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 Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 11:29 am
Oh my this was frustrating. Neo thought she was a pain in the butt, but Nikandros might have been winning at this very moment. "Are you not understanding me? The act of leaving is not just the issue." She sighed while rolling her eyes. She supposed she did need to calm down a bit. She bit her lip while taking another deep breath. "It hurt my feelings that you just assumed I wouldn't want to give you support in this obvious time of need. Clearly something is on your mind. I said I was here to help."
She didn't want him navigating alone. And who better then someone who wouldn't judge him? She was still willing to be supportive right now. She wanted to believe that she could make him feel better as well.
"And another thing." she said lightly, while lowering her shiny eyes. "You have yet to call me friend, not even once, and I keep emphasizing it to you. Am I the one living in a fantasy of my own? Or do you consider me a friend? Because a friend would not treat me this way, and that is precisely what I am trying to point out to you."
And if she was the idiot here, maybe it was time for her to walk away...
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Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 11:48 am
His obvious time of need? Evidently the mare was under the impression that the kalona had sobered him, or even brought back unpleasant memories. He couldn't dispute that they had certainly reminded him of a number of memories, or rather, brought them to the forefront of his mind to reflect upon, but he wasn't the tortured soul she seemed to think he was! He regarded her with a puzzled expression for more than a few moments, his head tilting to the side - in some regards, he assumed she was living in a fantasy, but he refrained from pointing this out.
"I will confess that I do not understand your train of thought," he replied and released a sigh. "I am uncertain as to how this is my 'time of need', unless moments of reflection are regarded as such by normal individuals," he hazarded. Granted he might have been stepping on a landmine, based on her reactions, he wasn't entirely sure of which path was the safest to take! Nevertheless he had never been one to lie and it was due to this, and his respect for the mare, that he wouldn't do so now... he wasn't the best at sugar coating anyway.
"It is not that I do not regard you as a friend, I merely note your apprehension and obvious uncertainty in regards to my nature," he continued, "Or former nature," he corrected after a moment. "Relationships are still a foreign concept to me, one that I continue to explore, but I had assumed that a core part of such things was respect and a desire to protect said individuals from that which might cause them harm on either an emotional or physical level, no?"
"It was not through disrespect that I left you be, I did so out of respect for your remark. You hoped never to meet one of those individuals I spoke of, I can not ignore that I am one. Do you see now?"
Had he said it right?
...Or was she going to do that explosive rage-face that Shizukii had done the day Resynn had informed her that her hair was 'poofy'. The Russian stallion had quickly discovered this was the wrong term of phrase, but not before it was too late.
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Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 2:05 pm
Her train of thought was one that went too quickly, but in her defense the day had certainly taken a turn from taking a quiet stroll to unveiling his complete past, which still remained mysterious! That, and also Neo being a drama queen meant quite the exhausting past couple of minutes.
Neo thought for a bit of time after the stallion spoke, easing her mind in how she wanted to phrase what she was thinking. Suffice to say, the stallion had been through a lot, and most of it was ages from Neo's understanding. With all of that in mind, all she could only think frankly and speak truthfully. This was all so not complicated for her, which may have made her a lucky creature.
"I do see, and thank you for explaining it out. But my answer is I forgive your former nature. I forgive all of it. You've never treated me that way, and in the contrary you've been so kind. So in truth it doesn't affect me, and I can move past it."
Was the stallion punishing himself? As she imagined this was all too deep and big for her silly brain. But what she did know is she liked bugging the stallion in front of her, and that was enough to keep them both happy, right?
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Posted: Tue Jan 14, 2014 12:57 pm
He was fairly certain he was being psycho-analysed by the mare and concluded that this must be a 'female thing' as the Russian stallion had once advised him. Thus, he took yet another tidbit of advice from the same stallion and kept quiet as she spoke. While he might have an opinion, he wasn't about to voice it, instead he would let her get what she needed to say off her chest. She'd feel better for it and while he wouldn't necessarily understand it, he was quickly beginning to learn that there were some things he didn't need to understand... This happened to be one of them.
The urge to psychoanalyze him that was, not Neo in general.
