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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:51 pm
"I only won because I've been doing this for a year and a half and I'm eternal." Kallichore frowned. "I couldn't do s**t to youma when I was super or a senshi. I had to team up with other people and believe me, I hated it too. I hated not being able to function autonomously without risking my life, but sometimes that's what has to be done. And it took me a while to realize there's no shame in that." Pasiphae. The only thing she can do is shield so she has to team up with people. Just like Irene.The eternal tilted her head at the purple senshi's voice. It was almost dripping with self-loathing. It concerned Kallichore quite a bit. "Why are you out by yourself if you have a team? Where are they?" Iris was a name she recognized but only peripherally. She crossed her arms. "Cats don't make mistakes, Irene. Pasiphae, one of my team, she can't do anything but shield people. But it's extremely helpful even if she can't kill anything with her magic. She helps the rest of us all the same." Something about Irene's behavior nagged at the eternal. She didn't like how Irene was ripping herself apart, putting herself down, wrestling with the world on her shoulder. Senshi couldn't live like that. "Irene... why are you so hard on yourself?"
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 9:51 pm
"No, that's not it exactly." While Kallichore's description sounded familiar, Irene felt like she was missing the point just a bit. "I don't mind being one of the crowd, really. Working with other people is fine." Usually. When she wasn't verbally harassing them for stepping in where they weren't wanted, but that reaction was a result of recent events. "It's just, everyone else can make a worthwhile contribution and I'm the only one that can't do anything..."
Admitting that was more painful for Irene than her physical injuries were, but it had to be done. She didn't want Kallichore to get the wrong idea. Though at this point, she still wasn't sure what the right idea was.
The question of where her team was went ignored. Irene didn't know, nor did she want to at that point in time. Going off and doing things with her team was great, but they had coddled her and she was soft because of it. That couldn't be allowed to continue. Instead she just shook her head. "Cats aren't infallible. ********* said she would help, she said she would, and then..." Then she had done nothing, and the betrayal was a sore spot that was refusing to heal.
"I'm not really being hard on myself. I mean, the goal isn't to get beat up or anything." Wow, that made her sound like she was trying to torture herself, which was so not the case, despite it being an unwanted side effect. "I'm not afraid to put in hard work to get what I want. But when I put in the work and nothing happens, then what?"
At least this Pasiphae person could shield people. Irene wouldn't mind so much if she could do that. Her ability was completely worthless to anyone fighting, and she felt like she was as well.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:28 pm
Kallichore frowned a moment, trying to search Irene's face for answers. "...perhaps you haven't figured out how to make a worthwhile contribution, or that you can't see how it is worthwhile yet? What it is your attack does?" Being that Irene didn't include her sphere in her introduction, Kallichore could only guess. The dove on her brooch made her think of feathers, but that was Grus. Maybe birds? The purple senshi's confession about ********* made the eternal blink twice. "*********? Ah, I've met her once. She helped me format and distribute the primer. What did she promise to help you with? Guidance?" That was what cats were for, or so Kallichore thought. If ********* offered to guide Irene and then failed to do so... someone would have to pick up the slack. There would be much lost if something ever happened to Irene, worthwhile contributions or otherwise. "I'm not afraid to put in hard work to get what I want. But when I put in the work and nothing happens, then what?"Kallichore knew the feeling. She'd been working to put a stop to Ares and her minions but it felt like the harder she worked, the further behind she got. Lately she'd almost given up altogether. She bowed her head in response. "Frustration. I know that one like the back of my hand. But... I've found that giving up just pushes my goals further and further away from me. I hate that more than anything." Crossing her arms, the senshi started to slowly pace back and forth in front of Irene. "While I can't offer you the wisdom a cat may, I'd offer you my protection and teach you what I know about fighting, if that helps you at all."
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 8:23 pm
Now they were back to the sphere question, and Irene was avoiding Kallichore's gaze. As irrational as her mindset was, she did know that she hadn't been acting in a way that befitted her sphere. But acting that way had helped exactly nothing. She was tired of letting other people protect her while she did nothing. That was what her civilian life was like, and she was determined to make her senshi life different.
