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 Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2013 4:41 pm
"Almost every ******** interaction with people I care about. Especially Ace. I get that he's your friend and s**t, but sometimes you know, it's polite not to get all grabby and s**t in front of someone's fiancée. Or at least to ******** like, pretend that you give a ******** about their feelings. Just for five minutes." He rubbed his nose with his hand exasperatedly, he didn't think she'd ever understand it, she was just too damn good at pushing his buttons without even trying.
On the subject of women though it was so much more complicated. "Molly is harmless, she's passive, you tell her to do something, she'll do it. She's no a threat, she's a proper woman. She leaves men to do man s**t mostly. Clerise. Well. There's nothing I could call her she isn't already, she's familiar, most of the women I grew up with where a lot like her. And she doesn't get in my face about s**t either." Instead of making him feel better, her assurances only made him more awkward, being told by a woman that women weren't to be worried about didn't ease any of his hang ups.
He set his lips in a thin line at the comment that they would never speak of what happened.
"Fine." He didn't see the problem, it hadn't really happened, not to him as he was anyway. He took it as a personal slight, that he was too embarrassing to have anything to do with. He was being dismissed like a regretted one night stand. It shouldn't have bothered him, but it did when it was tied so closely to the point he'd been trying to make about wanting to know why that closeness ever existed in the first place. He sat down and crossed his arms, closed off again.
"Then we won't."
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 6:44 pm
Wow, Rep. Way to sound completely selfish. Candace just stared at he went on about Harrison, about how she hugged him. How the <********> was she supposed to know it bothered him? He was always angry when she was around, she just...assumed him bristling was the normal reaction. "Rep, you've got this thing..." She pointed at her mouth. "And, you know, words come out of it. You're reeeeal good at words when they don't matter, you should see about applying the same skill for when they do. Harrison's my friend. So I hug him. Cool, big whoop. If it bothered you you should've ******** said something." It was as simple as that. She had stopped touching him when Tracey said he didn't like to be touched, something she could related to on a certain level, all he had to do was tell her to ease up on being affectionate toward Harrison around him and she would. She wasn't completely heartless like he thought she was.
Rep was pouting now. Like a child.
Candace rolled her eyes and rubbed her temple when he sat down in a huff. "You want to talk about it?" Seriously? Rep of all people?! "Rep, despite past experiences I don't just..do infidelity. I don't sleep other people's significant others, and I don't..I don't cheat."
Except on Jerry. Oh, and me.
Shut up!
"It's always been something really...sore for me, okay? And it disgusts me that the other 'me' did it so casually without a second thought. She wasn't even worried of getting caught. She didn't give a <********> Candace waved a hand. "But if you want to talk about it by all means, speak. Fine."
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 6:59 pm
Rep shot Candace the most irritable glare he could muster, everything she said set him off. Everything. The way she talked down to him and to him, seemed to belittle his issues with people being grabby at Harrison around him started him on the way to anger, the fact it was thrown back at him, as his fault for not saying something only served to make it worse. "I shouldn't have had to say something, that's the thing, there's this wee thing called respect. Considering other ******** people that should come naturally to you. If you gave a s**t about me, I expected you to think about how I might have felt about you getting all grabby over the one thing I am ******** terrified of losing." He neglected to comment on how he expected other people to be considerate to him but never deigned to repay the gesture in kind.
The growing rage only peaked as she seemed to imply he somehow endorsed infidelity by wanting to talk about what happened, and it was too much. If he had one serious trigger, more than women, more than anything else, it was infidelity. He'd watched people throw away happy lives over what his mother had to offer and he'd loathed them for it. Denied a happy life of his own he'd never been able to understand what could make people put it all on the line, ruin everything for a bit of sex. Sex which was ultimately - no matter which way you spun it - merely an idle distraction without love backing it.
He clenched his hands into fists. "You think I ******** endorse what that other me did? Even for one ******** second?! I wanted to ******** understand it was all. His Jordan and Ace were FINE with it. It wasn't even cheating, it was ******** open or some s**t. Which was the whole ... It was the whole reason behind getting engaged here. So people wouldn't think that s**t about us. We aren't open."
He held up his hand haltingly. "You know what, forget I said anything. I am going to lose my ******** temper, and I'm supposed to be on duty. Clearly we just can't have a normal ******** conversation without you pissing me off."
