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He wasn't sure how long he'd slept for, but by the time he woke up Tuck was feeling marginally better. Like... the margin was almost microscopic. He'd groggily opened his eyes an hour ago - he knew this for a fact because the glaringly red numbers of his alarm clock had boasted the fact - and Tuck had been semi-aware of a smaller, warm body pressed to his.

It was nice.

He'd fallen back asleep, of course, the combination of bedmate and illness making sleep much easier to find.

With a wheezing groan and the snuffles of someone truly congested, Tuck pulled a few long strands of hair out of his mouth and glanced down at Nevada. Despite how shitty he felt, the sight of her caused him to smile - until he started coughing.

He did his best not to cough in her face.

He groggily pulled away from her blanketed hand with a loud wheeze.

"You snore."

Tuck was probably laughing at her.

"Your sister sick too?"

Damn, she was evil when she was sick. Tuck decided his best option was to surrender, and so he stopped wiggling and merely laid there in bed, slowly suffocating to death under Nevada's ministrations.

He was also kind of laughing, a stuffy, congested sound.

"I'm dead," Tuck assured Nevada, just in case she was wondering, "an' you probably right. I probably do snore louder, an' even if I didn't I'm feelin' way too weak to argue with you."

He sounded pretty pathetic. And not really dead or smothered, try as she might.

Who was Heidi?

Aw, <********.. ain't real sure what Heidi is to me, yet. We ain't really talked about it." Tuck rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and cleared his throat. Heidi was his friend, his bro, but it was more than that. What he felt towards her wasn't sisterly, like what he felt towards Stormy - or hell, even his own sister. It was different. Way, way, way different.

"She slept over a few times. Kissed." Tuck shifted in the bed. "She's uh. Y'know." He squinted over at Nevada. His next words were filled with a mixture of terror and horror.

"A virgin."

Was it weird to talk about this s**t with a woman he'd slept with? It ******** felt weird.

It felt really ******** weird.

"I ain't got a clue how she thinks of me, and I ain't sure how to bring it up." Was he yelling? He felt like he was yelling. This was ******** awkward as s**t.

"Anyway, uh." Tuck cleared his throat. "That's who Heidi is. She's real friendly. You'd probably like her."

Yes he was totally blushing.

Tuck groaned, loudly, and mashed his pillow against his face. His voice was muffled when he spoke. "I'm serious, but I don't think she is. I can't tell. She's younger'n I am, and like." He was frowning against the pillowcase. "Innocent an' s**t."

He was quiet for a long time.

"I never meant to hurt you, neither. All this s**t with Roland, my fault. But at the same time, I ain't got no regrets. Until I figure out things with Heidi, I don't want you to feel like you ain't welcome here because you are."

More silence.

"Just ain't got a clue what to do about s**t, with Heidi, you know?"

There was something going on that Tuck didn't like, something that didn't set well with him. They'd never sat and discussed the relationship they had with one another, so truthfully he shouldn't feel bad.

He did anyway. Tuck felt bad, and nothing Nevada was saying made him feel any better. Friends first, it was what she'd said - and maybe now that Alaska was back she didn't have time for him, or maybe there was someone else she wanted to spend time with.

Or maybe he was just thinking that way to make himself feel better about everything.

"What do you mean, distractions?" Tuck groggily narrowed his eyes. "I spent time with you before I spent time with Heidi, an' ... you know, I ain't even sure what you want from me. I put everythin' in your hands. Just like I did with her. An' yeah, we always gonna be friends, but.. what do you want?"

Tuck felt like everything was snowballing out of control faster than he could stop it. It seemed like they both didn't know what they wanted - how easy would it be for him to tell her to stop, to tell her to stay, to hold her close to his chest until they felt better so that the careless words would stop pouring from their lips.

He moved quickly to take her hand as she reached back to take her penguin, holding her captive for just a moment longer. Just enough for him to round up his thoughts, even just a little so that he could say what he wanted to say so that she felt safer. He'd never meant to make her feel terrified about having control of their relationship - but he had given her control, put the choices in her hands - and she was making a choice, right here and right now.

"You're special to me," he started carefully, tracing his thumb along her knuckles. "An' if you want to go, I ain't gonna make you stay. I.. I just wanna let you know that you're special. To me. An' if you want to stay, that's okay too, Nevada. Never gonna make you do what you don't want."

Was he babbling? It felt like it. He released her hand.

He didn't say anything else to Nevada before she left. Tuck didn't reach out, keep her there with him. He could have. He wanted to. Instead, he kept quiet until he was alone, and then Tuck fell back to the bed with a low groan.

You don't push, you won't ever.

He hadn't pushed with Nevada. Everything they'd done had been completely consensual. What could she ask of him that he didn't want to give her willingly? What would she say that he wouldn't like? It hurt his head to think about it - and his head was already throbbing with the dull pain that sickness brought.

He hadn't pushed with Heidi - despite how badly he wanted to. He didn't even know what the blonde wanted from him. Then again, Tuck knew he'd never pushed - because he wasn't that type of guy.

Maybe he should be.

Or maybe it would be simpler if he kept to himself, just as he had when he'd first arrived on the island. That thought lingered as he fell back into a fitful half-doze.