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 Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 9:38 pm
Ombra was tilted, rolled, and slid right off the bed with a solid little thump. Now out of sight on the floor, he made no further sound after that.
Riley settled into a soft, pleasant content as Malodore spoke of the plague doctors. She loved hearing about its upbringing, its past. Everything about it intrigued her. She let it soak in, until the very end, when it still offered her the option, and the choice. Her head tilted into the touch of its claws, nuzzling the hand lovingly.
If it is my desires you seek, then the truth is, I think.. I mean, no, I know that it is not fair, not safe, to bring another mindflayer into this world. If I could be sure that a child borne from the two of us was a plague doctor, then -
She thought about it for a moment. Would she want a child, if she could be sure? She let herself imagine the scenarios, passing through her head one by one at lightning speed. Her heart clenched with a sudden, forceful need, and she sucked in a breath, surprised at the reaction.
Oh. She blinked, heavy and slow, as she took this new self-introspective information in. Oh, how terrible.
She'd been so sure of what she wanted, that she'd never questioned anything else.
I suppose, the answer is.. yes. It felt like she was slapping herself in the face.
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Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 9:49 pm
Something new kindled in the plague doctor's unbeating heart at that moment, and it ducked its head to touch its beak to where her nose would be, if she had one. "Not so terrible as all that, surely," it assured her. "If you are concerned about a mindflayer, then perhaps mixing additional FEAR... it would provide options, at least."
It felt vaguely giddy, which was a rather silly way to feel, quite honestly - but talking about creating something new was inherently intoxicating, whether it was in the lab or by other means... hm. "Or we could create a construct."
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Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 9:57 pm
We could! Riley reached out, kissing that brilliant mind she loved. Wouldn't that be wonderful. She thought of Christof, for a moment, and relented. Unless it becomes too unstable or attached. Hmm. Such things are so complicated to entangle with, aren't they.
She considered the first option it had given her. Do you think it's possible? Her voice sounded smaller, but fiercer, suddenly hopeful. To imbalance the levels of Fear. To give it more of yours, less of mine. What would that do to the probabilities, I wonder..
She was far too excited about this, and it showed, in her thoughts, her soft shuddering motions, and the way her eyes flickered with lightning fast thought. For someone who, a moment ago, was sure she'd never want to create another being in her life, she sure did seem to change her tune fast enough.
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Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 9:59 pm
"I could build something better," Malodore said, vaguely insulted. "Ah, no offense to Christof, of course - but I could." Bold words, coming from someone who had never built anything of the kind before, other than a body for a pre-existing being to inhabit.
"I confess I do not know," it admitted. "Perhaps I could ask Infermiera Cricket, provided I assure her that I do not currently require an extra-large box of protection charms or a lecture on how to avoid certain, ah, inconveniences."
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Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 10:05 pm
Riley giggled - yes, you read that right - and eventually gave it a sharp nod of agreement. You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. You and I, together, creating a construct.. I'm not sure the world is ready for a being so perfect, so absolute in its greatness. Priceless in intellectual value, certainly. The entire conversation had turned her giddy, and her words were lifted with a bubbly sense of humor.
Just take the charms, Malodore. I'll find a use for them that has nothing to do with procreating. I'm sure of it.
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 7:33 pm
"Oh, of course. It will step out of the laboratory and immediately be handed a diploma from this very institution," Malodore said, solemnly, though a similar sort of giddiness lay beneath that calm facade. "Everyone will be deeply impressed."
Something she had said previously caught up to it, then. "So this is Calder's 'fault', is it? You have been speaking with him?"
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 8:30 pm
Ah.. Her eyes furrowed, and she nodded. I have. We were having a very cordial conversation, in fact. I had no idea why I quarrelled so much with him. Except..
Her heartbeat stuttered, just once. Except I kind of do. I hated him. I know.. you remember that. But I remember that.
Riley curled up on herself tighter. I don't think I should remember that.
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 8:51 pm
"You remember?"
The words were spoken very quietly, very gently; it ran a hand along her side.
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 8:57 pm
She didn't look directly at the plague doctor, but she nodded anyway. Sometimes. It doesn't come as some kind of revelation. I'll just be.. talking about something. And, I'll realize, I'm talking about a memory I didn't get from you. Or Jericho. Or anyone. Just.
Her eyes flickered up to it warily.
It's just there. As if it always was. But when I try to purposefully remember something, there is nothing but a blank.
