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 Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 5:54 pm
"Mmm, I am happy I've had her friendship for so long. It's meant a lot..." More than that really. Had he not been friends with Lily he'd have had no friends - not a single one. She was all he'd had and all he'd wanted honestly. He'd never let anyone else befriend him as a child and even into his teenage years, Lily and her family was enough for him. It was shortly before joining the Negaverse that he'd started to open up some; he'd opened up and made more friends after taking on the night job of Negaverse officer. Another positive thing of joining the Negaverse - friends.
Listening as Paris spoke on virginity, an odd conversation for the blond to be having, he felt himself nodding even as he questioned himself a bit. Had he ever placed a value on his own? He had thought it wrong to simply sleep around, thought by doing so he'd be something of a tart, but he hadn't thought that of himself. There was no...new way of viewing himself or anything. He'd been reluctant, cold even, toward the idea and that had changed. Had there been some unnamed, unnoticed, value he'd placed upon something which had no real substance? It seemed like he might have. "Some would say five or six years is a lot of time - so many things about a person can change in that much time." How much had changed in his own life during that time?
Looking up from where he was grabbing a few more candles, it looked like he'd be buying a lot today, he stared at the other. "I think we all think we have everything figured out, only to realize we don't. I think it's what makes up our life - something we deal with throughout our lives. We chase perfect, almost have it, and our definition of it changes and the chase begins again. The same can be said for thinking we have it all figured out. We think we've got everything we want, think we know where we're going with our lives, and then it all changed somehow. Sometimes things are really shaken up and other times not so much. I can say the same for my life - I'm sure everyone can." He spoke thoughtfully and with a certain amount of certainty. It would make sense though, if you thought about it, as thy all aged opinions and thoughts, knowledge also, changed and accumulated and so other things changed and were altered.
"Indeed, and although it's still a new, and odd, topic for me to discuss. I must admit that I'm not the most in touch with certain aspects of intimacy. It's still something I am working on so talking is, in general, a bigger thing for me." Finally he figured he had enough candles, a very full basket hung from his left arm, and it really was a heavy basket.
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Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 9:48 am
“You're probably right,” Paris said, carefully thinking over Alex's comments as they pertained to figuring one's life out.
Years ago, in her early adolescence, she'd thought she'd had everything figured out. She hadn't needed her mother, she hadn't needed her father, she hadn't even really needed friends; all she'd needed was herself, her dancing, and a few people around to keep her amused when she wasn't otherwise occupied. Then the war happened. Or, rather, then she discovered the war and learned she had a place in it, and things had changed. Then she'd needed support; she'd rediscovered the value in having a family; she'd learned to rely on people and realized how much of a benefit friends could actually bring to one's life.
Then Chris came, and the war worsened, and her father died, and everything that she'd previously thought wasn't meant for her suddenly became far more important than it'd ever been before. Now she was more conscious of the passage of time, and all the things that could happen to disrupt the bit of happiness she'd managed to find in life. Now it mattered to her to hold onto it, to encourage its growth, to reach for those things she'd never thought would ever be hers.
And she was okay with those changes; she was comfortable with them, because at her core she was still the same person she'd always been, she'd just learned to open up and not deny herself what she wanted and needed out of life.
“I used to put a lot more value in physical intimacy than emotional intimacy,” she admitted, “but now I think I've found more of a balance between the two. It works for me, whether or not it works for anyone else, and I think that's the most important thing. Do what works for you. If it changes, it changes. If it doesn't, no big deal. As long as you're happy.”
And that was, in essence, the most important thing to Paris these days—happiness.
With her hands full of the candles of her choosing, Paris glanced over Alex's collection and smiled bemusedly.
“You think we should check out before we buy out the whole store?” she joked.
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Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 1:58 am
Unknowingly Alexandre had suffered some of the same changes as Paris, and for a very similar reason - war. War changed a lot, and not just on a personal level. Just look at the city they lived in and all it was going through and the uninvolved people, at least they were mostly uninvolved. It was far reaching. But on a personal level he'd learned to make friends and work with them, he'd also learned to hold his tongue at times. He'd had to learn certain disciplines he'd never had, or at least never displayed, before and to work with others to attain a goal. he couldn't work alone all the time, like he'd always tried to do in school on projects. it was, perhaps, in some ways preparing him for an adult life.
He might not like everyone he worked with but he still needed to do so, and to do so with an even temper at least. But he'd learned to reach for things he wanted, to weigh out things, and sacrifice some lesser things to gain the bigger things he wanted. He was growing and maturing as time went on and trying to please himself in life more. He was working on atonement for what he'd done to Bazzite, to live with himself for it, and mostly it worked and was working. It was hard, at times, to discuss him or think of him, but he liked to think that he was healed up from it for the most part - that the wound was a scar and nothing more.
