Welcome to Gaia! ::

It had been rough, lately. Abbot had been out at all hours of the night and spent her days managing her one true love: her bookstore. But tonight it was just going to be about her. Just Abbot. She had everything she needed set out for herself for a night in from facial cream to nail polish and snacks. The good, fattening stuff she didn’t let herself eat otherwise. She might even use some of her good, expensive tobacco – the night was still young, after all. But, first thing was first.

Amanda lay outside the door, her stumpy little legs stretched out just past her legs in the fashion that had always endeared her to Abbot. Her constant little guard. In that safety, she let the robe fall to the floor around her ankles before stepping into the steaming bath. Lavender bubbles obscured her body as she carefully submerged herself to soak for a good long while. Long enough to fall asleep in the water, as a matter of fact. Amanda roused her with a gentle, muffle bark from the lip of the tub. Abbot laughed, leaving a wet spot on Amanda’s head where she ruffled her fur.

“You’re right,” Abbot laughed, lifting herself from the water, “once the bubbles are all gone, it’s time to get out, isn’t it?” She grinned, wiping a small amount of remaining foam on the dog’s nose. Now that she was loosened up, all that she needed from the bathroom was a quick shower to scrub off all the sweat from the steamy hot bath. After all, baths were good for relaxing, but in the end Abbot only ever felt, as far as hygiene, that she was stewing in her own filth. It was a hot shower that made her feel clean.

Phase one complete.

Phase two was much shorter, and consisted of getting into very nice lace underwear. Something to feel sexy in, if only for herself. Then it was on to phase three.

Amanda liked the smell of Abbot’s facial mask. It was minty and cucumber-y and sweet. Abbot liked the smell too.

“What do you think, ‘Manda? What should we watch tonight?” Amanda yapped and bumped her nose against the worn spine of a clearly well loved DVD.

“Ah,” Abbot sighed. “It’s a musical. It’s a slasher. It’s a fashion statement.” Amanda grunted in agreement and waddled over to sit next to the pile of pillows Abbot had set up for herself. Abbot slipped Repo! into the DVD player and sat back in her nest to enjoy phase four of her evening. The movie itself.

In truth, phase four consisted of three parts: the movie, her nails, and eating herself to sleep. Which she did very happily. She did love the ruby red polish she picked out.

“We’re going to need to go pick up more of this color, eh ‘Manda?” Manda huffed sleepily, chin resting on the closest pillow. Abbot laughed and mussed the fur between her shoulders.

“Another day, huh? We still have half the movie and all these snacks to eat, after all.”

Abbot and Amanda both ended up sleeping on the floor in front of the television that night, and while her back complained about it all the next day, Abbot didn’t regret it.

The events from that night spiraled and swirled around Abbot's mind over and over as she lay on her side in bed, unable to sleep. In the crook of her legs, Amanda snored happily, and Abbot absently reached down to stroke her head and ears every once in a while, but beyond that, she made no movements. On her bedside table glistened the tiny little jewel which had sung to her from within the girl, sitting innocuously on its side. Abbot’s palms still bore the indentations and small cuts from its sharp points and edges. Her flesh still remembered the sharp little stings as those points and edges bit into her. Her ears still rung from the chorus it had screamed at her.

Abbot’s eyes stung. Each time she blinked, the edges smarted, aching to stay closed, but she never allowed them. The starseed before her held her, entranced, and stole sleep from her. And Abbot didn’t seem to mind. Or at the very least she wasn’t upset about it. In fact to the contrary, the idea of taking her eyes off of this seed upset her more than staying up all night to stare at it.

Painite touched this when I was awakened.

Abbot had one, she knew. Her fist was curled at her sternum, the flesh above the void between her flesh and her muscle below. And she knew that every powered individual that she met had one as well.

What she hadn’t known, however, was that civilians had one as well. And she knew that the little lamb had been unawakened because she hadn’t known what Hopeite had been. Did everyone have one of these, awakened or not? It would make sense, Painite simply turning on a switch within her instead of planting something foreign.

Harmonia has one

Abbot suddenly felt a deep, sharp keening within her. It chased the sting away from her eyes and caused her to sit suddenly upright. The yearning she felt down in her bones, that… wicked temptation… it was like holding a small bird and knowing that, at any time, she could crush it in her hands. She wouldn’t even have to try. Just light finding a light… and switching it off. As easy as blinking.

Beside her, Amanda whined through her yawn, but Abbot couldn’t bring herself to care. She was in the middle of a spiritual awakening. Previously, before she had this new power, the sensation that she may, at any given time, harm weaker creature frightened her.

Why did it not frighten her now?

Driven to her feet, Abbot paced about her room, fingers tapping against her lower lip. She pondered the question in fitful silence, lips shaping around words without a voice.

Before she had been awakened, the feeling had still been there, but always tempered by fear. Fear of… fear of what? Abbot immediate answer was fear of doing harm, but that wasn’t strictly speaking true. Stripped of the name she had imposed on it, that fear was now confusing and strange. So if it didn’t bare the name she had given it, then what was it called? What was she so afraid of? Abbot envisioned herself with that little bird in her hands as she paced. It fluttered weakly against her fingers until she clenched her fists and crushed it. And there was the fear again, but not at the harm she had done. No.

