a chuckle. “Just you know, excited- I mean, well, you know what I mean. I’m still just fumbling around with all this but,” he leaned down, stealing Ian’s tactic as he pressed in for another kiss, a little lighter but needy all the same, “I have a good teacher.” He smiled, it was easy to be patient, especially with someone who bestowed the same kindness with him, who’d been willing to wait for him when he wasn’t ready, who still was willing to show him the ropes. It wasn’t putting up when it came to Ian, because he cared about him, he didn’t just tolerate, he cherished everything, and every opportunity to try to convince Ian of the good person he believed he was. Silence fell over him as Ian’s fingers found his chest, and the raised scars there. He grimaced, Ian’s touch was gentle and they were practically healed anyway, just ugly in the way they crisscrossed across his skin and Shiloh wondered if they’d ever go away. Absentmindedly he ran his tongue over his lip, complete with its own matching axe-nick, looking up only when Ian began to speak again, Ian's hand trailing across his chest until it found the thump of his heart, its pace having quickened as Ian continued on. Was everything okay? “If you’re stupid, I’m stupid too,” he said, ducking his face against Ian’s with a soft bit of laughter. “You have a history but that doesn’t mean… I’m not judging you for what you did back then, and I’m not going to. I’ve never had the opportunity myself, you know? So it’s not like I could even say that I wouldn’t have done the same… Or anything like that. I’ve never done this and I don’t really understand what this means, but I want you too. I want to be in your life, you know, I want to try.” He lowered himself next to Ian, taking his hand in his over his chest as he snuggled in beside him. “Man, there’s this whole mess of feelings that I have no idea what to make of or what to do with and you're at the center of all of them and it’s scary as hell but that’s just it isn’t it, it’s new and scary but that’s kind of why its exciting too and I’m just this goofball flopping around next to you but it’s fun and I like you, Ian.” Shiloh gave Ian’s hand a squeeze. “We’re trying this out, this whole dating thing. I’m not asking you,” a giggle, “To marry me, or nothin’ like that. Just that if you like me, you like me and if you ever stop, well, just promise you’ll be honest with me okay? If you’ve gotta go, you gotta go, but I’ll be honest with you right now, I don’t think I can do the whole jumping around thing, I’m a one gal… Er, guy kind of guy.” He smiled again, trying to lighten what he was saying some. “That being said, you’re the guy I want so, as long as you want to stay, I’m glad to have you.”
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Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:41 pm
"If I haven't already proven to you just how hot I find you," said Ian dryly, "then I haven't been doing my job right."
The returned kiss was accepted with a smile, Ian arching slightly to press into it, his hand against the side of Shiloh's face. "And I can make you more excited, if you want," he murmured as he pulled away, a devilish glint in his eyes. "Though I'm pretty sure we just had a nice bit of excitement a few moments ago."
But then he lay back against the pillows and sighed, toying with a bit of Shiloh's hair. Everything was a mess inside of his head, confusing and frightening and unclear, except for the singular fact that he wanted - needed Shiloh to be in his life more than he could possibly admit even to himself. There was precious little to be had on the island, hardly anything that he could say that he liked about it except for the people, really - and Shiloh was the one thing that kept him sane, kept him moving instead of stagnating.
He didn't want to lose that anytime soon.
At the very least, it seemed he wasn't the only one with a confusing mess in his head. Ian's expression softened the longer he listened, and he curled his fingers with Shiloh's, gently brushing his thumb over his hand. The word marriage, even just bandied about jokingly, was terrifying, Ian pushing it away quickly, but the rest of what Shiloh said was honest and simple and exactly what he both needed and wanted to hear.
Ian shifted on the bed, rolling so that he was partly over Shiloh, one arm sliding beneath his bare back to hold him close. "I like you," he said, and dipped his head, pressing a kiss to the spot on Shiloh's mouth where there was a tiny nick. Then he slid lower, and kissed one of the scars criss-crossed over his chest, gentle and careful, before moving back up again, his fingers tangling in Shiloh's hair.
"I promise that I'll be honest with you," he said. "And right now the honest truth is that I like you. I like the way your eyes crinkle a little when you laugh, and sometimes you scrunch up your nose too. I like that you use words like goofball and flopping and gal. I like the way you get breathless easily," he added, a teasing twinkle in his eyes.
