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 Posted: Fri Aug 30, 2013 11:54 am
Every word was like a needle in her heart until she felt like each beat hurt too much. Stormy bit the inside of her n**, trying to make it look like a thoughtful gesture instead of one made from anxiety. Keep it together, right? Deep breath.
So he remembered about as much as she did, minus something else...She could work with that. She had to.
"It's okay." She swallowed her pain and smiled reassuringly for him, because Gale looked in about as much turmoil as she did and she couldn't stand the sight of it. "It's okay, because we'll work through it one memory at a time," she said, forcing herself to remain calm. "So."
Storm hesitated, and then scooted a little closer, enough that she could lean over and lightly pat his hand. "I remember those, too. The cruise was where you gave me that cute bracelet," she recalled fondly as she retracted her hand back to her lap, though her face began to warm as she moved to the other memory he mentioned. "A-And my room...right." It was the most recent memory, and yet still somehow a little blurry. Maybe because she had stayed up a little too late, or maybe just a byproduct of so much happening recently that things got smushed together.
"I remember you wanted to plan a date. And I remember you saying that, yes," she said softly, fingers curling into each other with rising self-consciousness. "And I, um...remember us kissing. So I guess that really happened..." And she most definitely remembered doing it several times and still wanting more. On her bed. On her bed. And Nevada's meddling that had really flustered her further...She started to reach for her hair to fiddle with, remembered herself, and let her hand sink again.
"I do remember how we met, though." That, Stormy could put more effort into her smile for, even though she was still blushing furiously. "It was last year, a few days before Christmas. I was building a snow dog for one of the Halloween people who'd been nice to me, and I strong-armed you to help. Made you work with just one hand protected since I only had one pair of gloves on me." She gave a weak chuckle, though she eyed Gale curiously, wondering if that might help trigger something.
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Posted: Fri Aug 30, 2013 11:06 pm
The feel of her hand touching his, even briefly, made him start, Gale feeling his heart leap into his throat. The urge to grab her and pull her closer was almost overwhelming now, and he curled his fingers up into a fist against the edge of the couch to keep himself from doing just that.
"Yes, I remember your room," he said, his cheeks flushed a brilliant scarlet now because how could he not remember her room, or the way she had looked at him, the way she had smiled at him, the way she had wound her arms around him and kissed him as though he were the only one that mattered.
As though they were the only two in existence.
His expression softened a little. "A snow dog," Gale repeated, and something fluttered in his mind; a vague wisp of a thought, a light, hardly tangible passing whim.
"I don't remember that," he said in frustration. "But I wish I did, I wish I could remember everything but all I see are gaps."
He reached out a hand suddenly, his fingers curling around hers.
"I want to remember why I feel this way about you," he said without looking at her, face turned away, cheeks still flushed red.
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Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 12:05 am
So not even mentioning it would help? She wished she could keep her hopes and expectations down, but they kept wearily moving up and down with her emotions, optimistic one second, despairing the next, enduring the inner ache that was being forgotten in any capacity. But her smile didn't waver because she made sure it didn't, made sure it remained simple and hopefully just a little bright for him even in the dim twilight in his house.
"It's okay," Stormy said calmly. "It's okay because the first step is recognizing the problem--" Then she paused when Gale reached over and slid his fingers between hers, the familiarity of the gesture soothing her as much as it made her heart race just a bit--and it also relieved her to know it wasn't too big of a push right now. "Maybe the key to this is recreating those memories through guesswork . . . ?"
She squeezed his hand a little. "And even if neither've us remember, we can make new memories," Stormy said in a softer tone. "We don't have to let this keep us down. You know you have a feeling, and . . . sometimes that's enough to know. Maybe you forgot why and how because they didn't make sense anyway," she added with a self-effacing chuckle. "Emotions are funny like that. They can be super strong and not have a single origin in logic. And you're a very factual person after all!"
kurotomato whoops forgot stormy's due for a font change
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Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 5:37 am
It was, if he thought about it, probably one of the most excruciatingly frustrating things that he had dealt with. There was a lot of pain and sadness in his life, a great deal of misery and suffering, but frustration over that and frustration over this were two separate feelings entirely.