Abbot no, her mother scolded somewhere in the background. Suddenly she was a small girl again, her mother’s hand painfully firm around her wrist. She was flung around suddenly and faced with a crowd of disapproving faces. So that’s what she had been afraid of. Retribution. Consequence. She had held power over that small bird only, but that did not free her from the natural penalty of cruelty.

Which would explain why, now that she had all this cosmic power, she was no longer afraid of her own violent inclinations. The revelation was… calming. It flowed over her like gentle water and warmed her to her toes.

No one was going to punish her for crushing little birds anymore.

And she knew exactly which bird she wanted to crush first.

Hopeite was powering up less and less these days. Really it was only to visit Harmonia, collect her quota, and go home. And even those visits were growing increasingly truncated… Harmonia kept talking about ways out. Ways to fix this, ways to heal from what she had done. Hopeite didn’t listen while she was there, and didn’t stick around long enough to figure out if Harmonia meant what she said. It was easier to just assume that Harmonia was saying anything that she could to keep herself alive.

Take what you want.

I won’t press charges.

I won’t even call the police.

Yeah, that was what she was doing. Biding her time and keeping herself alive for as long as she could. Keeping herself good for as long as possible. And honestly, it was getting harder and harder to break her down as time wore on. The more Harmonia begged and pleaded, the more Hopeite loathed to try anything to her. Her torment was down now to not feeding her and allowing her to drink precious little. Anything else made Hopeite’s stomach turn. Where previously she had counted down the moment until she could work on Harmonia, now there was only dread.

As to whether she dreaded the work that had to be done or Harmonia’s pleas more… Hopeite had no answer.

She decided not to visit that night, for whatever the reason, and instead sent another lieutenant in her stead with some scraps of food and water. She chose, instead, to fill her quota and then walk. Walk in the darkness of the night with no destination in her mind. Really, there was nothing in her mind. Just echoing emptiness that she struggled to maintain against the feeble calling of the girl chained in a warehouse.

You can still be saved, Hopeite. You can still purify. It’s not too late.

Ah, but it was, didn’t Harmonia see? Even if Hopeite wanted to purify, she couldn’t. What would happen to her when she did? Would the negaverse know who she would become? And besides that, they knew who she was behind the uniform. If she defected, she’d be killed. They knew her face. They knew where she lived.

Even if she wanted to, it wasn’t an option.

But Harmonia kept offering it, weak as she was. She kept telling Hopeite how she could save her. All of her connections and her friends on the other side who would help her.

But even if she wanted to, who on the other side would want to save her? With all of this blood on her hands and her soul? Even if she wanted to, she was too soaked through with innocent blood to be able to call the other side home. Even if she wanted to, they wouldn’t want her.

Even if she wanted to.

She didn’t want to.

Hopeite steered herself deeper into the darkness of the night, her pace quickening as though to outrun the voice of her prisoner begging not for her own freedom, but for Hopeite’s salvation. Begging that Hopeite save herself. Did Harmonia even want to make it out alive? Did she care if she did or she didn’t? She had to, on some level, but she wasn’t presenting that level to Hopeite. Instead, it was all about Hopeite’s salvation.

You can still be saved, Hopeite. You can still purify. It’s not too late.

Even if she wanted to, good luck finding someone who would help. Once word got out how terrible Hopeite had been to Harmonia, there was no way anyone would want to help. Who would want a monster on their side? And even if she wanted to, there was no guarantee that Harmonia meant a single breath of it. Maybe this was the level of self-preservation that Harmonia was presenting.

Even if…

She wanted to…

There was no way.

Hopeite wonders why Harmonia was so quick to forgive her
Ponders the nature of forgiveness
Talks to chaos and order alike about this feeling

Without really realizing it, Abbot understands that she either dies or purifies.
Begins powering back up and poking around in secret about purification under the guise of research for the negaverse.

Abbot begins setting her affairs in order
Sells shop to an order contact in case she loses civilian memories.

Solo in which Hopeite mentally prepares to call on Camelot for salvation

What was Lourdes doing? She was no athlete, that much was clear by the state of her uniform. Pristine, glittering, and perfect. Not a single rumple, rip, or tear, not a single pleat or pearl out of alignment. Lourdes was, in every sense of the phrase, not built for physicality. Not in body and not in dress. Hell, her planet was the planet of love. Of luxury. Her wonder had been a respite for the weary, not some sweaty gross obstacle course. And yet, there was was, standing at the base of a tree, looking up into its branches at the pods that had yet to be nibbled by creatures and insects because that was what the mysterious merchant was requesting for... whatever reason.

And Lourdes would for sure be revistiting if she even trusted that man... creature... being... later. BEcause she knew that she didn't, but she also wasn't sure what that meant for her possible trade. Other knights had been talking about the wonders that they had traded various trinkets for. Things that he couldn't possibly have. Things that they didn't even know were important until they saw them and then... it was like a switch had been flipped and suddenly they needed it.