Ian's voice had grown soft. "I like the way that you feel in my arms," he said, and it was almost a whisper, as though he were afraid of admitting it out loud. "And I like that you like me, because I definitely...definitely...like you."
He touched the side of Shiloh's face, trailing his fingers down his neck tenderly before they splayed across his chest again, absently smoothing over the scars. "I have some gifts for you, by the way," Ian said abruptly, suddenly remembering. "Christmas presents, what have you," he added, by way of explanation. And then he added, just to be obnoxious, "Though if you wanted to do a little more fumbling, I'm sure I could do some more teaching."
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Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:26 pm
“You’re terrible,” Shiloh laughed but he meant the exact opposite as he nuzzled his face closer to Ian’s against the pillow, his breath warm on Ian’s cheek. Ian was anything but terrible, he teased Shiloh in all the right ways and Shiloh did feel hot under his gaze, not just because of his offer, but because of the way Ian looked at him, the way he acted around him, it made Shiloh feel like he was special, like he had something to offer. Ian made him feel so incredibly wanted. It was addictive. He knew what he wanted, and it was Ian, even if it was frighteningly new it wanted every experience, his hesitation only inexperience that was quickly being replaced by an eagerness to just love and live. He’d held back before, and look what had happened. If it happened again, to either of them, the circumstances might be permanent, and instead of recoiling into himself, protecting himself he wanted to do just the opposite, he wanted to give this everything he had because it seemed foolish not to, seemed foolish to waste precious time. Knowing how he felt, however, didn’t change the fact that voicing those feelings was still impossibly hard and he smiled, as Ian moved over him, his lips finding the scar on his lip, and then the ones on his chest, as Ian listed the ways he liked him, as Ian, his voice grown soft, admitted that he liked him. Shiloh smiled, cause he knew how difficult it was to summon that courage, at least to him and he pushed himself up, just enough that he could kiss Ian again. “Good,” he said, his tone light. “Then we’re on the same page. As for the rest, we’ll just go with things as they come. Right?” At the mention of gift, he sat up even more, pulling Ian up with him. “Gifts! I totally forgot! I got you some too but didn’t have to get me anything you know, gosh, that’s sweet,” he rambled a bit as he leaned over and kissed Ian’s cheek, then slipped from beneath the covers, looking for passable clothing, pausing for a minute to glance back at Ian. “I want to give you your stuff first,” he grinned, “Isn’t it always good to suck up to the teacher?”
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Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:52 pm
He had been relentless most days before the incident, Ian casually reaching to touch Shiloh's hand or his shoulder or wrap an arm around his waist, pressing kisses here and there when no one was looking. Physical affection, after all, was something Ian knew best how to do, and when he was at a loss for words, he filled the space with hugs and touches and warmth.
But now that he had almost lost Shiloh, it was as though a switch had flicked. Ian seemed almost incapable of keeping his hands to himself, a near obsessive desire to be next to him, wrap his fingers around Shiloh's, feel for the pulse that beat beneath the skin. It was mostly subconscious; but a part of Ian just wanted to feel; to remind himself that Shiloh was alive, that he was not just a hallucination inside of his head, that he was not just a ghostly remnant of his former self.
He was already head over heels and he couldn't even admit it to himself.
Ian rolled over in bed and sat up to watch as Shiloh climbed out, his eyes unabashedly flicking over him in the near darkness. A smirk on his face, Ian slipped to the edge of the bed and stood up, moving to wrap his arms tightly around Shiloh's waist from behind.
"I can think of plenty of things that involve the latter part of that sentence," he murmured, pressing a kiss first to Shiloh's ear and then tilting his head back to nibble playfully at the underside of his jaw. Then he pushed him away, shaking his head as Ian went to search for his own clothes, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a black shirt. "All right, you brat, get some clothes on before I drag you back into bed and show you the proper way of sucking up to your teacher."
