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 Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 6:39 pm
His own brows furrowed, eyes meeting Sloane’s as he tried to mask his distaste for the direction the conversation was taking. Jin Ho’s jaw tensed, teeth gritting. Before turning to face him, the man gripped his belt tighter as his lips tugged downward.
”Whatever I may have shown just now was weakness on my part. I regret that it was so obvious,” he spat, unintentionally seething after trying so hard to keep his composure. After his slip-up two years ago with Felicity, he couldn’t afford to let anything happen again, even with someone he trusted. If he were alone he would have silently scolded himself, but with company it was quite difficult.
The shift in Sloane’s tone put Jin Ho on edge, gripping tighter still. Brows tightly knit and eyes wide, he glared up at the Plague, lips parted as if to speak but he choked on his words. Releasing his belt, he turned away once more and ran his hand through what length of his hair wasn’t pulled back into a braid.
”I made mistakes and I paid for them.” he hissed, lowering his voice to a near whisper in anger. ”I did what I thought Blaithe would have wanted. She was clearly unhappy in my care.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 7:30 pm
The regret Jin Ho spoke of did not meet his voice in Sloane's ears, annoyance and offense taking over the man's tone instead. Sloane narrowed his eyes, glare threatening to break through his calm but it only managed to slip through when Jin Ho turned away from him entirely. This situation felt backwards from when they first spoke of it; Sloane had been the one angry, defensive, and Jin Ho was keeping calm. So much was changing and it was difficult to tell what was for the better.
"You saw she didn't want to leave so suddenly. It didn't cross your mind to discuss it with her at all?" Sloane couldn't hold back his sneer then, teeth flashing as he lowered his arms. "Or is it more accurate to say her opinion didn't matter? You knew what was best, is that right?"
At the time of the exchange, Jin Ho's only reason for sending Blaithe away was as a means of protection. Sloane understood it then but he knew there was something else that drove Jin Ho's decision as well. Something he either didn't deem important enough to disclose to Blaithe or too important to.
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 7:40 pm
What initially flashed as sadness in response to Sloane’s first statement quickly melted into anger once more. Fist clenching, he glared back at his Anhelo companion without turning his head, teeth grinding together uncomfortably. No, he had to keep calm, he couldn’t let all those months of therapy go to waste, no matter how self-justified his anger was.
”I’ve made my mistakes.” he repeated, voice straining as the lump in his throat rose. ”I was – am a failure of a Grimm. There are several things I’ve done that can’t be forgiven; I was stressed – I couldn’t handle it. You can’t fault me for wanting her to be happy…”
With each word that spewed out of his mouth, Jin Ho’s anger rose as each syllable lifted from his tongue. His voice was shaky, uneven and it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep his voice down. His balled fist had found its way back down to his side, nails threatening to break the skin if he could muster the strength to clench tighter.
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 8:12 pm
His own hands rested at his sides, not fists but his fingers clenched. The more Jin Ho tried to defend himself the harder it was for Sloane to hold his growing anger back all the same. He felt justified in bringing this topic to light, more so with each passing moment, just as Jin Ho likely felt he was being unfairly interrogated.
The last thing that passed his lips, though, caused Sloane's eyes to widen. His swirls narrowed sharply, the red glow distinct against his single black sclera. The Infitialis' frown tightened, lips pulling back in a silent snarl. A delayed, muted growl rumbled from his chest as he approached Jin Ho, stopping a few feet from him. Even bowing his head down to look directly at Jin Ho he towered over him.
"What makes her happy is not your decision." Sloane was still somewhat conscious of their noise level and, though it lessened his immediate level of intimidation, he glanced back to the door while keeping himself entirely turned to Jin Ho. It only took a short moment of listening for Sloane's eyes to land back on the mage's. No sound had ceased, dulled, or heightened behind the door, just a calm drone of conversation.