If only he could find that balance he wanted in a relationship; something which Paris seemed to have gotten a grasp on. If he could do that he'd be set, at least for the most part. He could live with the friends he had and his family, even if his aunts, uncles and cousins drove him nuts, and the Negaverse. He could handle it all if he had something at home like a well balanced, somewhat stable, relationship. He could vent out his anger, frustrations, and everything else. The problem was that they needed, at this point he was almost certain of it, to be a Negaverse office also. It would make so many things easier and more comfortable.
And all these changes, new wants, new definitions of things, in two almost three years time. So many things had changed and been turned inside out and upside down. He hadn't, for a while, made sense of it all but the picture was clearing and the lines becoming less blurred as he sorted out what he wanted from what he had and what he was willing to sacrifice, or adjust, in order to gain various things.
Sighing as his thoughts went down these deeper, darker, paths he blinked as Paris spoke and he nodded his head. "I put too much value into emotional. I wanted all the emotional before the other. I was worried...about a reputation that wouldn't be affected as no one would know of anything, at least not anything private. I let worries and a need to look down on others rule so much. I think I might have an idea of a balance in mind but but putting it into practice is the issue." Meaning he was single - again. It wasn't a bad thing, being single or not single was neither a good nor a bad thing it simply was, but he felt a bit of guilt over it. Oh well, something to work out in time.
"Mmm, I think so. Otherwise if we stayed I could very well buy out the whole store - easily. I think if I got a job in such a place my mother would worry I would indeed do just that." He said laughter coating his every work. it was true though, he could buy out the store if he really wanted.
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 6:50 am
“Sometimes one does come before the other,” Paris said.
It had for her, albeit in a much different way than she'd expected. With others it was the physical that had come first; she'd cut things off and gone her own way the second it seemed as if any sort of emotional attachment was in the making. That hadn't been what she'd wanted at the time, and in a lot of ways, though she'd been lonely, she was glad now that she hadn't allowed anything to develop with those people. It could have made a great many things different. She might not be where she was now, with a good family and a stable life, and Chris.
With Chris the opposite had happened. She'd taken it slow—which hadn't necessarily been by her own choice, and she certainly hadn't meant for it to be that way when she'd first agreed to meet him for lunch, but somewhere during the childish prank she'd intended to pull the emotions came into it. During their first kiss on the boat, perhaps. Or at summer camp, when she learned that Chris was part of the war, too. Maybe in the conversation they'd had after, and the subsequent time they'd spent together in their powered forms.
Whenever it had occurred, by the time she'd realized it she became aware of the value of it, and she knew at that moment what it had come to mean to her. By the time the emotional blended into the physical she was entirely lost, and she was all too aware that there wasn't any turning back.
She was glad for it now, as frightening as it'd been at the time.
“You'll figure it out,” she said with confidence. “Trust me. It might seem difficult or hopeless, or you might sometimes think 'well, this isn't for me,' or 'it'll never happen, or 'it's too good to be true,' and maybe that might be true for a while, but eventually you'll get to the point where you just sort of... know. It doesn't happen when you plan for it, and it might take you by surprise when you actually find it, but you'll know when you do, and then you'll probably laugh at yourself and think about how silly you were and wonder why it took you so long to figure it out, but that's okay. It'll be worth it when you do.”
Paris smiled brightly as she approached the check-out counter with her many chosen candles at hand, motioning for Alex to follow. She set them down, waited patiently while they were scanned, and handed over her credit card to make the payment, collecting her bags once she was done and stepping to the side to wait patiently for Alex.
“Come on,” she said once he was done, too. “There's still plenty of mall left to buy out.”Sleet Tempest Snape I think we can probably wrap it with your next post, unless you'd like to call it done now! :3
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:23 pm
Indeed, there was no set way for such things to happen; even if the movies tended to follow the same set paths time and again. Perhaps it was how unreal, and terribly sappy, movies made relationships out to be that drove him nuts and caused a dislike for romance movies, at least most of them. There were too many scenes in such movies where he wanted to mute the movie, turn it off, or just skip the scene. Too many cliches and he was sure the things they showed weren't that common; but how would he know? There were so many people and so many relationships.
Could, would, he ever actually find the right person? He'd admit, if asked, to being jealous of some couples that had what he wanted. He might have changed, a lot, but he was still an honest person who really was no good with telling lies. That was something he doubted would ever change; he'd just gotten good at omitting things and wording things in different ways. He hoped he'd find someone, something, to come back to after school and work. Someone to go out with at night to hunt down energy. He wanted, and maybe needed, such in his life. Which would come first though? Physical...emotional? He honestly didn't have a clue. But would he even know it when it happened? Would he throw something away before he realized it? For a moment he wondered if he'd had it and already tossed it away but he was sure it wasn't. Quenton just wasn't an officer, not that he had seen in files, and he was sure he needed that now.
Shaking the thoughts away, as they started down depressing and even hopeless paths, he nodded his head to the others words. "Yeah. My mother wouldn't be pleased if I bought out the whole stor.e" Laughing he followed Parid up to the line and once Paris was rung up he put all his purchases up onto the counter and paid, via credit card, and took the offered double bagged purchases.
"Mmm, and we have a lot of people to shop for." (I think we can end here. ^__^)
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