Worth a read : Genderless Baby

[AmeliaParadox]

you know what I kinda do hate though, people with trans children going to the media. that child has a chance at a normal life, and they put them out there for everyone to see, then everyone at school knows, then it ends up defining the child and they never actually get to have that normal life.

they say they are trying to "help" raise awareness, really I think they just get offered money by tabloids and talk shows. because if they had common sense its the last thing they would wanna do.

I would hate my parents if they did that once I grew up and had more understanding.  

[Sea Thrift]

AmeliaParadox

you know what I kinda do hate though, people with trans children going to the media. that child has a chance at a normal life, and they put them out there for everyone to see, then everyone at school knows, then it ends up defining the child and they never actually get to have that normal life.

they say they are trying to "help" raise awareness, really I think they just get offered money by tabloids and talk shows. because if they had common sense its the last thing they would wanna do.

I would hate my parents if they did that once I grew up and had more understanding.

Hm, I see what you're saying. Was it necessary for Storm's parents to tell their story to the media? Honestly, I think they should've declined. I think it was enough for them to have told their friends and family about their decision.

Perhaps the discussion could be more positive if it hadn't manifested from Storm's story, or any child's story.

But is Storm really trans? Did he transition from one gender to another, binary or non? From what I understand, that's not how it happened. Storm is cisgender--granted, of his own accord through his parents letting him be whatever he wanted, but he wasn't coerced to be anything before that.  

[AmeliaParadox]

Sea Thrift

AmeliaParadox

you know what I kinda do hate though, people with trans children going to the media. that child has a chance at a normal life, and they put them out there for everyone to see, then everyone at school knows, then it ends up defining the child and they never actually get to have that normal life.

they say they are trying to "help" raise awareness, really I think they just get offered money by tabloids and talk shows. because if they had common sense its the last thing they would wanna do.

I would hate my parents if they did that once I grew up and had more understanding.

Hm, I see what you're saying. Was it necessary for Storm's parents to tell their story to the media? Honestly, I think they should've declined. I think it was enough for them to have told their friends and family about their decision.

Perhaps the discussion could be more positive if it hadn't manifested from Storm's story, or any child's story.

But is Storm really trans? Did he transition from one gender to another, binary or non? From what I understand, that's not how it happened. Storm is cisgender--granted, of his own accord through his parents letting him be whatever he wanted, but he wasn't coerced to be anything before that.

I just kinda see it like, its 2013, people know their options, and things are pretty different. when he gets older he might have issues because he didn't get to have a normal male childhood, more likely than not people end up happy with their gender, if he showed signs of being trans at 3 or 6 or 9 even, they still have until 12-13 to "fix" the problem. even then, the age thing isn't important, as I know people who started young and don't pass and people who started at 40 that look completely normal.

could just end up hating himself "My mother wished she had a girl" males have enough trouble feeling inadequate in this day and age, I think it was a really bad move in general.

parents should just play it by ear, and be accepting if it happens. but otherwise try to bring the child up like every other one - being made to feel different sucks.  

[Sea Thrift]

AmeliaParadox

Sea Thrift

AmeliaParadox

you know what I kinda do hate though, people with trans children going to the media. that child has a chance at a normal life, and they put them out there for everyone to see, then everyone at school knows, then it ends up defining the child and they never actually get to have that normal life.

they say they are trying to "help" raise awareness, really I think they just get offered money by tabloids and talk shows. because if they had common sense its the last thing they would wanna do.

I would hate my parents if they did that once I grew up and had more understanding.

Hm, I see what you're saying. Was it necessary for Storm's parents to tell their story to the media? Honestly, I think they should've declined. I think it was enough for them to have told their friends and family about their decision.

Perhaps the discussion could be more positive if it hadn't manifested from Storm's story, or any child's story.

But is Storm really trans? Did he transition from one gender to another, binary or non? From what I understand, that's not how it happened. Storm is cisgender--granted, of his own accord through his parents letting him be whatever he wanted, but he wasn't coerced to be anything before that.

