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 Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 9:10 am
Melisande watched him pass, suddenly feeling a twist of guilt. She was being cold, she knew she was...she'd hardly said more than two words at a time to him. She didn't begrudge a bee its stinger. Why was she holding a Demon's nature against him?
Images of Roux flashed back at her, so fast and clear that she squeezed her eyes shut. His nature was dangerous, that was why. It wasn't even herself she feared for. The way Zul kept his distance, so carefully...every gentle gesture, the low thrum of his voice...all of it told her clearly that she wouldn't come to harm. But with Roux gone...who would be next?
The guilt pinched at her again. She was less concerned about those she was putting in danger than she was getting into the Lab, it seemed. If she was a good person, a truly good person, she would dedicate herself to keeping Zul at peace instead of using him to dig at old wounds. Tears gathered in Melisande's eyes as she realized that, and she lowered her head, following the other Sigel silently through the garden. She owed him for this, even if repayment was saving him from himself.
"I've never been to this part of the Lab." Pasha confided, as they passed the first glass door. "I..." With obvious difficulty, she raised her head, meeting his eyes. Her face was almost white, making the petal stuck to her cheek seem surprisingly pink. "Thank you, Zul."
He motioned for silence, and Melisande nodded once, following him inside.
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Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 10:57 pm
He didn't note her inward turmoil, for he was far too concentrated on the task at hand (and ignoring his own upset, as it were), but he did not miss the way her eyes seemed to glimmer with unshed tears, nor the way her very skin seemed to become porcelain when near by. Zul's eyes flickered away at her gratitude, misunderstanding her difficulty in conversation and taut appearance as being a byproduct of his presence. As such, he could do little more than dip his head and press into the cafeteria, holding the door open for her and letting it whisper shut once she was securely within.
Their passage was silent and lacked note by any within the Lab, the demon taking care to watch the door at the hallway for Zeke's presence before letting them out of the cafeteria and almost immediately into Alex's office across from it.
It was Tsu's old room, but it looked nothing like when the man and Zavier had once occupied it; it was clean, minimalist but was personal, photographs Alex had taken lining the walls and pictures of the woman, her brother and himself dotting the desk. There were small sculptures and low, round pots of her creation as well, and as he crossed the office to her desk, he felt a small pang of concern. He'd come here to see her, after all.
Zul knew exactly where the spare key was for the file cabinet that stood harmlessly amidst some drawers and a potted plant, untaping it from the middle drawer of the desk and holding it up briefly for Melisande to see. "A moment," he murmured softly before turning to the cabinet and deftly sliding key into place and opening it halfway. Thumbing through the folders within - those that were dead or as good as such - he paused when his fingers ghosted over the name he sought. This was it. This was what Melisande wanted. As he pulled the ordinary cream-colored folder from its place, he noted another key taped to the back of it.
Floating to Melisande, he paused abruptly, looking at her as if he just realized she was there and quickly floated backwards, slightly appalled at his own seeming comfort in approach when it was clearly not wanted. He put the folder on the desk before carefully removing the key attached to the back of it. "There you are," he said in the same soft voice, eyeing the key thoughtfully. "Just one more piece to the puzzle..."
And floating away from the desk so she might approach, he looked around the room and made his way towards one of the more inconspicuous file cabinets that was deeper and less used. It was the only one in the office that matched the key size, and giving Melisande her privacy to pour over whatever she desired, he 'kneeled' and began to unlock that cabinet.
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Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 7:43 am
Melisande followed, ghosting silently behind him. That was how she felt, like a ghost...like a relic of a time past, like a memory.
The room was clean, dotted with pictures of Zul and people she didn't recognize. There was a woman in the photographs, and her eyes flicked to the other Sigel briefly. His woman. She'd assumed he'd meant...his love...but the woman was human, and there was no romance in the frames. Could she be his guardian?
She focused as he produced a key, and floated back to give him room. Suddenly, her heart was beating fast, and tiny specks of light began to swim through her vision. The lock snicked open, and Pasha's little fists relaxed. Zul whispered patience, but the Muse did not wish to wait. She wanted...something.
Anything.
