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 Posted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 12:30 am
If Nevada knew that Stormy was picking through her actions and brain like a Pysch, She would've paid the girl for her accuracy and time.
Instead she leaned back on the washer and put her face in her hands. She started this already and there was no point in closing the dam now. She heard the door click and Stormy's question and with the need to just let it off her chest, she looked up at the girl.
"I just want you to know...That I will sound horrible and mean. I'm not....I wanted him to hate me, so what I said..." She breathed in, "Please don't let this ruin your opinion of me...though I understand if it will."
"I slept with Tuck. There is no point in hiding that. I've felt this attraction to him since I first met him...and I wanted to explore it. I'm not one for curiosity." She sighed, "And one not to deny temptation either." Tuck certainly hadn't made it easy, but it was her that had let into it. "I wanted him, and I wanted the connection he had with his twin. He's knew what it was like, being separated from his...Like a piece of you missing?" Nevada rambled, "Like someone had taken half of you, and it was stuck in some pod. Except his was different but still the same. It was something Roland...tried to understand but I never let him."
She crossed her arms over herself protectively. "He found a kiss mark, and we started fighting. And I wouldn't let him leave because I wanted him to understand. And he kept fighting and fighting so...I gave up. And I withdrew into myself. And I hurt him by telling him I used him for convenience until Alaska woke up. He started to cry, Then summoned his weapon and hit me...and took off." It was like remembering it all over again.
"And now I sleep by Alaska's pod cause my room is filled with violence and because I'm scared of Roland. And myself. He was a nice guy...and look what I made him do...Not to mention how it'll effect Tuck. I'm so selfish."
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Posted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 1:34 am
Thus did Stormy catch a glimpse of what drama was like here at Deus.
She should have known the niggling suspicion of Tuck's presence would lead to something like this. But up until then she had just imagined her eclipse brothers as being...removed somehow. A static image of two overgrown boys rough housing each other but with big smiles, one paternal, one dimpled. Not men with needs. Not even the parties or the orientation had been enough to clue her in, not willingly--it was just fooling around, that's all...People needed stress relief...
Stormy underestimated the power of attraction and sex. First Nat and Evan, and now this.
More stunned than anything else, she listened to Nevada with a blank expression. Her tale wasn't Disney style, not clear and following the golden formula. Maybe if Roland had been a more fitting villain, or if Nevada had become enamored with one, it would have been better: a story made, a lesson learned, and true love's kiss to tie it off. It didn't have to be complex, or painful, or upsetting at all...She wished her friends would never have to deal with that. But reality wasn't clean cut, wasn't full of impromptu song and dance, and didn't always have a happy ending, and it stung her to realize that.
Quietly, shy even, Stormy approached her with the look of one in mourning at a funeral, for once again this was the only parallel she could draw on. And just as hesitantly did she reach out to touch Nevada's hands and gently try to peel them off her body, holding and letting them dangle in the distance between them like a V. "Sometimes pain is okay," she said softly. "Sometimes we want people to hurt us because it validates our guilt, makes us think it balances things out by making people we've wronged hurt us back. I don't know if that's how you felt, but that's how I would've. It's not right, but sometimes it's better to feel better than to be right.
"I think, um...Nevada, you really love Alaska. Like Fred and George Weasley in sync love. And that's amazing," Stormy said with more emotion and a nod. "I wish I had something like that. But I also think you're selling yourself short...You talk like you're just half an apple, and Alaska's just a half, and Tuck's a half too, and if you stick you and him together you'll feel whole. But Tuck's not you, he's--he's apple pie. He's something totally different but still similar. And better than just a half of fruit, you're a whole tree waiting to grow," Stormy continued with a squeeze of her hands. "Just a whole big, unique tree of fruit, o-okay?"
She had to stop when she realized this was stirring more emotion in her than she realized, and Stormy sucked in a breath to keep herself together.