I just kinda see it like, its 2013, people know their options, and things are pretty different. when he gets older he might have issues because he didn't get to have a normal male childhood, more likely than not people end up happy with their gender, if he showed signs of being trans at 3 or 6 or 9 even, they still have until 12-13 to "fix" the problem. even then, the age thing isn't important, as I know people who started young and don't pass and people who started at 40 that look completely normal.

could just end up hating himself "My mother wished she had a girl" males have enough trouble feeling inadequate in this day and age, I think it was a really bad move in general.

parents should just play it by ear, and be accepting if it happens. but otherwise try to bring the child up like every other one - being made to feel different sucks.

I understand what you're saying, and perhaps you're right--perhaps if Storm had just been brought up as a boy from the start, rather than been given the choice to be whatever, he would've had a normal childhood like everyone else, and would've been immediately accepted.

But maybe he will be all right with his childhood as he gets older. Maybe he'll find a place in the world that will continue to support the lifestyle he lives in, and he'll grow confident in his upbringing. It happens, and I hope that'll happen for him and his siblings. I hope things for him will be different.

I had what most people call a normal childhood, but it really did me no favors. In fact, it just made things worse now that I've finally discovered some of the biggest parts of who I am. Things I never revealed as a child because of fear; feelings and thoughts that I knew I could never tell because something in my gut told me they weren't "normal." I hid my gender and orientation for many years, because of confusion, fear, shame, erasure, and resentment. If I had parents at least similar to Storm's, I think my childhood would've been much different, happier, and freer. Yes, there will always be people who don't understand, but should we sacrifice certain freedoms and good life principles because outsiders don't like them? Should we force our children to conform despite knowing what may be better for them in the long run? Do we really, really know what is best for the children of this new generation?

It's truly unfortunate that our society causes us to ask these questions. The situation is much more complicated than just throwing out simple answers. There are so many factors to consider.  

[AmeliaParadox]

Sea Thrift

I understand what you're saying, and perhaps you're right--perhaps if Storm had just been brought up as a boy from the start, rather than been given the choice to be whatever, he would've had a normal childhood like everyone else, and would've been immediately accepted.

But maybe he will be all right with his childhood as he gets older. Maybe he'll find a place in the world that will continue to support the lifestyle he lives in, and he'll grow confident in his upbringing. It happens, and I hope that'll happen for him and his siblings. I hope things for him will be different.

I had what most people call a normal childhood, but it really did me no favors. In fact, it just made things worse now that I've finally discovered some of the biggest parts of who I am. Things I never revealed as a child because of fear; feelings and thoughts that I knew I could never tell because something in my gut told me they weren't "normal." I hid my gender and orientation for many years, because of confusion, fear, shame, erasure, and resentment. If I had parents at least similar to Storm's, I think my childhood would've been much different, happier, and freer. Yes, there will always be people who don't understand, but should we sacrifice certain freedoms and good life principles because outsiders don't like them? Should we force our children to conform despite knowing what may be better for them in the long run? Do we really, really know what is best for the children of this new generation?

It's truly unfortunate that our society causes us to ask these questions. The situation is much more complicated than just throwing out simple answers. There are so many factors to consider.

one thing though, having the wrong childhood hurt us as children, who's to say being raised as both or the wrong gender wouldn't hurt a cis child?

we have that thought process drilled into us because we are trans.

ask people who are not trans what they think.  

[Sea Thrift]

AmeliaParadox

one thing though, having the wrong childhood hurt us as children, who's to say being raised as both or the wrong gender wouldn't hurt a cis child?

we have that thought process drilled into us because we are trans.

ask people who are not trans what they think.

Too true, too true. Like I said, I think the situation is very complicated. There's more than likely no ideal childhood that would benefit both cis and trans children, because after all--parents are only human. They can't know every thing that a child is exactly going through inside. Parents can only hope to make the right choices. No parent can prepare for the arrival of a trans or nonbinary child. Except for a cis child, because that's all Western society knows how to prepare for. After all, "gender" reveal is sometimes the best part of some couples' pregnancy. Should they paint the nursery blue, or pink, or some other gender appropriate color according to the sex of their unborn baby, you know?

I'm sure for many cis people, my childhood sounds just fine, despite whatever other bad experiences I had during that time. But as a genderqueer, it wasn't good for me. If only parents can be telepathic, lol. If only this society can be more empathetic.  

[AmeliaParadox]

Sea Thrift

AmeliaParadox

one thing though, having the wrong childhood hurt us as children, who's to say being raised as both or the wrong gender wouldn't hurt a cis child?

we have that thought process drilled into us because we are trans.

ask people who are not trans what they think.