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 8:23 pm
His immediate response was to recoil – to back away as the intimidating figure towered over him. Letting out a frustrated grumble of his own, his eyes only disconnected once he felt a short table against his side, quick to level the jostled vase atop and once it was settled, his eyes burned into Sloane’s.
Jin Ho’s brows furrowed again, eyes narrowed so tightly they were almost clenched shut. He could feel a grimace form on his face, lips tugging downward while his fingers curled around the edges of the table. ”It was lonely and miserable,” he hissed, attempting to stand tall but could barely manage as he required the table’s support with Sloane hovering over him. ”You cannot tell me that she wasn’t happier with you than she was with me. I was a mess, and while I had personal reasons for sending her away, I assure you,” his voice lowered again, each word dripping with disdain, ”you would never understand my worries. You wouldn’t understand what it was like to lose everything you had going for you.”
Furious, he could feel his nails dig lightly into the soft wood. He could feel his hand shaking from the pressure of his own body and his grip. ”My negligence almost cost both of us our lives. I couldn’t… I can’t live with that. She grew to accept my decision. She was safe, and she was happy. I may have made her own decision for her, but it was for her.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 9:02 pm
Sloane blinked. His head tilted the slightest fraction while one brow raised subtly. Swirled eyes scanned the mage's face, scrutinizing every minor crease in his expression, the anger in his eyes, the color of his knuckles as he clutched the edge of the table.
There was nearly a moment of agreement; Blaithe had seemed happier in his presence, at least compared to when she was forced to part ways with Jin Ho, and he knew she appreciated the presence of the stunted excitos who stayed with him, but he knew what she really wanted. He knew as soon as that note from Jin Ho arrived with the cat, because her entire demeanor changed.
All she wanted was for her Grimm to care for her and not treat her as a burden. He knew that feeling well.
This moment was lost just as soon as the next word rolled off Jin Ho's tongue. Sloane's arms went limp at his sides, expression falling into blank shock. For a moment he stared and all he heard was a dull buzzing that overshadowed the rest of Jin Ho's speech. He stared into the man's eyes but he wasn't looking at them, momentarily receding. Then it clicked. A single line of blood trickled down his chin from one corner of his mouth.
"I wouldn't understand?" It was weak, quiet and confused.
In one swift motion, the side of Sloane's right fist collided heavily against the wall behind the table. He leaned close, teeth bared, their noses nearly brushing. "How do you think I became this way?" His voice was low but no longer for fear of those outside hearing. It was thick with an unspoken threat.
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 9:20 pm
Jin Ho’s own expression visibly shifted once Sloane pulled back, mirroring in confusion now that the behemoth seemed lost in thought. However, his eyes widened as he watched the single line of blood run down from the sword’s thin lips.
In the rush of everything, he almost didn’t hear the blade’s words.
Reactionary, Jin Ho attempted to push himself against the wall once Sloane’s fist connected with the wall, letting out a small, muted yelp. Their noses barely had any time to touch before the former mage was on the ground, his hand suddenly covered in blood. The pain hadn’t registered, still staring up at Sloane in horror as the table tried to roll away in its circular pattern. The vase had shattered upon impact with the ground, quickly followed by the palm of Jin Ho’s hand and the weight of his body.
Still, he hadn’t noticed.
While he still felt angry, he could no longer show it on his face, shock still painted on his features. He’d never put thought into how Sloane had grown into a non-linear Infitialis – he never had need to. Jin Ho knew what he was and not what he had been. It wasn’t until then that what he said fully clicked, the weight of his own words finally being realized. Along with the pain.
With a loud groan and hiss he removed his hand from the ground, helpless to the thick ceramic wedged into his gushing palm, unable to pull it out himself and he was to be damned if Sloane would consider in his rage. Instead, he returned his wide eyed stare to the sword – while he couldn’t show his anger, his brows managed to furrow despite his frantic expression.