Not just anything. A voice in her whispered. She knew what she truly wanted. Melisande hadn't dared allow herself to hope, but she knew what she wished to see Zul pull from that drawer. As he turned, Pasha started forward, need overriding her fear. Coming up against the Demon though, face to face, was just as startling for her as it was for him. She pulled back, even as Zul did. He held a file folder, flat and pale, and her heart almost broke at the sight of it.
It wasn't here. Zavier wasn't here.
She was transfixed by the folder on the desk, so much so that she barely noted Zul removing the key. It wasn't what she'd wanted, but it had to be enough. It was all she had. Reaching forward with one delicate, trembling hand, Melisande opened the file, and her tears finally fell.
It started with a picture.
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Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 11:44 pm
Zul focused on the task at hand, selecting one of the drawers -- and when it didn't work, checking the second -- smiling to himself as he felt the satisfying click of the lock sliding out of place. Pulling open the metal drawer, his smile faltered and faded around the edges, dark brows lofting in mild confusion as he sorted through the contents: plastic bags mostly, some in manilla envelopes, names scrawled on in black sharpie. Some names he recognized, some he didn't, and he was about to close the drawer when he noted a small envelope at the bottom of the pile. Plucking it from the bowels of the baggies, he was grimly rewarded with Zavier's name. He didn't even have to open it to know what was inside, the weight and distinct edge of the contents clear to him between his fingers.
The Sigel's expression tightened. This was more concrete, this was something tangible, and if she was seeking something of Zavier's remains...was it sentimental? Would it make things more difficult between them, even on a friendly level?
Almost immediately, he berated himself for such selfish thoughts. Even with his self-serving desire to have her look upon him with warmth, he knew he'd do almost anything to chase those shadows from her eyes. Sighing softly, he closed the drawer and relocked it, floating upright again, looking at the simple envelope in his hand. So, this was how it would be.
"Melisande," he murmured softly, turning to face her.
Abruptly, his heart seized and his chest ached in the most weighted manner, the sheer force of it pulling Zul towards Melisande as though by gravity. He could see her tears, he could practically taste them on the air, tearing at him in a way he didn't understand. His lips parted but he didn't know what words he could possibly speak; his advanced stalled and then stopped, knowing he couldn't just wrap his arms around her in comfort. Even if he had her blessing, he couldn't, he didn't want to stain her with his touch. And so, rather than being able to do what he knew and be of comfort in such a trying time, he could only float there in awkward stasis, his ribbon twisting with the inches he floated forward, only to float back. He'd never been more unsure of what to do, and it was at the worst possible time.
Realizing he was twisting the envelope in his hands, he tried to ground himself and press the item against the desk, sliding it towards Melisande without any closer approach. He fiddled with one of his armbands for a moment, pulling out what looked to be a chain and a ring from one of the buckled portions, deftly removing the ring attached and tucking it onto his pinky. Hesitating -- he didn't think she'd accept, and he didn't really blame her -- he also slid the chain over to her, and then floated further back still, giving her space when it was the last thing he wanted to do.
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 11:27 am
She turned a page carefully, as though the file contained pages of an old book that were delicate and worn. The Muse didn't bother wiping the tears...they left shining trails down her pale cheeks, petals and tears dotting the surface of the desk. Very little of the information made any sense to her, but she read it anyway, trailing her fingers across Zavier's name. Hearing her name, spoken so gently by Zul, startled her. Melisande raised her head, more petals falling. Her eyes were startlingly blue against her pale skin, magnified by her sadness. Lashes lowering, she watched him slide something across the desk. An envelope. She reached out and touched it gently, noting the way the creases in the paper veined through Zavier's name. "He told me he was going away for a while." She said, voice pitched softly as though she confessed something to the other Sigel. Melisande pulled the envelope closer with her fingertips, sliding it across the desk slowly. "He said...I would be his star. Always shining, so he wouldn't be lost."Pasha left the chain, but picked up the envelope as it reached the edge of the desk. She felt the weight of it, fingers outlining the object within as the other Sigel had. "He asked me to wait." She lifted her eyes again to Zul, and true sorrow crumpled Melisande's tear streaked face. For the first time, the Muse's voice broke, and she tightened her hand around what was still hidden in the envelope. "He asked me, and I promised. I don't know what else to do!"She gasped back a sob, and dropped her gaze back to the envelope, though she could barely see through the tears. The true heart of her pain, and she'd laid it bare for only Zul to see. How long did you wait, before you gave up on the one you loved? How did you forgive yourself, when you failed to guide them home again? She ripped open the envelope, tearing through Zavier's name written in thick black marker, and let the object slide onto her open, trembling hand.