Too true, too true. Like I said, I think the situation is very complicated. There's more than likely no ideal childhood that would benefit both cis and trans children, because after all--parents are only human. They can't know every thing that a child is exactly going through inside. Parents can only hope to make the right choices. No parent can prepare for the arrival of a trans or nonbinary child. Except for a cis child, because that's all Western society knows how to prepare for. After all, "gender" reveal is sometimes the best part of some couples' pregnancy. Should they paint the nursery blue, or pink, or some other gender appropriate color according to the sex of their unborn baby, you know?

I'm sure for many cis people, my childhood sounds just fine, despite whatever other bad experiences I had during that time. But as a genderqueer, it wasn't good for me. If only parents can be telepathic, lol. If only this society can be more empathetic.

I guess as a parent you could always let the children know they can talk about anything they want or feel. current generation is much better.

painting the room a colour is an 80s/90s thing, generally people just keep it matching the rest of the house, here anyway.
my sister got a yellow room, and mine was aqua. so yeah, even back then, wasn't entirely "traditional"
just need a good talking relationship with the children, our parents parents were very "IM THE ADULT YOU ARE THE CHILD SO DO WHAT I SAY" *WACK WACK* so that rubbed off on them, they were better, but not as good as parents are now.

Kinda just like, let them grow up, be with other kids and that, just let them do their sport of choice and play with what ever toys. give them the choice when they ask for it.

most toddler stuff is unisex, stuffed animals and rainbow stuff like duplo and puzzles.

plus kids have internet access now at a really young age, so do the parents. I got it at 12, looked up trans stuff could barely find anything useful, now there is lots of resources. I think the future looks much better. I think parents need to be more private about it if it does happen though.

Biggest worry you gotta have, if the kid thinks "Well I can be trans if I want to be, should I? shouldn't I?" growing up is confusing enough. also a bunch of kids do actually grow out of it.


its hard to picture feeling normal about your gender and childhood when you grew up not feeling normal about it. seriously though, most people do feel happy about what they have. we are like 0.001% (or whatever)  

[Sea Thrift]

AmeliaParadox

I guess as a parent you could always let the children know they can talk about anything they want or feel. current generation is much better.

painting the room a colour is an 80s/90s thing, generally people just keep it matching the rest of the house, here anyway.
my sister got a yellow room, and mine was aqua. so yeah, even back then, wasn't entirely "traditional"
just need a good talking relationship with the children, our parents parents were very "IM THE ADULT YOU ARE THE CHILD SO DO WHAT I SAY" *WACK WACK* so that rubbed off on them, they were better, but not as good as parents are now.

Kinda just like, let them grow up, be with other kids and that, just let them do their sport of choice and play with what ever toys. give them the choice when they ask for it.

most toddler stuff is unisex, stuffed animals and rainbow stuff like duplo and puzzles.

plus kids have internet access now at a really young age, so do the parents. I got it at 12, looked up trans stuff could barely find anything useful, now there is lots of resources. I think the future looks much better. I think parents need to be more private about it if it does happen though.

Biggest worry you gotta have, if the kid thinks "Well I can be trans if I want to be, should I? shouldn't I?" growing up is confusing enough. also a bunch of kids do actually grow out of it.


its hard to picture feeling normal about your gender and childhood when you grew up not feeling normal about it. seriously though, most people do feel happy about what they have. we are like 0.001% (or whatever)

There are lots of gender reveal videos on YouTube. I remember seeing one couple that got the sex of their baby during an ultrasound and had the nurse write the sex down on a piece of paper then place the paper in an envelope, hiding it from the parents. Then, the parents went to Home Depot and gave the envelope to the employee at the paint counter; the employee would look at the paper and make up a little cup of sample paint--either pink or blue--according to the gender reveal. The parents went home and then opened the cup. It's a girl! They painted the nursery according to the gender reveal.

When I grew up, my parents always encouraged me to have my room especially girly. Flowers, Barbie stuff, Lisa Frank (which I actually still love to death), it was everywhere. When I showed interest in boyish things, it was chuckled at and dismissed. All the kids I closely associated with in my childhood experienced around the same conformity from what I remember. But it's getting better. Slowly but surely.

We are such a small percentage. I don't remember the exact percent myself, though.