"My nature remains the same, Neo," he pointed out softly and shook his head. Perhaps it was best not to argue, she seemed to have a very set view of who and what he was, who was he to shatter that? If he was quite honest he assumed that even if he did, she would probably argue with him anyway! "Nevertheless if you are certain that you are comfortable in my presence, despite the utterance of your previous wish, then I will not dispute it."
There, he had conceded defeat - he'd done it right, hadn't he - this was what a stallion was meant to do on these occasions?
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Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 5:39 pm
Neo wasn't one who liked argumentation. When she needed to vocalize her opinions or emotions, she supposed it was worth it to put everything out there. In this case she was glad she had spoken up. She hoped the stallion could understand her feelings behind all of it. Couldn't he just understand he had a fan, or rather a supporter throughout all of this?
It probably was extremely immature of her to think he would be happy to have her on his side. She liked to believe there was always someone or something to fight for. She finally had a friend she could do that for... and she probably screwed up the opportunity due to her poor communication skills!
She took a long deep breath and sighed. "Thank you." She finally said. "Now... where shall we go. And what new conversation shall we talk about?" She lit up with her usual excitement.
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Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:06 am
It was definitely a female thing, or so he concluded as her mood transformed from indignant to positively radiant. Fortunately, he was not like other stallions who would have remarked or dwelt upon it for longer; instead he merely accepted that this was very much a quirk of her gender and left it be. They did say the spirits or patron god of these parts was feminine and as they regarded nature as such a thing, this seemed somewhat appropriate - after all, nature could be both beautiful and terrifying depending on whichever mood took its fancy, although the day Neo became as terrifying as a squall would be entertaining.
Well, entertaining for a short time before he lost a limb.
"We may talk about whichever subject you prefer," he said amicably, lips curving into a wry smile as he returned to his usual self. He'd never been one to express excitement, but he had developed an understanding that facial expressions were a thing and it wasn't a bad idea to use them, especially while being sociable! "You were gone for a time, did you find or at least make progress, in your quest for a herd?" he said at last.
"At least, hat is what I recall your quest was before, for all I know this may have changed."
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Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:08 pm
She wasn't one who allowed negative emotions to linger. Perhaps for others there was preference for staying within one set up emotions, but she rather enjoyed bouncing right back from any situation that came up. Why dwell and be a downer if he was willing to move past any conflict as well?
At his question she beamed with pride. "Well, since the last time we spoke I did try a couple of herds... but I and they didn't feel right. The personalities were not what I expected, and I actually realized I did not belong." She paused, while nodding with delight. "Not belonging isn't meant to be a negative, I just think this worked out better. Now I'm on to finding my next quest.. and that led me here."
He always had good advice. "What do you think I should do? I trust and value you opinion, which is part of the reason I came this way today." She wondered if she was nagging him at this point. "I'd like to hear about any upcoming quests you might have... to get some inspiration." Perhaps that was what she truly was looking for, and the stallion was always giving her exciting things to think about.
"Should we plan an adventure somewhere? Or set goals that each of us have to meet?" Without realizing she starting bouncing with excitement. "There must be something you haven't seen or done before?" Or was this becoming a challenge? It was all too much fun to think about.
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Posted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:48 pm
A small part of him was disappointed that Neo had been unable to find a herd to accept her; she'd been so focused when they had last met, and so very determined to find her place within a surrogate 'family' of sorts. He wasn't accustomed to the concern that his mind expressed at the revelation that she had found many, yet none had suited. While he was satisfied with a life of solitude, one occasionally interrupted by meddling friends and this somewhat wayward mare, he wasn't entirely sure that one so bubbly, warm and lovely could be the same.
After all, she was bouncing around him like an excitable pup and he was by far the most boring individual he knew! Or rather, he was boring in comparison to others, with his past rarely discussed he seemed like nothing more than a floating entity on a lake. A novelty for a short time, but largely uninteresting in the long term - a tourist attraction perhaps?
"I see," he replied, ensuring that silence didn't fall for too long, lest she express some form of concern at this. "I am glad that you have come to realise that there is nothing wrong with being on your own when you feel you need such space," he added. He refrained from mentioning that 'belonging' was still a necessary part of life, one that gave meaning and purpose, if only to avoid confusion.