It got Lourdes curious. What might he have for Lourdes, of anything?

Doubt lingered in her mind even as Lourdes looked up and up and up into the branches, seeking out an untouched pod. One after another, she flipped the pods on the ground over, only to find that they either rattled as they shifted or were pockmarked by other insects. Which was… not ideal. Not ideal because it meant…

Lourdes lifted her eyes up to the branches and groaned. Yeah… not ideal…

At least, she tried to encourage herself, there were plenty of low hanging branches upon which she could latch as she made her ascension. And even though she tried to avoid just such adventures, she was also very aware of how limiting her uniform was, and always had tools in subspace to help her. Scissors to cut a slit up the thigh of her skirt, allowing her to hike up her legs. Flats in the same color as her heels so that she could walk easier. Magic seemed to keep her blessedly free from blisters and aching feet, but it didn’t make her any better at running or working in those shoes. And though she knew that it had to be done, and though she knew that upon her next power up, her uniform would return to pristine perfection, Lourdes still lamented the ruination of her beautiful Venusian dress as she cut into it. Her heart always sank a little whenever she had to do it.

But now, she was ready, and she had to remember that. This was for a reason, not simple mutilation. That reminder did a little to ease the ache in her heart and the feeling that she had somehow betrayed herself.

The bark cut into her hands even through her gloves first thing as she gripped the lowest branch, and she was reminded that her hands were more used to grasping softer things. Even as she worked on renovating her house, the softness of her palms remained. The bite made her draw her hands away for a moment. She braced and tried again, doing her best to ignore the sting in her hands as she hoisted herself up onto the first branch.

Thank god for magical strengths, because Lourdes was not sure she’d be able to do this if she wasn’t assisted.

Once firmly straddling the branch, Lourdes took stock of the boughs around her. None of them had seed pods, or at least none that were uneaten. This low and this clear from the gentle shielding of leaves, the seed pods were easy pickings for insects and small animals. And so, up she went again, hissing this time as the sting turned to a burn while bark bit into already tender flesh. Once she was seated again, she gazed for a moment at her poor, swollen, abused hands. She’d need a manicure after this… No. She deserved a manicure after this. A manicure and a coffee. A manicure and lunch. Yeah. A whole afternoon of pampering.

She reached up again, climbing still another level higher and into the halo of dappled green that protected the higher seed pods. Some of them bounced against the side of her face, smearing sticky sap against her skin. Which was, she supposed, the exact last straw, because she jerked violently to the side, making a disgusted sound, and nearly lost her grip on the branch. She was saved only because she dug her nails into the bark, shredding them in the process, and tightened her legs around the branch she was straddling. She even pitched forward, wrapping her arms around it was well, koala-hugging the branch in the most undignified way. She glanced down to make sure no one could see her…

And as though to prove a point, Lourdes snatched the offending pod from the branch and tossed it into subspace with a petulant little humph. As though she could teach the pod a lesson by doing so.

Lourdes allowed herself a moment to feel smug and triumphant, wiggling in celebration from her perch in her best facsimile of a dance, before she realized a fairly horrible truth.

She needed to get down.

Who would have thought that that part of the adventure would be harder than getting up into the tree in the first place?

She leaned forward again, returning to her koala-hug and took a deep breath, steeling herself to swing her leg over the branch and search blindly for the branch below her.

Which was exactly as scary as Lourdes thought it would be. Scary because not only did she have to trust without being able to see that she was properly footed on the branch, but also because for several terrifying seconds, she was suspended only between aching hands and the soles of her feet. She was hanging, practically freely, in mid air. It made her breath stutter in her lung and shut her eyes. If she panicked now, it was all over. She’d fall.

That was not an option.

She was not going to the hospital as a grown woman who fell out of a tree searching for a seed pod for a mysterious alien shopkeeper.

She was not going to be doing that.

Instead, she took a deep breath and released her hands and swooped down as fast as possible, grabbing onto the branch beneath her as she crouched, and then settled into another straddle. She was almost down. Just one more level to descend and then she never had to get back into another tree ever again. The same process one more time, and then she could just drop onto solid earth.

It wasn’t less terrifying this time, and made even worse by the prospect of being nearly done. It made Lourdes want to hurry. Made her shiver with anticipation of being finally done with this whole stupid adventure.

She was crouched and gripping the branch when something flew by her face with a cosmically loud BUZZ. She may have screamed, Lourdes wasn’t sure. What she was sure about was that she released her grip on the brush in favor of flapping her hands in front of her face, which was… not the best plan. With her concentration broken and her footing already tenuous at best, Lourdes pitched to the side and was suddenly… falling.

Not.

Ideal.

The ground met her without cushion and for a moment she lay in the grass, staring up at the tree above her. Staring at the beetle that had flown by her burrow into a seedpod and vanish.

Whatever she got from this stupid merchant had better be worth it.