Her eyes were guarded, and calm. But if it was open to her emotions, they rolled with such fear that it could have created a scareling at that very moment.
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 9:57 pm
The fear took it by complete surprise, like running into a wall. It would have expected triumph, jubilation, not this roiling sensation that twisted the plague doctor's stomach into a knot. "Mia cara... surely it is natural and normal for you to regain memory? Why..." Its throat closed up and it pulled her close, sheltering her tightly folded body with its own.
Cosa ti porta la paura? A fierce protectiveness accompanied the words, though beneath it was a quiver of Malodore's own unease.
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Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 7:17 pm
It wasn't that hard to explain, but before she'd said a word, she already knew that Malodore wouldn't accept the reasoning behind her fear. Amrita understood.. but Amrita also hardly talked to her, anymore.
And that was not a reaction she wanted out of Malodore; nor something she expected.
I am Riley. I understand that. I really do. But.. She hedged, and closed her eyes, gathering her thoughts carefully to explain while nestling deeper into its embrace. I am more than that. Riley was.. she died. We know that. And I came back. But there is a part of me.. it's very deep, very well hidden, and it is the part that remembers everything. That is Riley. And that.. that isn't me.
Perhaps it was harder to explain than she thought.
I worry that if my memory returns, in full, I won't be.. Her hands clung to Malodore possessively. She's fighting. She wants her life back. But, Her eyes opened, looking up at the plague doctor. When she saw it, she took in a deep breath, drawing herself closer. Mine, her body said. I love you, Malodore.
That wasn't really an answer. Nor was it the end of her sentence. The words fell from her helplessly, as did the emotions that came with it. And the desperation that had wrought it.
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Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 8:05 pm
Ti amo, tresorina, it replied, a whisper of thought mirrored by the arch of its body, the cage of its wings. And yet - it was difficult to understand what she meant. She was Riley, and... before, she had been Riley, and yet...
"You... as you are now, you are shaped from another set of circumstances as you... as you were before," it said, slowly. "But surely the one cannot simply... simply override the other, like a parchment scraped clean and rewritten?" It had happened before, but that was the Insanity. There couldn't possibly literally be two of her in there, could there...?
It remembered, with a start, letting her taste the memory too - of a swamp, of Malodore's heart laden with grief. Of a tall figure, a plague doctor wearing a ceramic version of a human face rather than the so-familiar beaked masks. Of crows overhead, thickening the branches and blocking out the light-
Malodore looked away. "But... Armida came back. Eventually. My... my Riley will not."
"She did come back, yes," Celeste said, simply. "But the Armida I had loved died that day. It was another Armida that came to me, and by that time I had become another Celeste. We were fortunate that the people we had become could learn to love each other again. I still miss her as she was, and her presence as she is now does not fully blunt that loss."
Feelings, rather than words: I did not understand... I do not know, still, if I do... but I loved you. And I love you. It was afraid, a bit, yes - but it clung to her. It always would.
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Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 8:49 pm
At least it understood. And it accepted her - no, it loved her. Truly, it did.
But the fear remained. It was not a fear of losing Malodore's love. It was a fear of losing herself, and thereby losing Malodore. Losing everything. Losing existing.
Still, she was as determined as ever to overcome.
I know. She murmured softly. And.. just.. Her expression furrowed, before a new wave of emotion overthrew her fear. Hope.
Promise me something, Malodore. Promise me this, and whatever happens, I will manage. Just promise me that - even if my memory returns. Even if the person I think I am right now, disappears in the wake of revelation, that you will love me. Me, Malodore. Specifically. She pressed her hand to its chest, where its still heart lay. If you promise that, then, even if I no longer exist, I'll live here. Inside of you. Never let her erase me from your heart.
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Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 8:55 pm
"Tu siete tu," it said softly, cupping her cheek in its cold palm. "E io ti amerò per sempre, Aen'ryllis."
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Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 9:05 pm
That was all she needed to hear. But, because she was never happy with just enough, Riley lifted her head up until the flat plane of her face pressed against the tip of Malodore's beak. There, she could see its eyes, level with hers. Her gaze turned far more content than it had been in the last few minutes. Perhaps this was because it was speaking to her, far more obviously than usual. The sound of her true name was liquid, pouring its adoration straight through her. Or perhaps it was because she'd finally found a way to be with Malodore, forever. Even if she was only a memory.
Aen'ryllis took the moment, heavy with love and promises, and asked for the greatest promise of all.
Marry me, Malodore.
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