Nearly as soon as everything had come to motion, the door slammed open; Min Ho being the first to barge in. She let out a sharp gasp, her free hand shooting instantly to her mouth while the other attempted to add distance between the scene and the two taking residence in her hand. However, the two already noticed the scent of their Grimm’s blood, though neither of them knew what exactly was happening. Min Dai and Han Ji were convinced to stay in the other room while the two younger ladies were sent to investigate.
Giving the two women a glare, Jin Ho opened his mouth for a moment without words. Rather than directing his anger at them, he turned his gaze back to Sloane. ”Go back into the other room, I-I merely fell. Sloane wasn’t able to catch me in time.” he hissed, bringing his injured hand to his stomach to cradle gently.
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 9:48 pm
The movement was sudden. If Sloane had been caught off guard by Jin Ho's words, he was completely at a loss following the abrupt chain of events. He stepped back, dropping his hand from the wall, and could do nothing to stop the table from toppling or Jin Ho following it to the floor. The scent of fresh, untainted blood flared his nostrils and he took another step back to survey the damage. All anger was gone from his face, eyes wide with surprise. Only when Jin Ho tried to resume his glare did he cringe back.
Lady Estratus and Min Ho burst through the door, startling the Infitialis. He twisted to face them, giving a short huff of surprise, but calmed some when he locked eyes with the ever stony face of his Grimm. Sloane's lips tightened as she gave a subtle dip of her head, pointed stare boring into him. He was frozen for a moment, pulled back when he felt the drip of his own blood against his collar bone.
A gloved hand rested upon Min Ho's shoulder. Lady Estratus glanced down to Jin Ho for confirmation but narrowed her eyes when he did not look at her to give it. She turned to his sister and nodded, ushering her and the small Plagues back out. Her gaze lingered, connecting with Sloane's as he wiped the blood off his lip with a thumb, before she pulled the door shut behind them. Only when they were gone did he look away, examining the blood spread across his finger. He wrapped his lips around it briefly, cleaning it this way being the safer method than letting it linger upon his clothes or anything someone susceptible might touch. Wiping the remnant of saliva on the hem of his shirt, Sloane stared down at Jin Ho and, though hesitant, reached down to grasp his upper arm without jostling his injured hand to help him to his feet.
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 9:56 pm
To be honest, Jin Ho was almost too frightened to look at Lady Estratus – partially from the current conversation. He could feel the heat rise to his face as the door clicked shut, and much like Sloane he, too, looked away. Flexing his hand he let out a small hiss, followed by a muted groan, before looking back up at the sword. His demeanor changed completely and Jin Ho could feel his anger begin to dissipate as well.
He almost didn’t want help, but given the situation he would have been a fool not to accept. Letting out another groan upon being lifted, once he was on his feet he still didn’t look up at his company. No, now that he was finally beginning to calm, looking would only fuel the flame.
”I-I’ve been working… so hard…” he said, voice quivering despite the obvious battle to keep it level. Jin Ho’s gaze remained on his hand, his glare softening as he could only look helplessly at the damage. He stretched and curled his fingers, his expression morphing in reaction to the pain. It wasn’t new, and it certainly wasn’t the worst he had experienced, but he knew the bleeding would have to be stopped.
”I lost nearly everything. There are no excuses for my actions, but I am working. For her, I have been working.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 10:23 pm
Silence fell over them once the door closed, save for the occasional mutters of pain Jin Ho gave as he examined his wound. The sword refused to look at him as well, instead examining the damage from a higher vantage. His grip on the mage's sleeve lingered until he was certain Jin Ho wouldn't fall, then dropped limply. There was no anger on his face and his senses felt dulled, save for the fresh scent of blood assaulting him. He still felt it but Jin Ho's shuddering breath made him unable to pull it back in full force.