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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 2:38 pm
The demon had ripped the dead out of the living, he'd come to malicious intent with one of his best friends and he'd killed a Raevan without hesitation, but he'd never faced something that was as difficult or that hurt him as badly as watching Melisande cry.
Zul could no more deny the pull of female's sadness than he could deny that gravity kept him tethered to the ground, and despite his best efforts, he floated closer, breath by breath. Her words, soft and flighty as they were, weighed upon him heavily. He wondered if he might have helped Zavier then, if he'd known Melisande and her feelings for him then? The Sigel had no idea what he'd gotten himself into, helping the other as he was, and it seemed his 'help' had only destroyed both of them. The very notion was dark and nagging, but he pressed it aside for now. Destructive he might be, but he couldn't just stop trying, not when her tears yet fell.
"He told me he needed to go beyond the storm," he said almost as quiet as she, "that he...needed answers." As Melisande was at the edge of the desk, he was near his woman's chair halfway across, closer with each word. "He did what he had to for peace of mind, and I believe he succeeded."
Shy of arm's reach, he stopped his advance, fingers resting against the top of the desk and aching to extend to her. "I didn't know him, but in our brief meeting, he...saw what few do." Zul's smile was brief, a flicker of nostalgia in his gaze. "I do know - from that alone, I know he was kind, and he would move the sky itself if he knew the pain you were in." It was here he hesitated. It was a fine line between trying to comfort Melisande and his own beliefs on the matter. "I...don't believe he'd wish you a lifetime of pain for his absence. He wouldn't want his askance to be chains that bind you. Like any who meet you, I believe he'd wish only for your smile and happiness."
This time, he kept his gaze upon her face, swallowing the hurt it caused him to see her as fragmented as she was. "Perhaps he's your star, now."
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Posted: Thu Aug 01, 2013 10:16 pm
Pasha didn't seem like she was listening, as she gazed at the ring resting on her palm, but she was. She hung on each of Zul's words hoping there was an answer within them, tears still silently falling. The Muse raised her head only as he finished, the sentiment of her star striking her deeply.
She held Zul's eyes for a long, silent minute. Finally, her fingers closed around the precious artifact and she dropped her gaze to the chain resting on the desk. Slowly, she reached for it with her free hand, pulling it towards her. The links whispered against the corner as it spilled off the edge, and Melisande twined the length up delicately around her fingers.
It was something...but it wasn't what she came for. Not truly. Pasha slid the ring onto the chain and pinched the ends between her fingers, gathering up her wild curls high against her head as she turned her back slowly to the Demon.
"Can you...melt it together for me?" Her little voice hitched in the middle, face hidden. Melisande had pulled the chain short enough that, once fused, it wouldn't have enough slack to pull off over her head.
Pale curls still rested against the back of her slender neck, despite the way she held her hair up. The Sigel's shoulders jumped the slightest bit, either in nervousness or with quiet tears, head bowed.
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Posted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:53 am
This was not at all what he'd intended. He had hoped to give Melisande some peace and to perhaps show he wasn't all killer as she might have viewed him; now, he found himself under her request to bind herself to her lost love, perhaps forever. Had he just squashed her affection towards Rivener? Had he made things worse?