"My attack helps you run away." That sounded so silly, so useless, but it was true. And it helped her avoid the sphere question a little bit longer. "It helps you go a little bit faster, and makes things hurt a little bit less. Except that goes away if you attack anything, so what's the point?" Irene folded her arms and huffed as a spasm ran through her chest. "It's good for other people, but not for fighting, and it doesn't help me at all unless I run away, which I don't want to do anymore."
The topic of ********* was also uncomfortable. It briefly occurred to Irene that she had a lot less she was willing to talk about since starting this mission of hers, but she put it down to being unwilling to share her past failures, rather than her current methods. "It was something only she could help with," she said cagily. Actually, that wasn't strictly true. If Iris had been awakened by another cat, surely another cat could help her out? That might be an option to consider, if she ever ran into another cat.
Then her eyes widened and she shook her head quickly, which made her slightly dizzy. "Oh no, I wasn't going to give up!" Failure was absolutely not an option, and if she ever gave up, she would lose automatically. "I just don't know what to do if this doesn't work. Nothing works. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying." If hitting a brick wall was the only way to proceed, Irene would attack until either she or the wall was broken. "I've tried sparring before," she added, not exactly thrilled with how her last attempt at it had gone. "It didn't work, but... maybe I should try again?"
Maybe she actually had a chance at winning against someone who wasn't like Iris. It was worth a shot, at least.
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:42 pm
Irene's sphere didn't seem all that useless to Kallichore if such a thing were possible. If anything it made the senshi of peace sound like an excellent caretaker to those lower level than she, or people that were hurt. Civilians. Irene would make an excellent overseer to such things when the time for retreat was called. She'd be a lifesaver. But she'd have to become stronger first, perhaps, before she saw the use in it. "Perhaps carrying a weapon with you would help if your attack isn't offensive?" she offered. Kallichore usually teamed up with other people when she was senshi and super level since all her attack could do was distract something. She wasn't strong enough on her own to do much without help from someone else or the environment. It was certainly worth suggesting. "I'd be willing to help you learn some new techniques or to accompany you into battle until the time comes that you ascend in power." As an aside, she added, "Running away isn't the same as tactical retreats. Sometimes it's better to run and live to fight another day. I'm sure ********* would be very upset if anything happened to you. The rest of your team as well." DivineSaturn We can wrap whenever you feel it's good!
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 7:17 pm
"I don't know how to use any weapons, so I'm not sure how helpful one would be." Besides, that felt an awful lot like using a crutch. None of the others needed outside weapons to get the job done, and Irene didn't want to be the only one dependent on one. If she couldn't fight by herself, with no help from anyone else, she would never be as good as the rest of her team.
The promise of teaching was seen as a good thing, but the insinuation that she needed a babysitter in battle made Irene stand a little straighter and a little stiffer. "I appreciate your kind offer, Miss Kallichore, but I would not want to take you away from your own duties." Whenever she was angry but not consumed by rage, as she now was, her tone frosted over and she put on the best manners she had. "Your tutelage has been invaluable, of course, and I will keep your sage advice at the forefront of my mind." Not that she planned on using the phrase 'tactical retreat' as an excuse for fleeing battle, and she didn't want anyone to get her to try.
Instead, she pulled out her senshiphone and snapped Kallichore's picture, registering her data. "I am grateful for everything you have done for me, Miss Kallichore." Or at least she would be, eventually, though at that moment she was really only thankful that she hadn't been killed by the monster. "If you will excuse me, I have other obligations I must attend to."
Without waiting for a reply she turned and ran off down the street, wincing at the searing pain in her abdomen. While she had intended to continue her patrol, she wasn't sure that she would be able to safely. Dying was not on the agenda, no matter what other people thought. Still, this meeting had only made her even more determined to prove- to Iris, to Kallichore, to everyone- her worth as a fighter, by any means necessary.
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