"Guesswork?" Gale repeated, still not looking at Stormy, though he felt her fingers curl a bit tighter around his own. He listened quietly to what she was saying, pressing his lips together thoughtfully.
He almost looked at her, but then still couldn't. "...if I'm factual then why can't I figure out the facts of this," he mumbled, face reddening slightly. "You're...you're lovely, and I know that you are, and I know that I feel...very strongly about you, but I don't know why and I don't know how and I want to be able to know that without making you feel in a bad way, or like I don't care, because I do."
Gale's voice grew softer. "I do care about you an awful lot."
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Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 10:33 am
Her brows knitted. If memory served, while Gale did blush more frequently than most and could get a little flustered, he still was a person who moved forward when he knew what he wanted. In the infirmary he was the one who had initiated physical contact with their hands, kissed her cheek, brushed against her lips despite being very hesitant. And on the boat (and other places besides) he had been forthright with his want to actually kiss her, even though she had come up with excuses in a fit of nerves. Gale was normally so assured, she thought, that it was almost bizarre to see him stay in place because of doubt.
But she did not mind pushing one bit, if given space like this to work with.
"'Make me feel bad?' I don't think you could," Stormy with a little smile, scooting closer until their legs were close to touching. "If I remember right, you make me feel the opposite, Gale~ I think this is one of those times where you're overthinking it again." She admitted she was terribly curious as to how someone could forget the why and how (Had there really been a specific moment he had come to that conclusion? She wanted to know!), but for now it wasn't important.
Stormy lifted her other hand after a little hesitation, fingers slightly curled until they moved to lightly cup his cheek. "I also think that where words fail, actions speak louder," she added softly, steadily looking at Gale even if his gaze didn't meet hers.
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Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 4:31 pm
A part of him couldn't suppress the rising feeling of stupidity and insufficiency that rose with every passing second. A dull ache pounded between his temples, Gale absently rubbing his fingers across his forehead in a rather vague attempt at easing it.
He felt, rather than saw, her shift, the couch dipping a bit lower as she moved closer, and his heartbeat quickened in his chest, Gale feeling as though it were becoming a little more difficult to breathe.
Her fingers touched his cheek and it felt warm and familiar and like fire. He drew in a sharp, almost startled breath, his body tensing automatically but he turned to look at her anyway, his chest feeling tight. Their faces were so close together, but he couldn't move, not yet.
"That's what I do," he said. "I over think everything."
His fingers tightened around hers.
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Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 5:34 pm
She willed herself to stay still when he tensed, reminding herself that he had reason to be anxious. And maybe she shouldn't have been pushing him like this, maybe she should have just let Gale be and moved on to something less stressing. But there was a magnetic pull that drew Stormy in too strong to ignore, strong enough to override the fact that her heart was beating faster and faster, a nameless compulsion that pushed her forward. Though his fingers tightened to keep them there, she slipped her hand from his so that it could cup Gale's other cheek and properly hold him close.
Torn between multiple impulses, Stormy eventually caved and let her forehead fall against his. "Then don't think," she told him simply, "just--"
Something in her mind flickered and gave her pause. As she and Thane mentally converged upon it, the memory suddenly assaulted her.
"So . . . you're asking me because it's me, right? And not for any other reason? Because Nevada--"
"I'm asking you because no-one else will."
The irritated words struck her like a hammer and left her momentarily speechless; too many questions, she thought, and she apologized. Her hands went cold beneath his as she stared at him, spirits sinking. He had denied it was because someone else had rejected him, but it wasn't compelling enough . . . There was a lingering emotion to it that made her realize she really was chosen to be the rebound girl. That when they would kiss, he would be thinking of someone else he'd rather hold in his arms.
