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 Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 10:43 am
There was a slow feeling of dread that crept into Sasha's stomach, a cold black hole that settled just to the right of her heart, wedged between the spaces of her ribs. For a moment she almost felt frantic, like things were slipping away. He was unreadable.
"I can handle it. I don't think that he knows about the... agreement."
Sasha lightly dug her fingertips into the fabric of Wash's shirt.
"Wash."
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:09 pm
Wash took her hand, gently pried it from his clothing, and drew it away from his chest. He gave it a light squeeze.
"Sasha," he began slowly.
"I love you, Sasha Belrose. I love you from the tips o' your toes to the top of that funny head o' yours." He drew her arm down and tried to take her other slender wrist in the same hand, to hold them off to the side.
And then he slapped her.
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:51 pm
She certainly hadn't been expecting that declaration of love, and part of her was taken aback. Almost bewildered, she spent a split second gathering her thoughts, taking comfort in his closeness, the touch of his skin against hers. It was a relief, truthfully, to hear the words.
She opened her mouth, her intent to respond in kind - something that shouldn't have been easy for her, but it made sense that when she was with Wash everything seemed simpler.
The connection of his hand against her cheek wasn't a bruising blow, but it was enough to turn her head. The collision left her feeling jarred, heat pooling beneath the skin where his hand made contact.
The silence stretched, and Sasha blinked, slowly turning her head so that she could look up at him. Her face was pale aside from the red that marked her cheek.
"Let go of me."
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 1:07 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 1:18 pm
Sasha took a step back as soon as he'd let go of her, eyes narrowed. This was an impasse she certainly hadn't expected. She lifted a pale hand to brush against the hot skin of her cheek, her expression unreadable. Sasha never broke eye contact with Wash.
Her emotions ran the gamut, and Nona was oddly silent.
Intrigued.
"Again. Hit me again."
Sasha voice was low, dark and feral.
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 1:41 pm
He could still feel the sting in his palm where it'd connected with her cheek. It disgusted him.
"No."
This was the side of her that he'd never seen, the side that had brought Jerry low, the side that mirrored the thuggish sun hunter she couldn't seem to resist. A different side of the same coin. Could he handle both? Is this what she really, really wanted?
"Maybe you didn't hear me th' first time. I love you. All o' you. I don't wanna hurt you - or see you hurtin'."
He put his face in his hands for a moment, and sighed. "This arrangement you have? How is it gonna end? One o' you dead or dyin'?" He shook his head. "You're askin' me to love you, an' to watch you bleed." His anger, if that had been what it was, evaporated, and now he was just tired. He wanted to understand.
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 1:55 pm
She hadn't expected him to slap her again. In truth, she was counting on his refusal to do so.
"I heard you." A short pause, half a breath, "and I love you. You.. you know me. You don't judge me. You accept me and all of my faults, Wash."
Sasha took the step forward that she'd previously taken back, and then one more beyond that. The movement brought her up close, and Sasha wrapped her arms around his waist before burying her face against his chest.
"I've never loved anyone like I love you. I just need for you to accept this. It's an outlet for me, Wash. One I can't expect from you simply because you aren't that kind of man. You're a better man, and sometimes I wonder if I don't deserve you."
She fell briefly silent.
"It will end when one of us calls it off. When one of us gives in. I thought I could handle it, I really believed that the flute would work, Wash."
Sasha lifted her gaze to meet his, eyes damp.
"I know I'm being unfair to you. I don't know what else to do."
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 2:11 pm
Wash put his own arms around her, and rubbed her back gently. Whatever resolve he might have had quickly vanished in the wake of all that pain.
"Shh," he crooned. "It'll be okay, it's all right." And it wasn't, but then, maybe it was. Maybe he didn't have to lose everything after all - just let a piece go. It was never his to begin with, anyway.
"I'm -" he hesitated. "I'm sorry," he murmured finally. "Jus'...be careful, okay?" Please.
Maybe there were some things he'd never understand.
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 6:21 pm
"Don't apologize," Sasha mumbled against Wash's shirt, growling softly under her breath. "Never, ever apologize to me."
Sasha fell silent, struggling to breathe through the tears that threatened. She'd deserved what she'd gotten. In truth, Sasha knew she deserved worse - and she most definitely didn't deserve him. Never in a million years would she ever deserve him, and she knew it.
But she wanted him, needed him. Craved him, even.
In the next instant Sasha was pulling his head down, her mouth seeking his with an urgency she couldn't describe. Despite the tiredness that weighed on her shoulders like a ton, despite the uneasy understanding they'd come to... she needed him.
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Posted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 7:41 pm
That hunger, that urgency - it called to something primal inside him, and he answered it eagerly, pressing his lips and tongue to hers, exploring her body with his hands. This was the woman he loved, perhaps in spite of the darkness inside her. Her demons were her own to sort, and so, he supposed, was Rep. He seemed such a distant threat, here and now.
Wash wouldn't- couldn't let it come between him and the woman in his arms, not today. She was his hope, his joy.
His prayer.
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