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 Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:38 pm
Last line is ouch. Nice.
Wouldst thou trade away
A world of endless day
And delve into the deepest night
to soar above the skies?
The blight? The endless white
seas of marred bliss?
Rapture unending?
Perfect silence?
The night is very cold.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:24 pm
"Quiet Plea"
I see my home and loves divided
on one thing that can not be decided
so million will simply fall and lie dead
seas of crimson for myth and lore.
Am I safe in a foreign crowd
with a mind ashamed to be this proud
for one would not dare say aloud
what those millions had died for?
The sun has risen, a time for wake
knowled has become fruit and cake
clear descisions one can make
please see it, I do implore.
Just wrote it to contribute.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:29 pm
Dathu
"Quiet Plea"
I see my home and loves divided
on one thing that can not be decided
so million will simply fall and lie dead
seas of crimson for myth and lore.
Am I safe in a foreign crowd
with a mind ashamed to be this proud
for one would not dare say aloud
what those millions had died for?
The sun has risen, a time for wake
knowled has become fruit and cake
clear descisions one can make
please see it, I do implore.
Just wrote it to contribute.Nice....I like how the lyrics flow....it goes with the title well.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:31 pm
addseale2 Last line is ouch. Nice. Wouldst thou trade away A world of endless day And delve into the deepest night to soar above the skies? The blight? The endless white seas of marred bliss? Rapture unending? Perfect silence? The night is very cold. Why Ouch?
I like your poem as well. It is very interesting and abstract in a good way.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 4:08 pm
Glowing
the light flowed through his every cell
it's bright as day, it's loud as a yell
yet no one sees its gossamer strands
reaching out like grasping hands
they find an ear, they slip right in
searching for a good way in
inside, they look not for chatter
not for an idiot's constant patter
they look for an underfed bulb of doubt
festering, not ready to sprout
they clean it up, they give it food
take it out of its dark seclude
Suddenly, I begin to doubt
What my life's been all about
I worship nothing true or real
My painted fantasies start to peel
And it is then I truly see
The pure light splaying off of me.
It spreads to others, carries the word;
My true message shall be heard.
The light I wrangle, that I control,
Is nothing less than all my soul.
To the stupid and uncouth,
It will ferry all the truth.
and i'm glowing
'Twas a spur of the moment thing; constructive criticism is much appreciated. My inspiration was the way Neo saw the world after he'd been blinded (in Revolutions).
addseale2,
I liked this poem. It captures a lot, yet is very short, and the frequent question marks emphasize the fact that only the last line is a statement.
Dathu,
I love the contrast between the two worlds--I hope one day we can see the sun rising like that.
Sanguvixen,
I'm pretty sure that addseale2 is referring to the last line of your "My Fantasy and Your Fantasy": "Go fix yourself theistic worm." That line is quite an ouch.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:02 pm
DivideByZero14 Glowing
the light flowed through his every cell
it's bright as day, it's loud as a yell
yet no one sees its gossamer strands
reaching out like grasping hands
they find an ear, they slip right in
searching for a good way in
inside, they look not for chatter
not for an idiot's constant patter
they look for an underfed bulb of doubt
festering, not ready to sprout
they clean it up, they give it food
take it out of its dark seclude
Suddenly, I begin to doubt
What my life's been all about
I worship nothing true or real
My painted fantasies start to peel
And it is then I truly see
The pure light splaying off of me.
It spreads to others, carries the word;
My true message shall be heard.
The light I wrangle, that I control,
Is nothing less than all my soul.
To the stupid and uncouth,
It will ferry all the truth.
and i'm glowing'Twas a spur of the moment thing; constructive criticism is much appreciated. My inspiration was the way Neo saw the world after he'd been blinded (in Revolutions). addseale2, I liked this poem. It captures a lot, yet is very short, and the frequent question marks emphasize the fact that only the last line is a statement. Dathu, I love the contrast between the two worlds--I hope one day we can see the sun rising like that. Sanguvixen, I'm pretty sure that addseale2 is referring to the last line of your "My Fantasy and Your Fantasy": "Go fix yourself theistic worm." That line is quite an ouch. Beautiful poem! heart heart heart
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:07 pm
"Go fix yourself theistic worm" is meant to be a challange to those who are intent on converting others. It is just that part where I throw down a challange to the opposition.
They are bold enough to walk up to a person's home after being told not come back again. They are bold enough to go over to other countries and stirr up trouble. They are bold enough to lie, and manipulate in order to get followers.
Are they bold enough to fix themselves?
I keep looking at it and realize how strong of a line is. It would make a nice banner maybe...just those words. At the same time...some people might find it offensive. I don't know...
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:43 pm
Sanguvixen I keep looking at it and realize how strong of a line is. It would make a nice banner maybe...just those words. At the same time...some people might find it offensive. I don't know... Strong? Yes. Offensive? Yes. Awesome? Even more so. I don't think it needs to be changed; it's got the perfect sentiment. Sanguvixen Beautiful poem! heart heart heart Yay! Someone likes it!
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 7:29 pm
I haven't written anything in forever, but I guess I could put old stuff up. Don't really want to though.
I like very different styles of poetry, although I still know I'm not as well versed (pardon the pun) on the subject as I could be.
I reserve my right not to comment on anything unless specifically forced to. xD
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Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 10:14 pm
"Lost and Found."
How that I came here
as yet is unknown.
A path hard beaten
from winds that have blown.
Did I come here to see
the trick to the show?
I felt just like lightning
with a straightening blow.
Surrounded by riddles
with the answer in sight.
It shines like a needle
in a hay stack of night.
xp
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Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 10:15 pm
c a u s t i c I haven't written anything in forever, but I guess I could put old stuff up. Don't really want to though. I like very different styles of poetry, although I still know I'm not as well versed (pardon the pun) on the subject as I could be. I reserve my right not to comment on anything unless specifically forced to. xD
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 2:28 am
Sanguvixen, that first poem is just so beautiful heart
I like the other one, too.
DivideByZero14, I love 'Glowing'- it really has meaning, because it's based on physical things- love the description of 'gossamer'
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 12:09 pm
Muaethia DivideByZero14, I love 'Glowing'- it really has meaning, because it's based on physical things- love the description of 'gossamer' EDIT: I forgot, emoticon posts are spam. Now this edit makes it not-spam!
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 1:57 pm
DivideByZero14 Muaethia DivideByZero14, I love 'Glowing'- it really has meaning, because it's based on physical things- love the description of 'gossamer' EDIT: I forgot, emoticon posts are spam. Now this edit makes it not-spam!
If emoticon posts are spam
And spam goes to hell
OMGZ IM GOING TO HELL
*looks over shoulder to see guild mods not looking impressed*
So, yeah, ummmm... yes, I agree. That edit makes it not spam! ^_^
Oh crap. I think this post is off topic and spam, also.
I need sleep
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 2:14 pm
Muaethia DivideByZero14 Muaethia DivideByZero14, I love 'Glowing'- it really has meaning, because it's based on physical things- love the description of 'gossamer' EDIT: I forgot, emoticon posts are spam. Now this edit makes it not-spam!
If emoticon posts are spam
And spam goes to hell
OMGZ IM GOING TO HELL
*looks over shoulder to see guild mods not looking impressed*
So, yeah, ummmm... yes, I agree. That edit makes it not spam! ^_^
Oh crap. I think this post is off topic and spam, also.
I need sleep
Things like that aren't so bad though. It's when people reply to discussions with emoticons. o.x
@Dathu- xD Can I just say everyone's awesome?
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