"I-I don't know if I should comment about what happened with Roland, 'cause I don't really know him. Maybe he's nice like you said, I dunno; I only know you and Tuck. But if you need a place to stay, my room has a lot of pillows and stuff," she offered, deciding maybe Nevada wouldn't like having her hands snatched like that and letting them go with an apologetic look. "But...I think the only thing selfish about this is that you're letting him go with the wrong impression and keeping things to yourself.If you hold guilt in, it starts to hurt you."
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Posted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 8:16 pm
How funny was it that Stormy knew perfectly how Nevada was feeling. That she understood the depth of just what was wrong with the mist huntress.
"It is...was...how I felt. Better to be hated completely then let him linger on a hope that I wouldn't do something horrible to him like this again." She watched as her hands tipped away from her, resisting the urge to snatch them up for the barrier they were.
At the comparison, Nevada almost wanted to tell Stormy she was wrong. But she knew, that deep down, the girl was right. she had been relying so long on having Alaska near her to be a person that when she had met Tuck, she projected those feels on him too. Her feelings for Tuck though had moved from sapping him into another half, to genuine care for the man. Another person she didn't want, or could think to hurt. Even if Roland had been the same.
"Maybe...Maybe I can be a apple AND orange tree..." She joked, "Not waiting for Alaska will be hard, moving on with her is. But you're right. God Stormy, when you're right, you're right. I'm just terrified to do it on my own." Tears did now silently fall. There wasn't a hicupping of breath or sobs, just a small trail of tears down her cheeks. "It's okay hun, I don't expect sides...And I am grateful enough that you even talked to me..."
The offer at sharing Stormy's room, even for a little was met with wide eyes and an almost hopeful expression. She didn't have to be alone right away, and for once...she'd be sharing with another girl then guy. It would be nice, to be able to stay in not in her room until she was ready to face what she went through.
"if you don't think i'm a bother, Then I'd love to just stay for a bit. Until I can cleanse my room and stuff out of negative things..." She wiped away the tears once her hands were free before moving and hugging the other mist girl. "I don't know how long till I feel less guilty but...Thank you for talking to me..Stormy. It really means a lot."
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Posted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 11:18 pm
She felt guilty that at the first sign of tears her thoughts went straight to, Nononononononono. Crying was good, yes, it was a healthy way to vent emotions as her therapist had said, but that didn't mean Stormy was equipped to deal with it. She'd already been teetering closer to the brink herself by the time Nevada pulled her into a hug, and the contact only heightened the pressure building in her because hugs and friends who made them, like sleeping spots, were beautiful, sacred things. And if there had been a way to cut through her problems and pain like a Gordian Knot, Stormy would have been first in line for that sucker.
But hugs, being the sacred things they were, would do for now, and so she returned it and did her very best to hold herself in. It was still Nevada's time after all. "You can be whatever tree you wanna be~" she told her with a light pat on the back, moving her head so that it could rest on top of her shoulder. "Okay? You can be a pizza tree if you want. Or vanilla ice cream. But whatever helps you, I'll do my best!" Sounding blasé was the only way to hide how strongly she was touched to hear she mattered, because if she tried anything else Nevada wouldn't be the only one crying. And that issue was not something she wanted to touch today.
"You can take however long you want," Stormy added when she eventually let her go, clasping her hands again with a better smile than she had managed all day. "That's what friends are for, right? D'you need to move anything while we wait for this stuff to wash?"
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Posted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:45 am
She laughed, among the tears and hugs at the mention of Pizza tree's. Vanilla ice cream. If they'd cut her down, she'd sap out vanilla ice cream. Take that world.
"Um, stuff to move out. Just pillows and blankets. I haven't collected anything beyond clothes in my room. And a penguin plush. Oh I need him, He was a gift from Otto." From their date at the aquarium. That mattered to her too, and reminded her that she still had a friend in him.
"Gosh, I wonder what I look right now." She wiped the tears and stuff away, using her sleeve. "How movie actors do it so beautiful is beyond me!" She breathed in, "I can't tell you thank you anymore then I can Stormy, but what you did today, for me...listening and offering and all the things. I'm really grateful. You're an amazing girl. If there is anything..." emphasized the word anything with a very intense stare, "Anything I can do for you, Please ask me. It won't be a bother. No matter what it is."
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