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:47 pm
And there it was, the desire to hit him again. She wanted to tell him not to be afraid of losing Harrison or Jordan, because if he hadn't by now he wasn't going to, but Candace had a feeling he wouldn't listen. So he could dish out disrespect but he couldn't take it even if it was an accident. Figures. Candace didn't even want to say anything to that anymore, he would just blow up if she kept prodding.
"I wasn't saying you did. I was explaining why I didn't want to talk about it because you got all huffy and pouty like I'd just insulted you." Candace's eyes widened at his implication of what people thought about their relationship. Did people seriously..?! Seriously?! "I've never thought for one second you three were open."
He held up his hand and her eyes narrowed again. Rude. "The feeling is mutual, a*****e." Candace looked away finally, crossing her arms and propping her feet up on the table as if to block out the sight of Rep's face with her shoes, balancing herself on her chair's back legs. This was so stupid. Was there absolutely no chance of them having a civil conversation? None at all? When they'd gone shopping they'd gotten along so well! She just glared at the glass wall. What would it ******** take?
You could apologize.
Candace rolled her eyes. For what?
Well, the things he said you did. You could start there.
I'm not sorry.
Then why does it bother you so much that this isn't ending with you two making up? Atropos chuckled.
Candace sank in her chair, grumbling quietly under her breath.
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 8:02 pm
Rep was too worn out to properly argue, even trying to hold onto his anger was like grabbing vainly at sand, the tighter he tried to hold it, the faster it slipped away from him. He sighed heavily. Whatever. If she wanted honesty, he was going to give her it straight, lay it out why he reacted the way he did. "It did sort of insult me I guess. Like. It wasn't me that did it, it was that other wanker, but he was still sort of me. And you were like. No. As if I was some kind of ******** regrettable thing. Like it wasn't what happened that was the problem but me instead." It meant admitting just a fraction of the sheer weight of self conciousness he carried around. "And maybe you don't think it, but its an easy thing to think when we were just boyfriends or whatever. Three people, what's another to that? I know some people think it, like it's some kind of man party and everyone's ******** invited." what other people thought - no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, mattered.
"I dunno what you want from me, you are always like, on the offensive. And when you aren't you are like, talking down to me. Both things ******** piss me off. I can't stand feeling like someone isn't honest, and its like, really hard sometimes to know if you ever are. It just feels like you are hiding behind this like wall, where its like Candace the awesome mist who is always happy and full of good advice and s**t, but like under it there's the kind of person I think I get along with sometimes when you forget yourself. Selfish, self centered, cruel. I just wish you'd admit it."
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 9:22 pm
Rep smoke calmly, civilly, and honestly. Candace remained quiet for his entire explanation, not because she was ignoring him but because she was listening. She wasn't the only one on the offensive. She was usually just reacting to his offensive. Though she did often talk down to him, huh? Usually she felt he deserved it..did he always? Maybe not.
She snorted at him claiming she was always happy. Yeah, Candace. A big ball of cheery sunshine! Yay! He didn't seem to think she realized what kind of person she was, though. Did Rep really think Candace thought she was this sweet, selfless woman who didn't put up a wall for a reason? That some of the people she treated nicely she did..for a reason? That other Candace had to come from somewhere, and she liked how that woman operated. She needed to try and do that herself even despite what Rep was saying about her. "You think I'm not aware of what kind of person I am?" Candace asked quietly, putting her feet back on the floor. She arched a brow, tilting her head to one side. "Trust me, I'm well aware of what kind of person I am. If there's something you want to know about me all you have to do is ask, Rep. I don't make a habit of being a liar." Was she really that cruel? Maybe. She did do some pretty shitty things to those students over the summer. And even in the past she was sure she'd broken some hearts, and then again with Jerry..but that had been a huge regret. Candace was ashamed of that mistake.
"We've gotten along before. I don't see why we can't do it again," she refrained from adding 'aside from you being a dumbass'. "I don't forget myself, I just relax when I don't feel like I'm being attacked in some way." Candace shrugged.
"I pretty much got what I wanted from you. An apology, to find out why you did what you did, some honesty..I'd like to be your friend but it might be impossible if all I do is piss you off without even intending to." All those times she had been nice to him did he take it as an attack? Was that why he often reacted so aggressively toward her when she wasn't even trying to be cruel? It made a bit more sense now. "Now it's just a matter of what you want from me, I guess."