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Posted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 11:02 pm
Shiloh had no objections to Ian’s need to touch, at least not in private. The public part was coming along far better, Shiloh learning to let go and enjoy when Ian’s hand found his hand, or his waist, or when he affectionately snuck a quick kiss. It was still new, and there were times that his heart still leapt to his throat in initial panic but the fact of the matter was that it was circumstance that encouraged that feeling, Ian was not the cause. And, as the days wore on, it seemed like he might be the solution. While he didn’t seek it out quite as much as his boyfriend, Shiloh craved the attention, the affection and he loved every minute of Ian’s hands on him, of just having him near and being able to feel the warmth of his body leaning against him. It was no different when Ian moved from the bed, and finding his way to Shiloh’s backside, his arms slipping around his waist. Shiloh adored it. He adored the way Ian whispered into his ear, his lips following his sly words and Shiloh grinned, basking in the attention as Ian’s mouth moved and found his jaw, starting to consider that perhaps presents could wait a little bit. But then Ian was moving, taking his warm body and teasing mouth with him with what Shiloh knew was not an empty threat, something that left him standing there for a second, speechless. Spotting his pants, he grabbed the jeans and pulled them on, his hooded sweater following soon after, trying to think of a good enough comeback. Ian had trumped him, however, so he settled instead for throwing up a wadded ball of fabric at Ian, something that looked suspiciously like his boxers. “Something to think about. Merry Christmas!” he grinned, before skittering towards and out the door. It was only a second before he poked his head sheepishly back in. “I’m sorry, I swear I have actual presents for you.”
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Posted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 11:10 pm
Ian may or may not have been cackling a little as he darted away, leaving Shiloh speechless in the middle room and moving to his closet to find the bag of presents he'd stashed there. But he'd meant it, for the most part, and besides, he needed the cool air of the hallway to help alleviate some of the heat that had spread over him just from a few simple touches like a hug. Normally he wouldn't have bothered, would have kept going until they were both breathless and exhausted, but Alistaire's words were still heavy inside of his head.
How long until Shiloh left him, like all the others had?
Something hit him in the back of the head, jolting Ian out of his inner musings. He twisted around, catching sight of Shiloh before the other slipped away - at least for a few moments. Rolling his eyes, Ian picked his way around the bed and reached out, grabbing Shiloh by the front of his shirt and planting an obnoxious, smacking kiss on his lips.
"Can you be my present?" he asked innocently, stepping out the door and pulling it shut behind him. Automatically he reached for Shiloh's hand, threading their fingers together casually.
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 6:53 pm
“If that’s the case, you’ve already had your present,” Shiloh grinned less innocently, laughing a little as Ian shut the door, his hand quickly finding Shiloh’s. As he felt the warmth of Ian’s fingers against his, Shiloh’s grin faded into a softer sort of smile. Out of all the things they did, no matter how amazing they felt, he had to admit that he was a sucker for holding hands. It was no surprise, seeing it had been something he’d always dreamed of, finding someone that he cared about enough to hold hands like all the couples he saw doing the same. And to do so unabashedly, as they made their way down the hall to Shiloh’s room, was a greater gift than any material good. He swung their hands gently between them, peeking curiously over at the bag in Ian’s hand. Ian might have already given him some of the best gifts, but that didn’t mean he wasn't curious about the more tangible ones. He wasn’t subtle about looking either, not paying attention to where they were going and almost walking right past his door.
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 7:04 pm
Ian's expression was petulant. "That wasn't nearly enough of a proper present, then," he said with obvious exaggeration "I demand a redo of said present; or rather, several redos, all to be completed before the end of the day and hopefully soon."
But then he drew Shiloh's hand up to his mouth and gently kissed his fingers, a look of pure affection in his eyes. To anyone walking by, it would be obvious just how much he adored the man walking beside him, even if Ian himself was still reluctant to admit it. He squeezed Shiloh's hand, their fingers laced tightly together, and then tugged backwards to make him stop.
"You just walked past your room, goofball," he said, and laughed, shaking his head. "And no peeking," he added, dragging the bag of presents away from view. "You'll get your presents soon enough."
He gestured towards Shiloh's room. "Get in, doufuss."