His brows furrowed, slightly upturned on a face that looked otherwise tired. Sloane watched the movement of his fingers, how blood seeped more quickly down his palm each time, and the shard still embedded. Now that this was in the open and Jin Ho stood there, vulnerable, he felt no accomplishment. Sloane couldn't begin to know what pains Jin Ho had been taking, what had gone through his mind during these past months, but his words were much more candid now, much easier to believe. The knight felt drained. He had no words in return for Jin Ho, not yet. All he could do was listen to the man in his weakened state. The emotion in Jin Ho's voice made Sloane's eyes threaten tears of their own but he fought back and both continued their refusal of looking one another in the eye.
With only a quiet sigh as warning, Sloane's hands reached for Jin Ho's. He grasped the man's wrist with one, the other hovering over the ceramic shard for a moment -- just long enough to gauge his reaction -- before lowering his index finger and thumb to clamp around its tip. It wasn't deep enough to require wiggling to dislodge, nor did the removal tear anything further. Just a simple tug of pressure on an already injured area, a slight pop, then the nasty sting as air hit the open gash.
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 10:38 pm
Jin Ho also had nothing to say, not even looking up once his wrist was grabbed. He only flinched once upon the initial contact, but once the other hand hovered he merely stared. Once the shard was removed, he craned his neck with a loud grunt – eyes shut tight and brows furrowed as his lips formed a thin line. Clenching his fist for just a moment, he turned toward the cupboards after murmuring a quick ”Thank you.”
With a rag in hand, the Auger leaned against the table to put pressure, squeezing the cloth gently as he rocked on his feet before seating himself. Using the back of his arm, he wiped away what had managed to leak from his eyes, clearing his throat threw a sniffle.
The pain meant nothing – he had felt much worse and even then, he could take it. Physical pain was nothing compared to dealing with the thoughts he once had on a daily basis, thoughts that merely bringing up related times made him relive. For the longest time he had been scared that if he wasn’t offed by a Cultist that he may have delved so deeply into hopelessness that he would have done the job himself. These thoughts were never mentioned to anyone, especially not Blaithe, as she was what kept him going. He couldn’t stunt her, he couldn’t do that to her. While his methods had been questionable, she was always his main concern.
”You should return to Lady Estratus’ side,” he said plainly, tone forced as he took in a drawn sigh before clearing his throat once more, trying to even his temper and breath. Jin Ho hadn’t openly admitted any of this to anyone, even to those who held closer relations, and now more than ever he felt drained. He couldn’t quite bring himself to walk by Sloane’s side.
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Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 11:09 pm
Sloane merely grunted at Jin Ho's thanks, looking over the shard between his fingers. Once he was seated, Sloane glanced around for the waste basket and deposited it inside, along with the rest of the broken vase. Another cloth was retrieved and the next few minutes were spent in further silence as Sloane set to work on cleaning blood from the floor and fixing the table back to its proper position.
He didn't react, at first, to Jin Ho's suggestion. Didn't twitch, glance, or make any sound of acknowledgement. For a few moments it appeared as if Sloane hadn't even heard him. He leaned against the table, palms resting atop it as he leaned over, examining the slight dent he had given to the wall. After nearly a minute he hung his head and drew a deep breath, then nodded. Sloane pulled himself up right, finally glancing to Jin Ho again. He was a mess.
Jin Ho's actions were all he could judge but this counted. This was viable, he supposed; this vulnerable honesty which had to be forced out of him. Compared to the cold detachment he showed last at the North Base, this was a relief.
The Infitialis' gaze lingered while Jin Ho occupied himself with his injury. He still didn't look at his face, but most everywhere else. After another few moments which were growing steadily uncomfortable in their mutual silence, Sloane finally found something worthwhile against his tongue. "Keep working. For her." He spoke softly, the only emotion apparent causing it to sound more like a request than an order. Perhaps it was just that. Sloane hesitated, then bowed his head and finally broke eye contact as he retreated to the door. Apologies would be given, any follow up explanations to the family would follow Jin Ho's excuse, but his Grimm knew. Maybe Blaithe knew, too.END
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