And it hurt to know that because in the end her decision was the same. It didn't matter in the end if she had worth beyond that title, and it didn't matter if she couldn't live up to the expectations of that first love--so long as someone expressed interest at all. Gale was right, no-one else would ask her anyway. She was a meek indecisive little thing and she was lucky to be offered another shot at a relationship (if this could be called such).
"Okay," she mumbled, and with a blink the tears fell.
"Okay?"
She forced a smile, sniffled, and kissed his forehead. "Okay."
Her heart cracked just a little, but . . . she couldn't say no. Gale's efforts had shown his dedication against being alone, and . . . It was--it was him. And she had come to like him more than she let on.
Abruptly the memory ended, and without thinking Stormy physically pulled away from Gale with a small gasp, slightly more pallid than before as her mind went into a small whirl of chaos over the uncovered memory. It felt genuine, but it also felt wrong somehow, it didn't connect at all to what she remembered had led up to or what had resulted--
"I-I--"
Her heart was racing, and she swallowed a few breaths and slid her hands off his cheeks, holding them before her as though unsure where to place them now. Her expression, for a moment, was somewhere between surprise and horror; and then that too was swallowed down.
"I'm sorry," Stormy squeaked, lowering her gaze with a radiant blush. "I-I'm so sorry, that was . . . that was uncalled for."
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Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 8:50 pm
Another hand touched his face, and then she was holding his face in her hands and he could feel his heartbeat in his throat, beating so loud he could hear it inside of his head, and he could feel his stomach twisting and turning and his breathing came out a little quicker, a little less steady.
Gale lifted his hands, placed them on top of Stormy's, held them in place, curling his fingers around hers. He remembered this - remembered that this was their special spot, the two of them their foreheads against each other's, lost in a world that was just their own.
"Just..." he repeated, and leaned closer, his face mere inches from her own. He reached out to her -
- and she pulled away, quickly, suddenly, her face pale and her eyes wide. Startled, Gale jerked aside, his fingers losing the grip they had on hers, and then there was a space between them, her hands away from his face, and his heart was so loud, so noisy, that he could scarcely breathe.
What just happened?
He couldn't figure it out; his Death oriented mind was screaming for answers, his mind twisting and curling, the thoughts all mixing together, blurring into one.
"It's...it's fine," said Gale, his fingers curling against the edge of the couch. He felt stupid, slow - unwanted, somehow, a sense of hurt and embarrassment welling in the pit of his stomach like an ugly black mass.
He looked at Stormy, his cheeks red.
"Are you all right?"
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Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 9:49 pm
No, I'm not.
Coming back from missions always came with a sort of rocky road, but she never would have guessed it would get this bad. First she had this lock to deal with on Thane and her mind, then she went and cut her hair on a semi-neurotic and illogical impulse, then Nevada forgot how they even met, then Gale couldn't remember important parts, and now this memory showed up twisted and gnarled and completely incongruent to what her other memories showed? No, no, something was wrong. Maybe something was wrong with her too while they were at it.
Stormy was quivering a little as she tried not to cry, jaw clenching and releasing a few times. She wanted to move, to pull Gale into an embrace and bury herself, but was that pushing again? Could she even manage it without cracking?
"I-I have . . . lot've stuff going through my mind right now," she mumbled, face burning still from her actions. It was killing her not to reach out and touch him again, to find the security of his hand at least. This couldn't be the right memory, it just couldn't be . . . So why did she remember those feelings of inadequacy? Of settling? Her hands tightened in her lap into balled fists, nails digging into her palms. "Are you okay, though?" Stormy asked in turn, still not looking at him. "I'm sorry, I-I shouldn'tve pushed like that . . . I just . . . I know you're probably uncomfortable and I don't want to make that worse just because I'm selfish and being stupid, and there are bigger things going on."