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:08 am
"I do think you aren't aware what kind of person you are actually." he crooned "Most people aren't. They have like, this idea of what they want to be and like how they expect people to perceive them and its totally ******** different from what's underneath. There's like, some s**t that people just are naturally and then they cram it all into this like...mould that doesn't fit." he waved his hands enthusiastically as he spoke. Other people were a pretty avid interest of his, and sometimes it was hard not to have that enthusiasm shine thought.
He could hear the smirk in Tracey's tone. He was not impressed.
"And I'm no used to people telling the truth when you ask, most people just say what they think you want to hear. They only tend to tell the truth when they are too pissed off not to."
He shrugged. "We get along when its against a mutual enemy or we are buttering one another up. So aye, its no impossible. I wouldn't half mind being like, friends either." he shrugged. "But like you say it'd take you like, paying attention to my feelings and s**t more than you currently do."
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Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 6:25 pm
Candace tried not to look annoyed that someone was saying they knew her better than she did. Instead she smiled, holding her head up in her hand and looking terribly interested in Rep's little theory. Yeah, she was naturally a b***h who did things that benefit her. And usually she didn't care who got hurt in the process.
Lately it was difficult.
Man, he had this down to a science. What kind of people did Rep grow up around? Jesus. "There's a lot of people on this island who are pretty blunt with the truth or just genuinely honest. Mostly the really nice ones." She shrugged. So Rep had the whole entire world figured out. Just like that. Right. Okay.
Friends. Candace got quiet again, her smile falling. "See, I thought we were friends. But I guess I was wrong." She drummed her fingers along her cheek, pouting her lips and just watching Rep. "I'll pay attention better if you get more honest and vocal if I'm doing something to piss you off and not noticing. I'm not perfect." Painful to admit considering she wanted to be perfect. "I'm just saying I'll make the effort if you do as well."
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 9:41 am
"Oh aye I know there are plenty of people around without like, defensive s**t going on. Best example is like, Allan. He's a good guy like, right down to the core and he's no afraid to wear that on his sleeve. No everyone is that strong though. I know I'm no." He wasn't sure what to make of how closed off she seemed to be, even despite her smile. He was used to people not responding well when he tried to offer them his views on the world, to somehow make them understand and was somewhat self concious, maybe he was just paranoid.
"We were I think or like, at least as close as I come to having friends." Friends one day, insults and enemies the next, it sounded like Melvin and Jerry aswell. He couldn't simply keep stable friends he didn't constantly get annoyed at. "And I would like to be again and s**t I guess."
He cleared his throat. "I'll tell you when you are pissing me off I guess, but don't get annoyed at me for doing it either."
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 2:24 pm
That was what they needed, an understanding. They needed an agreement to both put forth effort to make a friendship work. Candace chuckled. "I'm a woman, I can't promise I might not get annoyed every now and then if you tell me I'm pissing you off." But she was clearly amused even as she said this. So they could try this being friends thing over again, and hopefully this time they wouldn't end up literally trying to kill each other.
"Maybe we can go shopping again sometime." Candace offered with a more genuine smile now. They'd gotten along well last time, she had no idea she'd just annoyed him the whole time.
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 2:42 pm
The excuse that she was a woman for whatever reason seemed to placate Rep, he gave her an indulgent nod, as if sympathising with some terrible condition. "Aye, women have all that like hormonal s**t or whatever, I guess I can excuse that. " He just had to be clearer with her he supposed, since despite being very alike, both of them spoke what was fundamentally different languages, Candace spoke fluent feminine when she wanted to and he tried to speak masculine half the time.
At least one language they did actually understand, he still wore the clothes she'd bought him last time. "And shopping sounds ******** great sometime, I like, have a lot of s**t I need to buy."
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 6:42 pm
Of course he'd be fine with that 'excuse'. She knew he would be. "I need to get some things, too. I should really be saving for my closet though." She sighed and shook her head, checking the time on her phone after and standing from her chair one more time. "Molly bought hot chocolate during the holidays. Want some?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 6:32 am
"Well window shopping isn't too bad either." he said with a shrug. It was always more fun to actually go buying things, but he wasn't about to complain. At the offer of hot chocolate though all his attention was brought right back into sharp focus. "Does a bear s**t in the woods?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 7:54 am
"I only said I should. Window shopping is a waste if you're not going to even try and buy what you want." Candace have Rep the 'are you daft' look before he gave his oh so attractive answer to her offer. Of course he would. Why wouldn't he. "C'mon then, nothing's going on down here today." She waited for Rep to grab his coat before leading him back to the dorms. It was a peace offering of sorts, giving up some of her stash instead of making Rep share...this time. Next time was on him.
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