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 8:28 pm
Shiloh turned a bright shade of red as Ian’s lips found his fingers, kissing gently over them, his breath hot and dewy against his skin. It wasn’t enough that Ian was teasing him with words; he had to exercise his talent at knowing exactly how to make Shiloh melt. “I’ll redo you alright,” Shiloh warned, but his tone was light and laughing as he unlocked his door and backed into it, tugging Ian in after him. “Fine, fine, no peeking. But you can’t peek either.” He guided Ian towards his bed, it being the comfiest place to sit, and also safely out of direct line of sight from his closet. “Turn around, and no looking,” Shiloh instructed him before heading over to his closet. He opened the doors, and began rummaging around inside, shooting a glance back at Ian to make sure he did as told. “I meant to wrap them but things kind of got away from me.” He felt bad about not having wrapped them, but then, as he realized he didn’t have wrapping paper, he didn’t know what he would have wrapped them with, even if he had had the time. As it was, he set to work scooping all of Ian’s gifts together into his arms, and hoping that Ian would like them. They weren’t much, and they were limited entirely by the store’s he’d managed to hit, but he had tried to be thoughtful and get good presents all the same. “Are you ready?”
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Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 9:15 pm
The shade of scarlet that covered Shiloh's cheeks, combined with the teasing comment, was almost enough to make Ian forget the present opening and settle for a different kind of gift altogether; but he decided against, mostly because he was attempting to steer away from making Shiloh think he was only in this for the sex.
Still, when they were safely ensconced in the room, Ian let go of Shiloh's hand to wind his arm around his waist and pull him close, nuzzling his cheek with his nose. "Redo me anytime you want, baby," he said, laughter in his voice, and he pecked an affection kiss to Shiloh's forehead before letting go, swatting a hand at his behind. "Fine, go, I promise I won't peek.
"...much."
But he was good and sat on the bed, one leg crossed over the other, determinedly facing the opposite direction. "I'm not looking," Ian said, rolling his eyes good naturedly, but the latter part of Shiloh's comments hit a little harder than they were intended to hit.
"I meant to wrap them, but things kind of got away from me."
Yeah, like your ******** life, Ian thought, his chest tightening; he took a deep, steadying breath, pushed those thoughts out of his head, and waited for Shiloh to finish, jiggling a leg impatiently.
"I was born ready," Ian answered, in an exaggerated tone of voice. "Can I look yet?"
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Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:11 pm
“You’re quite the charmer today,” Shiloh said as he skipped away from Ian’s swatting hand with a laugh and another shake of his head. Not that he had anything against redoing things, but things had really gotten away from him, and he wanted Ian to see his presents before the year was up, or worse, before anything derailed his plans again. His arms were full at he turned around, rolling his eyes at Ian’s comment. He tried to gently place everything onto the bed and Ian’s lap, but it all sort of tumbled out ungracefully, and Shiloh hastily bent over, picking a couple pieces up and placing them back on the bed. When he was satisfied that nothing else was going to roll off, he grinned, excited to see Ian’s reactions. “Okay, open them.”
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Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:49 pm
"I'm always charming," Ian said breezily, just before he was bombarded with a pile of things, more things than he would have guessed (though he'd gone sightly overboard himself). They tumbled over his legs and onto the floor, both Ian and Shiloh grappling to pile them all back up on the bed in untidy heaps.
"Wow," said Ian, his eyes wide with surprise. "This is...wow."
The first several things were clothes, all of which were right down Ian's alley. He gave a laugh of amusement at the teeshirts, and a hum of pleasure at the jackets, running his hand over the smooth leather of the second one.
"You've got good taste, duck," said Ian, tossing a grin back at Shiloh. The Ray of Sunshine made him laugh more, but the Grumpy teeshirt had him rolling, Ian reaching out to affectionately push at Shiloh's shoulder.
"Are you calling me grumpy?" he said. "You brat."
As he unfolded the last few, however, which were in smaller boxes, there was a distinct change. The first, which contained a pair of very nice sunglasses, Ian stuck them on to model, giving an approving nod. "These are great," he said. "You really didn't have to go all out, you know, I mean, I'm not worth that much..."
The rest of his sentence trailed off as he pulled out the last two presents. For a moment, he seemed lost in thought, Ian holding up the leather bracelets in one hand, his thumb smoothing over the material absently. The other thing - a tiny silver charm - he held in the palm of his other hand.
He felt strangely anxious by the charm, oddly nervous, but at the same time, his heart beat erratically in his chest; an uneven rhythm.
"Wow, Shy," Ian said softly, and cast a glance over at his boyfriend. "This is...it's really great."