And I have the wrong memory, a terrible one, and it can't be real because I remember you, I know you, you're sweeter than that, you are so, so much better than that--
She bit her lip to keep it from wobbling. Deep breaths, Stormy. what happened to staying calm for his sake?
So a deep breath she took. "Sorry," she mumbled again, unable to dislodge the feeling of guilt welling up inside her at how he probably was reacting to this on the inside. "Sorry, it's all confusing a-and . . . What do you want to do?" Because if she kept talking she'd just apologize again and again and again.
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Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 3:25 pm
Hesitantly he reached out a hand, touching her shoulder almost as though he were afraid if he did too much she would hit him, or maybe run away, and he wasn't sure he could deal with that right now. He could not stop the gnawing sensation in his stomach, nor could he get rid of the desire to hold onto her, but he could at least hold it back for now.
"I'm not," said Gale quickly. "I'm not uncomfortable, I..."
He didn't know what he was. Carefully, he shifted, reaching out to hold her other arm, his fingers curling around her. What he wanted to do was a mess inside his mind, bits and pieces twisting in confusion and a tangled chaos. He couldn't decipher one thing from the other, and it was making his head hurt.
Gale shifted again, drawing closer, and he wanted to be in that space again, the space where their foreheads touched and it was just the two of them, together, with no one else but them, but he didn't move, not yet, not while she still looked pale and shaken and confused.
"What do you want?" he asked her quietly.
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Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 3:55 pm
She wanted a great deal of many things: she wanted to take back cutting her hair because it was a stupid move, she wanted to hold him close, she wanted the power back on, she wanted to forget her life before Deus, she wanted him to remember, she wanted everything to be fine and have nobody dead and the Tear didn't happen, and by God she wanted to kiss him so much it was unreal. That was how it worked in Disney movies; you kissed Sleeping Beauty and she woke up, you kissed the Beast and he became a prince again, you kissed Prince Naveen and you both became human again. It was the magical cure-all that failed her now, because this wasn't a fairy tale--no amount emotion would fix this.
Why hadn't he remembered when she did...? That was the real question.
"I asked you first," Stormy protested weakly, putting up less of a fight when he was moving closer, touching her. Her fists loosened and one hand turned to lightly grasp Gale's arm in turn, and she took a breath to stop shaking. "But, um...I want you to not be so lone--isolated up here," she corrected quickly. "Maybe you could move in with Bix, or someone who lives in the dorms...I just don't like the idea of you being here away from everyone else."
She hesitated, then her eyes finally made the serious path to look him in his with a pleading expression. "Something might happen, who knows. I want you near until this problem's solved.
"Now, your turn: what do you want?"
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Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:53 pm
He turned sideways fully now, his hands still gripping Stormy's arms, and he felt her fingers curl in the sleeve of his sweater, Gale feeling his heart beat in slow, erratic beats in his chest. Her concern for him was touching, almost unbelievable, because he couldn't quite understand that someone wanted him as much as he wanted them.
At least, no one that he could remember. And it frustrated him.
"You."
The word came out abruptly, unintentionally, Gale drawing a sharp breath, his cheeks flushed. But his gaze was steady, his fingers tightening a little as he looked at her.
"I want you, and I want to understand that, and I want to be with you but I can't figure out why and I can't figure out how and it's - this is driving me absolutely mad but I just..."
He broke off, frustrated.
"I want to remember why I feel this way about you because something tells me that it is very...very precious to me."
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Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 7:24 pm
You. The word jolted through her like a lightning bolt, made her instinctively clutch his arms just a little tighter in response as well. It should have been enough to hear that--God did she feel like it validated her presence now--and yet it wasn't. It was a partial admittance stemming from missing memories, and while Stormy could feel her face warming up far too fast and feel her heart race even faster, it was . . . cyclical. It was fragmented and cracked and not whole and it was killing her just as much as it was relieving her to hear it. And she could only imagine what it felt like for Gale.