Zul was never one to not have answers, but he found himself with an abundance of questions that had no solution, making him feel heavy again. The demon tipped his head in acknowledgement, even if she couldn't see him, floating to her turned back. Even in her sadness, she was grace; the delicate bow of her neck and the contained chaos of her curls were beautiful. Lifting his arms, he delicately took the pinched length of chain without so much as brushing her fingers with one hand, the other delicately brushing her stray strands of pale gold hair away from the necklace. As the unfamiliar darkness of inadequacy tightened his lips and chest, he couldn't help but feel like he was collaring her to a past that might ensure a lonesome future. "As you wish," he murmured softly, and in a split second, the metal was heated and cooled to its new form. Withdrawing his fingers from the necklace, he noted the small tag that had formed from the sealing; in some twist of irony, he could see his fingerprint in the tag, forever etched there.
He was lingering, he knew, but her sadness was palpable and called to him in a way he could hardly refuse. The hand that scarcely touched her hair slowly drew downwards, his fingers ghosting over the small hairs on her neck, almost touching -- almost reaching for that light he knew he could not hold. Zul felt an ache in him that he could not explain: where her presence made him feel both full of warmth and at peace, her situation left him feeling gutted, empty as though her presence had withdrawn to leave only her memories. "I hope you will find the love in your heart to be another's guiding light," he murmured, still far too close, "to find your happiness in those who adore you. You can still be his star and be another's world, Melisande. Perhaps you already are."
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Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 4:21 pm
Pasha let the ring fall against her chest, and pressed one hand over it, flattening it against her skin. It would be a familiar weight soon, she knew, but for now it felt strange and heavy.
She let her curls fall, and turned to face the Demon. The ring rested perfectly in the V of the undone button, glinting dully against her pale skin. "Thank you." Whether she was thanking him for the action or the words wasn't clear, and she didn't clarify. Instead, she searched his eyes for a moment before speaking again.
"Is there anything else?" She was asking a hard question. Her voice didn't shake, but it was layered deeply. "Somewhere hidden, somewhere deeper in the lab? Did the Doctor recapture his essence? Or his..." This time, her voice did waver, and she closed her hand around the ring.
"...soul?" He could get in trouble for even discussing what she was asking, she assumed, much less giving her what she was asking for. Pasha watched his face carefully for his genuine reaction, ready to find her own way in if he refused her or deflected.
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Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 5:03 pm
When the deed was done, Zul felt like he hadn't helped her at all, but instead bound her to her sadness in a more permanent manner. Exhaling slowly through his nose, he withdrew from her yet turned back and began to gather the files again, preparing to put everything back where it belonged.
Her voice again drew his attention and gave him pause in what he was doing, his eyes turning to hers. The demon could not fathom how she could go from tears and heartache to such conviction all on her own, quietly damning whatever had happened in her life to take away her ability to rely on others. Zul knew the answer, however, and with a shake of his head, he slowly tapped the folder on the desk to even out the papers within. "My woman poured over all his files, all the information available on the fel essences, spoke to the doctor at length. There was nothing to be done for it."
He turned his blue eyes on the desk, unable to look into the eyes that longed for answers from a love long gone. It was too painful to see. "The essence lived out its existence once freed, and the soul...is gone." Zul's bone wings folded in against his back, almost in a guarded manner. "You saw what happened to Roux." And he'd seen it happen to his friends, to strangers -- he never held hope that they remained. He knew what he saw with his own eyes. Zul didn't mean to hurt her, but to gently remind her that she already knew the answer.
"I'm sorry I could not give you what you sought."
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Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:40 pm
The pain of it was physical. She parted her lips to protest, to cry, to ask him to look again, anything, but the lump in her throat was too great to speak past. The Muse wanted him to be lying, just to hurt her...anything was better than this being the truth. It was the true reason she'd come, and all of her desperate plans were vanishing like daydreams.Tears welled again and spilled without so much as a blink as she stared at his profile.
It was like having her heart broken all over again. Did Demons feed on pain? She distantly wondered. Perhaps some good could come of this, somehow.
She was being ridiculous. He was not lying, and it was obvious Zul took no pleasure from her pain. As much as she might wish to, she could find no purchase against him, nothing to hate, nothing to blame. Even the mention of Roux failed to mitigate her misery with anger.
The Demon was innocent in this.
"Thank you." She repeated barely above a whisper, and for one moment settled her fingertips upon the curve of his shoulder before she turned and slowly left the Lab.
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