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 Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 10:59 am
There were some fears she possessed that seemed valid. He'd often contemplated some of the other senshi's willingness to kill others. But even with his anger issues and his lust for fighting, he'd never sunk so low. And he didn't plan on doing so anytime soon.
With a sigh, he stood and walked across the room, moving to sink into the seat next to her.
"I'm fighting for myself," he said after a while. "Because I do like it. Ares might have made us, but she doesn't own us. Whatever goals she had? I'm not sure if I care. She's not around. And she hasn't been for a while. And I don't really miss her. I didn't know her that well. She gave us a power—a unique power that makes us better than other people. I'm not her. I never was, and I never will be. If I was going to change, I would have. A long time ago. The only thing that's changed now is that we don't need her. And you have nothing to be afraid of. Unmake us? Kill us? That's foolishness. You don't really think I'm interested in that sort of thing, do you? I talk. I do a lot of talking. I haven't fought someone in so long, I'm thinking about picking up boxing again."
He allowed another brief silence to better collect his thoughts. "…Raven, do you ever wonder what's going to happen to this planet? Do you ever wonder how long the senshi and the Negaverse are going to fight—who is going to win. What's going to happen to Earth?"
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 11:05 am
Raven shrugged, leaning against him, against her better judgment.
“But now you have the same power that she did. People are going to expect you to lead us, and I don’t want that…I’m a selfish brat…I don’t…I really don’t give a damn about what happens to the earth Jett…I just want to be happy with you. If it ends, so be it. There’s nothing that me or you being in the war and fighting will do to change it. To be honest, we were never supposed to be part of the equation. We’re the freaks. We’re the mutants of the group…and we don’t fit in, so why bother. I just want to give it up and move on…and I really…”
She gripped his arm tightly. “Please…Please just give it up with me…Please, Jett…”
Damn. Now she had resorted to begging…And she was sure that she had at least one cut on her hand from the ring, either that or her hands were just sweating up a storm.
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 11:14 am
"Raven," he tried again; he was holding his breath and then just sighed, letting it out slowly. "I told you how I felt before. I can't just sit idly by knowing that you could be in danger. What if some Negaverse Agent comes after you? What if something bad happens to you and I can't save you?"
He knew she was selfish. He'd known that for a long time. But she seemed to forget that he was selfish, in his own way. For the longest time everything had been about him. And then it was about 'us'.
And he didn't want to give the 'us' up.
"I need to think about it. I feel like saying yes is saying I don't care who gets hurt. I feel like saying yes is saying that I want these morons to ******** the world up. What if we could make our own world, Raven? What if—what if we could find some way. A backup plan or something, for when everything else is too far gone to be saved. Our own Paris or Florida or Hawaii, far away from this. What if we could make it?"
He wrapped an arm around her, partly because he missed how she felt against him. Partly because he was worried if he didn't, she would leave.
"I'll compromise with you. I'll work with you. On anything and everything. I've had a lot of time to think. And the little things I neglected before? I can work on. We can fix. There are apartments well within our budget not too far away. Weddings aren't that expensive. I can spend more than half my time with you. But I can't just give up. I can't just let the world rot. Not when we could do so much better."
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 11:20 am
“That’s when you start sounding like Ares. Making your own world. I was told that that’s why we were made. Because she wanted to make her own world…”
She wanted to pull away, but forced herself to remain in his arms, though she might have gone a little limp by now. Or maybe a lot limp. He wasn’t going to give it up.
“Jett…” Raven’s voice was surprisingly small and meek right now and she felt her eyes begin to burn. “I can’t…I can’t be with you then…I…I’m sorry. I can’t handle it…I can’t handle it and I’m only going to get more and more resentful and I just can’t do that…”
She was trembling and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to shove away the tears, but of course that just made them leak out even more. Slowly she drew out the ring from her pocket, holding it out. “I’m sorry.”
There was nothing more to say. Nothing more to say at all as the sobs came rushing out.
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 11:28 am
Jett felt cold again. Like he wasn't in control of his body. He didn't move his arm; he didn't have any desire to. He didn't want her to go.
"You haven't even given me a chance, Raven. You're jumping to the worst conclusions. Don't do that—don't…don't cry."
God, he hated when she cried.
