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 Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 8:45 pm
He released his grip slowly from the hem of her shirt, assured she was staying put - for now. The idea of a argument now was unpleasant and he didn't feel as if he'd be prepared to talk back, which meant she'd leave, and that was even worse.
Instead, he just looked at her, looked down at her pj bottoms decorated with little birds, then at the freshly cleaned bedspread, and towards the headboard. If their bed was bigger, he might have been given more space, but this close, he couldn't even be given too much room to hide.
"I've been tired. Just....a lot of stuff has gone on....has been going on. I'm just......taking it in. Best I can. Okay? I can't....I can't deal....with a lot. So I'm just working on thinking on other things that don't feel.......like much. Too much." He didn't want to look at her and admit that part of 'too much' was some of the things he did with her.
"I'm just tired." And he needed time - right? He was sure he could...get over it maybe. If things stayed quiet. If he was allowed to just...focus on other things.
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Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 8:50 pm
"Melvin, I know something is wrong. It's been different ever since Caelius threw his tantrum and tried to get us all killed." She sighed and reached out to try and pinch his side with her toes. "It won't get any better until you admit there's a problem in the first place, okay."
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Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 9:06 pm
He frowned, concerned, and leaned back against his pillow, sinking a bit further down, half laying and half sitting, as if deflating by the very idea of admitting anything. It wasn't a prospect he enjoyed, and he liked it even less when Rin took on some odd roll to be his shrink, but saying she was acting like one would make her leave the room.
He had to keep her here.
"You're not really sexy when you act like this." He told her, delaying the conversation.
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Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 9:14 pm
"I'm not intending to be sexy," she grunted and finally rolled into his side and leaned against him. "I care about you. A lot. You'd be acting the same way if I was acting as odd as you are. I'm worried. I know something is wrong and you are hiding it and I just. You don't need to hide anymore." She pressed. "Not from me."
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Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 9:57 pm
He set a hand upon her head, feeling the soft, bristled hair of her unwanted, unpredicted hairstyle. It was nice to the touch, despite not wanting anyone else to touch his own hair, and it brought about that same sort of ease when petting a cat. He missed Pepper, his parents elderly cat.
Since he had no better way to say it, he could only articulate it in one way. "It feels like they're still in me." He whispered.
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 3:22 am
Rin grumbled irritably. She already had told him not to touch her hair because of how weird it felt, but.... well, she let him away with it anyway. He was not well and he was finally opening up to her. It was a fight not worth starting.
Rin's gaze fell at what he had to say. She was sure she knew what he meant, but she had to be certain first. "Who is inside you?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 7:38 am
He pressed his lips thin, hoping that Rin would have just know. "Those bugs." Even saying it made him swallow hard to bring down a heavy taste if stomach acid as his throat tried to lurch at the idea and the memory.
"I can feel em under my skin. Inside my stomach. Against my throat." He took another deep breath. "I think they must have missed one."
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 8:47 am
"Is there any possibilty that it is just in your head?" Rin wasn't happy to find that apparently Melvin remembered. She hoped he wouldn't... but clearly hope was all that had been achieved.
"I mean... you went through something pretty traumatic. It could be like... just repeating that trauma in your mind?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 9:31 am
He continued to stare up at the ceiling, searching the blank tiles for a answer. "I'm not sure anymore. I keep checking, and find nothing, but I still feel it there. It's like when I saw the millipede about my neck when I was a kid. No body saw it but me, and it would burrow in my neck." His expression cringed at the painful memory - his introduction to the hell world he would never escape from. To see something staring right at you, to be terrified, and no one else seeing it no matter how much you begged for help. It got to the point, after all the accusations of being crazy or acting out for attention, that you just stopped asking for the help - because you would never get it. That there was nothing they could do.
"Tell me... What happened in the desert." He turned to look at her.
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 3:54 pm
Rin reached out to very very gently try to ease Melvin's head to rest against her chest. "Melvin, it...," Rin sighed exhaustedly. "Do you really need me to remind you of what happened? It's over."
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 4:37 pm
if it was one thing he couldn't do, no matter how much it would hurt, it was to just go without knowing. He listed to Rin's heart a moment before he continued. "I can't remember it. One moment I was sinking and the next I was throwing up those..." He took another breath as he felt that phantom turn of something against the back if his throat. "I don't like not knowing."
He looked up. "Tell me."
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 5:14 pm
Rin frowned deeply at him before gently and carefully caressing the curled wisps of gold at the nape of his neck. "You might not like not knowing... but, please Melvin. Don't make me. It would kill me."
She curled around him, protective despite his best efforts. "We made it back, that's what matters."
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 6:26 pm
He sighed and let it go for now. He might ask someone else or maybe he would preserve his fragile sanity by dropping it. "That bad, huh?" He let he play with his hair. "Okay."
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 6:55 pm
Rin slowly bobbed her head, "I'm sorry Melvin." she suddenly buried her nose in the top of his head. "You're not crazy either. Just so you know. I think you are just... so affected, you can't stop thinking about it in detail. It's making it hard for you to see the present. That you are okay now though. I just... I just wish I could help you see that."
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Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 8:37 pm
He breathed out, not wanting her to feel this way. "It's not your responsibility to do something about this. I never want you to think that. That you can fix this. If years of talking with professionals and medication doesn't fix it, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself to think you can." He breathed out, before looking up.
"You have your own stuff to deal with besides me." She had been there, and probably was affected to. She just didn't take things the same way he did.
He moved to sit up, off Rin's shoulder. She was comforting, but he still felt uncomfortable. That same phantom feeling was there, and it only made him worried when he was next to Rin.
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