Would she understand it? She seemed intelligent enough to pick up on what he had said previously; but he had no real desire to instil doubts in a mare who had taken such dramatic step towards independence!
However, her queries regarding his own adventures and quests gave him reason to pause and he looked at her with amusement. He was fairly certain that the last time they had encountered one another, he had stipulated that he rarely left this place. Ah, but to be inside another's head to understand their thought processes, suffice it to say that he was beginning to think he lived a far more exciting life in her mind than he did in his own...perhaps he was missing something; you know, one of those moments when he was utterly oblivious to the norm.
"I think that you should do whatever you feel inclined towards, pursue whatever piques your interest, intrigues you, or leaves you seeking more," he said at last and schooled his expression into one that was more calm and less surprised. "I have no quests of my own save that of enlightenment," he pointed out, gently reminding her of why she had met him to begin with.
"Though..." he paused and shook his head, she had clearly grasped on to something at some point and he had missed it. What was this about goals again, had he agreed to something already?
His memory couldn't have been that bad!
"What goals did you have in mind?" he asked, opting for the easiest way out as his mind attempted to recount exactly what had happened in the last three minutes or so. "And there are many things I have not done, I know few who could say otherwise, Neo."
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Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 8:09 pm
Perhaps Neo was content in a way she had never felt possible before. Joining a herd was not necessarily out of the question forever, but at the moment she found something wrong with staying with a group of Soquili that didn't accept her for everything she was. She wanted to find others she instantly connected with and felt a sense of purpose with. She dreamed of a group who loved her and cherished her with all of her quirks. At this point in her life, she was proud of her quirks! So why change for others?
All and all, the concept of a herd might have been something close to a fantasy, but at least it was one that kept her looking ahead instead of backwards. In her heart she also knew she was much more confident in herself then before. That was an achievement she never thought possible until she put herself in front of other Soquili.
"Hmmmmmm" she buzzed, while jumping up and down excitedly. "I'll admit, I don't have anything immediate in mind. But I think its time for some kind of adventure, or a competition. Life is too short. We need some excitement don't you think? We both should be challenged more, get out of our comfort zones, all that good stuff!" She, of course, was including him in all of her own internal and 'logical' thoughts.
She pondered quietly then. "There isn't anything you ever wanted to do? I guess I bring it up not only in hopes we can plan something, but I was curious. You are still are kind of mysterious." She paused, and stuck her tongue out with a silly expression. "If I keep unraveling who you are I feel as though I will understand the world better!" That almost seemed like the biggest challenge in itself!
"I on the other hand, am much too obvious, aren't I?" For shame. That didn't leave him with a fun game in return.
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Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:28 am
Obvious? Definitely not, and it should have come at no surprise that the stallion peered at Neo as if she had grown an additional head at the remark. The concept that she was easily understood and that he could read her with significant ease was largely incorrect. Suffice it to say that the mare was extraordinarily good at leaving him lost and confused - or rather, completely and utterly baffled. He had often been accused of speaking in riddles, but he had to say that he disagreed with that...at least when faced with the puzzle of the mare before him.
"You are far from obvious," he uttered at last, a wry smile on his lips. However he did shake his head at the manner in which she implied he held the answer to life's questions - she was no doubt exaggerating, but the concept did amuse him!
"And I am not as complex as you assume," he added after a moment of thought. Still, he did cast his mind back to whatever goals and challenges he may have wanted to pursue. If he was entirely honest, he had achieved what he wanted to for the time being, freedom was a fairly large step for an individual to take. "Though if you have questions, you are more than welcome to ask them," he pointed out with a raised brow.
"Though I must confess that in light of my freedom, I have yet to find another challenge beyond the pursuit of enlightenment. Perhaps something will appear in time, if I am meant to have further challenges that is..."
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Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 8:47 pm
She was completely surprised at his comment. How was she far from obvious? To her she was so obvious it was probably scary. Sometimes she wondered if she and Niko spoke different languages. "Well I guess we can agree to disagree. I've heard people use that phrase and I've always wanted to use it!" She giggled lightly.