"We can figure things out. Work through them. Don't give me that back," he said, seeming offended at the sight of the ring. "What do you think I'm going to do, hold onto it? Give it to someone else? That ring is yours." He folded his hand over hers, forcing her to keep the ring in her palm.
What was he supposed to do—keep it as a reminder of how not to hold a stable relationship? It was too pretty to tuck away.
Exasperated, he held her tightly, not even sure if the embrace would be welcome. But what was he supposed to do? What the hell did you do when someone cried? He'd have walked away swiftly if it had been anyone other than Raven.
But it was her, and she made him weak.
"I can still prove you wrong, Raven. You just have to give me a chance. I can make everything okay. For us. For everyone. Powered, not powered. We can do anything. So don't cry, you're too good for that. Don't just throw all of this away." His voice was a bit hollow, most likely from trying to repress the emotions he was feeling. "Please."
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:40 pm
Raven swallowed, trying to force the sobs away. Finally she did manage to get herself to a point where they were less all encompassing and the blonde grabbed the front of Jett's shirt, clutching to both it and the ring. "Please."
Her voice was firm, despite the few sobs and hiccups that still wracked her body. "Please just give it up. For a while, please a month? Just a month...Can we concentrate on fixing us before we worry about fixing the world...? Please Jett...I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you to the court. And I can't lose you...to just...to my stupidity and anger...Please."
She shook her head. "Just a month...We can figure out what to do after that...I promise."
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:32 pm
Just a month. She made it sound so easy. Just a month. Four weeks. Thirty days.
To secure a lifetime with her?
He didn't like the idea of giving it up entirely. It was like dangling all this power in front of him—letting him taste it—and then saying he couldn't have it. It was disappointing and he sighed, but that was the worst of it. "A month," he agreed, "Unless there's an emergency. And I don't mean a sprained ankle or someone got their feelings hurt. I mean if there's a real problem. Can you do that?"
He didn't ask for one night a week at least, like he wanted. And he knew it would be hard. He could already feel the pressure rising in his stomach at the thought of doing nothing for the Court. He couldn't imagine going to work, going to school, going out with her and going to bed. His skin felt like it had been pulled taut across his muscles and it felt wrong. He was paranoid and anxious and he hadn't even started on the month. He was already frustrated at the idea.
What would the rest of the Court think? What was Leto going to do for the next month? Were the wraiths even taken care of?
Did he really even want to let things take their course without his influence?
No, not really.
But he'd try, for her.
Even if it would drive him insane.
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 9:03 pm
Raven swallowed, then snuggled close, sighing. This was a relief. A huge relief and it felt like a weight had been removed from her. “Thank you, Jett…Thank you…I…If there’s an emergency, you can power up, fine. But…but if there’s nothing…then you won’t…okay?”
She looked up at him and rubbed at her eyes slightly, slipping the ring back on her finger. “I’ll hold onto your henshin pen…if that’s okay…maybe by the end of the month we’ll have our own place…do you think? That would be great…”
The blonde felt much better now. Calmer and happier than she had felt in quite a long time. He had picked her. He really did, and there was no way that anyone could argue otherwise.
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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 9:35 pm
Take his henshin pen, too? Damn, she was really intent about this.
For a brief moment, he wondered if he was ever going to get his pen back if he gave it to her. Except he was trying to trust her, so he couldn't think such thoughts.
"If you really insist. Though, if there's an emergency, you know that means I'm going to have to drive all the way over to your place to get it before I can do anything. Unless you're willing to power up and play delivery girl to get it back here."
He felt hollow at the thought of actually giving it up. Like he was signing away a hand or something. Though, if they moved in together, he could have it right there if need be…
And hopefully that would alleviate all of her concerns that he was cheating on her.
"If you want to clean up and give me a few minutes to get dressed, I'll take you out to lunch, we can go look at apartments. Just don't cry. And don't yell at me. One of these days I'm not going to be able to hold my tongue and I don't want to hurt you."
Or be forced to choose her over the court permanently. This had been a hard decision, and one that was close to making him ill. Even with a deadline—a date that he could count down to—he wasn't certain how he'd manage.
He just wanted the days to run out, wanted to settle things with her, wanted to fix the Court.
Wanted to make everything okay. Sooner, rather than later.
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