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 Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 11:16 am
Wash pinched the bridge of his nose, then crossed his arms and settled for staringy intently at the snowman-gone hunter.
"Elf what?" Torture by horsemen of the apocalypse; sure. But being tickled to death by a tiny santa's helper equivalent of Jackie Chan...
Maybe it was the JOY in the air, or the ridiculousness of the situation, or the sheer irony of being paired with the last person on Earth he'd trust his well-being to, but something finally snapped. A small, throaty scoff turned into a low chuckle that snowballed into a full-on belly laugh, leaving the moon hunter with tears in his eyes as he clutched his sides.
"Ninja...elves..." He managed, between breaths.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:46 pm
"Yeah, you need to know your weapons won't work properly here. Last year during the invasion it wasn't so bad, they could still feed off some FEAR on the island, but here it's all JOY. So your weapons are both ineffective and it would be the equivalent of poisoning them." He held up the bag, "Luckily, our favourite Harry Potter wannabes attacked this place a couple years ago and left a cache of local weapons." Reaching in he pulled out a wreath then stared at it for a moment before shrugging and reaching in to pull out more possible weapons. Something that looked a bit like a bazooka, a smaller red sack, a jar of yellow snow, "...really?" He glanced up Rep and the rolled his eyes, "Yes, I'm Dwight. You didn't know? Dude, I hate you. The instant I knew I hated you, I pulled up all your files and flagged your mission reports to automatically forward to me. And you did't even know what I looked like? I don't know if I'm more disappointed that I overestimated you or that I wasted so many opportunities." The tech sighed and pulled out a tangled strand of lights and a snow disc, "You're like the most helpless a*****e ever, christ." A bell, shining and beautiful was the last item to appear as Dwight muttered to himself, "Like a sitting ******** duck this whole time." the ooc Pick a weaponWeapons are like FEAR attacks, only usable once per battle. (The exception being the Healing Bell. It has 5 uses overall, and can be used outside of battle) Pick one and stick with it. Your main, re-usable attack/defense will be 2d6-6. Christmas Wreath -> A circle of green complete with lights. Throw onto the enemy. There's a lingering smell of burnt plastic in the air... Roll 2d8. If the first roll is even, you hit. If is odd, you miss. The second roll determines how much damage you did if you hit. EXTREME SNOWBALL LAUNCHER 5000 Roll 2d12. The first dice is the amount of damage you deal to your opponent. The second dice is the unfortunate backlash done to you. Backlash is non-blockable. A Sack Full of Joy Reach in and start bombarding your opponent with random trinkets. Roll 3d8. Damage done is the AVERAGE of the numbers rolled. If the total is EVEN, you hit. If the total is ODD, you miss. Yellow Snow Do not eat. ---SUPPORT--- Tangled Christmas Lights Chuck the ball of tangled lights at your opponent. Roll 1d6. If odd you missed. If even, your opponent can't move for one turn. Snow Disc For all your sledding needs! Roll 1d4, if you roll even you make a quick escape, if odd you fail! Carol of the Bells It's a bell. Ring it and restore someone's HP by rolling 2d6. Usable five times.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:45 pm
Harrison desummoned B0nez, but he wasn't happy about it.
He gave Dwight a real funny look as he explained the depth of his commitment to their...nemesishood or whatever it was. Wash was outright losing it.
Boring maps, zero powerups, B0nez complained, maybe we should just forfiiiiiiiiii-hold everything. Are those special edition?
Harrison looked skeptically at what looked like a bunch of leftover Christmas decorations (minus the bazooka - still, not his style) What was missing was any obviously stabby objects.
Wreath, bag, jar of pee- heh, that'd make a nasty molotov cocktail. Lights- maybe electrocutiony, that could be fun, a shield...sled...thing, and a bell- the bell looked expensive, at least. He remembered the previous battle with something like unease, that distant ringing that kept on getting louder and louder until everything was clanging, and on Julie's baking tray... he felt a strange mix of attraction and revulsion.
He shied away from the bell, and picked up the knot of wires.
B0nez had a thing for wires, and electronics, and this was the closest thing Christmas had to high-tech, he guessed. He stretched them between his hands with satisfaction, like a garrote.
"This'll work."
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:59 pm
Rep raised a brow suspiciously at Dwight, he'd been retrieving his mission reports and who knew what else, it made it really ******** hard to stay festive as his words as always, got to the sun hunter. His anger was only barely kept in check as he snarled. "You know man, that doesn't ******** sound like hate to me. That sounds like creepy ******** stalker with a crush. Did you like what you saw in my files? I hope so, because that's the most you'll see of me. You aren't my ******** type."
