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 Posted: Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:18 pm
"It makes you the same as every one else before they have wet their appetite," Ambroise responded smoothly. He had suspected it would be this, once upon a time he had been in the same position and had the same conversation with his father. For those who 'played' at war, when war came to their doorstep they weren't necessarily prepared for the horror that waited for them. It was a shock to the system to see the brutality, where those who sparred would stop, those on the battlefield did not. The moral compass had to be shifted and tempered to make certain that the individual accepted that their duty was to slay... For some this became too much of a shock to bear.
"Those who stepped forward are individuals who have seen more wars and conflicts in their life than you," he pointed out and released a sigh. "They know how they will respond in a tight spot, they know what to do and they have confidence in skills they have utilised before," he continued. A slow smile formed on his lips and he simply observed his son for a few moments, one who was being decidedly harsh on himself and this was most likely due to Ambroise's expectations.
"To have fear is perfectly normal," he said at last and nodded towards the Valley. "So long as you do not allow fear to paralyse you, it allows you to take caution. You are less likely to be more reckless," he added. "To accept your fear, to walk onwards despite it, and to use it to your advantage is what makes a warrior," he murmured and returned his gaze to his son. "I did not expect you to speak given the gravity of the situation, nor did I expect you to step forward..."
He shrugged.
"In fact, you acted just as I did when I first realised that if I confronted Kiyoshi, I might die on that day..."
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Posted: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:28 am
Wyeth had always know that there were those who held his father in awe, and maybe even in a little trepidation. Ambroise's personality was firm, and he had never brooked much in the way of nonsense that Wyeth could remember. This could make for a very intimidating father, one who could inspire fear as much as affection. But in Wyeth, there had never been fear. Admiration, awe, respect, and pride had been there in abundance, but never fear. The reverence in which he held his father had led him to be what he hoped was a better stallion, a better Soquili; one who could live the example he'd been shown growing up. He had never been afraid of Ambroise, not his wrath, nor even his disappointment. But just because he didn't fear his father's disappointment didn't mean he embraced it, even if it wasn't there. An ironic element of hero worship was projecting one's own opinions into the mind of the hero, and holding oneself to what he thought the expectations would be. And sometimes, internal expectations could be the worst. Wyeth had built up his failings to such a dramatic scale that Ambroise's words caught him completely off guard. If he hadn't had so much practice in emotional restraint, he might literally have been knocked back on his heels. As it was, for a few minutes he could only stare at his father as he processed the fact that what he was feeling was apparently reasonable and rational. Within reason, of course. After a long silence, he asked, "But how do you know if you own your fear, Father? How did you learn when you faced Kiyoshi, and how do I know that I won't be paralyzed? I certainly felt paralyzed today, and it was only a conversation." He sighed, then realized how ridiculous he must look; like a worried child, rather than a trained Border Guard.
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Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 2:28 pm
"It's different for everyone," Ambroise replied after a moment of consideration, casting his mind back to the period in which he had faced Kiyoshi. "I can't speak for the others, and to be honest, I can barely speak for myself," he concluded. He had long ago understood what his own father and Cyn had meant when they said he would 'know', that there was no seemingly easy way to detect or realise it...it was something that would happen, a single, defining moment.
You either lived or died in those moments.
Or rather, you might live, but only if another was there to intervene. Given the rarity of such support, it was rare that such moments were so forgiving. It had been no wonder his mother had been so utterly against such training! Ah, but it was all in the past and despite his injuries he had returned alive, and much stronger for it too. "When it happens, you will know," he said finally and shook his head. "It will be impossible to miss."
Clearing his throat, he cast his gaze towards his son and hazarded a wry smile. A rarity for the stallion who showed little emotion, but around his family and in specific situations, it was definitely warranted. "It is impossible to know how you will react," he pursed his lips before continuing. "All you can do is rely on your training in those moments, that your instincts will kick in and fight for you until your mind catches up," he shrugged his shoulders. "There is a reason we are all drilled endlessly until our routines are so endlessly repetitive that we do them automatically..."
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Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:58 am
If Wyeth had expected a detailed schematic from his father, or a list of steps to follow to know his own mind, he would have been disappointed. If he had been expecting a dramatic retelling of personal moments of heroism, he would have been further disappointed. There had been no expectation on Wyeth's part, so there was nothing to disappoint. But indeed, quite the opposite managed to occur. It's always an intense moment when we are reminded our heroes are mortal just like us, capable of making mistakes and not knowing the answers. Knowing that even Ambroise, with all his experience and responsibility, didn't really have an answer was almost...freeing. Two thoughts struck Wyeth at that time. One, he was making much ado about nothing, and two...he was a border guard of the Hourglass Summit. Briefly closing his eyes to gather his composure, a habit he'd had ever since he was a foal, he allowed those two thoughts to sink in and be absorbed by his subconscious. When his eyes reopened, they were calm, and he inclined his head at his father. "Thank you for your support, Father, and for your insights. I will just have to wait and watch for my own moment of decision, I suppose, and in the meantime..." He squared his shoulders, then asked, "Where do you want me to be?" It was time to get down to business.
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Posted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 5:29 pm
"Where you always are," Ambroise replied smoothly, a half smile on his lips. Wyeth was very much like his mother in certain respects, worrying over what Ambroise often deemed to be 'nothing'; Wyeth seemed prone to over thinking things on occasion. It wasn't that Ambroise regarded it as a bad quality, he found it rather endearing, but it was fascinating to see how Elizabeth's influence had developed within their son.
"Continue as you have been, do what you want to, and when it is time to move then we will move in accordance," he continued, extending a wing and motioning it towards the rest of the territory. "While we will move soon, there is no reason why you cannot continue as normal until then," he pointed out and tilted his head to the side before glancing towards Elizabeth.
"Though I would suggest that you settle your mother's nerves just a touch before you do wander off, she is entitled to know some of your concerns..."
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Posted: Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:03 am
Wyeth knew he would still have a lot of thinking and nerve-steeling to do, but he would do that on his own time. This conversation had certainly been beneficial, even if it reminded him just how wide the gulf between his father's experience and his own. Only time would help bridge that gap, time and his own bravery and willingness to do what needed to be done. He could only hope that he was up to the challenge. He followed his father's gaze back to his mother, who was standing several yards away, grazing with what appeared to be serene abandon. He knew she had to be worried about him, yet she made no effort to eavesdrop on what Wyeth had requested be a private conversation. More to the point, she showed no outward signs of concern, even though, as Ambroise had just indicated, her nerves had to need some settling. He himself might be good at hiding his emotions, but he had nothing on his parents yet. “I will, Father. On both counts. And I earnestly hope that when the time comes, you can count on me.” Nodding at his father, he turned and strode back over to Elizabeth. “I'm sorry to have worried you, Mother. You see...”
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