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 Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 3:04 pm
"Good," Heidi smiled. She lifted her head to kiss his chin. "If there's any way I can help just name it, okay? I don't like seeing you like this, s'not right."
For the moment Heidi was content to simply bask in Tuck's presence, a hand pressed to his chest with her palm over his head, her head on his shoulder with her face nestled comfortably in the crook of his neck where it met with his shoulder. He was warm, and he was very comfortable
His words surprised her, and not in an entirely pleasant way.
Why did Nevada get to know? She wanted to know, not because she wanted him to relive it but because she just..she wanted to know everything about him, she wanted to know what scared Tuck so she could protect him from his fears.
That wasn't fair.
"Why can't you sleep?" Now she was jealous of Nevada.
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Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 3:37 pm
He'd half-hoped that she'd ask. He wanted to tell her, he just wasn't sure how. It wasn't a pleasant recollection, monsters in the dark as a child, sure - but the dream was different. The dream felt entirely too real. It wasn't something that was easy to talk about.
"I got this dream. You ever have one of those dreams that's repeating? It's like that, but only when I sleep alone. And it ain't really a dream, either, but more like. A repeat of something that happened."
Tuck shifted in his seat.
"It's like livin' it all over again, every time I sleep, so I just don't sleep no more. Not alone, anyway." He was stalling, and he knew it, but he also knew that Heidi deserved to know.
"I was in the desert in Afghanistan. We were all sittin' around - me, JJ, Sherman, Big Sexy. Dollface, Hoolio. We weren't on some special mission or anything, just sent out to scout some strange activity. I was harassin' the guys, makin' a video that I could send back to Gnat. It was just a normal night for us." He cleared his throat. "Suddenly we hear this noise, like.. it was like wings. Real big wings, real loud. And then it got quiet."
Tuck closed his eyes and kept talking.
"Next thing I know JJ's head is on the ground and his body ain't connected to it. There's black feathers everywhere. We all ran. I was the only one who made it. I didn't go back to my company. I just ran until I couldn't run no more, and then I ran again. All the way to Kabul, an' I thought about endin' it right then an' there. I got recruited instead."
He turned and glanced down at Heidi, his eyes seeking hers.
"That's why I can't sleep. Every time I do an' I'm alone, I see it all over again. Can't wake up til it's over. Least when I'm awake I can find somethin' else to do to occupy myself. But when I sleep it's like I'm trapped there until it's all over."
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Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 4:38 pm
"That's not healthy, Tuck. You have to sleep." Heidi quietly admonished, the hand on his chest idly rubbing in slow circles while he talked. She couldn't help but giggle at 'Big Sexy' and 'Dollface', the names were funny to her. They earned those names, right? Part of her was curious how. It was a cute story until he mentioned wings. Heidi had no idea what that possibly could've been other than..a really huge bird or something.
Her eyes widened when he kept going. Her hand balled up into a tight fist and grasped the front of his shirt. She didn't know where Kabul was. Was it far from where he had been? He'd been alone?
Oh god, Tuck.
She wasn't sure what to say at first. What could she say to that? I'm sorry didn't seem proper. He wanted her to know everything about him just as much as she wanted to know, if he hadn't wanted to tell her he wouldn't have. Heidi couldn't imagine what it was like to be trapped in a dream like that. The worst she had ever experienced with her shadows had been just noises that kept her awake at night. She slept fine now that she was here, though she did occasionally still twitch and get frightened by anything that resembled a spider. It wasn't as bad as the first night, or the second, but it was still there.
That was the worst she had to deal with. It was nothing compared to his problem.
Heidi was never letting him sleep alone again if she could help it.
She hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry." Heidi whispered. She didn't know what else to say. I'll never let you sleep alone again. You need to sleep. It's okay you did the right thing if you hadn't you wouldn't be here. It's not your fault. You did what you had to. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry. None of it seemed enough. Thank you for not killing yourself.