There weren't words for how much Rep resented the tech, and irrationally almost blamed him for the fact that Tracey would be entirely unusable here and that it looked like they would be stuck wielding absolute ******** junk in the stead of actual dangerous weaponry.
"And you'd know all about ******** helpless Mr Frosty the ******** snowman, wouldn't you? Do me a favour and wait until you are actually in the fray, risking life and limb to save the ******** day before you even try and talk down at me."
He gravitated almost on instinct to what he felt was the most dangerous item available, picking up the snowball launcher with a smirk.
Didn't matter, it was badass.
"Hiding on the edge of the field near a portal doesn't ******** count."
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 6:52 pm
Wash, still wiping tears from his eyes, made his way to the bag and it's contents last.
After some deliberation, he selected the round...oversized pot lid looking thing. He'd never seen so much snow in his life, and he had no idea what the object's original intent was, but it was as close a facsimile for Sally as he could find. He took a few deep breaths, still recovering from the suddeny jolly attack, and settled the thing against his arm, hand hooked through one of the handles.
"Sorry. Ready when y'all are. How do we get t' this Candy Cane Lane?" God help him, it even RHYMED.
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 6:58 pm
Wash was pretty much overflowing with mirth.
Harrison dug into his lunchbox, and offered him a depressant.
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Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:05 pm
Dwight snorted and then sneezed violently, "You say stalker, I say prepared. Besides, if I had a crush, I'd probably be nice to you, a*****e." The tech began patting himself down, obviously looking for something as Rep continued to b***h, voice a bit distracted when he finally asked, "Why the hell would I do you a favour by not talking down to you? How exactly do you think bitter enemies work? Anyway..." He turned to Wash, beaming and holding up what looked like a garage opener, "You'll be getting there on this." The snowy ground shifted and slid away as a large, red, gleaming sleigh rose up through an opening. "I'd really like to say we built this, but actually I found the keys on this guy," Dwight patted the half demolished snowman. "To turn it on you just..." he leaned over into it to hit a giant red button and the air began to hum. Two spectral reindeer shimmered into existence before them, tossing their heads with restless energy. "Just use the reigns to steer them and you guys should be alright. Maybe." The tech gives a small shrug and moves on, "You just need to clear this forest, Candy Cane Lane should be the center-most path once you exit. Like it's surrounded by ******** Candy Canes, you can't really mistake it..." he squints at Rep and Harrison for a moment and then turns fully to Wash. " You can't really mistake it. Anyway you guys need to get going nowish." He gives Wash an encouraging pat on the shoulder, Harrison the stink-eye, and Rep a quiet piece of advice, "Hey, if any of them die or stay missing? Just stay here, because that s**t's gonna be all on you."the ooc Slay Ride! Sleigh HP: 40 I. The sleigh takes the three of them on a high speed, breakneck path through the forest. The reindeer either give no ******** about the steering, or the hunters are just really bad at it because this s**t is out of control! Each hunter rolls 1 d6 to determine an obstacle in the path, 1 being the smallest, 6 being a near-death experience. Subtract each roll from the sleigh's HP! II. If that's not bad enough, as they crest a hill, they are greeted an army of snowmen who begin to viciously attack them! One hunter rolls 1 d6 to determine how many snowmen reach the sleigh to attack! Each snowman has 15 HP! Overkill goes toward damaging another snowman this round! After one round of hunter attack, any snowmen left standing cause 5 damage to the sleigh before melting! The next hunter rolls! Same deal! Each hunter must roll for an attack wave once! Special: Tangled lights, if successful, will completely take out one snowman. Snowdisc, if successful, will cause one snowman to drop from attacking. If the sleigh is destroyed: The three are mobbed, and each hunter must roll another attacking round, this time using 2d4 and the 5 damage from surviving snowmen will hit the hunters this time!
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Toshihiko Two rolled 1 6-sided dice:
5
Total: 5 (1-6)
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Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2013 9:59 pm
It'd been a while since Harrison had driven anything.
"Two horsepower, huh?" he joked. "Uh. Nice horses."
Harrison ignored the stink-eye, putting B0nez through his belt and hopping up into the carriage's interior.
It would have been...semi-romantic if their third had been Jordan.
Harrison waited for the other two to get onboard, then took the reigns first, giving them a grin. Okay. Maybe with the Winter Wonderland and Rep keeping him warm on one side, it was still nice.
"First stop, Candy Canes, Peppermint Bark, and Breathmints. And uh. And Rescues, of course."