At his comment on complexity, she continued to giggle again. "Yes you are. Again I wonder if I should agree to disagree... How is it that I am not obvious and you are not complex? I still believe there is more to you then you may even say. I wonder how can I help unravel?" She gave a mischievous grin. "Although I believe you bring up the best point... asking questions is probably the first way!" She paused lightly while looking upwards as if the sky could help her muster the right speech or give her inspiration.
"What is your favorite food? Who are your closest companions? Do you have family? What is your favorite season?" That was a good start, wasn't it?
"And also... aren't you already enlightened? Or are you trying to be mega-enlightened?" The questions continued to pour out with usual Neo communication chaos. He was a saint for not abandoning her at this stage of their conversation.
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 10:35 am
It was time for twenty questions!
He had brought this on himself and a warm smile crept on to his lips as he regarded the mare; he was particularly amused by her choice of questions. Forget the specific, grittier questions, she was after something more artsy and friendly. Granted he may be doomed to disappoint in regards to some of his response, but they were all reasonably easy answers in his books and none of them seemed to require 'dodging'... admittedly he had promised to be honest, so nothing would end up as dodge-able anyway.
"I've always been partial to seaweed and I enjoy winter in particular," he began - it was here that he paused momentarily to consider the next two questions. He supposed he had a family though he knew little of them any more, nor was he aware if they were still alive. He had been born from a mare and that by default mean he had one!
"I no doubt have a family, I was born to a mother after all, though I have no idea if they remain alive," he offered at last and shrugged his shoulders. "And I suppose that my closest companion would be Shizukii, she is the one who provided me with counsel when I finally became aware of what I was," he remarked and shrugged his shoulders.
"As to the enlightened state; I am in pursuit of it, I still have much to learn..."
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Posted: Sat May 10, 2014 6:34 am
She marveled at how much he had answered. It may have been the most he had opened up, or at least for her goofy standards. In her defense she had never gotten as deep as others may have within their truths or tales, and even emotions. Her upbringing was point blank questions as she had asked him, and these questions were -if all silly- items she wished to know about him. All she could think in this moment was Success!
"Maybe we can try and find your family one day? I'd be more then happy to help." That was of course her assuming he may want to, but her offer was sincere. When he mentioned Shizukii she herself was a bit taken aback, only because she was happy to hear he hadn't always have to be alone. Perhaps he did have someone to confide in from time to time? She had hoped so for his sake.
"I have a feeling you will reach your mega-enlightened state. I don't think I've ever met someone as focused as you." The both of them may have been at opposite ends of the spectrum, but that made Neo at least understand what true focus was compared to her mental 'excitement'.
She shuffled lightly with her hooves while looking down gently. "Thank you.. by the way. I know I am a lot to be around, and you answered all of my questions with complete kindness. I am excited that I have some tidbits that I now know about you."
Her biggest lingering question was should she keep asking for more? She didn't want to exhaust him. "Do you have any questions for me?"
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:00 pm
A chance to see his family again? Somehow he doubted that they would be receptive to him - his sudden change of 'heart', his sense of self awareness, the rebirth of his moral core. He had transformed into something that had ultimately forsaken his homeland and to them, brought them to ruin. Admittedly, he found it highly unlikely that their world would end, or that they might be at war, but if they were to come face to face with him, all allusions of what he should have been would be shattered.
He wasn't a war dog any more, he was no beast to throw into the ring for sport...or 'tradition' as they might call it. Such a fanciful set of ideals, such a warped mythos.
"I suspect it might be for the best that the whereabouts of my family remain unknown," he offered delicately and hazarded a small smile. She didn't need to know exactly what he was, to be honest, he got the impression she simply didn't care. Her view on life was significantly more black and white than his and for that, he felt a small amount of envy. Sometimes he would have liked to have a 'simple' view on life, it would have been far less of a headache!
"Or perhaps I should say that while it would not be ideal for me to see them, I would have no issue with directing you to where they might reside. They are from a fascinating culture to say the least," he added, sounding much more diplomatic than he actually felt! Nevertheless, he soon shook his head, and then shook it again for a second time at her remarks regarding herself - why was it that she did that...?
"I do have a question, actually," he said, much to his own surprise. "Why do you do that," he lifted a hoof and pointed to her. "You belittle yourself and I don't understand why."
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