He'd been all alone running in the desert while his friends were picked off one by one by something. Heidi couldn't imagine what that was like. She sniffed and looked away, rubbing at one of her eyes. Tuck. "I..I can't even..." She looked up again and reached up to cup his face in her hands, pulling Tuck in close to press her forehead against his, her eyes closed. "I won't let you relive that anymore, okay? I promise. Even if I'm not around a-and it happens just...come find me, and hold me, and don't let go. It doesn't matter what I'm doing. Interrupt anything. I don't care. Okay?" She opened her eyes to find Tuck's again. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, Tuck. But...but I'm glad you're here, and you're alive, and you're with me."
Heidi paused, suddenly blushing. "Oh god that came out wrong I'm so sorry that was really selfish of me oh geeze.."
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Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 4:48 pm
"I'm pretty sure it was some kinda horseman or somethin', I don't know."
He fell silent after that, allowing Heidi to maneuver him however she liked. It was just.. there was something so calming knowing that he had someone that he could rely on, someone that was his and only his and the only label that could be applied was a simple 'mine' - she was his, and he was hers, and things wouldn't change between this day and the next. It wasn't complex. It was too pure and simple to be anything remotely close to complex.
He hadn't known it, but this, what he had with Heidi - it was exactly what he'd needed.
Tuck gave her a tired grin and kissed Heidi's forehead.
"Ain't selfish. An' I promise I will. Ain't plannin' on lettin' you sleep on your own much anyways. You're my girl now, an' that means you're stuck with me."
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Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 5:39 pm
Her eyes closed briefly as Tuck kissed her forehead, opening again when he spoke. She grinned. "I'm your girl," Heidi agreed with a giggle, leaning in to brush her lips against Tuck's. "And you're my man." Boy didn't seem to suit him, he wasn't a boy. "Oh no~. Stuck with an awesome guy who spoils me and showers me in affection. Whatever shall I do," Heidi gasped quietly and looked up at Tuck with mock horror. He had opened up to her, it had no doubt been incredibly painful for him, and so now she was going to do everything in her power to cheer him up. She reached over and tugged a cookie out from under the large slice of cake she had taken, offering it up to Tuck. "Thank you, by the way. For being honest." She smiled again. "Everything will work out~. Do you feel better?"
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Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 5:51 pm
Tuck chuckled at Heidi's antics. "You put it that way an' you startin' to sound real lucky to have me," he grinned and took the cookie from her before taking a massive bite out of the thing. He chewed and nodded in response to her question, swallowing before speaking. "I do. I always want us to be honest with one another, y'know? I feel like I can be honest with you." Tuck gave her a kiss, soft and gentle on her lips. "Also helps knowin' that I got you."
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Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 6:15 pm
"I feel like I am," came Heidi's honest answer, a huge grin on her face as she gazed up at her boyfriend. She didn't feel like second place but knowing Nevada had wanted to be with Tuck did make her more grateful to have him than she'd already been. He was hers, only hers. "The luckiest."Heidi grabbed a cookie for herself, eyeing it and then the cake slice. She dipped it in the frosting and then ate the cookie. Delicious. "I'm always honest, and you can tell me anything. You know that--" He kissed her and she readily returned it, smiling against Tuck's lips until he ended it to speak. "Yeah, you've got me."She nibbled on her cookie and hummed, a thoughtful little sound. And then suddenly she was blushing, clearing her throat and finishing the cookie in one big bite. "So..you slept with Nevada..." Heidi pursed her lips a moment. "Have you...slept with a lot of women?"Matilda stirred in the back of Heidi's mind. There was an unhappy feeling coming from the banshee.
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Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 10:47 pm
Tuck hadn't been expecting that question. He really hadn't, not from Heidi. He wasn't going to lie, though. There was no reason to. "On the island? Two. Nevada an' Candace." He wiped a little bit of frosting off of the corner of her mouth, brushing it off on his jeans. "Off the island, two, both while I was in college." Tuck cleared his throat. "Is that a lot?"
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Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2013 1:18 am
Oh! That was it? Heidi smiled. "The off-island number is fewer than I expected. Not that I that you were some kind of man-ho, just thought the number would be higher." Heidi scratched at her cheek, her face hot pink. "I was just...thinking.." about being jealous. "I gave you permission to um.. touch me the other day and...you didn't take the opportunity." Heidi blinked. "Why?"