Driven by emotion, she skipped the scooting part and flat out leaned into his space, almost in his lap. her hands skimmed his shoulders as they rose, arms sliding or breaking free from Gale's hold as she once again cupped his cheeks and brought him closer.
Stormy paused, their noses brushing, struggling to find the right words to convey how she felt. The problem was that there was too much welled up inside her to verbalize at this point, she was sure it would only be more babbling or ranting if she tried; so she bridged the gap and kissed him instead with a bit of a desperate edge, perhaps a bit too much for the first time back from a mission (let alone with complicated emotions and missing memories), but God she didn't care for a few seconds. It was when her eyes began to sting that she pulled away, breathing slightly erratic as she kept herself from crying, kept the pain lodged at the back of her throat.
She looked at Gale steadily despite her quivering state, hands still pressed to his face, searching for a revelation in his eyes.
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Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 7:51 pm
He was holding his breath, or maybe he had just forgotten how to breathe entirely.
Stormy was inches away from him now, her hands moving from his arms to touch his face, and Gale felt something inside of his stomach twist, his heart thumping so loudly it was almost deafening. He opened his mouth, intending to say something, anything at all, but instead what came out was a small, sharp intake of breath that was abruptly shortened by Stormy kissing him.
Everything seemed to slow to a screeching halt. Gale felt warmth spread across him in spades, and he responded immediately and with just the same amount of pressure, not caring that he couldn't remember because even if his mind did not recognize this, every other part of him did. Gale slid one arm around Stormy's back, one hand still gripping her arm, and kissed her back, feeling an edge of frustration feeding into it.
When she pulled away, his breathing was just as erratic, Gale's eyes fluttering, and he didn't want to move, Stormy's hands feeling warm on his burning face.
"I..." he said stupidly, and his thoughts were an entire mess. Something flickered across them.
"I'm Gale, by the way."
"Okay, sorry, sorry, it's just . . . a real fun coincidence, actually. Lemme try again. Hiya, Gale. If that's your real name, awesome. If it isn't, I totally get that - mine isn't real, but call me Stormy. How's the weather?"
The memory was fast, quick, and faded, like fragments of glass that had shattered and were being swept away. Gale shook his head, just a little, and moved his hand from Stormy's arm to slide it around to the back of her head, fingers sifting through the new, short strands to pull her towards him for another kiss, this one almost as desperate as the one she had initially given him.
When he pulled away, he felt slightly lightheaded.
"I...saw something," he said, his forehead against hers. "I heard...your voice somewhere inside of my head, but then it was gone and I can't seem to grab it - "
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Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 8:37 pm
There was a quavery sound that escaped her during the first kiss, a half-formed word of relief that even if his mind was not on the same page as hers, at least his body was. But it was awful to sit and wait and listen to him breathe, to watch his eyes flicker about without knowing what it was for. And yet somehow she felt her hopes rising, perking like a dog that heard its name, because maybe, just maybe, kisses did have healing powers in the real world too. When Gale shook his head, she almost asked him if something had happened, but she couldn't find her voice from how tight her throat felt.
The rest of it fell away when his fingers crept into her hair, a motion that made her breath hitch from how sensitive she was to it. Stormy all but melted into the second kiss, forgetting her fear for one brief but intense moment as she funneled out more of her nervous energy to match him. When Gale pulled away, her breath came with a sniffle and a softer, watery gasp that made her realize rather belatedly that there were tears falling down her cheeks.
But had he remembered . . .?
Her hopes were rising dangerously high on so little information. "I-I . . . It's okay," she mumbled in a small voice, eyes closed as her forehead leaned against his, trying ot pull herself together. Her thumb made small idle strokes against his cheek in an attempt to soothe him. "Deep breaths. You got one back, and that's what matters . . . "
If only she knew what had triggered it, though!
"Which was it? Did you feel or see something happen?" They felt like such useless questions in lieu of her want to keep kissing him, but she had to remember that this process was delicate--as was the emotional atmosphere.
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