Carefully he looped the charm onto the bracelet and then lifted it, twisting the whole thing around his own wrist. It took a bit of finagling, but he finally got it on properly, and the charm dangled merrily from his wrist. Ian smiled at it, and then reached out to curl his fingers in the hem of Shiloh's shirt, pulling him to stand between his legs.
"I love it," he said gently, and reached up to curve his hand around Shiloh's neck and draw him down for a kiss. If Shiloh were looking close enough, he would see the flash of bright blue and a glimpse of yellow from beneath Ian's shirt sleeve, hidden behind the black fabric.
"Thank you," Ian said, when he pulled away. He smoothed a thumb over Shiloh's lower lip and smiled. "They're wonderful, thank you sweetheart."sammpai this was longer than I expected whoops
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Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:15 pm
“I was kind of limited in store options but I’m glad I picked out okay things!” Shiloh said, happily watching as Ian pulled out the clothes, then the soaps. The Grumpy shirt had him laughing too, and he leaned over to point at the shirt clearly. “Are you arguing that you’re not?” he grinned, leaning further to press in for a quick kiss. “But look, see, it says ‘Grumpy Men Rule’. And besides, when I borrow it, it’ll just be that much funnier, right?” He picked up some of the discarded packaging and straightened back up, crumpling it a bit anxiously in his hands as Ian got to the more special presents. He hadn’t needed to spend that much, and he was sure Ian would have been happy with whatever he’d gotten him but Shiloh had grown up in a home where money had never been an issue, and the mentality carried over. The price tag hadn’t factored in when he’d bought the sunglasses, he’d just seen them and knew that he wanted them. They were gold and striking and would look downright perfect on Ian, and all that mattered was that Ian liked them. The bracelet too, was special, in a different way. There had been lots of charms to choose from, and at first the saleswoman had steered him towards more romantic ones, and like Ian, he balked a bit at the idea of something that said something so boldly. After all, Shiloh didn’t even know if just a charm was too much, let alone one that had hearts on it or something like that. But when he had seen the duck charm, he’d laughed, and it was even more perfect than the sunglasses. He couldn’t resist. So when Ian smiled, and put the bracelet on right away, Shiloh beamed, his own smile only growing wider as Ian pulled him close, happily sinking into the kiss that sealed Ian’s approval of his gifts. “I’m glad you like it,” he grinned against Ian’s mouth. “Now you can always have a little duck with you.” Shiloh lingered close to him for a moment, moving to wrap his arms around Ian. He was about to dip in for another kiss when, as he spared a glance at Ian’s wrist, something else caught his eye, something blue and yellow and not Ian’s usual bracelet. “Hey, what’s that?” he asked, curiosity insatiable as he forgot all about his intended path towards Ian’s lips, and instead reached for his sleeve. kurotomato yeah what are short posts again?
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Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:26 pm
Like Shiloh, Ian had grown up in a home where money had never been an issue. But unlike Shiloh, Ian's home had not ever really practiced the custom of giving gifts, whether at Christmas or birthdays or any other day of the year. A card and a check, sometimes, but mostly just a pat on the back, an approving nod from his parents. Most of the time not even that from his older siblings.
Which was why all of this was foreign to Ian, who was still flabbergasted by the sheer amount of gifts that were currently piled beside him on the bed. He couldn't quite understand why someone would spend that much on him, go through all that trouble just to get him some Christmas presents.
And yet, here they were.
Ian wrapped his arms around Shiloh's waist and pulled him down to sit facing him in his lap, smiling happily against his lips. "I like this duck very much too," said Ian devilishly, and was tilting his head to accept Shiloh's offered kiss when the other diverted, reaching for -
Ian jerked his wrist unintentionally, panic swelling. "It's, um," he said, but there was no time to hide the bracelet currently tied to his wrist. He'd slipped it off earlier, before their little tryst in bed, but had stuck it back as he'd gotten dressed, his wrist feeling naked without its customary bracelets. Now, however, the bright blue string patterned with yellow ducks was on view for all the world to see.
Meaning Shiloh, the person he'd been attempting to hide it from.
"It's..." Ian said, gesturing lamely. His face was flushed. "I, um...made it. While you were, um...well, look, it's just a silly little thing, is all, no big deal."
He trailed off, clamping his mouth shut.sammpai idk anymore flies off cliff
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