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Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2013 7:32 am
"I was way too busy with college an' football to sleep around too much," he chuckled softly, falling silent as he contemplated the question Heidi asked. Tuck took note of the pinkness of her cheeks, his brows knitting. "Because I don't want you to think that I'm some kinda fiend. I want you, Heidi. I really want you. But I think bein' a virgin for girls is a lot different than bein' a virgin for boys. It ain't a big deal, least it wasn't to me. It felt too good to be scared or anxious about." Ramble, ramble. "I figure one day we can just. See what you like and what you don't. In private, off island. Don't mean I ain't gonna touch you between now an' then."
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Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2013 10:55 am
"Well that's because it usually hurts the first time," Heidi shrugged, tucking her head under his chin. "I wouldn't think you were a fiend if I was asking for it." Because she did..kind of want to try things.. Heidi cleared her throat and ate another cookie. Stalling. She wanted to try it but it felt weird to talk about it. "I want you, too.." Heidi peered up at him. "I mean I'm not...asking for sex but I do like you..er...touching me.." Heidi shoved the whole cookie in her mouth. Just forget she'd said anything. She wa being awkward. Heidi picked up the plate to swipe a bit of frosting off the cake on the tip of her finger. "When I leave stuff here where can I keep it? In a drawer?" New subject was new. If he wanted to wait until they were off island that was fine. It wasn't as if she would die without intimacy, it was too new for her to be terribly bothered. "You can leave stuff in my room too if you want."
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Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2013 11:09 am
Tuck mumbled something that sounded kind of like, "Not if you do it right," before clearing his throat, "You said keep it above the hips an' I had my hand on your stomach - an' if you ain't figured it out yet, sweetheart, I like talkin' about this stuff. I like knowin'. If you don't tell me, I can't know what you want, or how far you want to go, or what you like an' what you don't like. An' if you want to touch me, just do it. It might seem strange or weird or awkward to you, but it ain't - not to me, at least. An'," Tuck paused and lifted an eyebrow, "We're the only ones who matter. Nobody else. You an' me." He grunted at her topic change, but he allowed it. "Consider this whole room yours. Put your stuff wherever you want. I got some briefs an' socks an' jeans an' shirts in that dresser there, just move it all around to make room for yourself."
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Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2013 11:22 am
Oh, right..she did say keep it above the hips. She just blushed more when Tuck made it clear he was perfectly okay with and actually wanted to talk about it. "I've never had a reason to uh..discuss this, so it's...new to me." Heidi lifted her head when Tuck told her to just touch him if be wanted her to touch him. She looked down at her frosting-covered finger; originally Heidi had been planning on eating it herself, but she changed her mind as she held the finger up to Tuck in offering.
"I know we're all that matters.." Heidi pursed her lips. "I do want to touch you.." She blushed even more. He wanted honesty. She cleared her throat and sat up straight. "I have a really hot boyfriend I want to touch him because he's mine and I can. And I don't have to share him with anyone.." Tuck was her boyfriend. No one else's.
Oh god did I really just say that out loud?!
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Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2013 11:37 am
"This is new to me, too," Tuck eyed that frosting covered finger before he reached out to loosely encircle her wrist with his fingers. He drew her hand to his lips and ate the frosting from her skin, lightly dragging his teeth along the pad of her finger. And then he burst into laughter. How was it even humanly possible for one person to be so ******** adorable. "Preach it, baby. An' I ain't sharin', neither." Tuck kissed her finger before lacing his fingers through hers. He was still smiling, all white teeth and dimples. She was pretty much perfect, and she was his, and that thought caused him to grin even broader. "You're awful cute when you blush."
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Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2013 11:49 am
Heidi wasn't entirely sure what she had been expecting, but it definitely hadn't been something that would make her stomach twist in knots and that for a moment she would forget how to breathe. Her eyes were wide as she watched Tuck's mouth, her heart pounding so hard she could hear it in her head.
The laughter brought her back down to earth. It startled her, and it definitely was not the response she had been hoping for. A breathy chuckle involuntarily escaped her while he laughed. God, he had the best smile. "What?" Oh. Words. Right. "Well it's a good thing you like it since you do it to me so often," Heidi said quietly.
Finally she found her voice again. "Kiss me."
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