As much as it would have dealt the Negaverse a kneecapping blow to have one of their Generals exposed, Metalia probably would do something horrible to him long before the most bloodthirsty members of the Order side could, and that was arguably worse.
Her hands were shaking, which surprised him. It barely registered at this point that it was actually possible for other people to be that emotionally invested in him. He'd driven so many people away and curled up in a dark place from which he could glare and spit hate. She was one of the few people he'd let in, and it was still... odd. Almost alien, but...
He put his hands on hers, letting her take uncomfortable handfuls of uniform, because it clearly mattered more that she feel grounded than he worry about a brief red welt from twisted leathers.
"Sappy story." He warned. "I wanted to be a professional racer." He couldn't remember if he'd told her or not.
"Years before I got into any of this. Wanted it like breathing. Then I had a crash, and I let being scared of it happening again take everything away from me. And what it didn't take, I made go away, so I wouldn't have to deal with it. No risks, therefore, no hurting... or that was the idea."
He squeezed her hands gently, trying to be reassuring. Not even sure if he was doing it right or if he'd lost the ability to do that. Let kindness toward other actual people atrophy like a useless limb.
"I'd be lying like a fool if I didn't say this was probably going to be dangerous. Maybe dangerous for the rest of my life, but it's already dangerous. This is just a risk I'm choosing to take to maybe get back some control over my life. If I'm going to be caught up in this war... Hell. Zinkenite told me to convert or bite it when I got recruited. I say ******** it. He had plenty of chances to call a hit on the other soldier who corrupted, instead of falling over himself to get her back. I say call his bluff. He may be a General King, but he's a General King who's reach is a whole lot shorter than he likes to pretend."
He offered her a half smile, ducking his head slightly to try and catch her averted eyes, share the small joke about a terrifying agent of chaos and his amusingly diminutive size.
"I mean damn, talk about compensation issues."
Carneli