Harrison had hoped for a nice trot through the snow. The horses apparently had other ideas. One snap from the reigns and they lunged forward, careening left and barreling down a huge hill, whipping past trees and sharp-looking branches. There were cracking sounds as icicles exploded into the snow on either side of them, and Harrison frantically yanked the horses, right- left- right, STRAIGHTnarrowly avoiding a s**t ton of tree trunks that seemed to appear out of nowhere.
By the bottom of the hill, they were all covered with pine needles.
The experience seemed to have the opposite effect on him, though.
"H-holy s**t. Did...did you see that. That was....that was <******** awesome." The Joy might have had something to do with it. "Hahahaha. You guys want to- no, wait. Okay. Peppermint Lane."
He shoved the reigns at Rep.
"You've got a good nose. Which way?"
Sleigh HP: 35
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Baneful rolled 1 6-sided dice:
2
Total: 2 (1-6)
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Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2013 10:19 pm
Rep smirked nastily at Dwight "I dunno so much man, little girls are usually mean to the boys they like."
He turned his attention to the mission at hand, blinking as the sleigh showed up, looking impressed, he wasn't even dissapointed that it wasn't a runic sleigh, if anything that was reassuring. Even the reigndeer didn't put him off, what was the worst that could happen?
Dwight reminded him and he looked a lot grimmer. Okay. Rescue was in order then.
He edged in comfortably, as always taking up as much room as was humanly possible, nestling his elbow against Harrison's side. It looked like at least this bit would be easy.
Till they moved.
Then it was a matter of holding on for dear life as they positively ******** charged through the trees, branches narrowly missing them and ice everywhere. They were probably going to die. Probably. Harrison was a ******** terrible driver.
But when they slowed enough to speak, he could only laugh his a** off.
"Hahaha that was pretty ******** amazing. But ok, this is how's it's done." He smirked toothily and cracked the reigns.
Apparently he had some untapped latent sleigh driving talents, because what followed was breakneck, but at least devoid of crashing into tree trunks. He smugly handed them to Wash.
"Enjoy."
HP:33
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Ravvlet rolled 1 6-sided dice:
6
Total: 6 (1-6)
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Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:22 am
And then they ran over a yeti.
Wash groaned as he could hear the yeti-bits thunking on the undercarriage of the sleigh. He was suddenly very glad that this wasn't Deus equipment, as he discreetly sidestepped a rib that jutted up through the floor.
"This is a hot mess."
HP:27
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Toshihiko Two rolled 1 6-sided dice:
2
Total: 2 (1-6)
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 5:04 pm
ROLLING FOR SNOWMEN.
"We got worse problems," Harrison said with a grin. He wasn't sure why that made him feel cheery, but there it was.
"Guess they heard about their friend guarding the sleigh. Or maybe they just got real strict joy-riding laws."
He guffawed, straightening out the wire between his fists.
"You hear that? Joy-riding."
Snow1 HP: 15
Snow2 HP: 15
Sleigh HP: 27
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Baneful rolled 2 6-sided dice:
6, 6
Total: 12 (2-12)
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 6:03 pm
Snowmen. It made absolute sense. As much sense as anything else in this place, and he was reminded of watching The Snowman in class at Christmas time. These guys weren't the friendly flying through the moonlit sky type though. They looked like they had murder on their minds. Vengance for every snowman used as a drunken bathroom stop from the pub probably, he thought with a chuckle, a chuckle that turned into a full fledged laugh at Harrison's pun.
Whatever, surely it couldn't be all that difficult to kick down a couple snowmen. As if to demonstrate he kicked one of the buggers. It didn't make much of a dent.
"Lets ice the bastards."
Target: Snowman 1 9 HP
Snowman 2 : 15 HP
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Ravvlet rolled 1 4-sided dice:
2
Total: 2 (1-4)
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:10 am
Joy riding.
Ice.
Puns.
Wash almost dropped the snowdisc as he swung it around and slid it neatly around to hit the second snowman. "Ho ho ho!" He guffawed.
Snowman 1: 9 HP
Target: Snowman 2 : 15 HP
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Toshihiko Two rolled 1 6-sided dice:
3
Total: 3 (1-6)
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:34 am
"Nice! Haha!" Harrison tried to wrangle the remaining snowman, but didn't manage it.
Garroting was a little harder than it looked, when you were going for a drive by.
What Harrison wouldn't give for a festive baseball bat.
Snowman 1: 9 HP
Snowman 2: ded
Sled: (took 5 damage) 22
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Baneful rolled 1 6-sided dice:
1
Total: 1 (1-6)
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:20 pm
Rep laughed as the single remaining snowman ran into the side of the sled and vanished. Well that was ******** easy, he thought. "Easy peasy." he said with a cocky grin.
The new guys wanted to prove him wrong.
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